Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial chicks

Flatbill Oligarch

Whats with all the anime avatars?
kiwifarms.net
And gluttony, you can’t forget that.

Caught this before he deleted it. The fucking moron truly expects people to either A) be able to read his mind, or B) have gone through his entire account. He said NOTHING about a matchmaker, matchmaking, or a matchmaking service (whatever the Hell that is) in this post, yet his reply to that comment was “read what I write”. And upon being informed that they had indeed read his post and commented based on that, he just deleted all of the comments.

Every day I’m still somehow shocked that it’s possible for someone to be THIS stupid and still be alive. Idk how it continues to baffle me but it does lol.
Wow he really thinks he's being subtle about the fact he's looking for a hooker, I feel like he might end up taking the Russel Greer approach and start getting himself banned from brothels
 

boner_alert

kiwifarms.net
Wow he really thinks he's being subtle about the fact he's looking for a hooker, I feel like he might end up taking the Russel Greer approach and start getting himself banned from brothels
He's going to be 10000x worse than any John.. for a variety of reasons but the main one being that he's going into the situation with the resolute intent of sex (or whatever he calls humping his mushroom dysfunction onto her ovulator) then strong-arming the hooker into being his forever and ever. To give him a home to move into, all the soda and ketchup soup he wants, and to do what he wants only, which is scream ramble all his criminally stupid thoughts and opinions on things and make her listen to it

Nightmare fuel. Should be taken into consideration to be added as one of Dante's circles of hell
 

GleamingTheQ-Bert

Christian Slaterkin
kiwifarms.net
Poor Lucas. Stuck listening to some hobo's gangbanger beats. It's probably almost as annoying as your bunkmate ranting about teenage ovulators.
For someone who's "allergic to rap", and complains about "wiggers", Lucas sure has adopted a lot of their vernacular into his manner of speech.

Just a few days ago he was talking about how he has to "run his game" on women, as opposed to, you know, talking to them like normal humans, the way you would anyone else, instead of trying to trick them into liking you with magic words?

He professes a dislike for this gangster culture he associates with rap, but clearly takes great joy in dropping the n-word repeatedly, and using all manner of misogynistic slurs, which you could easily associate with this kind of music that he professes such a dislike for.

I know, i know, Lucas is nothing if not hypocritical and self contradictory.
 

klickitat

PhD in Wernology.
kiwifarms.net
Screenshot_20210408-122240_Instagram.jpg

Does he realize that women on dating sites don't live there?

Or that no woman wants to live outdoors the way he does?

Edit: What in the word salad...

Screenshot_20210408-123435_Instagram.jpg
 
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Cnaiur urs Skiotha

Breaker of Horses and Men
kiwifarms.net
Poor Lucas. Stuck listening to some hobo's gangbanger beats. It's probably almost as annoying as your bunkmate ranting about teenage ovulators.
Lucas hates rap and ghetto subculture, thinks kids these days are all polyamorous communists, makes unfunny memes in Impact font and posts them to Facebook, and has diabetes. He's a boomer, his precious Gen X got too old and they're boomers now, sorry boomer
 

Bassomatic

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
That song is pretty rad, B reel is a national treasure, unlike Lucas and I am the most pleb white boy rap listener ever. I'm aware I'm saying I like a song that's as played out and well known as tupacs California love. I chose that song because, when Lucas went to Cali, he got no love. It was really adorable.

I'm really shocked he got his entire stimmy bux in one shot, he's probably super manic on this pile of money, but it says one thing, even his payee, an employee of the gov GAVE UP. (s)he isn't trying to get Lucas a house, clean clothes, education, nothing. This is someone who's job is to help the most mentally ill people. In ways it's noble, it's not your fault your crazy. I've worked with some people who are functionally lower than Lucas and it's sad and awesome. They can't figure something like how to pay bills etc. So someone helps them, they do a job like stock shevles etc and give back to the world and love it. In ways outside of Lucas a payee is a noble job. In his case, and I hope this really drives home, someone said FUCK Lucas Colby Werner, he's a fat faggot creep and I legit want to spend my day helping literal drooling retards keep the cable bill up so they can watch Game of thrones for the 100x time or some shit after mopping floors.

He's clearly getting fleeced for it and it's so funny that someone is living off HIS biden bux and cucking him blasting music off a 4 generation old smart phone and this "alpha male" is letting that shit go down. He's the big silver back who calls the shot, in a room he's paying for and feeding others he can't even man up to ask "can you please turn that down". That's beyond beta, it's some kinda... letter so far down the greek alphabet, it's lost to this sands of time.

