Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial chicks

Man vs persistent rat

A good egg is a nice person
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
That Victorian Intelligence screen recording was fantastic. The guy who can't hold down a job or pass community college is expanding his big, swollen brain about how people 150 years ago were so much more elevated than modern people (and of course he means every modern person other than himself, Cute Older Jesus). The subtitle used the word "psychometric", that makes him a scientist, right?

Of course, his attraction sign still only includes sushi and pizza in the dating offer. Lucas, where are the "cheap burritos" of the proletariat that apparently will bring the girls running?
 

AnOminous

shalom motherfucker
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
That Victorian Intelligence screen recording was fantastic. The guy who can't hold down a job or pass community college is expanding his big, swollen brain about how people 150 years ago were so much more elevated (and of course he means every modern person other than himself). The subtitle used the word "psychometric", that makes him a scientist, right?

In the Victorian era, he would have been chained to a wall in an asylum and left there forever on his very first loony tantrum.
 

GleamingTheQ-Bert

Christian Slaterkin
kiwifarms.net
Fatty's getting angry! And he's porned his computer into breaking!!

Lucas has decided we're either Courtney love or Oscar the grouch.

The scientist has a great range of pop cultural references, huh?

Edit: Lucas mentions Walter fates dollar sign faux pas again....its all the hobo pedophile has, so let's give the baby his bottle. Yes Lucas, Walter made a mistake. You've made thousands, not least of which is your moronic uneducated pronunciation of misogyny, but I'm sure your insane brain can ignore that.

Also: Lucas has been name dropping a scientist named Dan Eisenberg, suggesting that Mr. E here will prove Lucas's pedophile "research".

Hmmm....Anyone know about this guy? I'd love to see a repeat of that scientist who told Lucas on twitter to stop using his name to try and get hobo microdick wet.
 
Last edited:

Man vs persistent rat

A good egg is a nice person
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'll take the hit to synopsise the first 10 mins of that 33 min video, but after that I'm out, any other suffering soul is welcome to pick it up.

1, Lucas didn't realise a guy called "Reinhardt" was from a German-speaking country.
2. Lucas shows off that he washed not once, but twice today! He walked so much, I have no idea how he is so fat! :stress:
3. Lucas is astonished that a scientist would not lie about their findings to alter it to their own self-interest, as that is all Lucas himself does.
4. The way he struggles to articulate his sentences, then rattles out the phrase "18-24 year old" like a machine gun is eerie.
5. Fantasies about dating students as a professor because "you can date anyone you want, 'cause you're a grown up'" Mushbrained Lucas reveals several things here - a) that he has a childrens mentality about "grown ups" and what they do, b) that he views people you have authority and power over as sexual prey, c) our Lawful Evil bum is careful to add "as long as they're not taking your class at the time" because we know how fixated he is on the letter of the law, just as he would be if the age of consent was 12 (he peers at the camera knowingly as he says this, which is quite unpleasant). He's apparently looked a lot into student-teacher relations, as he goes on a lot about this 'technicality'.
6. Excited that the scientist behind the telomere study is now old enough to have the long worms in his sperms.
7. An absolutely unhinged piece of head canon where Lucas says he's seen the researcher and that he blushes a lot because he realises he's now in the Cute Older Telomere Daddy category and all girls will want him.
8. Lucas admits creeping reviews of this teacher to learn more about his personality :suffering: Horrifyingly, Lucas identifies himself with the academic, and compares his negative reviews as a teacher to Lucas's "trolls".
9. Lucas claims this scientist will win the Nobel prize, this says a bit about his delusional view of the world.
10. Lucas shows off that he's broad-minded and will read even posts by Republicans(!). Hypocritically says that their posts are all about "who hates who and why", coming from Lucas whose views on women and revenge are both distinctly Old Testament.
11. "Republicans are fuckin' stooooopid!" :jacefedora:
12. Lucas offers one of his increasingly rare defences of homosexuals. His woke signalling is usually around anti-racism because it's the laziest way to larp as antifa.
13. Complains about his computer breaking.
14. Once again crows over having two showers today, lets slip "...because I skipped two days and drank", which confirms that he did binge the entire bottle in two days, and was unwashed during that entire time. This is the 'man' who cries with rage when people call him a greaseball.
15. "I had a meh feeling, drink that bottle o' brandy, 'cause none of these women want to date me". If Lucas had talent, he's almost written a country song here. Adds "...for no Goddamn reason whatsoever" :story: "I don't know a 21 year old chick wouldn't want to date me, there's all these guys out there who are dumber than me, look like me, are way more misogynistic and arrogant" :story: :story: :story:
16. "I've been running downtown a lot, what do you expect from downtown area than a bunch of morons" S-e-l-f-a-w-a-r-e-n-e-s-s
17. "Especially among the poor- *poorly educated* ...assholes... that need a better education... including the women" S-e-l-f-a-w-a-r-e-n-e-s-s
18. People who dislike Lucas's videos are boring. "It's always older men that are pissed off their time has come and gone" (Like Lucas), "or it's younger women who will miss out on the younger dudes if this research gets out there", wait does this confirm that the breeding will be forced? As why else would the women be angry at not having access to "younger dudes". "Or they're like jealous younger guys", Lucas proceeds to give selfless advice to younger viewers that one day they will be as desirable to women as he is. He takes delight in saying the women they will gain access to "aren't even born yet". If you're thinking about your sex partners from the womb up, you're a pedophile, Lucas. This isn't the only reason why you're a pedophile, but one of many.

