Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial chicks

wenttobermuda

Yeets the NEET a bae
kiwifarms.net
Let's play a game. There's no prize.

Who said the following:

Basically I want a woman that will mother me but be okay with calling me daddy. I want a daughter dom to take care of me & to let me take care of her like my pet.
Surprisingly, not Lucas Werner, but James Terry Mitchell.

Nonetheless, the quote bears an uncanny similarity to the relationship that Lucas is fixated on: a breeder zoomer bae that will support him (financially and otherwise), call him daddy, and do everything he says. Especially things that involve gaping assholes.

Both cows lust for a daughter/mother/sex slave figure. Sort of a DDLG with a sligo different power dynamic. Perhaps scrutinizing their similarities could shed some light on the development of this desire. Use another cow to illustrate something about Lucas.

I know little of Mitchell, though, other than that he's a fat pedo. But he strikes me as another failed, socially excluded autistic loser.

What other cows could be used to illuminate Lucas's behavior? Russell Greer? Nick Bate?
 
Let's play a game. There's no prize.

Who said the following:



Surprisingly, not Lucas Werner, but James Terry Mitchell.

Nonetheless, the quote bears an uncanny similarity to the relationship that Lucas is fixated on: a breeder zoomer bae that will support him (financially and otherwise), call him daddy, and do everything he says. Especially things that involve gaping assholes.

Both cows lust for a daughter/mother/sex slave figure. Sort of a DDLG with a sligo different power dynamic. Perhaps scrutinizing their similarities could shed some light on the development of this desire. Use another cow to illustrate something about Lucas.

I know little of Mitchell, though, other than that he's a fat pedo. But he strikes me as another failed, socially excluded autistic loser.

What other cows could be used to illuminate Lucas's behavior? Russell Greer? Nick Bate?
I see a few similarities between the Wern and Rusty. Both of them are the very embodiment of walking straight into a wall without bothering to notice the door to their left.
 

Nobleman

kiwifarms.net
Last Lucas post was on the 9th.

18 days ago.

When does he get his govt cheese, the first week of August?
From his history, it’s seems his payee delays his payment since all SSDI (EDIT: Sorry, I meant SSI, we all know Lucas never worked for SSDI) recipients get their checks around the first, but Lucas get his money around the eleventh. This is typical of payees to allow their cows to try to budget their money better which of course they don’t. Who knows, his payee may have frozen his money due to behavior, we have a trannie at one of our other facilities who is howling due to his/her payee freezing their pay.

I still also think the payee is not givingLucas the full amount and saving it in the desperate hopes they might be able to pay off some apartment complex to take him for a large sum.

On another note, it appears another round of Trump bux is coming through, so we will probably see Lucas splerg through that and hopefully get a new phone to record it all for our entertainment.
 
Last edited:

darkwingosonichugorl

Let me tell you the potential of my balls.
kiwifarms.net
I assume Lucas is on SSI, not SSDI. You need either significant work history or some plan like Bob Chandler left for Chris, and I don't think Lucas' parents did that. And if he was on SSDI, he'd be getting more money to the point where there's no excuse for him to be homeless. Even with SSI, I'm surprised a payee is putting up with it for this long.
 

WonderWino

kiwifarms.net
I see a few similarities between the Wern and Rusty. Both of them are the very embodiment of walking straight into a wall without bothering to notice the door to their left.
....I can't be the only one who read that and horrifying images of lucas going full dale gribble and changing his name to rusty wernerford ty try to reinvent himself as non creepy

Then again lucas is too stupid to reinvent himself as anything. The average T-800 has more self awareness than he does

That said I wouldn't be surprised to find out the payee was holding back funds for something like an apartment to stick him in. Not that it would do him any good
 

klickitat

kiwifarms.net
If Lucas was an animal, what would he be?
He'd be one of those "alpha males" from that one baboon colony that decided they'd had enough of aggressive asshole male baboons and either ran them out or killed them.
I assume Lucas is on SSI, not SSDI. You need either significant work history or some plan like Bob Chandler left for Chris, and I don't think Lucas' parents did that. And if he was on SSDI, he'd be getting more money to the point where there's no excuse for him to be homeless. Even with SSI, I'm surprised a payee is putting up with it for this long.
He's said before he's on SSDI.

He's got a handler that takes care of the money to make sure his bills get paid, then he's given what's left.

Not sure if that's still a thing now that he's homeless.

Being put on a no rent list by the last place that kicked him out probably means even with getting SSDI and having an EBT card he won't find anything he can afford in Spokane.
 

