Artcow Michael John Kricfalusi / John Kricfalusi / John K. / John K. Stuff / Raymond Spum - scammer animator who pissed away his own career, salty blogger, CONFIRMED predator and child rapist

MarvinTheParanoidAndroid

This will all end in tears, I just know it.
kiwifarms.net
I wanna hear you elaborate on this. Not that I don't believe you, I just love it when this guy gets thoroughly ripped to shreds.
I'll go ahead and cook up some animated GIFs & whatnot of the Simpsons intros once I get some free time on my hands. I'm not even done making fun of the errors and embarrassing sexual humor in CWL yet, but suffice to say, take most of the mistakes you saw in CWL, and amplify them by about three degrees.
 

Trilby

Hello faggot lovers!
kiwifarms.net
So fun fact... that awful 50's commercial at the end of Cans without Labels?

It's a real place.

Some items they sell include:

The world's saddest veggie burger. It is a lentil burger drowning in vegan cheese and some hideous bun. It costs 5 buckerinos.


Fries of both the normal and sweet potato variety. I will give them this; I like that they allow you to actually mix and match. But 4.50 for this? U Wot m8?


Fucking soy shakes for 6 bucks. Drown in SOOOOY! The only thing I will say is that at least it's not as much a rip-off as Galaxy Edge's soyshakes.


Here's a pride cookie. Gotta exploit them homos for woke points and cash after all.

And here's the Magnum Opus of fail, the saddest shit of all...

The owner herself showing off herself as a pin-up model in the sad sad attempt to recapture her glory days. Shit, she even made herself the mascot of this fucking thing.

Anyways here are some fun quotes from the menu by the by:
  • (On the Shimmy Burger) Lettuce, vegan cheez, tomato, pickles, mustard and ketchup on Shimmy’s own grilled lentil patty. A veggie version of the American classic! This one will razz your berries!
  • Garlic Sauce – Vegan mayo, fresh chopped garlic, salt and pepper… No vampires with this around! Homemade by Shimmy.
  • (On the Cowgirl cookie) Our best seller: chocolate chips, oats, toasted walnuts and peanut butter. YEE HAW!!! Addictive.
  • (On the Girlscout cookie, err Shim Mint) A velvety chocolate cookie with an indulgent hint of mint. Perfect for your first kiss. Mmmwah!
  • (On the fuck it slap it together, err "Freaky Friday") It’s a surprise and it’s freaky! All we tell you is it’s vegan and gluten free. Our team creates something from the ingredients in our kitchen. Take a chance, ya nevah know, it might just be your fav! Available all day Friday as supplies last.
  • (On Water... it costs TWO DOLLARS) The best vegan water around town! Especially gluten free, sugar free, fat free- try one and you’ll be back for more!
  • (On the Creepy Calendar) Shot in Shimmy Shack’s new brick and mortar restaurant in Plymouth, Michigan, this calendar is a celebration of veganism inspired by the fun, fab fashion of the 50s. Support our small business by proudly displaying this calendar in your office, home, cubicle, garage or locker. We’re sassy and we know it! wink wink.
Motown didn't deserve this.
 

MarvinTheParanoidAndroid

This will all end in tears, I just know it.
kiwifarms.net
I think the shrinking dicknose was done intentionally to simulate the warped perspective of a camera right up in the guy's face. But it didn't work because JK got lazy and tried to move bits around instead of creating elements for a grotesque face and a normal face.
If that's the case then it's a shitty parallax attempt that didn't work because he didn't put in the work of actually making his nose protrude outward from his face to actually convey the illusion, he just blew up an element and shrunk it back down.

However, I disagree with that assessment. His nose isn't all that shrinks, his mouth shrinks too.
814479


You can see that the edge of his smile is scaling down his outer cheek to the right and his upper cheek line to the left as it shrinks. His eyes even shrink backward into his face a bit too, at the beginning the outer edge of his eye was fused to the outer line of his head and by the end there's a narrow gap between the two. Almost every element on his face changes with that zoom effect, which tells me he shrunk portions of the character one at a time rather than highlighting all the items at once and shrinking them together. This is a very elementary mistake for people new to animation, coming from a (in)famous, seasoned professional.
 
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Tragi-Chan

Godmaster Reverend
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I saw the in-progress version, and I remember thinking it wasn’t so great, but I gave it a pass because obviously it was far from finished. Now it turns out to be the superior version.

Also, can someone tell John that George Liquor is a shit character? He seems to be under the delusion that “ultra-conservative hardass” is an amazing concept, as opposed to something that’s been done better in a dozen other cartoons. King of the Hill did it better several times an episode.
 

