We're no strangers to vegans around here. They range from the genuinely decent human being who's made their decision for ethical or health reasons to the loon who starts screaming "MURDER" at the family barbecue to fucking Gary Yourofsky. And the most militant of them start sperging out about any form of animal interaction with humans, from keeping pets to visiting zoos. Not even the most ancient of traditional pastimes is immune to their rage.
I'm sure we must have a few horseback riders in our ranks. Hell, a few people probably own horses. And if you have spent any amount of time observing and interacting with horses, you know that it's pretty easy to read their feelings, whether they're in pain, or stressed, or unhappy. And you also are probably pretty sure that your horse loves you and enjoys your company, even enjoys being ridden. But did you know you're a delusional, sadistic monster?
That's what Marysia Kelly wants to tell you, anyway.
Marysia Kelly goes under the neutral and unbiased tumblr username BanAllEquineSports. She used to be an ignorant horseback rider like you, until she realised the truth, that not only did she not have the right to subject these magnificent animals to slavery, but that horseback riding inevitably and always causes the horse pain. What's that? No it doesn't? Well, fuck you. She knows it does.
How does she know? Well, she has scientific evidence, of course! Except all, and I mean ALL of her evidence comes from two sources; one is Dr. Robert Cook, inventor of the Cook bitless bridle, the other is self-proclaimed "hippologist" Alexander Nevzorov and his family. The fact that Cook notoriously demonises other bridles in order to sell his products don't mean shit to Kelly. Neither does the fact that Nevzorov has absolutely no scientific credentials whatsoever and in fact is considered a pretty shady motherfucker in his native Russia. Nope, nope, these two are GOD, and Kelly will not hear anything different.
Now, there are a few things about Kelly that make her a special kinda crazy. If you google her or her tumblr username, one of the first images that will pop up is this one:
That, my friends, is a BRAND. An actual, hot iron brand that Kelly had done to herself. It is the brand number of a thoroughbred mare (named "Nature's Child", oh, the innocence) that went to slaughter in Australia. Marysia seems to have a...bit of an obsession with this dead horse that she never even met.
She also believes that her brand healed extra-fast because of her sooper dooper special vegan powers.
Clearly this lady is a few ponies short of a stable. She literally believes that any kind of tack is a torture device, especially the hated bit. What's that? Your horse happily opens up its mouth to take the bit when you tack him up? Well, Kelly wants video evidence. In fact, she wants video evidence that shows any horse ever wants to/doesn't mind being ridden, has a strong bond with its rider, likes to jump, or enjoys its job. But when people DO send her these sorts of videos, she brands them "tomfoolery".
Kelly also loves posting random images of horses and branding them "cruelty" or, her favourite, "the horror". For example:
Yes...that horse looks utterly miserable and in agony, doesn't it? Here's another:
If you know even a LITTLE bit about horse body language, you'll notice that most of these horses, especially the first, third, fourth, and fifth ones, look perfectly relaxed and content. But nope, nope, nope, monstrous cruelty. They're just not letting their pain show.
In addition, Kelly believes the most moronic stories imaginable about horse training, generally because these tales come straight from the sacred throat of Alexander Nevzorov. For example, did you know that, in order to prevent their horses from crapping in the ring, circuses will literally beat the shit out of them? What's that? Every time you've seen horses in the circus there's horseshit all over the place? Well, clearly you were hallucinating, because good ol' AN never lies. Another thing circuses do is train their horses to do tricks, like rearing. And this I have to quote, because it is so stupid it has to be seen to be believed.
They bring the horse.
They hook her up with a long rope to the iron in the mouth. To the right or left ring of the bit, it isn’t important.
They extend the rope upwards, beneath the canopy, in the darkness, where they throw across a pulley. That pulley with which they safeguard the trapeze artist.
They draw the end of the rope, which has already has been passed through the pulley, into the arena in front of the horse or behind it.
Three to four circus workers who are somewhat huskier, all in gloves in order not to burn their hands, grab the rope.
The trainer makes a smacking sound with his lips, cracks his lunging whip and the trio in gloves yank the rope toward themselves, downwards jerking the horse across the big top’s pulley by the iron in her mouth until she has been lifted fully vertical.
From behind two more flog the horse on the back as a preventative measure in order that she not move backwards and not fall back.
The trainer thrashes her from the front so the horse does not even think of dropping down.
The horses mouth in such an undertaking usually is torn until it bleeds.
The most powerful horse lips do not survive the jerks and the blood covered eyes pop out of their sockets.
A common trainer joke afterwards (while laughing) “put her eyes back”.
And, I forgot when it all ends, they shove a carrot sliced into rings into the torn mouth of the trembling, wet horse.
The carrot, covered in blood, falls out at once and tumble around the arena.
