So, I noticed a rather intriguing thread on Facepunch from 2014 (https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1386044) that had been skyrocketing in activity after being dead or ages.
Naturally, I became curious to find out why, and found this rather amazing individual, a combination of anxiety, pills, love letters and inspirational advice and art. He's reportedly also a wannabe rapper on Youtube, but I haven't found anything like that yet.
Meet Mikenopa, reported sex offender, pedophile and... absolutely insane.
Besides his inspirational posts on his public blog at http://positivepartsoflife.blogspot.com, (and his private blog which is not at http://mikenopa.tumblr.com/ and nobody knows about it, and his OTHER private blog at http://blog-pals.com/), he shot to fame after his rather... intriguing love letter. Not to forget his collection of written works at https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1437724, both crime and... erotica.
Naturally, I became curious to find out why, and found this rather amazing individual, a combination of anxiety, pills, love letters and inspirational advice and art. He's reportedly also a wannabe rapper on Youtube, but I haven't found anything like that yet.
Meet Mikenopa, reported sex offender, pedophile and... absolutely insane.
Besides his inspirational posts on his public blog at http://positivepartsoflife.blogspot.com, (and his private blog which is not at http://mikenopa.tumblr.com/ and nobody knows about it, and his OTHER private blog at http://blog-pals.com/), he shot to fame after his rather... intriguing love letter. Not to forget his collection of written works at https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1437724, both crime and... erotica.
I swallowed 4 pills that have mysterious effects and it is hard to type.
Why did I swallow the pills?
Curiosity. Boredom. Depression. But, for fun? No.
I took this medicine because I just want to feel something. Right now it feels like the words I am typing are coming off of the screen. Each finger is the weight of my entire body. I have no idea what this medication does. I feel sort of tired, but unnaturally tired. These could have been sugar pills for all I know. I don’t know at all what these pills do. They are supposed to fix my anxiety. I am a really anxious person. If someone says hi to me on the bus I assume the next action will be the bus driver taking out an Uzi and killing everyone on the entire bus because I forgot to say hi back to him. That is my brain. So, apparently that is a broken brain. So now I will take these pills. These pills make me tired and my limbs heavy. I have lost my balance. These words are in 3d. Even when I close my eyes I still see the 3d. I see a checkerboard and some colored lines When I close my eyes, I am in love with [REDACTED]. I love her more than my heart will allow.
I can barely see right now, my eyes are very heavy. My heart is beating awfully fast. I took quite a few pills. I should take some more. I am now going to take more pills. I just grabbed 2 larger pills and swallowed them. They have a very strange texture. I am breathing harder now. [REDACTED] I love you and I want to move in with you because I think that our money, once pooled together, can give us everything we want. We won’t have crazy things like a yacht, but we will have peace. We will have silence in our lives. As I type this it looks like a sunset is behind the words. My arms feel fast for some reason. My hands are like spiders. They move, and then they stop. I wonder what it would have been like to use a typewriter. CLING CLING CLING. I am not on drugs, I guess. I just want to say something sweet to the girl I love. I am going to go to the restroom now and then finish this up.
Bringing my laptop up to me is much more difficult than I imagined. I just took 2 more mysterious pills. How many am I at now? I think there were 3 big ones and maybe 4 small ones? [REDACTED], your life is so stressful that I don’t even understand how you bare a second of it. My life is so easy, that I don’t know how I bare a second of it. I think we should mush. We should combine our strengths into one super strength. Together we could have it all. All we need is for you to start this. I’m giving you the match, I’ll hold the fuse.I think I am going to take another pill.
It felt very wavy just then. I’ll send [REDACTED] a link to this memo, or whatever this is.
[REDACTED], I think of course it is scary and a huge risk for two people that have never even met before to move in with each other. If you want lies to tell you parents I can think of infinity lies. If you don’t want to lie to your parents then I am alright with that too! The words as I type them they are dripping of moss. Its like I am typing beneath a forgotten cave. There is especially a lot of green at the bottom. My arms are stiffening and my clarity is slightly returning. What does this mean? I love you [REDACTED]. I think we are both ready to do this. I think we need to do this.
The plan is to move in together after you finish this current semester. What I just typed looked like it was at the top of a canyon and the words being typed were a rock slide. I think I feel very cold. Maybe it is because of the fan being on? I guess I am going to take another pill. As the pill count rises, my depression just remains as dead as ever. I think that is the best way to describe my depression. Its like I have a person inside of my skin, and I can’t get him out because he is dead. Maybe the medicine will finally get him out?
