I'll tell the nearest Jehovah's Witnesses outfit that you're a militant atheist with a recluse born-again wife who only answers the door at 6 am and that she would really love to speak with them if she could only get the chance.
I once had the dubious enjoyment of reading a comment thread on a local beauty contest. While it's not really supposed to be a threat, "I'd fuck her into a wheelchair" kinda stuck with me for some reason.
And yeah. If you're not careful, I'll call your mother. Then we'll see who's laughing.
I swear by all that's holy, revenge will be mine. I'm never gonna give you up. I'm never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. I'm never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie.