Careercow Martin Shkreli - Former Pharma Exec, Criminal, Impotent Rageaholic

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Tookie

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Shows over for the next 7 years (don't know if there's any prospect of early release).
He can get like a year knocked off for good behavior. It's federal prison so he doesn't have many options other than appealing it or cutting a deal to roll over on someone else.

His best hope is if Trump pardons him for the lulz.
 

Flowers For Sonichu

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Is there video of Shkreli crying in court? I have nothing against him but I need to see that.
I want to see this as much as I want to hear the tape of Chris crying over the death of Bob.

He can get like a year knocked off for good behavior. It's federal prison so he doesn't have many options other than appealing it or cutting a deal to roll over on someone else.

His best hope is if Trump pardons him for the lulz.
He won't have good behavior, every single person in the prison will be trying to fuck with him. Including the guards. I wouldn't be surprised if they turned their backs and let someone fuck him up like what happened to Jeffrey Dahmer.
 

AnOminous

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Is there video of Shkreli crying in court? I have nothing against him but I need to see that.

One thing I'll give the guy is he doesn't cry like a little bitch (unless he stands to get some advantage out of it).

In addition to being one of the most hated people in America, he's about 5'6. He's not going to have a good time in prison.

I suspect he's actually going to do fine. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets a year or two knocked off on appeal and then gets good behavior time off. Also he's so recognizable he isn't really a flight risk. Where's he going to go? So he'll probably get into one of the nicer Club Fed low security prisons.

He's apparently done fine in the Metropolitan Detention Center, which is definitely a worse place than where he'll serve the rest of his sentence.
 

Flowers For Sonichu

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One thing I'll give the guy is he doesn't cry like a little bitch (unless he stands to get some advantage out of it).



I suspect he's actually going to do fine. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets a year or two knocked off on appeal and then gets good behavior time off. Also he's so recognizable he isn't really a flight risk. Where's he going to go? So he'll probably get into one of the nicer Club Fed low security prisons.

He's apparently done fine in the Metropolitan Detention Center, which is definitely a worse place than where he'll serve the rest of his sentence.
Do you think he will get protective custody on the grounds of being nearly universally hated? I wouldn't be surprised if some infected prisoner threw their own blood on him to give him aids.
 

AnOminous

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Do you think he will get protective custody on the grounds of being nearly universally hated? I wouldn't be surprised if some infected prisoner threw their own blood on him to give him aids.

I doubt it. All accounts of the time he's done up until now indicate he's actually done fine and people like him.

https://nypost.com/2018/02/23/martin-shkreli-got-buff-in-prison/
http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york...i-comforts-gangsters-prison-article-1.3548365
https://www.inc.com/bill-murphy-jr/...ually-like-him-there-heres-what-happened.html
http://dailycaller.com/2017/10/09/i...n-shkreli-to-become-the-leader-of-his-prison/
 

Implacable Birch

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martin shkreli is going to have a very un-intimidating, nerdy looking cellmate who is a little bit shorter than him & he's going to get nice and comfortable & make fast friends with him & everyone will be really nice to him.

then his nerdy looking cellmate is going to kick the shit out of him after the first week while everyone watches & laughs & he will be treated like an absolute bitch thereafter.
 

Cato

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Apparently I stand corrected, and I'm genuinely quite surprised.

As to what you were saying about where he would get placed, I figured he'd do okay if on a specific white collar crime unit, but I wouldn't have expected him to do well in gen pop at all. You're right that if he thrived in MDC the hardest part of his time in is probably over with.

Do you think he will get protective custody on the grounds of being nearly universally hated? I wouldn't be surprised if some infected prisoner threw their own blood on him to give him aids.

Most forms of "protective custody" are a joke anyways, honestly. PC units tend to be pretty much identical to gen pop units except all the inmates there requested PC. You still get heavies and bullies in PC who declared because they just happened to be on a gang's bad side or whatever.
 

Cato

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It's not really suprising, why would criminals be mad at him for the things he has done? It's not that much different from what they do to people. I'd say he'll fit in.

Inmates don't give one another a hard time just for what they've done, but because they are soft and/or don't fit in well in a prison environment. Given that he's a spoiled, rich manlet I would have figured that Shkreli would have possessed those qualities quite conspicuously, but apparently he's more street smart than I gave him credit for.
 

AnOminous

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Apparently I stand corrected, and I'm genuinely quite surprised.