Dusk

Russ Greer is too ugly for Commander Shepard
kiwifarms.net
Lucas's recent screaming fits were dandy, but not enough. They've only whetted my apparently limitless appetite for sputtering incel rage.

Given his agitated delivery, it's easy to focus on the frothing and neglect the content of Lucas's rants. It's better, though, to laugh at both Lucas's mad cries, and his ideas. Without taking Lucas seriously, these are the things he wanted to share:

Misogyny exists because women worship money and "won't date outside their economic class." Men teach women to not date outside their economic class. This is the equivalent of systemic racism.

Women are a resource to be distributed.
Lucas hates greedy men with multiple girlfriends, who are communist in name only in their refusal to share poonaner, and keep women from dating outside their economic class.

It is hypocritical for avowed communists to withhold women from Lucas. It is logically inconsistent to be opposed to bigotry, and not date Lucas.

Lucas need only "smile and say hi" and then he'll have his girl.

If you call women "bitches and thots" Lucas will force you to shut your mouth.

Bigots know where the girls are at, and must provide this information.

Flatbill hats get clones laid!
Lucas seems to be addressing a very specific audience. This is a message for so called commmunists, both men and women, who stymie his poonaner quest.

They are the reason he hasn't found a teen for breeding and anal torture.

In Lucas's mind, there must be a group of greedy flat bills who control access to poonaner. They present themselves as communists, but they are not. They use money ans professed communist ideals to horde all the poonaner. Lucas doesn't blame the women: it's all the flat bill clone's fault.

Lucas hates these men. Passionately. They haunt him.

Does Lucas's characterization of his flat bill foes resemble any group of men, living or dead? Of fourse not. But you can tell a lot from someone's enemies. These are the men that Lucas sees as his rivals.

The competition for poonaner that has beaten him out.

One must wonder what lead him to these conclusions. Is this the hand of Lacie and Da Pussy God? Are there specific people from his past, like Cyril, whose ghost he see everywhere?
This begs the question: are women who engage in relationships with multiple men or have many partners socialist heroines, distributing their capital freely? Of fucking course not. If we accept his crazy fucking idea that women are commodities/property, under a Communist system, private property is considered theft. He'd never allow his partner to sleep with, date, hell, even look at anyone else. He just wants a sex slave. That's literally it. His manipulation of politics is so transparent that I'm actually a little heated that he thinks we're stupid enough to buy what he's selling us. I know women are supposed to be bad with numbers, Lucas, but I don't think "2 inches" is enough algebra to overload our fragile ladybrains.

Seconded. Tonnes of men out there still somehow believe what they see in porn as fact: that women love to be violently jackhammered into a mattress and that orgasm only happens with penetration.

Lucas probably thinks the clitoris is inside the vagina or something equally idiotic. I mean he thinks a cabal of flatbills are corraling young women into secret clubs and house parties like livestock, in order to hoard breeding opportunities. You really need think he understands anatomy?
I had a guy inform me once that you can tell if a woman is a slut by how loose her clit is. If Lucas is confused, he's not alone. However, unlike most guileless teenage boys, he will never be able to learn from experience.
 
Last edited:

Stafford Beer Bong

Jubee Flumper Pumpin’
kiwifarms.net
Then again lucas is too stupid to reinvent himself as anything. The average T-800 has more self awareness than he does.
You’re right about his self awareness. Reinventing himself would require recognizing there is something wrong with him in the first place. And we know Wern finds no fault in himself. It’s the world “out there“ that has conspired against him.
 

Da Dude123

Love and respect those bitches
kiwifarms.net
Absolutely! Lucas Werner is plenty good! It's the bigots, the flatbills, and the cock blocks that need to change! Just tell Lucas where the women and the parties are! They're bitches and thots? They're bitches and thots? Shut your bigot mouth!


You’re right about his self awareness. Reinventing himself would require recognizing there is something wrong with him in the first place. And we know Wern finds no fault in himself. It’s the world “out there“ that has conspired against him.
 

AbraCadaver

Mental health awareness, depression, giant shrimp.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Let's play a game. There's no prize.

Who said the following:



Surprisingly, not Lucas Werner, but James Terry Mitchell.

Nonetheless, the quote bears an uncanny similarity to the relationship that Lucas is fixated on: a breeder zoomer bae that will support him (financially and otherwise), call him daddy, and do everything he says. Especially things that involve gaping assholes.

Both cows lust for a daughter/mother/sex slave figure. Sort of a DDLG with a sligo different power dynamic. Perhaps scrutinizing their similarities could shed some light on the development of this desire. Use another cow to illustrate something about Lucas.

