Methods of Coffee Procurement and Preparation - Or how I became a Soy-Filled Bitch

Piss Clam

Squeeze me.
Oct 20, 2016
I use a french press when I go hiking. Had to give it up for day to day since I was a cubical lifer and drank pots per day.

Can't do that anymore when you slow down life otherwise you'll be bouncing off the wall.


Broken, dissolute, misanthropic scum...but lovely!
Aug 22, 2014
Technivorm Moccamaster, the "Classic" ~ handmade machine from the Netherlands that makes a stunning cup of coffee. I love it.



King Neptune's Chosen People
Sep 25, 2018
work days: 2 cup french press
non-work days: full pot drip
prefer light roasts, have slightly more caffeine
black, cream/sugar/alcohol on holidays or special occasions only

Gordon Cole

Yep, he's dead
True & Honest Fan
Jul 10, 2015
I'm okay with drinking drip-filtered Ethiopian coffee from a high-end cafe.

I'm also okay with just going to the 7-11/Tim Horton's and getting a big-ass coffee for $2.

Basically as long as it's black and has caffeine, I'll drink it.

I've also been looking to get into home-brewing. Any advice on where to start/what to get?


True & Honest Fan
Jul 14, 2018
I use Moka Pot when I want Espresso-style coffee and a Chemex. The price for Chemex is a lot but I just love the simplicity of it. It's so easy to clean.

I also love French Press. But cleaning the press can be annoying.


Tactical Autism Response Division
True & Honest Fan
Mar 11, 2019
Anyone else gradually become intolerant to caffeine, to the point where you only really fux with tea anymore? Every other year or so coffee starts making me into a jittery nutbag for a few months. Abstaining for a season returns me to normal.
It's not all bad, tho. I've discovered chai.

The best and greatest

Staring into your soul
Mar 21, 2019
Keurig is for people who think they're being classy but don't know any better. If I wanted coffee flavored water, I'd just suck on a filter.

I grind my own and don't consider it a proper cup of coffee unless I can feel my tongue retract.
Keurig would be fine if it were just an overly expensive water heater with a carafe attachment. But its that AND it comes with refillable plastic cups for rubes who like paying out the ass for the privilege of having their coffee pre-portioned into disposable plastic cups. Its like the easy-bake oven came back and fucked the coffee machine.


Sabat on a gayops
May 6, 2019
Been a coffee addict since I was about 10. I remember before anyone would show me how to make coffee, I would even go and eat the straight up grounds because I liked the flavor and loved the caffeine buzz (I was really big on staying up as long as I could as a kid. I still kinda have that problem. Hate the fact that I have to sleep to feel normal)

Of course that was my mom's Folgers, and I was satisfied with that for awhile, until I started using different kinds and realizing how good some of them are. A pretty good higher quality coffee to start with is Gevalia, I prefer their French Roast it's pretty good. Whole Foods has an autisticly large selection of types of coffee, pretty good dark roast.

My favorite right now is Cambraia. I found it one time when my wife dragged me to an international market. It's from Brazil and it's the creme de la creme cream la li la lou french whatever however it goes. I like all the ones I've tried from them, whole bean and pre-ground, but their Espresso roast is probably the best. Need more scientific testing...


Now I used to only use a normal coffee maker (still will if feeling lazy), but the best way so far I've seen is this traditional espresso from this italian company Bialetti (they make good shit, got some badass pots and pans from them on the cheap). It's a little more involved. You actually have to sit and watch it being careful not to let it get too hot otherwise, you'll ruin the batch and make a huge mess because it will boil over. However, if you have an attention span above that of the average goldfish, all you have to do is take it off as soon as it starts to steam and let it finish perculating then BAM badass homemade espresso that's better than most any coffee shop (unless you're a eurofag or elsewhere with very high quality coffee shops).
Then you can use the espresso to make any coffee drinks. Get you some flavoring and you'll be really set. Also, if you enjoy frozen coffee drinks, invest in a 10 bag of Xanthan Gum. All you need is 1/8th a teaspoon to make your frozen drink with, and BAM it has the proper consistency and doesn't fall apart like a shitty Dunkin Donuts frozen drink.

This is also great, because they are like ~$20, as opposed to paying out the ass for an automatic espresso machine that is generally going to be a huge pain in the ass to clean and won't always come out right.

I'm also really considering that Ninja coffee maker that @Nekromantik mentioned to replace my shitty $10 coffee maker. That way I don't have to use a separate device to grind my beans with a separate device, also the built on frother will make it so I will basically have a full-on barista bar in my kitchen.

Jesus Christ, I didn't realize how autistic I was about coffee. Didn't even notice that this was an old thread no one has commented on in awhile, but now I've made a commitment

Man vs persistent rat

A good egg is a nice person
True & Honest Fan
Apr 25, 2018
Has anybody tried this thing? While every month sees another fancy drip come onto the market, this one has some interesting science to it (it fully regulates the pour to extremely consistent results). My only issue is it looks like the most flimsy plastic crap (the upgrade to a ceramic drip from a plastic one with the v60 made a huge difference for me).

To answer OP's question, finding a good reputation roaster that focuses on single origin and sells online is ideal, doesn't need to be local at all, shop around for the best price. Some are a little pretentious and only sell whole-bean, but if you like the flavour of different producers, waiting for a sale on a burr grinder can only be worthwhile - it allows you to keep whatever you buy for longer before it loses flavour, and the aroma of freshly ground is a bonus you will be able to enjoy each time you use it.