Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial chicks

Agoraphobic Bullshit

The Town Crier and Boozehound
kiwifarms.net
Indeed, I can picture it now..

“We haven’t heard from Lucas in a while.” On KF for a few weeks until someone has the sense to call it in. Police find his bloated(er?) corpse on his filthy bed, surrounded by Meeple.
Between the bloat and the normal stench, the first responders will have to poke him with a stick to ensure he's really dead.
 

GleamingTheQ-Bert

Christian Slaterkin
kiwifarms.net
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Imagine, as a grown ass man, blaming others for language YOU choose to use.
Just another case of Lucas trying to not take charge of his own shitty personality and behaviour.
Has anyone else EVER heard of using "going balls deep" as a euphemism for someone chewing you out?

That's the most casually gay thing I've ever heard.

Don't worry Lucas, us kiwis won't keep going balls deep and running a train on you. Your ass has been pwned enough for one lifetime by your retard brain.
 

Onomatopoeicpun

kiwifarms.net
Has anyone else EVER heard of using "going balls deep" as a euphemism for someone chewing you out?

That's the most casually gay thing I've ever heard.

Don't worry Lucas, us kiwis won't keep going balls deep and running a train on you. Your ass has been pwned enough for one lifetime by your exceptional individual brain.
I'm also only familiar with 'going balls deep' as a sexual thing so I'm not sure where he picked up as a synonym for having a go at someone. But he misuses a lot of words and phrases so it's not anything new.
 

mothman96

kiwifarms.net
We've circled back to telomeres:
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Lucas is hanging out at clubs apparantly and getting fist bumps from the dudebros he used to loathe:
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Can you imagine Lucas sitting in the corner of a club sipping on a glass of whiskey while he eyefucks every young girl in the place? This is his sweetheart search.
He threw his pseudo-science out the window trying to get Lacie to have sex with him, so he went out to pick it up again. His schizo brain just won't accept his "telomeres" will make it he'll pass on his bad genetics.
And he went from "All these guys kept....giving me fist bumps" to "Got several fist bumps". All to several -- as usual he can't keep his "story" straight.

ETA: Is he planning to use a fake name at the dance club. All that's needed is for the name "Lucas Werner" to come out, and yea it's going to draw attention. Not the attention he wants.
 
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sharshorita

kiwifarms.net
IT WAS AN ENGLISH CLASS.

Your graduate student English teacher is not qualified to tell you whether your scientific assertions are bullshit, which they are. You haven't written a scientific "paper." The only reason you got a 90% was because the teacher recognized she was dealing with a crazy person and wanted to give you the lowest grade you wouldn't complain about. She didn't evaluate your sources or check counter-evidence. She looked to see that you cited things with the correct format.

Your 90% proves absolutely nothing.

Introductory biology was *immediately* too hard for you (because there are tests with objective answers and you can't bullshit for a grade), after you bragged about wearing a lab coat to look at some amoebas or some shit.
 

Agoraphobic Bullshit

The Town Crier and Boozehound
kiwifarms.net
IT WAS AN ENGLISH CLASS.

Your graduate student English teacher is not qualified to tell you whether your scientific assertions are bullshit, which they are. You haven't written a scientific "paper." The only reason you got a 90% was because the teacher recognized she was dealing with a crazy person and wanted to give you the lowest grade you wouldn't complain about. She didn't evaluate your sources or check counter-evidence. She looked to see that you cited things with the correct format.

Your 90% proves absolutely nothing.

Introductory biology was *immediately* too hard for you (because there are tests with objective answers and you can't bullshit for a grade), after you bragged about wearing a lab coat to look at some amoebas or some shit.
English class at a community college, no less. I won't knock community colleges, they're a great option for a lot of people, but passing first year community college English basically means that you can read and write sinple sentences and can recognize which words are verbs.
 

mothman96

kiwifarms.net
Lucas the liar Werner, said he got a 90 on that paper, and here he is telling Emilia he got an 86. Knowing Lucas wants to appear "intelligent", the 86 is likely fudged too. Yea, the girls that "peer" reviewed it, got so woke on his long telomeres, they can't wait to get pregnant by Lucas's super duper magical sperm. His teacher not impressed, it was "okay".
Of course he set up the scenario he knows is not going to happen. Meet and pay him $1000 to see his grade, otherwise "take his word".