I know little of Mitchell, though, other than that he's a fat pedo. But he strikes me as another failed, socially excluded autistic loser.

What other cows could be used to illuminate Lucas's behavior? Russell Greer? Nick Bate?
“I want to be respected and admired as a strong man, but coddled and supported like a fat baby with no responsibilities.”

Definitely sounds like Werner. Perfectly imitates his longed-for ideal childhood too...mummy telling her fat little boy he’s the handsomest, smartest little man and so grown-up, and a daughter-aged “pretty, smart, interesting girl” who will have sex with him and take the lead because he doesn’t know how to please her or what to do.

I had a guy inform me once that you can tell if a woman is a slut by how loose her clit is. If Lucas is confused, he's not alone. However, unlike most guileless teenage boys, he will never be able to learn from experience.
Okay but I fucking LAUGHED at that. Loose how? How do I know if my clit is loose? Is it like a tiny loose screw in a remote control, and when I shake my hips you can hear it rattling around in there?
 
Last edited:

wenttobermuda

Yeets the NEET a bae
kiwifarms.net
This begs the question: are women who engage in relationships with multiple men or have many partners socialist heroines, distributing their capital freely? Of fucking course not.
Lucas thinks "female sexual capital" (poon access otherwise known as "agency" or "consent") is distributed to men by other men. Or at least it should be, but it's horde'd [sic] by men who have an obligation to share it and don't. Greed mongers!

The dynamic in action: Lucas accuses a supposed friend of calling him "gay" and otherwise talking shit about him in a conscious ploy to woo women and exclude Lucas from mating opportunities. This is how poon is distributed : "Lucas is a gay lol" vs "Girl, let my friend Lucas hit that." Women have nothing to do with this distribution.

I maintain that this shows Lucas isn't trying to seduce baes, so much as he's competing against other males. They're the true target of his poon hunt, even if he doesn't intend to fist their assholes and blow schizo loads in them.


What if Lucas won the Powerball?
He'd be immediately robbed and brutalized by a younger dominant male with a functional penis.
A failed male can't hold gold. Alphas don't trust them with it. Lucas would never have a chance to waste his winnings on joints, junk food, and board games, let a lone the time to woo baes with it.

Within hours of collecting his winnings, a silverback flatbill would call Lucas "gay" and then soundly club him and sieze his wealth. Then, to further demonstrate his dominance, he'd do sadistic butt stuff to Lucas, only stopping when Lucas gave a primate fear grimace and showed his belly in submission.

Lucas may attempt to go to the police, but they'd tell him "Shut the fuck up faggot."

As Lucas fumed on IG, the silverback flatbill would use Lucas's former wealth for elaborate courtship displays: driving a car, holding a credit card. He'd eat gourmet meals and impregnate a harem of zoomer baes who can't resist the filthy lucre.
 

WonderWino

kiwifarms.net
So, if lucas was in a fallout game as a vault resident which horrifying vault tec experiment do you think they would put him through:

1. Make lucas the sole occupant of a vault with nothing but tiny meals composed of health food and a box of gay porn for entertainment to see how long it takes for a mental patient to go completely insane

2. Place lucas as the sole single male in a vault where all the other residents are flatbills and 40 year old greybeards with tween wives that have kids. None of which want anything to do with him and all have nightly parties where he is the only resident not invited and they all play board games, to see how long it takes for lucas to raid the armory and go postal on everyone

Bonus points for making dan campbell or cyril the overseer of said vault

3. Place lucas in a vault used for medical experiments on defectives and mental patients. In his case, have his brain extracted and put into a a glass jar, where his entire existence becomes limited to being forced to watch reruns of wheel of fortune with the occasional gay porn thrown in to infuriate him
 

klickitat

kiwifarms.net
Are there better ways I could spend $14?

Absolutely.

Would any of them make me snicker as much as another Facebook ad targeted at people between 16-24 in Spokane, Washington who are single and interested in dating?

Round 1 was only $10 as I only ran it 5 days.

Decided to go with 7 days this time just because the picture I used is so much funnier. I cannot believe Facebook approved this within 10 minutes of me submitting it as an ad to run both on FB and on IG.

Kinda sad Lucas isn't around to see it and start screaming about me being a flatbill hater republican cockblocker.
 

