(Mis)adventures in social media -

[Christ-Chan]

Have you ever signed up for a dating site only to quickly realize you might have gotten more than you bargained for? Is there this one guy on Facebook who somehows manages to comment on every single picture of a girl he can find? Did you answer an ad on Craig's List and on the drive back home you still felt the presence of the reek of weed emmiting from his house?

OKCupid, Twitter, Imgur, Reddit, Tumblr - I want to hear your stories about adventures in social media! And don't worry about censoring any part of the story that you feel should be kept private; I think we all understand that there are some things that you don't want to expose on an internet forum, so just give us the gist of it. You also shouldn't feel obliged to post screen caps or anything like that - a good story is a good story, the format is secondary.

To kick things off, I just received this little bit of charming sunshine in my PM inbox on another site (the translation is mine):

(no, I did not "get in touch" with him)

 

[Globe]

Man, how is a smokin' hot hunk like that still a virgin?

 

[Carlson]

I had one weirdo systematically go through and like every single picture I ever uploaded on Facebook.

Every. Single. One.

I think my pictures are in the quadruple digits.

 

[Axiom]

Took a modelling job for a guy I met through a network for models and photographers and the like, and it turned out to be hands down the creepiest creep I have ever worked with. He wasn't too weird the first day, just aloof (as some photographers are). The second day he wanted me to pose with his BDSM slave and they obviously had the assumption that it would turn into a three-way or else got their jollies at the thought of involving an unwitting audience. It culminated in some completely uninvited inappropriate groping and the guy took his pants off AND HAD THE WOMAN BLOW HIM WHILE STILL TAKING PICTURES. Then she tried to kiss me with a mouthful of this guy's navy.

Absolutely the most insane thing that's ever happened to me.

 

[Christ-Chan]

I had one weirdo systematically go through and like every single picture I ever uploaded on Facebook.

Every. Single. One.

I think my pictures are in the quadruple digits.

I've seen several cases of a guy creeping on any girl that seems emotional, having never talked to her before he'll sweep in and go "I'm here if you want to talk, I undestand ", sometimes even providing a phone number. I can't imagine what their day-to-day lives must be like

 

[Zim]

I had one weirdo systematically go through and like every single picture I ever uploaded on Facebook.

Every. Single. One.

I think my pictures are in the quadruple digits.

I've seen several cases of a guy creeping on any girl that seems emotional, having never talked to her before he'll sweep in and go "I'm here if you want to talk, I undestand ", sometimes even providing a phone number. I can't imagine what their day-to-day lives must be like

You mean girls don't want to talk about their personal lives to total strangers?

These kind of guys most likely are the "forever alone" guys who can't figure out why girls don't like them as more then friends even though they're "so in touch with their feelings".

 

[Dr. Mario]

Took a modelling job for a guy I met through a network for models and photographers and the like, and it turned out to be MANOS down the creepiest creep I have ever worked with. He wasn't too weird the first day, just aloof (as some photographers are). The second day he wanted me to pose with his BDSM slave and they obviously had the assumption that it would turn into a three-way or else got their jollies at the thought of involving an unwitting audience. It culminated in some completely uninvited inappropriate groping and the guy took his pants off AND HAD THE WOMAN BLOW HIM WHILE STILL TAKING PICTURES. Then she tried to kiss me with a mouthful of this guy's navy.

Absolutely the most insane thing that's ever happened to me.

What a weirdo, but-- did you kiss her?!


For me, well, I don't have a great story like that, but there was this kid whose added me on Facebook because of a mutual friend, I accepted because he was into the same video games as me at the time. Well, no matter how obvious was the things people talk to him, he just didn't understand and we've had to repeat the same thing a million times. One time during night he called me on Facebook (nngh! that noise!!) while I was trying to get laid and I told him I was busy at the time and had to hang out. He called three times right after that and asking the same thing (I think it was something about Paper Mario). After that day, I just got rid of him and after that never accepted friend request that I wasn't expecting.

 

[Surtur]

Have you ever signed up for a dating site only to quickly realize you might have gotten more than you bargained for? Is there this one guy on Facebook who somehows manages to comment on every single picture of a girl he can find? Did you answer an ad on Craig's List and on the drive back home you still felt the presence of the reek of weed emmiting from his house?

OKCupid, Twitter, Imgur, Reddit, Tumblr - I want to hear your stories about adventures in social media! And don't worry about censoring any part of the story that you feel should be kept private; I think we all understand that there are some things that you don't want to expose on an internet forum, so just give us the gist of it. You also shouldn't feel obliged to post screen caps or anything like that - a good story is a good story, the format is secondary.