Gotta love that poetic image of the bloody carrot at the end. So dramatic. It's also beyond moronic. It's actually not difficult to teach a horse to rear. People do it all the time, without the use of a fucking crane and SIX PEOPLE. A setup like this would be infinitely more likely to break a horse's neck than teach it anything. Why in fuck's name would any show risk injuring or killing a valuable animal to do something that can be far more easily accomplished with any danger? But again, Alex said it, so it MUST be true. It doesn't matter that he has no degrees or qualifications, or that his only publications are from vanity presses, he speaks the truth. All the bad press about him are lies spread by the racing industry. That's why she doesn't need your "scientific evidence".
But that's not the bullshit Kelly spews. She also reposted that ludicrous urban legend about Wendy's hamburgers containing horsemeat, and refused to take it down even when someone corrected her. She also threw a screaming fit about a video showing a European stable introducing their stallions to each other. Multiple people tried to explain to her that what the stable owners were doing was introducing the stallions so that they could be safely pastured together in a bachelor herd, like horses would in the wild, but Kelly continued to shriek about how the horses were being "made to fight" for "entertainment" and that it was "unnatural", though again, if you know horses, this is actually one of the most natural ways they can be kept.
This may strike you as a tad hypocritical, but Kelly's got more important things to worry about than hypocrisy and double standards. For example, this is monstrous slavery. This is a beautiful image. What's that? They're both of a horse being taught a silly trick? Well, trust Kelly. She knows the difference. These pictures are also beautiful images, even though they both show children interacting with horses sans proper safety equipment and risking crushed skulls.
You see, Kelly knows the truth. For example, that riding will result in horses having thin, ugly tails despite multiple people telling her about their horses' lovely thick tails, and that riding has no effect on a horse's tail growth. Or about how all horses wearing bits are suffering from "neurocranial shock", a completely made-up condition in which the bit causes intense neurological pain to the horse. Anybody who's ever ridden a horse will tell you that a horse in intense pain would not be standing calmly the way the horses in that link are, but once again, Kelly knows the truth. Including about vaccines.
Dozens upon dozens of people have tried to talk sense into her, but unless they're fawning over her, Kelly will generally refuse to respond except to spew occasionally racist insults. She's actually taken to publishing every ask she receives without comment, refusing to answer even the most basic questions. Anyone who disagrees with her is either ignored, called an idiot, or told that their horse is suffering from Stockholm syndrome.
Oh, and she's a fan of Gary Yourofsky. Because of course she is.
Oh, and check out her Facebook, where she tells the incredulous commenters all about how horses should be free like deer. Because there are wild horses and even dogs do fine in the streets of Russia.
I'm sure we must have a few horseback riders in our ranks. Hell, a few people probably own horses. And if you have spent any amount of time observing and interacting with horses, you know that it's pretty easy to read their feelings, whether they're in pain, or stressed, or unhappy. And you also are probably pretty sure that your horse loves you and enjoys your company, even enjoys being ridden. But did you know you're a delusional, sadistic monster?
That's what Marysia Kelly wants to tell you, anyway.
Marysia Kelly goes under the neutral and unbiased tumblr username BanAllEquineSports. She used to be an ignorant horseback rider like you, until she realised the truth, that not only did she not have the right to subject these magnificent animals to slavery, but that horseback riding inevitably and always causes the horse pain. What's that? No it doesn't? Well, fuck you. She knows it does.
How does she know? Well, she has scientific evidence, of course! Except all, and I mean ALL of her evidence comes from two sources; one is Dr. Robert Cook, inventor of the Cook bitless bridle, the other is self-proclaimed "hippologist" Alexander Nevzorov and his family. The fact that Cook notoriously demonises other bridles in order to sell his products don't mean shit to Kelly. Neither does the fact that Nevzorov has absolutely no scientific credentials whatsoever and in fact is considered a pretty shady motherfucker in his native Russia. Nope, nope, these two are GOD, and Kelly will not hear anything different.
Now, there are a few things about Kelly that make her a special kinda crazy. If you google her or her tumblr username, one of the first images that will pop up is this one:
That, my friends, is a BRAND. An actual, hot iron brand that Kelly had done to herself. It is the brand number of a thoroughbred mare (named "Nature's Child", oh, the innocence) that went to slaughter in Australia. Marysia seems to have a...bit of an obsession with this dead horse that she never even met.
She also believes that her brand healed extra-fast because of her sooper dooper special vegan powers.
Clearly this lady is a few ponies short of a stable. She literally believes that any kind of tack is a torture device, especially the hated bit. What's that? Your horse happily opens up its mouth to take the bit when you tack him up? Well, Kelly wants video evidence. In fact, she wants video evidence that shows any horse ever wants to/doesn't mind being ridden, has a strong bond with its rider, likes to jump, or enjoys its job. But when people DO send her these sorts of videos, she brands them "tomfoolery".
