Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial chicks

Josef Mengele

Single and ready to Mengel
kiwifarms.net
Why is he suddenly backcombing through all these old videos from the library? Why hasn't the potatophone been replaced yet?
Maybe King Roy called the internet lumberjack to chop it down! But in all seriousness, Lucas has either just bought the new phone, missed his washout period and will wait till next week, or is trying to hide from the infodump released by @DefunctGames, his trespass case, him wearing hospital pants, and the fact that he was either irresponsible and lost his phone/money or that he got robbed by Isaac/Izik. I really hope he pops up soon, he is my favorite cow and not having him here makes me sad.
 

klickitat

PhD in Wernology.
kiwifarms.net
Maybe King Roy called the internet lumberjack to chop it down! But in all seriousness, Lucas has either just bought the new phone, missed his washout period and will wait till next week, or is trying to hide from the infodump released by @DefunctGames, his trespass case, him wearing hospital pants, and the fact that he was either irresponsible and lost his phone/money or that he got robbed by Isaac/Izik. I really hope he pops up soon, he is my favorite cow and not having him here makes me sad.

If he really is staying at a tweaker house, it wouldn't surprise me if he got robbed the instant he started flashing cash again.

Hell he wouldn't even have to do that, he likes bragging about his "free money", chances are every tweaker hobo in the place knows when and where he gets paid and were waiting for him.
 

Serialmom

kiwifarms.net
Maybe he wasn't able to make it to his payee Friday? If I am not mistaken, he gets handed a check and cashes it in the check cashing store and waddles around with cash in his pocket. As we know, he likes to show it off like a true oligarch.

Lucas loves his tugboat port calls and I have a hard time believing he would be late to one. But who knows?
I forgot he had a payee. Most recipients have a card loaded with bennies.
 

ClownBrew

Drink the brew!
kiwifarms.net
Well I'm sure his tugboat came in.


Yeah, today was Firsa Da Munt after all...but usually he's already back online and posting his word-salad rap-drops on the same day. Right about now we should be seeing him rolling around in bed licking a party platter of 50 burritos and hollering about marxizzum already.

Something is really off here.
 

IceQueen

kiwifarms.net
While we’re in a PukeAss content drought, I figured I would share a random thought I had about him earlier: Lucas is the epitome of the prefix “un-”. He is unloved, uneducated, unwelcome most everywhere, unsophisticated, unwanted, unclean, untouched, unable to be a normal human being, unattractive, unhealthy, unaccepted, unappreciative, unemployable, unintelligible… I’m sure there are more “un-” words that describe him, those are just the only ones I thought of.
 

WonderWino

kiwifarms.net
While we’re in a PukeAss content drought, I figured I would share a random thought I had about him earlier: Lucas is the epitome of the prefix “un-”. He is unloved, uneducated, unwelcome most everywhere, unsophisticated, unwanted, unclean, untouched, unable to be a normal human being, unattractive, unhealthy, unaccepted, unappreciative, unemployable, unintelligible… I’m sure there are more “un-” words that describe him, those are just the only ones I thought of.
You left out the obvious one: unwashed
 

Particle Bored

I am made out of toothpicks and glue.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
While we’re in a PukeAss content drought, I figured I would share a random thought I had about him earlier: Lucas is the epitome of the prefix “un-”. He is unloved, uneducated, unwelcome most everywhere, unsophisticated, unwanted, unclean, untouched, unable to be a normal human being, unattractive, unhealthy, unaccepted, unappreciative, unemployable, unintelligible… I’m sure there are more “un-” words that describe him, those are just the only ones I thought of.

You left out the obvious one: unwashed
Unwiped. Drop it and dip.
 

Maxxicus Callahan

kiwifarms.net
While we’re in a PukeAss content drought, I figured I would share a random thought I had about him earlier: Lucas is the epitome of the prefix “un-”. He is unloved, uneducated, unwelcome most everywhere, unsophisticated, unwanted, unclean, untouched, unable to be a normal human being, unattractive, unhealthy, unaccepted, unappreciative, unemployable, unintelligible… I’m sure there are more “un-” words that describe him, those are just the only ones I thought of.
Unmedicated, unhinged, unkind, unsavoury, untrustworthy, unbalanced, unaccountable, unprincipled, unappealing, undateable, unfuckable, unreal, unenlightening, undisciplined, unwise, unreliable. Under a bridge unable to realize how he fucked it all up for himself.

