Mook-bong | Veggie Bagel Burgers | Eat with Me - 02/06/20

DefCon Dumb

Confronter of Cryptoid Cuntiness
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
She says she eats large quantities to keep her 'fool', Gorl, you don't need any help to remain a fool.

She announces she's going to mix up her food to keep us from being bored". Ummm… she still hasn't grasped that food, especially HER food is not a scintillating topic for any reason, on any grounds. It's FOOD; not the Fountain of Youth or an unending supply of gold coins or cute kittens. It's just... food and horrible looking food at that.

How can she be 'mindful' of her food & eating it when she's addressing the camera. Isn't mindful eating supposed to be where you focus ON the food, deliberately slow yourself down & all that?

Her eating isn't 'triggering' or any of the cute words she used... it's flat out revolting. She wishes weight loss channels did mukbangs. Those that start doing those turn into weight gain channels... "Earth to Amber - anybody home in there?"

Eating alone. She explained in her last 1 that her housemates have different schedules. 3 housemates, including her Significant Other, yet she's always eating alone. No one will even sit with her periodically & keep her company while she's eating?

Twice now, she's mentioned having a list of topics to talk about while doing her food frenzies. She needs to be told that carrots aren't a topic, neither are bagels, or mukbangs & mukbangers or calories or portions. That's ONE topic - food. It's clear that as time passes, she's doing less & less, leaving her with fewer things to talk about.

How about an update, (snort!), on her resolutions or intentions, as she prefers to call them? She's only - sort of - kept 2. She started a new Instagram with what; 2 entries? And she certainly isn't worrying about making good videos.
 

Situation Type Deal Gorl

Fuck your feelings, nancypants
kiwifarms.net
Her posture is so horrific in these videos, hunched over her food like goddamn Gollum.
My precioussssss.

Someone need to photoshop this.

I know she said her and Becky eat at different times but like, why don’t you eat a meal with your partner once in a while? Her and Becky could be having fun, cooking together, doing something nice. But nope. They’re like acquaintances at this point.

Also her skin in that thumbnail. And that face crease/smile line. God.
I can imagine the scene: two fat dumbasses in the kitchen. Beggy trying to read a nutrition label on a can out loud - because Big Al has to watch her sodiums - and Big Al rooting through the fridge, throwing random crap over her shoulder in the general direction of the one pot that everything will bee cooked in, then snatching the can from Beggy, who still hasn't made it all the way through the label, opening it, and dumping it into the pot, which by now is churning like the bottom of Niagara Falls, over the highest heat setting the stove has,. While they're boiling everything to death and then sitting at the table eating their slop, they desperately reach into their thimble brains, trying to find anything to sustain something remotely akin to a conversation. Finished with their food, they both heave sighs of relief, dump their dishes in the sink, and retire to pillow mountain for more reruns of "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?".

Gotta be honest here, I'd watch the shit out of that for the lulz factor.


I see the Apple watch is, once again, nowhere to be found.
 
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SituationTypeThing

kiwifarms.net
Her face is so puffy and bloated. She's totally on the weight gain train: next stop 600lb city.

She wanted to go off freshly so she could learn portion size and how to cook things for herself. Sure Amber. She's back to her old ways of eating, same portion sizes, nothing homemade.

For some reason, she thinks vegetarian/vegan = healthy and low cal, when really all it means is no meat/animal product included.

She could have cut the veggie patty in half and had half on each bagel half. Or she could have had only one (which is the serving size, and a serving size is a serving size, it doesn't change for big gorls, it is what it is) and eaten it like a sandwich. She could have scooped the bagel, I don't know how many calories that saves, or used bagel thins.

I added up the calories, and while it might seem like a hulthy meal for a hulthy girl... it's really not great. By my estimate, she had 710 calories, and a shitton of sodium (I stopped after the veggie burgers, because 2 patties puts her at nearly 800mg sodium).

Morningstar farms garden veggie burgers - 110 calories per serving, she had 2 servings
Standard bagel - 250 calories
Almond NutThins, lightly salted - 130 calories per serving (19 crackers - I didn't count but I doubt she had fewer than a serving)
Laughing Cow Cheese - 30 calories per wedge, she had 2
Baby Carrots - estimated 50 calories (I didn't count how many she had)

Total: 710 calories (assuming she didn't nibble on another portion of NutThins and Laughing Cow while microwaving her veggie burgers)

It's not terrible when you consider it's half the calories of a whopper meal. But it's not a portion controlled, smart meal for a dieter. She keeps saying she wants/needs to feel super full, but isn't that the exact behavior she's supposed to be changing? (rhetorical question, Amber is just LARPing being a dieter on videos, her bloated face tells us she's not really dieting).