Edit: he continues his academic-posting, by reading another article here (I am all worn out of Lucas today, so can't comment on its content):


I wonder when he will read this article on stream:

Archive
 
Last edited:

GleamingTheQ-Bert

Christian Slaterkin
kiwifarms.net
I'll take the hit to synopsise the first 10 mins of that 33 min video, but after that I'm out, any other suffering soul is welcome to pick it up.

1, Lucas didn't realise a guy called "Reinhardt" was from a German-speaking country.
2. Lucas shows off that he washed not once, but twice today! He walked so much, I have no idea how he is so fat! :stress:
3. Lucas is astonished that a scientist would not lie about their findings to alter it to their own self-interest, as that is all Lucas himself does.
4. The way he struggles to articulate his sentences, then rattles out the phrase "18-24 year old" like a machine gun is eerie.
5. Fantasies about dating students as a professor because "you can date anyone you want, 'cause you're a grown up'" Mushbrained Lucas reveals several things here - a) that he has a childrens mentality about "grown ups" and what they do, b) that he views people you have authority and power over as sexual prey, c) our Lawful Evil bum is careful to add "as long as they're not taking your class at the time" because we know how fixated he is on the letter of the law, just as he would be if the age of consent was 12 (he peers at the camera knowingly as he says this, which is quite unpleasant). He's apparently looked a lot into student-teacher relations, as he goes on a lot about this 'technicality'.
6. Excited that the scientist behind the telomere study is now old enough to have the long worms in his sperms.
7. An absolutely unhinged piece of head canon where Lucas says he's seen the researcher and that he blushes a lot because he realises he's now in the Cute Older Telomere Daddy category and all girls will want him.
8. Lucas admits creeping reviews of this teacher to learn more about his personality :suffering: Horrifyingly, Lucas identifies himself with the academic, and compares his negative reviews as a teacher to Lucas's "trolls".
9. Lucas claims this scientist will win the Nobel prize, this says a bit about his delusional view of the world.
10. Lucas shows off that he's broad-minded and will read even posts by Republicans(!). Hypocritically says that their posts are all about "who hates who and why", coming from Lucas whose views on women and revenge are both distinctly Old Testament.
11. "Republicans are fuckin' stooooopid!" :jacefedora:
12. Lucas offers one of his increasingly rare defences of homosexuals. His woke signalling is usually around anti-racism because it's the laziest way to larp as antifa.
13. Complains about his computer breaking.
14. Once again crows over having two showers today, lets slip "...because I skipped two days and drank", which confirms that he did binge the entire bottle in two days, and was unwashed during that entire time. This is the 'man' who cries with rage when people call him a greaseball.
15. "I had a meh feeling, drink that bottle o' brandy, 'cause none of these women want to date me". If Lucas had talent, he's almost written a country song here. Adds "...for no Goddamn reason whatsoever" :story: "I don't know a 21 year old chick wouldn't want to date me, there's all these guys out there who are dumber than me, look like me, are way more misogynistic and arrogant" :story: :story: :story:
16. "I've been running downtown a lot, what do you expect from downtown area than a bunch of morons" S-e-l-f-a-w-a-r-e-n-e-s-s
17. "Especially among the poor- *poorly educated* ...assholes... that need a better education... including the women" S-e-l-f-a-w-a-r-e-n-e-s-s
18. People who dislike Lucas's videos are boring. "It's always older men that are pissed off their time has come and gone" (Like Lucas), "or it's younger women who will miss out on the younger dudes if this research gets out there", wait does this confirm that the breeding will be forced? As why else would the women be angry at not having access to "younger dudes". "Or they're like jealous younger guys", Lucas proceeds to give selfless advice to younger viewers that one day they will be as desirable to women as he is. He takes delight in saying the women they will gain access to "aren't even born yet". If you're thinking about your sex partners from the womb up, you're a pedophile, Lucas. This isn't the only reason why you're a pedophile, but one of many.