AbraCadaver

Mental health awareness, depression, giant shrimp.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So, if lucas was in a fallout game as a vault resident which horrifying vault tec experiment do you think they would put him through:

1. Make lucas the sole occupant of a vault with nothing but tiny meals composed of health food and a box of gay porn for entertainment to see how long it takes for a mental patient to go completely insane

2. Place lucas as the sole single male in a vault where all the other residents are flatbills and 40 year old greybeards with tween wives that have kids. None of which want anything to do with him and all have nightly parties where he is the only resident not invited and they all play board games, to see how long it takes for lucas to raid the armory and go postal on everyone

Bonus points for making dan campbell or cyril the overseer of said vault

3. Place lucas in a vault used for medical experiments on defectives and mental patients. In his case, have his brain extracted and put into a a glass jar, where his entire existence becomes limited to being forced to watch reruns of wheel of fortune with the occasional gay porn thrown in to infuriate him
Pretty sure he’s in a torturous experiment right now: take a man with a wish to procreate, then reduce his brainpower and social skills until he is just animal-stupid enough to never accomplish any of his dreams or live a life of human dignity, but just intelligent enough to be entirely aware of that fact. Then throw in terrifyingly disorienting schizo delusions every so often to keep him off-balance.

Hell is Lucas Werner. If you do bad things and don’t love God enough, you eventually reincarnate as Lucas Werner. Lucas Werner is not a single individual...he is a placeholder body for a growing number of imprisoned minds, feeling, experiencing and suffering through the life of Lucas Werner, Being John Malkovich-style.

Unable to control the body, unable to shut your eyes and look away.
 

boner_alert

kiwifarms.net
Have another thought experiment (apologies if this is something that's already been speculated about). Say the gods Lucas doesn't believe in decides to bestow a once in a lifetime undeserved opportunity for a young girl to make his wife. He must choose between

1. Girl 1 who is 16 years old and fertile, with a physical attractiveness of about 1-4/10

2. Girl 2 who is 19 years old and deliberately had her tubes tied because she never wants to have children. She is about a 8-10/10 in attractiveness

According to Wern Science, the choice is obvious with Girl 1. But who would LUCAS choose? We know this egocentric selfish hypocritical perv will go with Girl 2. Unfortunately the condition to have one of these girls is that he must make the argument why the girl benefits from this relationship with an offensively unhealthy, unpleasant, unattractive in every conceivable way, good for nothing homeless slob more than two decades her senior

What would Lucas' "logical" "scientific" argument be for his choice?
 

Stafford Beer Bong

Jubee Flumper Pumpin’
kiwifarms.net
Have another thought experiment (apologies if this is something that's already been speculated about). Say the gods Lucas doesn't believe in decides to bestow a once in a lifetime undeserved opportunity for a young girl to make his wife. He must choose between

1. Girl 1 who is 16 years old and fertile, with a physical attractiveness of about 1-4/10

2. Girl 2 who is 19 years old and deliberately had her tubes tied because she never wants to have children. She is about a 8-10/10 in attractiveness

According to Wern Science, the choice is obvious with Girl 1. But who would LUCAS choose? We know this egocentric selfish hypocritical perv will go with Girl 2. Unfortunately the condition to have one of these girls is that he must make the argument why the girl benefits from this relationship with an offensively unhealthy, unpleasant, unattractive in every conceivable way, good for nothing homeless slob more than two decades her senior

What would Lucas' "logical" "scientific" argument be for his choice?
Wern would take the older, more attractive woman because she has more social capital. Wern sees women as a status marker. He would want the girl that other men would want as that raises his status with other men. He would justify the “tubes tied” by saying he could eventually convince her to adopt his daughter-concubine later on.
 

boner_alert

kiwifarms.net
Wern would take the older, more attractive woman because she has more social capital. Wern sees women as a status marker. He would want the girl that other men would want as that raises his status with other men. He would justify the “tubes tied” by saying he could eventually convince her to adopt his daughter-concubine later on.
But that argument only benefits the Wern. How would it benefit the girl? He doesn't realize how obvious it is to everyone that he just wants to be fucking an underaged girl ("as young as possible allowed by law"), evident by how baffled he is that people find him creepy.. because of his oh so clever way he hid it with his current argument about young girls being the most fertile and his true and only goal is to have strong children. Also, he is the gift that keeps on giving because his degraded old man sperm has something with telomeres or whatever the fuck, which can possibly cure her cancer, mood disorders, grant her wishes, whatever the fuck he argues on his weebly

He wants Girl 2 but how will he be able to convince her that she benefits from his sweaty MRSA infested potbelly humping her whenever he's not winded from laying down to make a 47 second video
 
  • Like
Reactions: wenttobermuda