Horrorcow Masaokis - Cooking with Hoarders

JuanButNotForgotten

Friendly Mexican Ghost
kiwifarms.net
Who would you rather eat food from, DarkSydePhil, Jack Scalfani or Masaokis?
Phil, of course. He knows fuck all about making healthy meals, but at least his stuff is average greasy salty garbage, not some jello pistachio pepper vomit or undercooked so badly that it bleeds (like Jack's), and it has been cooked in his kitchen and not in a toilet (like this thread's hero's).
 

NOT Sword Fighter Super

"Cheerleeder" of Slapfights
True & Honest Fan
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As some speculated, it might just be performance art thing to him, these days. I refuse to believe he isn't aware that his videos garnered a cult-like following that watches him simply for the exceptional things he does in the hovel.
I've though for a while now that it could be an act. Some of it is far too perfectly timed, plus most people wouldn't post this shit or would have at least edited them to where they'd not look as dumb.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: oldTireWater

January Cyst

I could eat a knob at night
kiwifarms.net
Well, in his newest video we can clearly see a woman playing with the dog.
Seems to me like a significant other but idk. From these newest videos the dude actually seems really well-adjusted, maybe he’s just been a really good comedian all this time.
"Well adjusted" isn't the right term here in the same way that Chris isn't "good with money" even though Marvin might disagree.
Pathenocarpy (the dude who runs the Archive said that Masaokis is a law-clerk/lawyer in Quebec who owns several apartments (you can see 2 of them in his videos, both are thrashed) and apparently he actually lives in a house as evidenced by his latest videos.
The fact that he's both successful in his career and actually knows to hide his "eccentricities" speak towards his intellect.


I reinstate my claim that he's a really smart fella that used to go to a hovel to indulge his alcoholism and not ruin his relationship due to drunken rants, though I have no doubt it was still a strained relationship. A smart enough dude might find a semblance of sobriety and continue his fun side hobby of posting for his cult following.

His break from making videos would easily be explained by the long process of getting sober from something like booze. No stranger to both addicts and hoarders so I'm just going off what little I've seen and the things I know.
Yeah, both of his apartments were basically places where he could indulge in his hobbies/addictions while still keeping up appearances.
I wouldn't call it a "fun hobby" to turn your own place into a pigsty and get wasted, that's pathological.
 

oldTireWater

Incompetent as fuck
kiwifarms.net
He's got the crazy-person thing down so well that the only thing that makes me believe it's an act is his immediate gagging and spitting whenever he finally eats what he's prepared. It comes across as staged, when a legit nut would probably be able to eat it, and it would take a few seconds to trigger a real gag reflex in even a normal person.
 
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oldTireWater

Incompetent as fuck
kiwifarms.net
The place is looking pretty clean. It's a shame he's using both hands, that was a big part of the charm.

Edit: nevermind, he seems to be one-handing it mostly.
 

millais

The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
What have we done to deserve the luxury of several Masaokis videos in a single day?
GodBear be blessed!

Edit: Random car tire in the kitchen, why not.

View attachment 950154
He was saying it's almost winter in Quebec, so presumably he needs to swap out for winter tires. Though it makes you wonder where the other three tires are...
 

January Cyst

I could eat a knob at night
kiwifarms.net
I'm almost certain this is a joke.

But goddamn, it's a good joke.
So he'd turn 2 of his own properties into a bio hazard , eats sausages out of the toilet just to get a few laughs from people on the internet?
His channels weren't even monetized.
The kitchen in his new home isn't all that clean, either (although almost sterile compared to the other ones).
 
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Kane Lives

Peace through power
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Oh man, new videos. Is it my birthday already?

He's such a pure joy to watch. I can appreciate this. Why is the horrorcow tag still there btw?
 

Jonathan_Smith

kiwifarms.net
whether he is joking or not, he's a beautiful person. 4 minutes of gameboy games should be at the start of every professionals cooking video
 

millais

The Yellow Rose of Victoria, Texas
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So he'd turn 2 of his own properties into a bio hazard , eats sausages out of the toilet just to get a few laughs from people on the internet?
His channels weren't even monetized.
The kitchen in his new home isn't all that clean, either (although almost sterile compared to the other ones).
I think the three part video where he explains himself is pretty close to the truth. His mind just operates on something similar to a complete stream-of-consciousness basis, which results in poorly planned recipes/house repairs and long rambling monologues on whatever he has been reading or studying.
 

Burd Turglar

kiwifarms.net
Who would you rather eat food from, DarkSydePhil, Jack Scalfani or Masaokis?
Depends, how drunk am I?

DSP makes food that looks like it might not kill me but there's no way I could eat with him pig snorting the entire time and possibly jacking off.

Jack is a hell to the fucking no, I don't need a stroke before I'm 40 plus every possible food born illness under the sun.

If I was drunk enough though, I would sit down and talk politics with Masaokis while I watch him light shit on fire and then try a bite of his failed prison food experiments.
 

MarvinTheParanoidAndroid

This will all end in tears, I just know it.
True & Honest Fan
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Depends, how drunk am I?

DSP makes food that looks like it might not kill me but there's no way I could eat with him pig snorting the entire time and possibly jacking off.

Jack is a hell to the fucking no, I don't need a stroke before I'm 40 plus every possible food born illness under the sun.

If I was drunk enough though, I would sit down and talk politics with Masaokis while I watch him light shit on fire and then try a bite of his failed prison food experiments.
You don't actually dine with them, they just make the food and give it to you.

As for being drunk, however drunk you wanna be.
 

Burd Turglar

kiwifarms.net
Is DSP's cooking that bad?
It's pretty bad IMO but it's obviously not the worst. His food safety is pretty rough but not Jack or Kay rough and I watched him dump bacon grease down a toilet so that makes me iffy as fuck.

Also, I'd rather suck start a shotgun than say anything positive about DSP. It's like complementing cockroaches for being able to survive tons of shit.
 
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