[REDACTED] your father is a dangerous man. You live in a very messy and a very noisy house. We can fix this [REDACTED]. We can make life so much easier for us. I can’t see out of my eyes very well, even when I switch between my glasses. These anxiety medications are just making my anxiety worse. This is a terrible idea. Maybe I should take another pill? One more down my throat and I still feel as if I am nothing. I am nothing.
[REDACTED] I love you. I love you. My love for you comes from the part of my heart that takes oxygen enriched blood and enriches it. That is where my love for you is stored. I’m not an expert on love. All I know is what happens, but now I love you. When I look at a goat and think of a joke. I love you. When I see a cactus and write a poem, I love you. When I sleep and dream of going shopping, I love you. I can’t explain the why or how of my love, just the what. I can talk about the what all day. I love you
I’m going in circles and not ending anywhere, but we need to move in together. You need to finish up the semester and then we will go from there. We need to discuss this together, I understand. My opinion is set. Maybe if I take another pill my ideas will change. I feel like I am typing this on top of a mountain. I feel like my house has been transported to the top of a mountain and the clouds are all around me right now. The faster I type the farther my computer screen moves away.
I will take another pill.I just took another pill and my hand spiders seem to be moving just as well as before. My hand spiders love the medication. My hand spiders will soon know to love [REDACTED]. I love [REDACTED], and I will move in with her. Together we will go to school and work. I will study engineering and she will study medical. It looks like what I type has become a long metallic chain all neatly packed together.
[REDACTED] will use my car and I will teach her how to drive. Maybe we will save up enough for her to get a new car. There is an ocean behind my laptop. [REDACTED] will then drive herself to work and to school. We will go to school together. I will be happy, but some days I will be sad. Even though we have everything we need, it will still be hard. That is the human condition, to lead a hard life. I love [REDACTED] and I want to live this through her. It feels like a spotlight is coming out of my eyes as I type these words. The screen is very bright right now. So bright that it looks like I am in a pool.
I am about to jump off the block. I dive into the water. I stay under as long as I can, kicking for maximum speed. I hit the other wall and spin around, pushing off as hard as I can. Now is the most important part of the race. I swing my arms and pump my legs as hard as I can. My lungs are burning for air. I can win. I CAN WIN! I touch the wall and look at the scoreboard. Jimmy Smith from Blue Valley beat me by .0026 of a second. I can’t take it anymore. This was supposed to be MY game. Who even let Jimmy in? Of course HE was going to win. I should have won. I- what is that? Jimmy is being disqualified? I won, I won. I… I should take another pill.
[REDACTED] is the most important person I have never met. She will continue to be important for the rest of her life. I need her to be that way, and so does she. But, what does that say about me? I’m just a guy who has money and a talent for math. Sure, I can solve your polynomial equation in under a minute, but I can’t help you deal with the loss of your mother. I’m sorry, dude.
My eyes scan this page and see nothing but white. All I have written is white. I am white, so why else would it matter. My arms are tingling and pumping at the same time. My head feels clouded. Maybe I should take another pill. I will take another pill. I spilt a cool splash of water down my shirt, moments before I was balancing a small pill on my tongue. I feel cold. I feel alive. I feel depressed. Is the medication working? Will [REDACTED] and I move in together? Only the end of this story will know. Only then will the end be the end and not the end of the end, but the end of our ending the end.
[REDACTED] is like a beautiful cactus. She has flowers that outline her beauty. The flowers themselves are not that impressive, but just the fact that she tries is truly amazing. She is in a dessert of emotion. She is emotions, that is all she ever was. She stands before us a hard bodied emotion pile. Everyone would want to tap into her stockpile, but we can’t. She is covered in deadly thorns. She chooses to use these thorns on anyone she sees fit. She will not hesitate to poke you. One poke could mean death. She poked me, and that is why I am dead. As I write these words I am dead.
Thinking about [REDACTED] makes me worried. I don’t know what is best for her? Is it possible that what is best for her is also best for me? My arms are as heavy as the sun. I cannot lift one arm without first stopping all concentration on the other. My hand spiders are more like hand toads. They look like toads. My hands are toads. I love [REDACTED]. I can’t help her from where I am. I need to be close to help her. If I take another pill, will that help her? I will take another pill right now, so I can help her.
