Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial chicks

Telomayonnaise

the gh0st of Roddy Piper
kiwifarms.net
Waiting patiently for the Jonestown-esque pregnant 16 year old finger chop cult compound deep in the backwoods of north spokane arc after the Escape From The Loonie Bin Lucas Plissken arc that cant be far around the corner now :) He's so fuckin nutty lately I really think the 90 degree heat in the cheese chamber might be starving him of oxygen because hes too fat poor and noided to go outside to cut wind. No way he makes it to year's end like this.
 

BowlOfDick

I can resist anything but temptation
kiwifarms.net
Waiting patiently for the Jonestown-esque pregnant 16 year old finger chop cult compound deep in the backwoods of north spokane arc after the Escape From The Loonie Bin Lucas Plissken arc that cant be far around the corner now :) He's so fuckin nutty lately I really think the 90 degree heat in the cheese chamber might be starving him of oxygen because hes too fat poor and noided to go outside to cut wind. No way he makes it to year's end like this.
Didn't he make a post about almost dying from walking two hours? With type two diabetes and obesity, Mr Werner is tremendously unhealthy. Merely seeing his exercise capacity and his perception of what he deems 'arduous exercise' shows that he's not long for this world.

tl;dr: He's not far from stroke/heart failure and once he hits 40, the statistics are even more against him. One way or another, he shall sadly expire within the next decade, mark my words.
 

Rescuetoast

thrillho
kiwifarms.net
Didn't he make a post about almost dying from walking two hours? With type two diabetes and obesity, Mr Werner is tremendously unhealthy. Merely seeing his exercise capacity and his perception of what he deems 'arduous exercise' shows that he's not long for this world.

tl;dr: He's not far from stroke/heart failure and once he hits 40, the statistics are even more against him. One way or another, he shall sadly expire within the next decade, mark my words.
And the internet will notice before anyone irl does.
 

Agoraphobic Bullshit

Probably sick of someone's shit
kiwifarms.net
Indeed, I can picture it now..

“We haven’t heard from Lucas in a while.” On KF for a few weeks until someone has the sense to call it in. Police find his bloated(er?) corpse on his filthy bed, surrounded by Meeple.
Between the bloat and the normal stench, the first responders will have to poke him with a stick to ensure he's really dead.
 

GleamingTheQ-Bert

Christian Slaterkin
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 874440

Imagine, as a grown ass man, blaming others for language YOU choose to use.
Just another case of Lucas trying to not take charge of his own shitty personality and behaviour.
Has anyone else EVER heard of using "going balls deep" as a euphemism for someone chewing you out?

That's the most casually gay thing I've ever heard.

Don't worry Lucas, us kiwis won't keep going balls deep and running a train on you. Your ass has been pwned enough for one lifetime by your exceptional individual brain.
 

Onomatopoeicpun

kiwifarms.net
Has anyone else EVER heard of using "going balls deep" as a euphemism for someone chewing you out?

That's the most casually gay thing I've ever heard.

Don't worry Lucas, us kiwis won't keep going balls deep and running a train on you. Your ass has been pwned enough for one lifetime by your exceptional individual brain.
I'm also only familiar with 'going balls deep' as a sexual thing so I'm not sure where he picked up as a synonym for having a go at someone. But he misuses a lot of words and phrases so it's not anything new.
 

Rogowski

HIS NAME WAS CHLOE PATTERSON
kiwifarms.net
We've circled back to telomeres:
1564887712460.png

1564887818723.png

Lucas is hanging out at clubs apparantly and getting fist bumps from the dudebros he used to loathe:
1564887902237.png

1564887928186.png


Can you imagine Lucas sitting in the corner of a club sipping on a glass of whiskey while he eyefucks every young girl in the place? This is his sweetheart search.
 

mothman96

kiwifarms.net
We've circled back to telomeres:
View attachment 874865
View attachment 874875
Lucas is hanging out at clubs apparantly and getting fist bumps from the dudebros he used to loathe:
View attachment 874877
View attachment 874878

Can you imagine Lucas sitting in the corner of a club sipping on a glass of whiskey while he eyefucks every young girl in the place? This is his sweetheart search.
He threw his pseudo-science out the window trying to get Lacie to have sex with him, so he went out to pick it up again. His schizo brain just won't accept his "telomeres" will make it he'll pass on his bad genetics.
And he went from "All these guys kept....giving me fist bumps" to "Got several fist bumps". All to several -- as usual he can't keep his "story" straight.

ETA: Is he planning to use a fake name at the dance club. All that's needed is for the name "Lucas Werner" to come out, and yea it's going to draw attention. Not the attention he wants.
 
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sharshorita

kiwifarms.net
IT WAS AN ENGLISH CLASS.

Your graduate student English teacher is not qualified to tell you whether your scientific assertions are bullshit, which they are. You haven't written a scientific "paper." The only reason you got a 90% was because the teacher recognized she was dealing with a crazy person and wanted to give you the lowest grade you wouldn't complain about. She didn't evaluate your sources or check counter-evidence. She looked to see that you cited things with the correct format.

Your 90% proves absolutely nothing.

Introductory biology was *immediately* too hard for you (because there are tests with objective answers and you can't bullshit for a grade), after you bragged about wearing a lab coat to look at some amoebas or some shit.
 

Agoraphobic Bullshit

Probably sick of someone's shit
kiwifarms.net
IT WAS AN ENGLISH CLASS.

Your graduate student English teacher is not qualified to tell you whether your scientific assertions are bullshit, which they are. You haven't written a scientific "paper." The only reason you got a 90% was because the teacher recognized she was dealing with a crazy person and wanted to give you the lowest grade you wouldn't complain about. She didn't evaluate your sources or check counter-evidence. She looked to see that you cited things with the correct format.

Your 90% proves absolutely nothing.

Introductory biology was *immediately* too hard for you (because there are tests with objective answers and you can't bullshit for a grade), after you bragged about wearing a lab coat to look at some amoebas or some shit.
English class at a community college, no less. I won't knock community colleges, they're a great option for a lot of people, but passing first year community college English basically means that you can read and write sinple sentences and can recognize which words are verbs.
 

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