that steak picture makes me wish he would do more cooking with the wern videos
Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial chicks
- Thread starter SpacePanther
- Start date
Counterpoint:
“I used to enjoy my platonic friendships with women, but none of my female friends wanted me to dick them down. So fuck em.”
JuniperFalls
kiwifarms.net
Lucas admits he has a teeny peeny, but it doesn't matter because he has other options:
When he gets put back into a lockdown facility, maybe they can find some anti-psychotics with the side effect of killing the sex drive?
When he gets put back into a lockdown facility, maybe they can find some anti-psychotics with the side effect of killing the sex drive?
I love that he has no idea what women want sexually.
“They just want large body parts forced up them, right? They wanna be punched in the uterus? No worries about angle, access to the clitoris, body position, they just sit at home stuffing eggplants into themselves right??”
Most straight women want between a medium sized to medium-large dick, even the gigantic ones can be painful and unpleasant. But no, Lucas thinks women want an entire hairy forearm stuffed up inside of them, punching their lungs.
I mean, guys like sticking their dicks in tight holes, right? So I bet they’d love forcing their dicks through a hole the size of a thimble. Sounds just dandy.
“They just want large body parts forced up them, right? They wanna be punched in the uterus? No worries about angle, access to the clitoris, body position, they just sit at home stuffing eggplants into themselves right??”
Most straight women want between a medium sized to medium-large dick, even the gigantic ones can be painful and unpleasant. But no, Lucas thinks women want an entire hairy forearm stuffed up inside of them, punching their lungs.
I mean, guys like sticking their dicks in tight holes, right? So I bet they’d love forcing their dicks through a hole the size of a thimble. Sounds just dandy.
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#saltpeter
JuniperFalls
kiwifarms.net
Don't forget, women also want to routinely be referred to in the most vulgar sexual terms available. "Looking for a coochie attached to a functional fertile womb! Come to me, ovulators, and I'll buy you sushi!"
ManbearPig
kiwifarms.net
I remember seeing a post last year from the fat pedowern saying he was at a restarant banging his head on the wall crying and saying “I want a girlfriend” over and over. He said the staff told him to stop or leave and he replied he wants a gf but everyone is a bigot. Anybody remember that?
I also remember something about him getting into a physical altercation with someone else at the tard house over him borrowing someone’s phone and wanting to use it to send a pic of his tiny MRSA dick to an underage girl. I can imagine the guy reasonably telling Lucas no, Lucas then becomes enraged with his fat ginormous man tits flopping around while some farts rip out at the same time.
I also remember something about him getting into a physical altercation with someone else at the tard house over him borrowing someone’s phone and wanting to use it to send a pic of his tiny MRSA dick to an underage girl. I can imagine the guy reasonably telling Lucas no, Lucas then becomes enraged with his fat ginormous man tits flopping around while some farts rip out at the same time.
“Oomph Oomph, honies.”
Christ he makes my vagina cringe in loathing. I think I just reflexively inhaled my own panties in self-defence.
It's funny that we discussed the audio hallucinations in the "background noise bigots" vid right before he started hearing even more elaborate auditory phantoms in the form of "we want babies!", etc.
Where are the tard wranglers? Are they no longer up on his social media? He's more aggressive, more disgusting, and crazier than ever recently.
Where are the tard wranglers? Are they no longer up on his social media? He's more aggressive, more disgusting, and crazier than ever recently.
JuniperFalls
kiwifarms.net
Which is why I was not joking when I say I wish they'd give him a drug cocktail that suppresses his sex drive. I can't recall him ever posting a non-cringe comment about what he likes -- "I'd love to meet a woman with pretty eyes / a nice smile / long shiny hair" -- it's always something crassly sexual and worded in a way that would make even a porn star want to try celibacy for a change.
That twinge you felt in your lower belly just now was your tubes spontaneously tying themselves to protect the next generation of humanity -- ovulators and non-ovulators both.
pr3nt177
kiwifarms.net
From the undisputed stud of Spokane. Form an orderly queue ladies.
ManbearPig
kiwifarms.net
Tell me what you would do in this situation: let’s say you are out somewhere nice enjoying yourself, possibly even a fancy British tea house. You see the pedowern staring at you and taking pictures then notice the smell of his farts creep up your nose. He’d want you to crave his telomeres.
That's because Lucas is functioning more like a rutting animal.
JuniperFalls
kiwifarms.net
Extra horrifying thought: given Lucas' preferred age range for potential victims, "hole the size of a thimble" sounds about right.
Which is another reason I REALLY wish the catfishers and others egging him on would knock it off, because I do worry he might be a danger to certain residents of Spokane. That time he saw a guy on his phone and was convinced the guy was actually a Kiwi Farmer -- yeah, well, so long as it's a GUY on his phone I don't think Lucas will dare bother him. But a cute little middle-school girl on her phone might not be so lucky.
I feel like if anyone uses that line, canisters of pepper spray automatically appear in the purses of women within a square mile.
Can we all agree that "Telomeres" will from now on be thread code for lucas's farts? As in "longer Telomeres", he's certainly got em with all that cheese. His pantaloonies must be a ring of Ash by now.
Trainwreck
kiwifarms.net
Well, since Lucas won't confirm or deny, I will. He lives on either the 2nd or 3rd floor.
Yup, all the guys in Spokane with hot girlfriends are shaking in their shoes fearing the town psycho is going to talk their girlfriend away. Lucas can prove it's his charm.
As long as we're dreaming, I'd like a pony.
Add Lucas to the list of people triggered by Dave Chappelle’s new Netflix special. (Let’s be honest he probably thought it was funny like most people his age but he thinks he might get laid for hating on Chapelle)
Being ageist gives Lucas the right to be racist maybe, he won’t cone out and say it.
Being ageist gives Lucas the right to be racist maybe, he won’t cone out and say it.