Horrorcow Masaokis - Cooking with Hoarders

Angry New Ager

CLINTON 2020: "One Nation, Under a Groove..."
Tell him and FitVeganGinger to do a collab video.

She makes the recipe, he gets the ingredients and prepares it.
Unfortunately, most of Anna's recipes are for raw vegan dishes. If they have any cooked elements, it's things like canned beans--after all, she's such a dried-up husk, she doesn't dare turn on a stove burner lest she self-immolate. So the potential for dishes erupting into literal flames of hilarity! is, sadly, absent. But his drunken commentary while making her "food"--or, better yet, while eating the putrid finished results--could make it a worthwhile collab.

Negi Springfield

Magister Magi
I have been waiting for this thread to pop up my whole life.

Strange man goes on holy pilgrimage through frozen communist wasteland to obtain the mythical drink known as sambuca.

Oh yes, this IS WITHOUT A DOUBT my favorite lolcow. A gem and a national treasure of Canada. I haven't been to the one channel in a while, but I go there from time to time. Every time I need to see how NOT to cook. Just amazing.


Oh, Masao. I'm so glad he's returning in full frequency, since I thought he'd abandoned it entirely. Seeing his video in higher quality immediately gave me some sense of dread though.

Along with Ulillillia, he's one of the rare few on the pure end of the lolcow spectrum and it legit gives me warm fuzzies to see him back in action.

ES 148

It's like if HowToBasic (yeah, beating a dead horse, I know) was a real human being who talked of wondrous things.
I bet there's a cult around this guy already.


Masako is actually extremely intelligent.
He is a law clerk/solicitor by profession.
His videos are performance art to some extend although he is certainly a real hoarder.
People speculated that he used to be normal and intelligent but took too many hits to the head playing hockey. Apparently he used to post on hockey forums all the time.

I really, somehow, both cant believe this is an act, and I cant believe it isnt. This dude is so amazing.


Basically a Person
Last edited:

Bryan Dunn

KoP & Exceptional Detective
True & Honest Fan
*Ehem* Before we get started hear, I'd like everyone who is currently eating to please put down their food for the remainder of this thread. Terribly sorry to be so pushy, but it's for your own good.

Everyone ready? No one's eating? Okay! Masokis time! Who is he? A strange Canadian law clerk who might just be the worst cook on the internet. That's not hyperbole either. Just watch:

And yes, he HAS set his bathroom on fire before. Twice actually.

Oh I should mention, these videos are not from his account, they're just re-hosts.

Yummy, right? Well, if you're just dying to get your hands on more tasty Masokis recipes, you're in luck! He's just started making them again! Yay!
This is by far, my most favorite cow to come across. It's a big steamroll of *BUT WHY* i've ever seen.

Holy fuck lol


mean girl
True & Honest Fan
I've always thought that masaokis has some kind of neurodegenerative disorder. Like there's no way you can go from practicing law and spending summers in idyllic seaside Italian villages to ....toilet steaks. But then he has like, long eight month periods where he seems to be improving. So maybe not? Whatever, not my business. Just here for the hot dog/peanut butter/ peach smoothies.


I'm so glad this suddenly got attention again. I forgot about him, haven't watched any of these since the thread first popped up, and now I'm enjoying them all over.

I'm happy he's doing well now. I don't know how anyone can't cheer for a guy who sincerely thought defrosting a steak by sticking it onto flaming toilet paper was a good idea

Bryan Dunn

KoP & Exceptional Detective
True & Honest Fan
Not sure if this is okay to do but please rape my face if it is not. I reuploaded this on my unused gaming channel that I do nothing with because I liked the way it came out so here it goes.

Awhile ago, I did a video on my deleted channel about the antics of masaokis. I like him and enjoyed his content so with that in mind, I left out his more personal forum talks and possible mental problem details and focused on just his cooking and hoarding issues.

For some people who might not know this OG recovered cow from back in the day, I feel like this sums up what he was as a content creator.



Hehe xd
True & Honest Fan
Perhaps he's just a rubber stamp for the Mafia. Quebec is a corrupt shithole afterall.

Of course, intelligence is an odd thing. Plenty of professionals are god-like at their profession while everything else they touch is a mess.


He seems to be getting slightly better at preparation. No moldy peaches or rotten coconuts.
He's gotten better. I see the omelette video and laugh my ass off. At the same time, his old apartment really was a pigsty. How does this guy function?

Now he has a better looking kitchen. He's a little off, but in a good way. There's a newer video of Masao pan-frying steak and tomatoes. At one point he casually says, “If these tomatoes were people, this would be genocide."

Whatever is wrong with Masao, I hope never becomes right.