Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial chicks

TalmudSperg

New Zealander & Agriculturalist
kiwifarms.net
I love that he has no idea what women want sexually.

“They just want large body parts forced up them, right? They wanna be punched in the uterus? No worries about angle, access to the clitoris, body position, they just sit at home stuffing eggplants into themselves right??”
Matthew: I-you know, I think the last book Kacey read was last week. And she reads books, y'know, she reads books like you probably stuff candy into your unclit.

Chris: [rage button pushed] Stuff...candy...don't...I stuff vegetables into my unclit! I stuff carrots! I stuff cucumbers! I stuff corn! I stuff eggplants into my unclit!
 
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Agoraphobic Bullshit

The Town Crier and Boozehound
kiwifarms.net
I already considered it. It happened to occur in the same moment I was considering what it must be like to be Lucas Werner.
I considered it when I thought about how awful it would be to be a few years younger and have him thirst after me.

Woke Werner strikes again.
Lucas could die of a heart attack tonight and literally only like 2 people would be sad about it and that’s his mom and dad and I feel like even his dad might have a sense of relief.
His mom was the one who put all of his shit out there on the internet. She might be pretty relieved too.
 

Cheesy Cukes

I'm avoiding grain.
kiwifarms.net
I am definitely liking this Variety Pack Wern output.

He had boring periods by leaning in too hard on one aspect of weirdness, and had boring periods by just... being boring.

But we're getting cowmedy whiplash, him going from "trans rights" to "I can hear the masses arguing over me" to "I'm going to shove my forearm up your vagina" in a couple days.
 

Onomatopoeicpun

kiwifarms.net
Lucas thinks that he's 'punk as fuck'.
FB_IMG_1568197271950.jpg

Now, I'm not a punk by any stretch of the imagination, but I have seen some of that crowd, and it seems to me that tattoos are quite popular among punks.

Also I'm not sure by what metrics he considers himself a punk. I mean, I don't think 18 year old girls are deep into the punk scene, although I could be wrong.
 

drtoboggan

Please, call me Mantis.
kiwifarms.net
Lucas thinks that he's 'punk as fuck'.
View attachment 931919
Now, I'm not a punk by any stretch of the imagination, but I have seen some of that crowd, and it seems to me that tattoos are quite popular among punks.

Also I'm not sure by what metrics he considers himself a punk. I mean, I don't think 18 year old girls are deep into the punk scene, although I could be wrong.
Lucas is about as punk as Dick Cheney's underwear.
 

Krathnami

kiwifarms.net
From having to enter his room. Can you imagine the stench?
How long do you think Lucas would be dead before anybody noticed he was missing? Sure, his apartment would start to smell especially bad, but I’ve had stinky neighbors before and I usually could just write that off as bad cooking, and in Lucas’ case it wouldn’t be a stretch at all. In reality, Lucas could be dead for months before the smell got so overwhelming that building management expects to do a welfare check.