Edit: he continues his academic-posting, by reading another article here (I am all worn out of Lucas today, so can't comment on its content):


I wonder when he will read this article on stream:

Archive
I also noticed the poor \ poorly Freudian slip. Lucas hates the poor, but th a t doesn't work with his socialist pose.
 

TalmudSperg

New Zealander & Agriculturalist
kiwifarms.net
Fatty's getting angry! And he's porned his computer into breaking!

You mean brain, Right, Q-Bert?
Lucas probably watches so much deviant and deprived porn that he has conditioned himself into being unable to orgasm with a adult woman and anything resembling vanilla sex. (Not that he has to worry about that)


"To two million, only about four hundred Thousand of those eggs remain at the start of menstruation which occurs at age..... Twelve.... *looks around... With each period Several hundred eggs are lost*"

Lucas pauses for a bit right before he says "twelve" and longer right after.
 
Last edited:

AmpleApricots

kiwifarms.net
I find it really interesting how all out in the open it is with Lucas. He's got an absolute one-track mind and there's absolutely no hidden aspect about his personality. You can predict how he'd act in any situation down to a T.

I can only ever take really small doses of Lucas because the dude seriously grosses me out (not only his body, his mind too) and it's all the same anways (see: one-track mind) but in a way the freakshow is fascinating with how clearly it all is out in the open.
 

AbraCadaver

JAPES OF ALL KINDS!!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I find it really interesting how all out in the open it is with Lucas. He's got an absolute one-track mind and there's absolutely no hidden aspect about his personality. You can predict how he'd act in any situation down to a T.

I can only ever take really small doses of Lucas because the dude seriously grosses me out (not only his body, his mind too) and it's all the same anways (see: one-track mind) but in a way the freakshow is fascinating with how clearly it all is out in the open.
He really is just a base animal with lizard-brain motivations. He has no guile or higher-intelligence cunning.

he sets out food to catch mates and tries to advertise his breeding capabilities, for fuck’s sake.
 

Krathnami

My semen cures cancer and still nobody wants it
kiwifarms.net
He really is just a base animal with lizard-brain motivations. He has no guile or higher-intelligence cunning.

he sets out food to catch mates and tries to advertise his breeding capabilities, for fuck’s sake.
In addition to that, in spite of all the “academic” and “intellectual” posturing, he’s really, really dumb. Every time he misuses a three syllable word I’m reminded of how aggressively stupid he is. It wouldn’t shock me at all to find out he was a sped kid when he was younger.
 

3119967d0c

"a brain" - @REGENDarySumanai
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'll take the hit to synopsise the first 10 mins of that 33 min video, but after that I'm out, any other suffering soul is welcome to pick it up.
This man just blows me away.

I have no real interest in life sciences, but while there certainly is a link between shorter male telomeres and infertility, sperm count also decreases with age and being a colossal fat fuck like Lucas, so I'm sure even if there was an increase in telomere length with age then it wouldn't cancel the impact on male fertility from that, especially for Lucas.

There is no reason to actually believe that occurs however! Lucas's beloved Dr. Reinhard Stindl refutes this. From the abstract of a 2016 article:
Longer telomeres in the somatic cells of an individual have been regarded as a marker of youth and biological fitness within a population. Yet, several research groups have reported the surprising findings of longer telomeres in the germ cells of older men, which translated into longer leukocyte telomere length in their offspring. Although all these studies were purely cross-sectional, a longitudinal trend in the aging testes of individual males was taken for granted.
Probably the 'Occam's razor' rational conclusion at the time, though I would be interested to see what explanations they proposed for this effect to occur.

Recently, a high-profile study reported a negative birth-cohort effect on leukocyte mean telomere length in human populations, namely the progressive loss of telomeric sequence between healthy human generations. This is what I based my theory of telomere-driven macroevolution on, 12 years ago. On the basis of published data on telomere length inheritance, I identified the source of human intergenerational telomere erosion in the female germline. Accordingly, because of the resulting birth-cohort effect, there is no need for any paradoxical telomere lengthening in older men’s gonads to interpret the old-father-long-telomered-offspring data.
This is where it gets interesting, and where Lucas is BTFO. Basically, older males might have longer telomeres, but if Stindl's theory holds true, this is due to them having been born to a population of females with younger parental ages.

So:
  • women wanting that good long telomere dicking down should find an older man than Lucas who actually takes care of himself and keeps his sperm levels up.
  • this may not actually effect the health of their children- Stindl seems to believe that the female germ cell's telomeres have more effect than the male's, but I may be reading that wrong
I really wish there was better data on this out there, longitudinal studies of the telomere length of individual males over time etc, because it's actually quite interesting.