Lucas is gonna memory hole the whole "getting laid thing" and go back to begging for a 100 GFE soulmaid ovilator. The only thing funnier is if Lucas tries to pretend he was a gentleman who didn't kiss and tell, the same guy who does selfies in portipotties some how has enough class not to mention a woman he banged.

I'm really lost what he means by women have bad tudes on dating sites, he always ranted he was thrown off them and banned with no replies even. This shows his entitlement, if someone doesn't reply to your dating profile, resume, etc it's a polite/professional no. Other times it's a dead account troll etc, this happens on dating sites, even someone who doesn't use them would know that. Lucas feels if he wants to cum inside you, it's your job to jump when he says how high. Otherwise you're the problem.

He's still caught up with the whole gen Z is commie af and not just support but want to fuck Bernie Sanders, my memory is hazy on all his insanity, has he ever ran into a catfish/troll that plays up the trad wife game? Really wants kids at 22 but into trump Christian etc. I mean he's an idiot and people love to pozload my neghole but if that saga happened, it would be good to re read and if not... well don't do it but some idiot will steal this and go a head because they need internet happy stickers.

Gosh this is getting long, unlike Lucas' micro penis.
 

GleamingTheQ-Bert

Christian Slaterkin
kiwifarms.net
Lucas has never tried vegetarianism, which is surprising. It's both cool with the Gen Z hippies he wants to fuck, and it's been proven that eating meat shortens your telomeres. Lucas' main two blabbing points with one stone. But, I suppose his desire for Clinkernigger supersedes all that.
The fact that he's never professed vegetarianism is a little surprising, but given his complete and utter lack of self-control, the fact that he stress-eats, associates happiness with binging, and the fact that he's clearly addicted to junk food, it's not that surprising that he hasn't actually practiced it.

Remember, Lucas will tell you he's on a vegan diet when he's got a slice of pepperoni pizza in one hand and a hamburger in the other. In one of my favorite Bizarro Lucas transitions from a former video, he vacillated in one sentence between talking about how he was exploring veganism, to lusting after foie gras.

He was trying to tell Goldie how healthy his eating was, and when Goldie pointed out that just the day before he'd been eating snacks from a gas station with great gusto, Lucas didn't even blink. He was just like yeah? so what? I USUALLY eat healthy. And we all know how he considers his homeless stroll around town, his little girl lurking, to be exercise. He used to profess, with seeming sincerity, that he walked 3 miles a day. Yeah, I don't think so. Hiding behind a trash can to ogle the cheerleading team at the local high school is not quite cardio, Lucas.

It must be nice to have a brain unbothered by internal consistency.
 

wenttobermuda

Plenty good!
kiwifarms.net
I enjoy Lucas's hostility towards "rap" and "flatbills," especially in the context of his labored attempts to stay relevant and connect with girlies decades younger than him.

Despite Lucas's best efforts to ingratiate himself with Gen Z baes, there are some concessions that he will not make. He may proclaim sympathy with their politics, and parrot their argot, but he will never listen to their music. Lucas is an old man, and kids these days, they just listen to noise! Now, NIN and KMFDM, that's music...
 

ClownBrew

Drink the brew!
kiwifarms.net
Lucas' latest brilliant idea is to give a Genz guy $100 for him to hook Lucas up with an introduction with a young hot Gen Z bae. Genz dudes are immature and while they might agree to introduce Lucas with a hot bae, after talking with Lucas for 5 minutes it is going to become clear to her that he might potentially pose a threat to her both, physically, and emotionally. Lucas would be better served offering the money to an older Gen X guy of his own age to set up an introduction with the girl he wants. I say this because Most (not all) older men do know how to speak with woman, and several of us do hook up with younger women in their 20s. I think Lucas' thinking on this subject is fundamentally flawed.

He see his best and only chance of meeting a young Bae is through the men of said generation. I disagree, his best chance of meeting a young hawt willing 20 something is through the guys of his own generation. Because Lucas doesn't know how to talk to and hook up with women, that is definitely not the case for many guys of his very own generation. Maybe it's because Gen X guys are real and don't use cheesy pick up lines with the word 'friend' in them, plus the majority of us don't come off rapey. Although I would feel sorry for any girl put into this situation, older men will inherently protect women who they are close to and friends with. Lucas' world view is that of only Gen Z guys with the baseball caps acting like wiggers are his only chance. I am not sure if he remembers or not, but he is describing many from our generation (Gen X) who were teenagers in the 90's that acted exacted the same way. Styles from earlier generations (in this case, teenage styles from GenX teenagers) many times become stylish again, Generation Z are acting, dressing, talking, adopting the very generation that Lucas comes from. But ultimately I suspect he was a dork then, and in 20 years he falls into that exact same category of loser.


