Monster Energy Drinks: Battle Royale Edition -


  • Original (Green)

    Votes: 23 17.8%
  • Lo-Carb (Blue)

    Votes: 15 11.6%
  • Assualt (Red)

    Votes: 8 6.2%
  • Khaos (Orange)

    Votes: 4 3.1%
  • Mixxxed (Purple)

    Votes: 5 3.9%
  • M-80 (Yellow)

    Votes: 4 3.1%
  • Rehab (Gold)

    Votes: 5 3.9%
  • Zero Ultra

    Votes: 47 36.4%
  • Pipeline Punch

    Votes: 12 9.3%
  • Mean Bean (Java)

    Votes: 10 7.8%
  • Dub Edition

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Vanilla Light (Java)

    Votes: 2 1.6%
  • Monster Lewis Hamilton

    Votes: 3 2.3%
  • Doctor

    Votes: 1 0.8%
  • Ultra Red

    Votes: 8 6.2%
  • Mango Loco

    Votes: 21 16.3%
  • Ultra Black

    Votes: 5 3.9%
  • Mad Dog (Punch)

    Votes: 5 3.9%
  • Monster Energy Punch

    Votes: 10 7.8%

    Votes: 14 10.9%

  • Total voters

Monster is nasty af. I can tolerate the original one, but I'd rather nearly OD on a few Five Hour Energy if I need some kind of boost that bad.

On the bright side, it's brought NEETs and rednecks together, so that's something. :optimistic::heart-full::optimistic:

alpro slut
haven't been able to find rehab for ages now, the tea + lemonade combo was fantastic. the ultras are pretty okay

Zero Ultra for days. It's taste is so refreshing when ice cold and puzzle piece alert the textured can is nice to stim on. Also it's the nectar of the boomer gods.


Keeper of the Sacred Windows Vista.
If there is one thing that unites us all it's the great taste and kick of the king of beverages, Monster Energy. You might just think it's just for us "olds" to enjoy as we fire up our gaming rigs, perform some yardwork on the weekend or engage in recreational activities with our peers. But you'd be dead wrong! Don't just take my word for it, listen to what this dapper young lad thinks:

But who shall be crowned the Monarch of the Monster! Vote here to find out once and for all!
I wish I could vote, but I haven't touched a Monster in over a year. None of the named ones on the list are ones I drink. I swore off that can of a sad excuse of caffeine and sugar cancer for something more real, Bang.

JM 590

That new Swiss Chocolate Java Monster's not bad, it tastes like a thinner version of the chocolate Monster Muscle
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Schmuck in Scrubs
True & Honest Fan
A drunk Monster rep told me I need to try Reign. Which isn't actually Monster, but still.

Anyone try it yet?


Take it off the rack, if it's wack put it back
I used to chug that stuff til' I got my first heart palpitation. Now I'm off the sauce.

Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
Of the Monster varieties I've tried, only White Dragon Tea Rehab really stands out to me as excellent. Irish Blend Java is good but overly sweet. Ultra Sunrise is good but I can't handle that much carbonation first thing in the morning. Ultra Red is very nice but again, too fizzy.

I actually prefer non-Monster energy drinks (partly because Monster's fucking expensive) where I can get them. I've lately started buying this Colorado brand called Petey's which is extremely tasty with a caffeine load similar to Red Bull.

Angry Shoes

Red Wire: Right Temple, Black Wire: Left Temple
True & Honest Fan
The original green tastes pretty good, but it's almost to 'syrup-y' and I feel like the energy boost is evened out by the sugar crash. I usually get the blue low-carb or the blue absolutely zero.

Or a Red Bull
  • Autistic
Reactions: Terminus Est

Sprig of Parsley

Damnation dignified
Just bought a case of this, it tastes like a pina colada. It's very pineapple heavy at first but then it fades into a lighter more neutral taste, No medicine aftertaste, also the can has etched birds and other rainforesty stuff in the motif.
I seriously get a kind of generic melon candy taste note from Ultra Paradise. As a general rule I love the Ultra cans and whoever designed them deserves a fucking award.

Also, tried the new Monster Yerba Mate Dragon Tea flavor today. Interesting, a bit earthy and slightly pungent, but pleasantly so. Won't go in my favorites but it's not terrible.


Red Apple yumyum
i used to drink OG monster all the time when i was playing PC all night with friends. not drinken a monster drink for years until a few days ago after my dad bought a bunch real cheap. so far, im loving the mango one the most next to the pacific punch.

the ultra zero one is not bad either memes aside.
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glow in the dark animals

animals that could be glowing in the dark
My favorite monster is the regular sugar free monster, it tastes like the lo carb, but has actually no sugar!! It looks really similar to the lo carb can too. If they didn't have that, I'd go with lo carb.