[12/06/2019, 09:17:35] Lucas Werner: I did do one on telomeres and ageism last quarter to an 86%.

[12/06/2019, 09:18:38] Emilia: Cool did they like it?

[12/06/2019, 09:18:43] Lucas Werner: If I do one on telomeres again in a few years it'll be all on that

[12/06/2019, 09:19:00] Emilia: Bet it opened their eyes like your stuff did to me and Kayla

[12/06/2019, 09:19:08] Lucas Werner: The girls that peer reviewed it did. My teacher thought it was okay.
[12/06/2019, 09:19:22] Emilia: Girls like your research
 
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AbraCadaver

Mental health awareness, depression, giant shrimp.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Indeed, I can picture it now..

“We haven’t heard from Lucas in a while.” On KF for a few weeks until someone has the sense to call it in. Police find his bloated(er?) corpse on his filthy bed, surrounded by blocks of cheese and cum-stained children’s back to school fashion adverts.
Ftfy fam

His writeup reads like a Jane Goodall safari diary. “Day two: i have entered the sanctuary of the Attractive Tribe. Their males seem to have accepted me, and do not see me as a threat! They have allowed me to sit in the corner and have displayed crude hand gestures of approval. This is a good sign. This sanctuary attracts the most fertile females in the jungle, and I am confident I can catch and study one. For now I will sit and blend in to not provoke the males and will wait for a suitable female specimen to approach me.”

No, they fist bumped you bro? Wow! I bet they weren’t drunk and laughing at you and doing it ironically, definitely not something i can totally see anyone doing at a bar when a fat smelly reject walks in.

I do love his “I’m going to take my time and wait to catch the right fine broad, just waaaaaiiit...”

Mate you can wait forever but no woman is going home with you because you are FUCKING UGLY. It’s not a damn bear trap, you don’t just show up and wait to catch a woman. You’ll be lucky to catch the 4 am leftover girls who are on the same level of ugly as you and know it. And even then....you give off crazy vibes. They may still choose to go home alone rather than talk to you.

Just sitting in the corner for hours like a reject while handsomer, younger men dance with women and have fun. No woman will touch you, certainly not the hottest in town. And the longer you sit there, the older and creepier you will get.
 
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AbraCadaver

Mental health awareness, depression, giant shrimp.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
This is my favorite part. Lucas swears he isn’t autistic but he can’t tell when his infamy proceeds him and he’s the butt of the joke. Maybe it happens every where he goes and he’s become numb to it?
Has he really never encountered drunk idiots seeing some loser in public and being like “mate go say hi to him it’ll be hilarious...ey go slap that fat bastard on the back, ask him how it’s going, haha let’s just fuck with him all night, what a sad sack of shite he is”?

I mean it’s more a schoolkid thing but yeah, a group of boys pretending to say hi over and over to some sad sack and then sniggering about it is absolutely a universal thing. He MUST be autistic if he can’t see that for what it is. His super-oblivious comment of “they seem accepting of me being here and watching other people, they kept giving me first bumps so they must oddly approve of me” makes him sound like an alien who just beamed down from Planet Autismo.

Doesn’t top his logic of “if I keep going to this bar every night, eventually attractive women will talk to me and then sleep with me because....reasons??” He doesn’t seem to realize that if no hot woman wants to talk to him now, they won’t be more likely to later. Women don’t just ping-pong at high speed around a club all night, talking to whatever man they speed into and it’s just a matter of standing still long enough until their random trajectory throws them into you.

Women group around each other, their dates, their friends and attractive, outgoing guys who seem very fun and sociable. They are not going to speak to the fat weirdo in the corner with the rape-stare who doesn’t talk to anyone or dance.
 
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mothman96

kiwifarms.net
Back in 2009 Lucas based on his autistic traits wondered if he had Rett Syndrome. Now he refused to get tested for autism.
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How do we know Lucas actually went in the club. He's not known for truthfulness. Last time he loitered outside several and took selfies.
"If" he did, I don't believe the fist bumps happened.