Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial chicks

WonderWino

kiwifarms.net
“I’m tryna fuck”

ETA second photo because it’s too good not to share
Oh ffs he actually said m'ladies. and I have no doubt his penis is going to fall off sooner or later, but not from lack of use, it'll be because it rotted off from the beetus

AbraCadaver said:
Lucas....is like if you had a Chatbot where the only input it ever got was from rapists and incels.
So.... lucas is tay if only ever exposed to reddit and a federal prison then? Sounds about right
 

klickitat

kiwifarms.net
Seriously. I've seen pictures of it posted here. If he did in fact see some teenage girls copying him, they were likely mocking him.
I don't think he grasps the concept of someone not from KF mocking him. He seems to think obvious posts or comments clearly (to anyone with a working brain) making fun of him are somehow agreeing with him or are flirtatious.

Given his notoriety in general, I do believe that young women smile at him or walk up to chat with him before "Mr. Steal Your Chick" rolls up because they're mocking/trolling/whatever you want to call it him and the whole thing is planned just to see if he posts about it on Facebook, Instagram, or Youtube.
 

WonderWino

kiwifarms.net
Lucas doesn’t know what a CD player is, only that his phone is smart. Also he kinda makes a bomb threat if I’m reading it right, but I’ll leave you all to your own interpretations.
Reminds me of the time he confused sending letter bombing a la that old star trek letter writing campaign back in the day and mail bombs and told a bunch of people to send in mail bombs, even after being told what the difference was. He absolutely does not listen to literally anything people tell him

He really shouldn't be making those kinds of 'jokes' given his history, let alone his recent behavior

Also I wouldn't be surprised if he legitimately doesn't know what a cd player is. I doubt he ever actually had one seeing as he never had any money by his own admission. and since when does he have a phone of any kind? Used to be he borrowed them and ended up getting in shit over some stuff he did with them and used some ancient shitty kindle
 
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Rescuetoast

thrillho
kiwifarms.net
Reminds me of the time he confused sending letter bombing a la that old star trek letter writing campaign back in the day and mail bombs and told a bunch of people to send in mail bombs, even after being told what the difference was. He absolutely does not listen to literally anything people tell him

He really shouldn't be making those kinds of 'jokes' given his history, let alone his recent behavior

Also I wouldn't be surprised if he legitimately doesn't know what a cd player is. I doubt he ever actually had one seeing as he never had any money by his own admission. and since when does he have a phone of any kind? Used to be he borrowed them and ended up getting in shit over some stuff he did with them and used some ancient shitty kindle
He has an Obama phone now.
 

BowlOfDick

I can resist anything but temptation
kiwifarms.net
“I’m tryna fuck”

ETA second photo because it’s too good not to share
It’s laughable that he calls his little wiener a ‘rod’. Luke... I’ve seen the picture. You have a literal micropenis. Combined with your rotund belly, you won’t even achieve penetration should you ever capture a sexual partner.
 

WonderWino

kiwifarms.net
It’s laughable that he calls his little wiener a ‘rod’. Luke... I’ve seen the picture. You have a literal micropenis. Combined with your rotund belly, you won’t even achieve penetration should you ever capture a sexual partner.
The funny thing is he knows that on some level, which is why he goes on and on about fisting and how all the tweens supposedly want it
 
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Rogowski

one tree per nerd
kiwifarms.net
How hard do you think he had to fight the urge to call him a nigga?
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“I don’t understand this meme (bullshit) but I’m offended”

The bottom of the meme is cut off but it says “no job” and “job” under the 2 pictures.
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Don’t call women bitches while I simplify their existence to “some pussy”
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iM bEInG CocKBloCkEd bY dRuMpFt SUppORtErs!!!11
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Why Lucas wants a GF
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Stoat

Spirit of the Weasel
kiwifarms.net
How hard do you think he had to fight the urge to call him a nigga?
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“I don’t understand this meme (bullshit) but I’m offended”

The bottom of the meme is cut off but it says “no job” and “job” under the 2 pictures.
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Don’t call women bitches while I simplify their existence to “some pussy”
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iM bEInG CocKBloCkEd bY dRuMpFt SUppORtErs!!!11
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Why Lucas wants a GF
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Why the fuck is one of his examples of dumb questions involve a 4 year old saying his favorite word (daddy) and asking why the sky is blue? He couldn't have used a less creepy example? Oops, sorry, that was a dumb question.
 