If anything I feel that Lucas is a prime example of everything that went wrong with X...just in a really exaggerated way in his case.

He's the extreme version of what happens when people experience a troubled upbringing and at the same time are brainwashed with lefto subversive politics everywhere they turn.

Even in the way that he tries to latch onto Z it just illustrates one of the most screwed up things about X-- the cringey obsession with trying to be seen as eternal edgy teens into middle age and even old age. Le sigh forever cool! Hello fellow youths! Fuck Reagan amirite?

We slam Luke for his insane extremes of this stuff...but is the next 45 year old stunted development case in the torn Ramones tee shirt really any better?

Generation X is a shithouse fire in general.
 

Mother Fucker

He's done playin' dead. Now he's PISSED
kiwifarms.net
We slam Luke for his insane extremes of this stuff...but is the next 45 year old stunted development case in the torn Ramones tee shirt really any better?

There's plenty of mentally handicapped people who aren't anywhere near as much of an insufferable cunt as Lucas. Why are you always on here trying to blame his faggotry on other shit like it's not his fault. Lucas is an absolute piece of shit regardless of any other factor.
 

GleamingTheQ-Bert

Christian Slaterkin
kiwifarms.net
There's plenty of mentally handicapped people who aren't anywhere near as much of an insufferable cunt as Lucas. Why are you always on here trying to blame his faggotry on other shit like it's not his fault. Lucas is an absolute piece of shit regardless of any other factor.
Yeah, total agreement.

Lucas wasn't brainwashed with Lefty politics, he dipped a toe into them to justify his pedophilia and terminal laziness, picked up the bits that he thought would support his teenie lust, and leaves any real philosophy or political thought behind, because of course it's too much for his pea brain.

He also doesn't want to be an eternal teenager, just look at how scornful he is of the way that he thinks gen Z dresses... he wants to fuck teenagers, he doesn't want to be one.

Your average arrested development case in a t-shirt from a band that had broken up before they were born may be a douchebag, but they're a far cry from Lucas.
 
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ClownBrew

Drink the brew!
kiwifarms.net
Why are you always on here trying to blame his faggotry on other shit like it's not his fault.

Lolwutt?

I'm just about the only person here who doesn't believe he's a disabled schizobipolarsperger with brain diseases and sheeit.

I'm on here pointing out just about daily that his real problems are weed and fast food and mommy issues.

Typically earns me a couple of dumbs and puzzle pieces each night usually courtesy of either Wonder Wino or Martelli.

Won't stop me from calling it as I see it. Luke's problem is he's a fat weed addled coomer...never said otherwise.
 

Bassomatic

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Eh, everyone is entitled to an opinion, and rather not see our fellow wernolgists bicker, but it's good to view him in other ways. Personally, I think his mental illness shaped his behavior that, makes him do/think worse.

Also, it's a great fun way to point out Lucas is a negative stereotype of gen X, and chicken or egg aside it's really funny to point out a broken older gen trying to bully the "cool kids" is no different than yelling about them darned beatles and that negro like Elvis! Nothing makes you come off more out of touch.

I think his drug use is half self medication, (schizos have an awful high drug use rate because it calms voices in the winds) and part bcecause he's so insane he sees buying pot as some kinda mating call flex.

The fast food, Lucas is just a gorging animal, I legit think he's gotta have some mental illness related to eating, because aside mommy giving him treats when no one wants to be around him, there's not way to eat what he does and not feel so sick you'd learn better. But it's not a joke he hits more than one shelter up for food, blows his EBT, begs for food AND hits up food pantries. He's stuffing himself like a fucking bear ready to hibernate non stop. When he was younger and at home, we saw he was even bigger. Only reason he's not 400+ is he has to walk from one shelter to next to get fed.

If you all disagree agree throw tism stickers and move on, to quote much greater men than you and I, bill and Ted, be excellent to each other. Also 69 dude! Something Lucas will never do, because firstly, never will he have a sexual partner, but he can't even get a boner. So even if he got with a girl to eat puss puss, it would be a 68 because his mirco dick falls in his fat stomach lol.
 

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