To kick things off, I just received this little bit of charming sunshine in my PM inbox on another site (the translation is mine):
http://i.imgur.com/k2EA3FX.png

(no, I did not "get in touch" with him)

Obviously, its because he lacks an amazing Beard.

 

[Himawari]

Every so often I'll sign into Miiverse and see that my notifications have EXPLODED because some kid on Animal Crossing found my account and went through and "yeah"ed every single one of my drawings and text posts that I've ever made.

That's all that comes to mind right now, but I'm sure something even wackier has happened to me at some point...

 

[Christ-Chan]

Not a personal experience but Facebook really is just as weird as any dating site out there.

Spoiler

 

[Surtur]

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

 

[Dollars2010]

Not a personal experience but Facebook really is just as weird as any dating site out there.

Spoiler

http://i.imgur.com/BhtM1FJ.png

Now that's just creepy.

 

[Carlson]

Fuckin' Leo.

I saw something like that on a 16-year-old girl's Facebook. I wish I could dig it up again.

 

[Axiom]

Another one:

A guy I met on a dating site years ago was a textbook stereotype Forever Alone guy--a socially retarded, gaming-obsessed NEET who lived with his parents at 29. He told me he HAD had a girlfriend before, but it turned out she was an online 'girlfriend' that he'd never met. After two dates, there was zero spark and I told him that. But I was also in a new state and didn't know anyone so I told him we could still hang out. BAD IDEA. He latched onto that as hope that I would one day change my mind since we met on a dating site it obviously meant that at some point I was going to HAVE to date him. Or something. I don't know what thought process was involved.

The last time I saw him, I'd invited him to a Renaissance Faire and had a fun enough day out because I fucking love those things. But I kept rebuffing his advances all day and telling him not to touch me, and when we got back to my car (I was his ride), he decided it was totally okay to reach over and grab my boob and pinch my nipple. His excuse was, 'It was just sticking up, I just HAD to do it!'

I read him the riot act about how you never touch someone without invitation, especially someone who keeps saying STOP TRYING TO TOUCH ME. He told me I'd 'misinterpreted' what he did and that no other woman had ever gotten mad at him for doing that--to which I said, BULLSHIT, I BET THEY ALL MIND IT, THEY'RE JUST NOT BALLSY ENOUGH TO FUCKING YELL AT YOU LIKE I DID.

It was a very tense drive home, the entirety of which he spent NOT GETTING why I was upset. He actually asked me what 'we' were doing when we got back, and I just told him that he was going home ALONE. And when I dropped him off, he asked, 'Where's my hug?'

He really, REALLY did not get it.

The next day he called me at 6am (I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU GET ME UP THAT EARLY) to ask if I was still upset and once again reiterate that he meant nothing by it, I was oversensitive and had 'misinterpreted' his 'innocent gesture' and was overreacting. I hung up on him. He called back. I told him to go fuck himself.

I'm genuinely surprised I didn't hear from him after that.

ALSO: That Leo dude is incredibly creepy. I hope it's a troll.

 

[Christ-Chan]

Oh, and I came to think of something that actually happened to me that is not creepy or sexual, just really awkward.

A friend called me and said he wanted to play some board game that weekend, but we couldn't play it just by ourselves so we needed to find some other players. School was out at the time so all our classmates were gone away but I had the brilliant idea to just use the Internet - the Internet is never wrong after all! I posted a message on a site asking if anyone in the area would like to play and I got a response from this girl who said she'd love to join. Great! We exchanged phone numbers and leading up to the weekend I had the great privelege of listening to every detail of her love-life. She was pregnant and the father had left her as soon as he found out. She hooked up with this other guy, but when she went to the bathroom after a night of, shall we call it, "passion" he bolted and she never heard from him again. This went on and on and I was starting to dread letting this woman into my house.

The weekend came and my friend and this lady showed up and from the minute she saw me she wouldn't shut up. Literarely. She talked non-stop and we soon got so tired of listening to her we stopped replying to anything she said other than by nodding our heads but I honestly think she didn't even notice. After about an hour I had to get a beer and my friend, who rarely ever drank and who I had only seen drunk once over the past two years, looked me in the eyes for a second and then told me "yeah, I'lll have one of those too". She drove him to drinking just by talking, it was amazing.

When we could finally escort her to the pram home she, for the first time, aknowledged that we weren't really participating in her monologues and said "boy, you two are really quiet". "The same can't be said for you." "I know, I'm awesome." "Yeah."

Just before we saw her off she actually asked a question, rather than just babbling relentlessly, and wondered what we liked to do in our free time. My friend said he liked StarCraft 2 and she gave him a blank stare. "That is so stupid" - her reaction after letting him say something for the first time that evening.

We made a pact never to invite the Internet again.

 

[Carlson]

Reading internet dating stories makes me very, very glad I'm not a girl. You chicks get the lion's share of the creeps.