Kelly also loves posting random images of horses and branding them "cruelty" or, her favourite, "the horror". For example:
Yes...that horse looks utterly miserable and in agony, doesn't it? Here's another:
If you know even a LITTLE bit about horse body language, you'll notice that most of these horses, especially the first, third, fourth, and fifth ones, look perfectly relaxed and content. But nope, nope, nope, monstrous cruelty. They're just not letting their pain show.
In addition, Kelly believes the most moronic stories imaginable about horse training, generally because these tales come straight from the sacred throat of Alexander Nevzorov. For example, did you know that, in order to prevent their horses from crapping in the ring, circuses will literally beat the shit out of them? What's that? Every time you've seen horses in the circus there's horseshit all over the place? Well, clearly you were hallucinating, because good ol' AN never lies. Another thing circuses do is train their horses to do tricks, like rearing. And this I have to quote, because it is so stupid it has to be seen to be believed.
They bring the horse.
They hook her up with a long rope to the iron in the mouth. To the right or left ring of the bit, it isn’t important.
They extend the rope upwards, beneath the canopy, in the darkness, where they throw across a pulley. That pulley with which they safeguard the trapeze artist.
They draw the end of the rope, which has already has been passed through the pulley, into the arena in front of the horse or behind it.
Three to four circus workers who are somewhat huskier, all in gloves in order not to burn their hands, grab the rope.
The trainer makes a smacking sound with his lips, cracks his lunging whip and the trio in gloves yank the rope toward themselves, downwards jerking the horse across the big top’s pulley by the iron in her mouth until she has been lifted fully vertical.
From behind two more flog the horse on the back as a preventative measure in order that she not move backwards and not fall back.
The trainer thrashes her from the front so the horse does not even think of dropping down.
The horses mouth in such an undertaking usually is torn until it bleeds.
The most powerful horse lips do not survive the jerks and the blood covered eyes pop out of their sockets.
A common trainer joke afterwards (while laughing) “put her eyes back”.
And, I forgot when it all ends, they shove a carrot sliced into rings into the torn mouth of the trembling, wet horse.
The carrot, covered in blood, falls out at once and tumble around the arena.
Gotta love that poetic image of the bloody carrot at the end. So dramatic. It's also beyond moronic. It's actually not difficult to teach a horse to rear. People do it all the time, without the use of a fucking crane and SIX PEOPLE. A setup like this would be infinitely more likely to break a horse's neck than teach it anything. Why in fuck's name would any show risk injuring or killing a valuable animal to do something that can be far more easily accomplished with any danger? But again, Alex said it, so it MUST be true. It doesn't matter that he has no degrees or qualifications, or that his only publications are from vanity presses, he speaks the truth. All the bad press about him are lies spread by the racing industry. That's why she doesn't need your "scientific evidence".
But that's not the bullshit Kelly spews. She also reposted that ludicrous urban legend about Wendy's hamburgers containing horsemeat, and refused to take it down even when someone corrected her. She also threw a screaming fit about a video showing a European stable introducing their stallions to each other. Multiple people tried to explain to her that what the stable owners were doing was introducing the stallions so that they could be safely pastured together in a bachelor herd, like horses would in the wild, but Kelly continued to shriek about how the horses were being "made to fight" for "entertainment" and that it was "unnatural", though again, if you know horses, this is actually one of the most natural ways they can be kept.
This may strike you as a tad hypocritical, but Kelly's got more important things to worry about than hypocrisy and double standards. For example, this is monstrous slavery. This is a beautiful image. What's that? They're both of a horse being taught a silly trick? Well, trust Kelly. She knows the difference. These pictures are also beautiful images, even though they both show children interacting with horses sans proper safety equipment and risking crushed skulls.
You see, Kelly knows the truth. For example, that riding will result in horses having thin, ugly tails despite multiple people telling her about their horses' lovely thick tails, and that riding has no effect on a horse's tail growth. Or about how all horses wearing bits are suffering from "neurocranial shock", a completely made-up condition in which the bit causes intense neurological pain to the horse. Anybody who's ever ridden a horse will tell you that a horse in intense pain would not be standing calmly the way the horses in that link are, but once again, Kelly knows the truth. Including about vaccines.
Dozens upon dozens of people have tried to talk sense into her, but unless they're fawning over her, Kelly will generally refuse to respond except to spew occasionally racist insults. She's actually taken to publishing every ask she receives without comment, refusing to answer even the most basic questions. Anyone who disagrees with her is either ignored, called an idiot, or told that their horse is suffering from Stockholm syndrome.
Oh, and she's a fan of Gary Yourofsky. Because of course she is.
Oh, and check out her Facebook, where she tells the incredulous commenters all about how horses should be free like deer. Because there are wild horses and even dogs do fine in the streets of Russia.
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