Steamboat_Bill

Going to beat the record of the Robert E. Lee
kiwifarms.net
So fun fact... that awful 50's commercial at the end of Cans without Labels?

It's a real place.

Some items they sell include:

The world's saddest veggie burger. It is a lentil burger drowning in vegan cheese and some hideous bun. It costs 5 buckerinos.


Fries of both the normal and sweet potato variety. I will give them this; I like that they allow you to actually mix and match. But 4.50 for this? U Wot m8?


Fucking soy shakes for 6 bucks. Drown in SOOOOY! The only thing I will say is that at least it's not as much a rip-off as Galaxy Edge's soyshakes.


Here's a pride cookie. Gotta exploit them homos for woke points and cash after all.

And here's the Magnum Opus of fail, the saddest shit of all...

The owner herself showing off herself as a pin-up model in the sad sad attempt to recapture her glory days. Shit, she even made herself the mascot of this fucking thing.

Anyways here are some fun quotes from the menu by the by:
  • (On the Shimmy Burger) Lettuce, vegan cheez, tomato, pickles, mustard and ketchup on Shimmy’s own grilled lentil patty. A veggie version of the American classic! This one will razz your berries!
  • Garlic Sauce – Vegan mayo, fresh chopped garlic, salt and pepper… No vampires with this around! Homemade by Shimmy.
  • (On the Cowgirl cookie) Our best seller: chocolate chips, oats, toasted walnuts and peanut butter. YEE HAW!!! Addictive.
  • (On the Girlscout cookie, err Shim Mint) A velvety chocolate cookie with an indulgent hint of mint. Perfect for your first kiss. Mmmwah!
  • (On the fuck it slap it together, err "Freaky Friday") It’s a surprise and it’s freaky! All we tell you is it’s vegan and gluten free. Our team creates something from the ingredients in our kitchen. Take a chance, ya nevah know, it might just be your fav! Available all day Friday as supplies last.
  • (On Water... it costs TWO DOLLARS) The best vegan water around town! Especially gluten free, sugar free, fat free- try one and you’ll be back for more!
  • (On the Creepy Calendar) Shot in Shimmy Shack’s new brick and mortar restaurant in Plymouth, Michigan, this calendar is a celebration of veganism inspired by the fun, fab fashion of the 50s. Support our small business by proudly displaying this calendar in your office, home, cubicle, garage or locker. We’re sassy and we know it! wink wink.
What's a red-blooded, meat-eating manly man like John doing shilling for a vegan food truck anyway?
 

Steamboat_Bill

Going to beat the record of the Robert E. Lee
kiwifarms.net
Incidentally, here is a YouTube comment from Keith Alcorn (of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius fame, if it is really him):

"I officially nominate him for 'worst director of all-time'! Your gags suck. Your timing sucks. Your writing sucks. Your performances suck. And best of all – you suck! You have actually regressed since the 80's you pathetic hack! Congrats John! I hope you can show your trophy to all your prison pals one day!"
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So, I guess the vegan community can thank John K. for shilling a vegan food truck business.
What's a red-blooded, meat-eating manly man like John doing shilling for a vegan food truck anyway?
If I had to guess, Shimmy could've actually given him money to advertise her shop as a paid promotion. If that's the case, I'd sue since this dickhead didn't do his fucking job for seven years before throwing it out the door. I will give him credit though in that he made it sound better than it really is (though a buddy and I thought he was making a Detroit Joke),

Either that or John sperged about it since it's designed around 1950s Americana and he accidentally stumbled onto it and asked to include it in due to said autism. Shimmy is a bit of an attention whore, since she regularly went on Fox 2 to show off her 'midwest mom' style cooking once or twice on it.

Anyways George is not a character you can really use as a main character in my opinion. It should be his nephews that are the stars, and I should state that it looks like even John was semi-aware of this given they were the main focus. His story idea was clearly missing gags, since he wasted so much of his time on awful animations instead of that. For example, the two characters should have tried to get rid of the face through other methods first.

Like one gag is they chuck it into the trash and it vomits it back out, covering them in garbage. Then a garbage truck painted like an ambulance takes it away. Another one is the sink spits it out when they try to disposal it. Another joke that John should've done, and actually would've explained why George had to shit? He eats a bit of the face and it makes him sick, but still expects them to finish it since he ain't wasting money due to his pride.

Cans without labels is proof that writing is a useful element in animation.
 
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vertexwindi

Diddy in space, even though he's not
Supervisor
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
If I had to guess, Shimmy could've actually given him money to advertise her shop as a paid promotion. If that's the case, I'd sue since this dickhead didn't do his fucking job for seven years before throwing it out the door. I will give him credit though in that he made it sound better than it really is (though a buddy and I thought he was making a Detroit Joke),

Either that or John sperged about it since it's designed around 1950s Americana and he accidentally stumbled onto it and asked to include it in due to said autism. Shimmy is a bit of an attention whore, since she regularly went on Fox 2 to show off her 'midwest mom' style cooking once or twice on it.