 

[Christ-Chan]

Reading internet dating stories makes me very, very glad I'm not a girl. You chicks get the lion's share of the creeps.

Girls can be plenty creepy too.
One started messaging me out of the blue and after like two PMs she wanted my number and my Kik username. I offered Skype as a compromise, since I had a bad feeling about her but I can never stand my ground and say no. She was just as crazy as I had thought, but then the next morning I woke up to a text from a strange number. "lol i found you <3". This did not amuse me.

She started calling me in the middle of the night and she'd send like five texts in an hour without getting any responses. "Look at my shoes", "I should sleep with this guy", "oops, I might be pregnant lol", "is chlamydia bad?".

After she called me in the night, woke up my dog who in turn woke up the rest of the house I told her to delete my number and she said she'd "try". She left me alone after that though.

 

[Christ-Chan]

Those Goddarn kids!

Some some of those goshdarn kids and their shares and their likes made this (positively ferucious) condemnation of the mainstream:

which minutes later was followed by this:

It's a little bit mean, but let's see if we can find and contradictions in this young posters offerings:
1) "You say pink/We say black" - okay, I dig it, hardcore as heck - vs "Don't always wear black". Soo... "They" say pink and you say "Black but also kinda pink"?
2) "You say emo/We say fallen angel" - this might be considered a technicality, but compare to "Don't worship Satan [in other words the fallen angel]" and it get's a bit wishy-washy. "We don't worship him, you know, we just sort of consider ourselves to be kindred spirit.
3) "Oh you have a fangroup" - a bit snarky and condemning. What is our thoughts two minutes later? "Are usually Nice people". This poinst is arguable, but bringing up how "oh, we just totally happenen to be an army so you pussies in your 'groups' should watch out!" is qualifiable as being "nice".
4) On one side an entire list which entire point is to illustrate how they and the "normies" are nothing alike vs the message that they "Are normal just like you".

I think this list is less about being "emo" or "normal" and more about saying "I am better than you but also I am super-nice and a good person", regardless of what "crew" you "hang" with.

 

[WiseOldBadger]

Another one:

A guy I met on a dating site years ago was a textbook stereotype Forever Alone guy--a socially retarded, gaming-obsessed NEET who lived with his parents at 29. He told me he HAD had a girlfriend before, but it turned out she was an online 'girlfriend' that he'd never met. After two dates, there was zero spark and I told him that. But I was also in a new state and didn't know anyone so I told him we could still hang out. BAD IDEA. He latched onto that as hope that I would one day change my mind since we met on a dating site it obviously meant that at some point I was going to HAVE to date him. Or something. I don't know what thought process was involved.

The last time I saw him, I'd invited him to a Renaissance Faire and had a fun enough day out because I fucking love those things. But I kept rebuffing his advances all day and telling him not to touch me, and when we got back to my car (I was his ride), he decided it was totally okay to reach over and grab my boob and pinch my nipple. His excuse was, 'It was just sticking up, I just HAD to do it!'

I read him the riot act about how you never touch someone without invitation, especially someone who keeps saying STOP TRYING TO TOUCH ME. He told me I'd 'misinterpreted' what he did and that no other woman had ever gotten mad at him for doing that--to which I said, BULLSHIT, I BET THEY ALL MIND IT, THEY'RE JUST NOT BALLSY ENOUGH TO FUCKING YELL AT YOU LIKE I DID.

It was a very tense drive home, the entirety of which he spent NOT GETTING why I was upset. He actually asked me what 'we' were doing when we got back, and I just told him that he was going home ALONE. And when I dropped him off, he asked, 'Where's my hug?'

He really, REALLY did not get it.

The next day he called me at 6am (I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU GET ME UP THAT EARLY) to ask if I was still upset and once again reiterate that he meant nothing by it, I was oversensitive and had 'misinterpreted' his 'innocent gesture' and was overreacting. I hung up on him. He called back. I told him to go fuck himself.

I'm genuinely surprised I didn't hear from him after that.

ALSO: That Leo dude is incredibly creepy. I hope it's a troll.

Well Axiom, I guess now you really know how Meghan Schroeder felt. And the hell he "misinterpreted" anything.

I tend to stay away from internet dating sites. I am girlfriend free at the present but I just feel meeting people IRL seems the safest, least strange, and most reliable way to go.

 

[Axiom]

That's not even the first time I've had people (guys AND girls) get much too grabby and not understand why I was upset and even pulling the 'misinterpret' card on me. Megan and I could be bosom buddies and bond over our shared traumatic experiences.

The difference being that I tell mine as 'THIS ONE TIME SOMETHING INSANE HAPPENED' stories. Megan probably still has to take Xanax because of Chris.