ETA: amber and amy should become weight loss partners, they speak the same mangled language and each would be too focused on crafting their own justifications for gluttony to listen to/call out the other on theirs.
 
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Strawberry Pocky

If anybody needs me, I'll be in the Angry Dome.
kiwifarms.net
For someone who finds her only joy in eating, ALR's food always looks so sad and colorless.
1) Bigass Hamber finds NO joy in eating, jot that down. No joy, only mind numbing sensations of fullness and blanking out the buzzing of the world around her/her dumb monkey brain noises
2) The sad and colourless food is the stuff she is chosing to show you on camera, the sloppy, disgusting swill that she play-pretends at and fakes. All the bright and colourful fast food wrappers and junk food packages are hidden under pillow mountain


Once upon a time there was a PC game called Phantasmagoria. At one point in the game there was a flashback scene of a guy killing his wife. Her name was Regina. Fat Amber's thumbnail made me have a flashback to that game and that scene, and I searched for it on Youtube and it's there in all it's ickiness. I won't link to it because it's a little off topic here and likely to get taken off YT if anyone notices how not-exactly-kid-friendly it is.

Also, she is dirty. Those knuckles, the fingernails, the hair? Ew.
Unrelated AF but kudos for 10/10 taste in games my dude

And here we see the physical evidence that those 50 pounds are coming back
lmao implying any weight was ever lost in the first goddamn place at all
 

a llama weighs 450lbs

amber's hump #1 fan
kiwifarms.net
her thoughts and opinions on mookbongs alone is enough to have her institutionalized

she has to eat everything on her plate because she already counted the calories sooo... 200 IQ right there

these are new slippers and the heels are already that worn out? what the fuck amber? is that her ankle rolls wearing them down?
Screen Shot 2020-02-07 at 2.42.58 AM.png

they're super cute amber, we totes need to see them on
 

Plague Dog

kiwifarms.net
Does anyone know how her million step goal is going? It's been a month.

Total: 710 calories (assuming she didn't nibble on another portion of NutThins and Laughing Cow while microwaving her veggie burgers)

It's not terrible when you consider it's half the calories of a whopper meal. But it's not a portion controlled, smart meal for a dieter
But if she ate like this three times a day, the weight would just slide off her. Her bmr at 519 is over 3000 (assuming she's 5'3"?) 2100 would be a substantial deficit than that already and even her sedentary lifestyle burns a few hundred more calories. She could get down to about 320 just off of 2100 calories a day.

I'd argue that even real dieters shouldn't be too miserable, but amberlynn isn't a normal dieter. She just needs to learn how to eat like a human.
 

amberLAH

Sometimes my breathing gets a little wonk
kiwifarms.net
This bitch really flexed her weight loss then did three mukbangs in a row.
It feels like it has been a long time since her last indignant, smug, Cuntylynn phase. I’ve been waiting for the momentum of “muh 52 elbees” to come crashing down in a patronizing mukbang. I think they rehired the writers of the shrimpgate saga this season.
 

AmbiTron

Fronting: Rak Wrathraiser
kiwifarms.net
It feels like it has been a long time since her last indignant, smug, Cuntylynn phase. I’ve been waiting for the momentum of “muh 52 elbees” to come crashing down in a patronizing mukbang. I think they rehired the writers of the shrimpgate saga this season.
I've heard a few references to Shrimpgate, but I haven't followed this person long. Where might I acquire more information on this subject?
 
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Zappazappa

kiwifarms.net
Jesus fuck....this goddamn pig doesn't learn. She must be not making as much as usual...the feeder porn is her cash grab.... fucking hell, someone tell Hamburger-Lynn she could be a fat fuck chat "model" and make more being a swine.


(Kinda a-loggy but it just blows my mind someone can be so stupid, fat and disgusting...)
 

a bootiful jung woman

Checkmate, I WHISPER
kiwifarms.net
I've heard a few references to Shrimpgate, but I haven't followed this person long. Where might I acquire more information on this subject?
Take a look at the videos on Obese to Beast's channel directed at Amber (there are three or so), and then watch her shrimp mukbang from around the same time. Then her follow up videos.
 
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