Horrorcow Masaokis - Cooking with Hoarders

littlebiscuits

mean girl
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
*Ehem* Before we get started hear, I'd like everyone who is currently eating to please put down their food for the remainder of this thread. Terribly sorry to be so pushy, but it's for your own good.

Everyone ready? No one's eating? Okay! Masokis time! Who is he? A strange Canadian law clerk who might just be the worst cook on the internet. That's not hyperbole either. Just watch:



And yes, he HAS set his bathroom on fire before. Twice actually.


Oh I should mention, these videos are not from his account, they're just re-hosts.

Yummy, right? Well, if you're just dying to get your hands on more tasty Masokis recipes, you're in luck! He's just started making them again! Yay!
 

littlebiscuits

mean girl
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
The second part of that omelet video when the pan bursts into flames while he's whisking the egg shells has to be one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I hope the rest of his stuff is as hilarious as what I just watched.
No, they're amazing. They are internet magic. Watch a man cook steak in his toilet.
 

littlebiscuits

mean girl
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
These are literally the greatest things I've ever seen. Holy shit the "AUUUGH I should not have done that. Don't mix sausages and peaches" has me in tears. I can't believe there's 90 of these to watch. Christmas came so early this year
I know, I just watched them with the boyfriend over an hour ago (@Tenchi ) and he's still crying with laughter.

every time he uses the blender is pure gold.

Also this one:
 

FreeCandyVan

kiwifarms.net
I know, I just watched them with the boyfriend over an hour ago (@Tenchi ) and he's still crying with laughter.

every time he uses the blender is pure gold.

Also this one:
Watching that one now! I almost want to ration these out and only watch a couple per day. I'm going to be so sad when I've seen them all :(

I've been posting on SA since 2004 and somehow totally missed this guy. I love you fine people for making sure I didn't keep missing him
 

GRANDnumberofMULTIPLES

thuper pigmentit
kiwifarms.net
God, it's like he's a Sim when it comes to fire. Like, completely unaware that meat juice and a stove would equal flare-ups. Even his caveman-esque grunting is perfect.

What the hell would possess someone to cook steak and hot dogs in a fucking toilet or a vase as opposed to a stove that seems mostly operable?

I was going to have a late dinner tonight but I think I'll just have some nice ice water instead.
 

Puppies.

They're shockingly racist!
kiwifarms.net
I actually came to the CWCkiforums on a Masao bingewatch. I feel like he's too self-aware to be a lolcow, though. He disappeared from the internet when he thought people were laughing at his videos.

I've got this theory that he's fully aware of how crazy these videos are, but he's got some mental disability that makes him basically a victim of whatever insane thing his subconscious makes him do. He's a very successful lawyer (not the trial kind) when he's not living in his secret cooking house, and he's had a few long-term relationships that got him cleaned up.

Check out his later channel, where he lives in a nice house and makes much less interesting "food": https://www.youtube.com/user/masaohf

My favorite video is the Christmas Turkey Cake special, which contains neither turkey nor cake.
 

Xarpho

Only looks like he's angry
kiwifarms.net
I love his reaction to the pot starting on fire in the second omlette video. Utter confusion, like he doesn't even know what fire is. His first instinct when he sees fire is to turn off the fucking TV. This has to be the best Cow I've ever seen, no joke.
I'm not even exactly sure how he set the pot on fire. He had pulled it out from a sink full of dirty dishes and there obviously some grime on the bottom, but I never got to see what exactly put in it to make it flame up like that.

Seriously though, this is comedy.
 

Joan Nyan

im gay lol xD
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I'm not even exactly sure how he set the pot on fire. He had pulled it out from a sink full of dirty dishes and there obviously some grime on the bottom, but I never got to see what exactly put in it to make it flame up like that.

Seriously though, this is comedy.
He poured a tiny bit of oil in it and just left it burning for like 10 minutes while he was beating egg shells whites.
 

Xarpho

Only looks like he's angry
kiwifarms.net
He poured a tiny bit of oil in it and just left it burning for like 10 minutes while he was beating egg shells whites.
Must have skipped that part.

Between the complete lack of knowledge on cooking and the pigsty of a house, it's a miracle that his house hasn't gone up flames by now.

Maybe it already has.
 
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