My anxiety is on red alert. I have to pee very bad because of all the water I have been drinking but, I do not want to stop typing. The pill has motivated my spider frogs to leap me a web of words in order to soothe the beast that is [REDACTED].
[REDACTED] is a beast. She is an amazing beast. She is the first beast I have ever known to love me.
I know [REDACTED] loves me. Love is confusing. I am going to go to the bathroom and take another pill.
I was a pissing balloon. The piss stream was so powerful it knocked me into the ceiling. I just waited there, in the ceiling. I thought about how [REDACTED] would react to seeing me this way. After all, we will be living in with each other. What will she think we she realizes I pee from the ceiling after taking these pills? These pills. Are they making me happier? Do I feel different? I am not sure. All I know is that I need to help [REDACTED]. I need to save her. Who knows if she wants it or if she will accept it, but I have got to try. My words look like they are a man running in the snow. Hahaha.
[REDACTED]. I love you. I love everything about you. There is nothing you can do that would make me want to leave you. All you can do is frustrate and irritate me, but that is why I love you.My hands are black and have claws. They look like the hands of an imp. I am evil. [REDACTED] please do not run away. We need to discuss this. [REDACTED]. Moving in together will be a beneficial idea.
Madness. I have slipped into madness. There is no reason that [REDACTED] would ever escape her life for me. I’m not even worth half of her time. If I take another pill maybe I will feel better about it. I just took 2 pills and find it strange to breathe. I will just continue writing what needs to be written. I feel like I am standing on top of a marble circle wearing chariot army. I feel like there is another person sitting next to me. I don’t know what his name is. I would ask but he isn’t quite looking this direction. I love [REDACTED], but she doesn't love me and that makes me sad. I shall have another pill to cure my sadness. I took a small pill this time. The small pills are odd. I don’t know why they are so small. Maybe they put them that way to trick you? They are supposed to make anxiety go away but I am as anxious as ever. [REDACTED] is in danger and I’m the only one who cares enough to save her, but I blew it. [REDACTED] doesn't want my help. [REDACTED] wants to do it herself. [REDACTED] thinks I am stinky. I can’t help what I smell like, but I can help her. I can help you [REDACTED].
Whatever it is that these pill do, it doesn't make sense to me. I shall have another pill because I still feel nothing. Down with the pill goes my relationship with [REDACTED]. I loved her another, but she left be a dollar. I guess [REDACTED] is done. I don’t know what she has with her, but its not me. She has nothing for me. She wants to kiss and slip. I want to stare and muscle some more. Why did I call this upon her head. Maybe I should take another pill? That way I can feel [REDACTED] once more.
Once more is the term I use for many things. I use it for my cars. I use it for my trucks. I use it for my height. What is in the river tonight? The birds and the bees! The apples in the bushes, tonight.
[REDACTED] was only a memory. A memory on a hill. I will always consider her my lover, but I can’t love what’s gone. What was her name? [REDACTED]. Liquidate my feelings for her. Take another pill. I am slowly seeing all black.. It feels like something is floating next to my head, yet nothing is there. Where am I? The window is closed but I feel wind. This is me now, for free. I can’t explain it but I love her. I love [REDACTED]. I want to help [REDACTED]. [REDACTED] doesn't need me. The text man walks across the windy desert only to be taken back to where he just was. My leg is looking at me. His face is blank but his eyes are holes. Why would [REDACTED] pass this up? Maybe the pills can answer me. I shall take another pill.
My arms are strange. My insides are bubbly. I just want to help her. I just want to do my best to help. Her life and mine could combine to make life-a-saurus Rex We would be unstoppable. Looking to my left right now I see the Vietnamese rainforest after getting shot and killed by many battles. I am in the jungle and my computer is my only light source. What am I reading? Behind me, on the wall is something but I can’t turn around to see it. If I let go of my laptop I will let go of myself. I will take another pill and [REDACTED] will come back. That is all I need, [REDACTED]. I take another pill
Who knows what these things actually do. All I know is that they are not working. I am depressed and I miss everyone.I can feel my skin. I can just feel it moving around my spiders. My frog spiders that leap from the keys. It looks like I am typing a dragon, everything I type is now in the shape of a dragon. A snow dragon. Ice; EVERYWHERE. I think it is pretty impressive. Not as impressive as my true love, [REDACTED]. What I would do to fix it all for her. It would be so easy for her to do, just grab my hand. Together we can do whatever you want, at no expense.
I am staring at a lake.
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