Bassomatic

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Why the fuck is one of his examples of dumb questions involve a 4 year old saying his favorite word (daddy) and asking why the sky is blue? He couldn't have used a less creepy example? Oops, sorry, that was a dumb question.
I think what even is funnier than his only examples lean and show his pedophilia, is he still didn't reply to something so fucking simple. Even Lucas doesn't have a lie to cook up why he wants a girl friend.

Wanting a S/O can be for dozens of healthy or unhealthy reasons, he says he likes bernie because he's straight to the point. Yet Lucas can't even explain wanting to share his life with someone because his lizard brain is so wired of hurting a child for his sexual thrill.

While this is a forgettable, boring Lucas sperg post, it really to me hammers home how broken this dude's brain is.

If you were to ask Lucas would you like to win the Lotto? What would you do with 600 million dollars. He is so god damn stupid and horny with the tiny shred of awareness his pedo urges are social taboo this dumb fuck couldn't tell you I'd go see Spain, I'd buy a Ferrari, etc. He'd just go DUH CAUSE I WANTA WINZ. All while thinking he'd be a fatter Epistein with even younger girls, and less friends... also our boy Jeff had the end of his life, with a roof over him, something Lucas probably won't as he freezes to death on a spokane park bench.
 

Nobleman

kiwifarms.net
I can also vouch that he is back to the hands behind his back walk. Two nights ago I saw him walking past the downtown Wells Fargo building like that, making a weird jerking motion with his head like a fish does while swimming. I was headed to the bar and wanted to get a video when he went under the railroad bridge but he was too far ahead for me to get good footage. I could have posted it on Youtube as "The Telemeric beast prowls the night...".

Anyways, back to the girlfriend. What exactly would he and this girlfriend do all day, everyday. He only can afford to go out to eat once per month, what about the other 29 days. Does he really just think a woman will want to stay in a cramped up room with him and have sex and have a stuffed EBT-filled refrigerator and get fat together?
 

Rescuetoast

thrillho
kiwifarms.net
I can also vouch that he is back to the hands behind his back walk. Two nights ago I saw him walking past the downtown Wells Fargo building like that, making a weird jerking motion with his head like a fish does while swimming. I was headed to the bar and wanted to get a video when he went under the railroad bridge but he was too far ahead for me to get good footage. I could have posted it on Youtube as "The Telemeric beast prowls the night...".

Anyways, back to the girlfriend. What exactly would he and this girlfriend do all day, everyday. He only can afford to go out to eat once per month, what about the other 29 days. Does he really just think a woman will want to stay in a cramped up room with him and have sex and have a stuffed EBT-filled refrigerator and get fat together?
Obviously they’d just chicken walk around downtown and look at bars wistfully together.
 

Rogowski

one tree per nerd
kiwifarms.net
What exactly would he and this girlfriend do all day, everyday. He only can afford to go out to eat once per month, what about the other 29 days. Does he really just think a woman will want to stay in a cramped up room with him and have sex and have a stuffed EBT-filled refrigerator and get fat together?
You're forgetting that he also believes the reason his Patreon is failing so hard is because he doesn't have a girlfriend to make videos. It's interesting to imagine the kind of content he'd make with a girlfriend that he thinks would be in demand for the general public.
 

Da Dude123

kiwifarms.net
It is kind of mind boggling how Lucas can afford to eat out as much as he does. It seems like more than the average person who actually works does. It sounds like he mostly pisses away his tugboat on restaurant meals for one, then goes to homeless shelters until his "first of da month" check arrives and then back to Red Robin and Sushi.com. Although, some of that last year was from student loan money that will never ever be paid back.

I suspect Lucas is still eating out considering how fat he looks, unless he's just buying 100 bags of chips per month. Going on EBT actually helped me to lose weight.