'Midnight Sun' is finally here and 'Twilight' fans have already started binge-reading it - a how-to on how you piss off history majors with your persephone and hades retelling

[Scarlett Johansson]

(CNN)It's been 12 long years since the last book of the "Twilight" series came out, meaning high schoolers that once classified themselves into #TeamJacob or #TeamEdward are now working adults.
But no amount of time could rid fans of Stephanie Meyer's books -- and their subsequent movie adaptations -- of their enthusiasm for the vampire series. On Tuesday, Meyer's new book "Midnight Sun," which reimagines the iconic love story from Edward's perspective, hit shelves.
And just as Edward jumped up the trees with Bella on his back (who can ever forget that spider monkey line?), "Midnight Sun" has already leaped up to #1 on Amazon's bestselling books.
"Midnight Sun" was supposed to be published after the 2008 release of "Breaking Dawn," the last book in the original series, which was adapted into a successful movie franchise featuring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson. But then, an unedited manuscript was leaked, putting the book on hold.

'Midnight Sun' is finally here and 'Twilight' fans have already started binge-reading it

Just as Edward leaped through the trees (who can ever forget that spider monkey line), "Midnight Sun" has already leaped up to #1 on Amazon's bestselling books.

www.cnn.com

Some excerpts

 

[millais]

Mormonism was a mistake

 

[Tootsie Bear]

Please read another book!

 

[Blackh0le]

There was a Twilight sequel? It still has a fandom?!

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Please read another book!

Oh I don't support this trash lol. But its fun looking at the creepy twihards almost choke themselves to death over this shit franchise

Poor Robert Pattinson will never escape this role

 

[Kari Kamiya]

God, I hope my mom doesn't consider caving in to buy this. My grandma might because she's a completionist, but Mom always thought this was a dumb idea. If she actually ends up getting it, I might poke through it for the lulz and sick curiosity. If it comes to that, I could bite the bullet and give a critique. I might've jinxed myself just for thinking of entertaining this.

Anyhoo, these excerpts, wow Meyer hasn't changed. Remember: she went to school and got a degree (unspecified but it's either Associate's or Bachelor's) in English. And this is the best prose she can write in.

Is this the first time Edward showed himself to be such an emo little bitch (oh wait, the "I'MMA MONSTER, BELLA" spiel, that's right lol)? I can just hear My Chemical Romance weeping in this paragraph even though Meyer is such a fan of Muse, she wrote the books while listening to their music. I don't listen to Muse, are they rather moody?

"Women are such disgusting temptresses," I grumbled to my vampiress sister, who was nursing a glass of her hundreth-and-twenty-first boyfriend's blood. "Whoever this God is has a cruel, sick sense of humor to have melded such a round pair of--ugh--breasts for the sole purpose of turning the male brain into mush."

"Gawd, Edward, you're such a moody drama queen."

Ohhh that explains the book cover, but doesn't explain why it looked so gross if it's supposed to be a beautifully-dark depiction.

Fail.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

There was a Twilight sequel? It still has a fandom?!

After finding out Twilight fan fiction became a best selling series nothing surprises me about the series anymore.

 

[Blackh0le]

After finding out Twilight fan fiction became a best selling series nothing surprises me about the series anymore.

WHY. WHY. WHY.

 

[Marissa Moira]

God, I hope my mom doesn't consider caving in to buy this. My grandma might because she's a completionist, but Mom always thought this was a dumb idea. If she actually ends up getting it, I might poke through it for the lulz and sick curiosity. If it comes to that, I could bite the bullet and give a critique. I might've jinxed myself just for thinking of entertaining this.

Anyhoo, these excerpts, wow Meyer hasn't changed. Remember: she went to school and got a degree (unspecified but it's either Associate's or Bachelor's) in English. And this is the best prose she can write in.



Is this the first time Edward showed himself to be such an emo little bitch (oh wait, the "I'MMA MONSTER, BELLA" spiel, that's right lol)? I can just hear My Chemical Romance weeping in this paragraph even though Meyer is such a fan of Muse, she wrote the books while listening to their music. I don't listen to Muse, are they rather moody?



"Women are such disgusting temptresses," I grumbled to my vampiress sister, who was nursing a glass of her hundreth-and-twenty-first boyfriend's blood. "Whoever this God is has a cruel, sick sense of humor to have melded such a round pair of--ugh--breasts for the sole purpose of turning the male brain into mush."

"Gawd, Edward, you're such a moody drama queen."



Ohhh that explains the book cover, but doesn't explain why it looked so gross if it's supposed to be a beautifully-dark depiction.
View attachment 1496691
Fail.

Why didn't she listen?

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

I thought the Twilight fandom died out along with the zombie spergs.

 

[The Bovinian Derivative]

This works if you read it with SHODAN's voice.

 

[Dude Weed]

Can someone drive a stake into the heart of this franchise... please?

 

[Neil]

After finding out Twilight fan fiction became a best selling series nothing surprises me about the series anymore.

women have no fucking taste

 

[Marissa Moira]

Can someone drive a stake into the heart of this franchise... please?

a 3 movie deal is already in the works.

 

[Dude Weed]

a 3 movie deal is already in the works.

Not this shit again can 2020 get any worse?

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Not this shit again can 2020 get any worse?

They're making a Whitney Houston biopic.

God, I hope my mom doesn't consider caving in to buy this. My grandma might because she's a completionist, but Mom always thought this was a dumb idea. If she actually ends up getting it, I might poke through it for the lulz and sick curiosity. If it comes to that, I could bite the bullet and give a critique. I might've jinxed myself just for thinking of entertaining this.

Is this your mom?

 

[Cactuar King]

I thought the Twilight fandom died out along with the zombie spergs.

Blame Lindsay Ellis, she made the bullshit claim that people only hated it because it was aimed at teenage girls, and that led to a bunch of her cocksucker fans blindly going along with it.

 

[Rand /pol/]

Why are people this mad ITT over a book series that was popular a decade ago.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Is this your mom?
View attachment 1496790

It's all in good jest, but that has to be someone whose own children (if any) disowned entirely and hasn't spoken to in years. Doesn't even know if she has any grandchildren or if someone will find her dead body before it liquefies since I doubt animals are even allowed to go near that room. It's a pitiful existence.

 

[Dude Weed]

Why are people this mad ITT over a book series that was popular a decade ago.

It was a terrible series, 2020 has been a terrible year, we don't need more gay glitter vampires on top of everything!