Anyways George is not a character you can really use as a main character in my opinion. It should be his nephews that are the stars, and I should state that it looks like even John was semi-aware of this given they were the main focus. His story idea was clearly missing gags, since he wasted so much of his time on awful animations instead of that. For example, the two characters should have tried to get rid of the face through other methods first.

Like one gag is they chuck it into the trash and it vomits it back out, covering them in garbage. Then a garbage truck painted like an ambulance takes it away. Another one is the sink spits it out when they try to disposal it. Another joke that John should've done, and actually would've explained why George had to shit? He eats a bit of the face and it makes him sick, but still expects them to finish it since he ain't wasting money due to his pride.

Cans without labels is proof that writing is a useful element in animation.
He could've at least done a joke at the end, like George looking at the recently opened can showing it to be full of something really ordinary like spaghetti or beef stew, then shrugging at the camera. But who needs jokes when you can have W-W-WACKY FACES

Is John seriously the kind of spastic to refuse writing a script?
Yes, he goes straight to storyboard. Ren and Stimpy made it work because there were other people working on the cartoons to reign in his insanity.
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
He could've at least done a joke at the end, like George looking at the recently opened can showing it to be full of something really ordinary like spaghetti or beef stew, then shrugging at the camera. But who needs jokes when you can have W-W-WACKY FACES
I actually thought that joke would've been good. Like he looks in and goes. "It's just pea soup, what kind of kid doesn't want pea soup? Ah well, more for me!" and he just casually eats it and enjoys it. In a more competent production that would've been perfect.
Is John seriously the kind of spastic to refuse writing a script?
He actually looks down on script writers in an animated project, even though they're very useful if your jokes are mainly dialogue related. It also allows you to focus on a coherent narrative before you waste time story boarding. This refusal to write is why you have him waste up to a full half minute on that cat's ass wiggling on the chair.
 

Steamboat_Bill

Going to beat the record of the Robert E. Lee
kiwifarms.net
He actually looks down on script writers in an animated project, even though they're very useful if your jokes are mainly dialogue related. It also allows you to focus on a coherent narrative before you waste time story boarding. This refusal to write is why you have him waste up to a full half minute on that cat's ass wiggling on the chair.
The way a storyboard-driven cartoon is supposed to work is that you outline the cartoon before you board it, and the board artist fleshes it out - the board artists write the cartoon, and not a scriptwriter. Most of the really popular cartoons of the past few decades use this way.

But when you're John and you want to make a cartoon highlighting and celebrating your daddy issues, well...
 

Jewelsmakerguy

(Cheesy 80s music intensifies)
kiwifarms.net
I saw the in-progress version, and I remember thinking it wasn’t so great, but I gave it a pass because obviously it was far from finished. Now it turns out to be the superior version.

Also, can someone tell John that George Liquor is a shit character? He seems to be under the delusion that “ultra-conservative hardass” is an amazing concept, as opposed to something that’s been done better in a dozen other cartoons. King of the Hill did it better several times an episode.
Blame his daddy issues. He thinks making a character based on his dad was a good idea.

Could we consider this random-access humor?
Given how he feels hearing a man take a shit, then walk out making faces for over a minute is the pinnacle of comedy, why not?
 

ColorfulCassowary

Arrrrr
kiwifarms.net
He actually looks down on script writers in an animated project, even though they're very useful if your jokes are mainly dialogue related. It also allows you to focus on a coherent narrative before you waste time story boarding. This refusal to write is why you have him waste up to a full half minute on that cat's ass wiggling on the chair.
I think that's always been John's problem, even in his "good" cartoons. No wit, no dialogue, no brains, just wacky faces and shrieking. This man would commit suicide on the spot if you showed him Rocky And Bullwinkle.
 

Steamboat_Bill

Going to beat the record of the Robert E. Lee
kiwifarms.net
I think that's always been John's problem, even in his "good" cartoons. No wit, no dialogue, no brains, just wacky faces and shrieking. This man would commit suicide on the spot if you showed him Rocky And Bullwinkle.
Come on. John was a fan of Roger Ramjet (which has even less animation) and Rocket Robin Hood. Not to mention early Hanna-Barbera.

But remember that Ren and Stimpy was the last time he worked with a crew comprised mostly of his own peers who did their time in the big TV animation studios just like he did instead of young, novice animators who were working at their first job. That is to say, people who thought they were trying to make funny cartoons instead of what was essentially a cult.
 

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