I was too, but it appears to be true. I assumed a shit-talking manlet was going to be someone's bitch nearly immediately. Shkreli is interesting in that he's a pretty reprehensible person in a lot of ways, but he also has positive traits. Even in the Daraprim thing, which was mostly portrayed as him being an utterly inhuman monster literally murdering AIDS patients, he was actually giving it away for free to poor people, something that was almost entirely ignored by the media.

I'm not minimizing it as an incredible dick move, but he just overdid what Big Pharma does every day to a greater or lesser extent.

I could honestly see this dude having a redemption arc.
 

MirnaMinkoff

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I was too, but it appears to be true. I assumed a shit-talking manlet was going to be someone's bitch nearly immediately. Shkreli is interesting in that he's a pretty reprehensible person in a lot of ways, but he also has positive traits. Even in the Daraprim thing, which was mostly portrayed as him being an utterly inhuman monster literally murdering AIDS patients, he was actually giving it away for free to poor people, something that was almost entirely ignored by the media.

I'm not minimizing it as an incredible dick move, but he just overdid what Big Pharma does every day to a greater or lesser extent.

I could honestly see this dude having a redemption arc.

He’s a very smart dude, he just has the emotional maturity of a fourteen year old and some unmedicated mental problems.

Had he just got some therapy plus lithium and grown the fuck up a little he’d be on easy street living like all the 30-something assholes working at investment firms. His severe addiction to Attention-whoring was his downfall.
 

AnOminous

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Had he just got some therapy plus lithium and grown the fuck up a little he’d be on easy street living like all the 30-something assholes working at investment firms. His severe addiction to Attention-whoring was his downfall.

Had he done that, he might not have ended up in prison. He might have just ended up like a normal piece of shit executive. As things have gone, though, I can see him learning some lessons and maybe turning into a better person than your average piece of shit executive.
 

MirnaMinkoff

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Well, that and the lieing about losing a lot of his hedge fund investor's money.

The irony is had he been a nobody the govt would have never taken such an interest in his activities. Even if they had an average dude who bilked some investors would have copped a plea and probably done almost no jail time.

When the investors started complaining he (illegally) juggled some funds and made them whole plus more, in normal circumstances that would have meant a fine and slap on wrists. Assholes that rob 2000 senior citizens of their entire life savings in pyramid schemes don’t get the jail time Shrekli did.

His dedication to being the worlds most famous troll/asshole is the reason he got the hammer dropped on him hard by the feds.
 

Ragged Beef

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Reddit user claiming to be Shkreli's (ex)girlfriend makes an AMA post. (archive)

The Girlfriend

Her name is Lauren Hayden. According to her Linkedin she's a math & science tutor based in California (in her AMA she says she moved away from Cali to be with Martin but later got kicked out. If her AMA is to be believed she currently lives in Laguna Beach). She also claims she worked in the military as a mathematician before switching to her current job.
She has since deleted her Reddit account but there are Google Archives. Her Reddit account was brand-new and listed her real name as "Jessica", but she claims it's her "fake online name".
In the thread she makes the bold claim that her family is richer than Martin is, and hence she wasn't in for the money.
She also posted proof that she is indeed Martin's girlfriend, but the said proof is since removed. Some guy on reddit posted mirrors of the proof, but I don't know he got everything. The phone number in the screencap is legit, though she claims it was public info anyway.
proof1.jpg
proof2.jpg
proof3.jpg
She also did a similar post on /r/martinshkreli (archive)

The Thread(s)
To be honest I didn't dig much into the main content of her threads, mainly because I'm not into Shkreli as a lolcow. So everything I mention here is superficial; I read most of her posts and wrote some of them here without doing any extra digging.
Most of her replies are mundane shit; he doesn't have any kinks, has an ok-size penis, he's emotionally fragile, etc.
That being said, there are some interesting bits. Obviously take all this with a huge grain of salt; she's a gullible & abused woman who's a walking "high IQ rick and morty" meme, so she's far from a reliable narrator.
  • Martin never listened to the Wu-Tang album past the first track.
  • He proposed to her at a Tiffany's and he streamed it. After she said yes he said he was just kidding.
  • He never wanted to have sex with her despite living together.
  • He's into women with self-esteem issues & he likes to emotionally abuse them. Lauren claims a young woman might end up killing herself, as she "almost wanted to". I found this bit funny: "He'd only let me or my dog in the house certain hours of the day."
  • He's still conducting his business from prison via a stole phone. He's still "influencing market prices" and "convincing very young girls to do his bidding" (whatever that means).
  • He cheated on her with 2 underaged (17) girls

If you want more "inside info", you can always contact her. She gave her phone number to a redditor when she was asked to, so she's not very "internet smart".
 
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