Also, lol @ Lucas saying he's in a chat group with Jared fucking Diamond of 'Guns, Germs, and Steel' fame around the 5-7 minute mark. That guy is a bit of a jackass but he doesn't deserve Lucas.
 
Last edited:

TalmudSperg

New Zealander & Agriculturalist
kiwifarms.net
Also, lol @ Lucas saying he's in a chat group with Jared fucking Diamond of 'Guns, Germs, and Steel' fame around the 5-7 minute mark. That guy is a bit of a jackass but he doesn't deserve Lucas.


I really enjoyed the rise and fall of the third chimpanzee.
 
  • Like
Reactions: 3119967d0c

GleamingTheQ-Bert

Christian Slaterkin
kiwifarms.net

At 13:55 Lucas won't carry around a binder listing his telomeric attributes, (long in sperm cuz perfect daddy, short in hippocampus cuz retreaded) because that won't convince anyone to date him...

....that would just make him look weird.

(Q-berts sides have officially left the building)


Lucas says he has a mole in kiwi farms to send him the things we Photoshop. He doesn't explain why He would NEED a mole to read a public thread, but he does mention Walter's dollar sign again. We troll him because we're jealous of his long telomeres. His generation is "the honey spot". When he walks past they call him "daddy". (Raises eyebrows and bites lower lip significantly. Try not to vomit, fam)

Hey Lucas, if you're such a natural aphrodisiac to all the young honeys, why you always be beggin' for sex?

He says him being banned from his own thread is because we can't win arguments with him any other way.

He seems to have forgotten how he was ACTUALLY thread banned, when he spammed the thread with some choice cuts from his large and varied personal collection of gay porn. Keep that stuff for yourself on those long, cold nights, Daddy!

He says we want him to commit suicide.

Let me say this clearly, Lucas: Please don't kill yourself. You're so much fun to point and laugh at; don't deprive us of that! We're just interested in your stand-up comedy career! We're your fans, broseph!
 
Last edited:

AnOminous

shalom motherfucker
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net

At 13:55 Lucas won't carry around a binder listing his telomeric attributes, (long in sperm cuz perfect daddy, short in hippocampus cuz retreaded) because that won't convince anyone to date him...

....that would just make him look weird.

(Q-berts sides have officially left the building)

He isn't a fucking beetle.
 

Fatal Walter

kiwifarms.net
Wow, I was doing the dollar sign thing because he has complained about it in the past. I had no idea it would make me look so stupid he had to make a video about it and mention it in several others. If anyone wants to know how to annoy Lucas, there you go. We know he's not worried about dislikes because he keeps making videos about how he totally doesn't care.
 

GleamingTheQ-Bert

Christian Slaterkin
kiwifarms.net

Lucas "cleaned his room". He kicked all the floor trash into the corners.

The grease spot of Fail behind his pillow remains as large and dirty as ever.

Well done, Mucous!

Note: Instead of cleaning his apartment, Lucas makes videos bragging about how he's cleaned his apartment.

He brags about: Showering. Cleaning room. Buying booze.

I'd say he's mentally the age of a teen, but most teens are less impressed by showering; they've learned to take it for granted.

Lucas wants praise for wiping his butt.

Lucas? You still stink. Take a day off the interwebs and scrub your body and room with bleach.
 
Last edited:

mothman96

kiwifarms.net

Lucas "cleaned his room". He kicked all the floor trash into the corners.

The grease spot of Fail behind his pillow remains as large and dirty as ever.

Well done, Mucous!

Note: Instead of cleaning his apartment, Lucas makes videos bragging about how he's cleaned his apartment.

He brags about: Showering. Cleaning room. Buying booze.

I'd say he's mentally the age of a teen, but most teens are less impressed by showering; they've learned to take it for granted.

Lucas wants praise for wiping his butt.

Lucas? You still stink. Take a day off the interwebs and scrub your body and room with bleach.
And what didn't fit in the corners he likely shoved under the bed.

Lucas, you were placed at Pioneer Pathway, because that's exactly where you belong. In a small room fit for you.
 
Last edited:

Similar threads

Q
Divorced Batshit Space Demon Waitress with NPD, Gangstalked by Alphabet Agencies, "Pretending to be Rеtarded", #SaveJoelIrish
Replies
4K
Views
289K
Pedophile/pedo apologist and tulpamancer who gets into fictional relationships with a Spyro boss, goblins, and Pokemon, all while shipping herself. Decade reigning cow. TRUE AND HONEST Twin soul sister of OPL.
Replies
7K
Views
1M
Swift-Obsessed Sex Pest, Magical Star Buddy, Now On Probation for E-Stalking
Replies
50K
Views
9M