Edit: Unwiped is the best though that just paints the worst picture in those baby blue hospital pants.
 
Last edited:

Loosey Goosey

kiwifarms.net
The Spokane Freak got his SSI yesterday. "If" he was without a phone, he would have had time by now to get a new one.

Well I'm sure his tugboat came in.

Maybe he wasn't able to make it to his payee Friday?

Something is really off here.
Come on guys, I think it's obvious what's happened. All those countless hours of professing his love to an entire generation, showing off how woke he is, his amazing cooking skills and all the "impressive" meals he eats, the zoomers finally gave in to lust and lined up to thrust. Lucas isn't posting anymore because he drowned in the pussy.

20210502_134937.jpg
 

Da Dude123

Give in to lust, give in to thrust.
kiwifarms.net
I was hoping the cow would emerge this weekend and go back to accusing others of bigotry and telling everyone how he is plenty good. Also, how you like Bernie Sanders, well you should like fat ugly hobos. But no! Just some comments on a YouTube video.

Come on, Lucas. Where you at, you cow? Did you get swindled out of the tugboat? If he did then that tard needs to be wrangled. He really does probably need to be in a home for the exceptional.
 

Nobleman

kiwifarms.net
Just a friendly reminder, Lucas has a payee so his check indeed arrives around the first, he doesn't get it on that date. From what has been deduced from many of his videos, his payee takes a chunk and puts it into a housing fund, and then breaks up the rest and gives Lucas a check for each Monday of the month.

Now the question is to be asked, if Lucas gets a check every Monday, why didn't he get a phone? Well we know why. He is an idiot. Let's recall last time I saw him, he was walking down the street in hospital pants, but instead of ya know, buying pants, he went into the NUDO Ramen restaurant to check out what's to eat. A purely impulsive hand to mouth existence.
 

Da Dude123

Give in to lust, give in to thrust.
kiwifarms.net
Unwiped. Drop it and dip.
Just a friendly reminder, Lucas has a payee so his check indeed arrives around the first, he doesn't get it on that date. From what has been deduced from many of his videos, his payee takes a chunk and puts it into a housing fund, and then breaks up the rest and gives Lucas a check for each Monday of the month.

Now the question is to be asked, if Lucas gets a check every Monday, why didn't he get a phone? Well we know why. He is an idiot. Let's recall last time I saw him, he was walking down the street in hospital pants, but instead of ya know, buying pants, he went into the NUDO Ramen restaurant to check out what's to eat. A purely impulsive hand to mouth existence.
A lot of good that housing fund is doing. He has been homeless for a year and has not even came close to finding housing. Maybe the payee saw what a useless endeavor trying to get Lucas into housing is and said the hell with it? Just give tubby his gubmint handouts. He earned them by being an exceptional individual. Of course, he can't have more than $2000 in his name.

Maybe Fat Lucas will have a new prepaid phone and some donation bin clothing tomorrow?
 

ClownBrew

Drink the brew!
kiwifarms.net
I can't imagine what Payee is doing with that money. She may as well be stuffing it down a gigolo's codpiece in some seedy alley behind Clinkerdaggers at this point for all the good it's doing. Lucas should have been housed a good eight months ago.

I'd ask myself if there is even one competent person at the wheel in Washington but at this point I have run out of margarita mix.
 

mothman96

kiwifarms.net
When the 1st falls on a weekend the Freak gets his SSI on the Friday before. The SSI was in his acct by the morning of the 30th (Friday). He has access to the money on the same day it is deposited into his acct. He could have gotten a check from the payee on Friday. He's had the same $1200 savings for an apt. for at least 7 mo. which shows he's been blowing all of his monthly SSI.
 

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