Most comfy lolcow lifestyle? -

Gar For Archer

kiwifarms.net
I'd say brianna wu but I'd rather not get fucked up the ass but some tiny asian man.

At the end of the day Chris's life isn't THAT terrible save for the idea guy saga. Like if I still have my mind and just the physical limitations of chris, it wouldn't be the end of the world
If you had your mind but the physical and financial limitations of Chris, how long would it take to turn his life around?
 

Syaoran Li

They're Coming To Get You, Barbara!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
One of the main reasons that Chris got so much hate is that his situation was seen as largely correctable. He had a pretty comfy situation and it wouldn't have taken much at all to turn it all around. But that's the part that a lot of people didn't get. Chris isn't a normal person, so it was never going to happen. Put someone else in his shoes though, and they'd have a real shot at a pretty nice little life.

Another issue with Chris is the fact he has to live with Barb in the Hoard. If Chris had a bit more willpower and a bit more intellect, he'd have left Barb and the hoard a long time ago.

But if Chris had a modicum of willpower or an IQ above 90, then he wouldn't be Chris.
 

MightyBiteySnake

DEPRESSED SNAKE DEPRESSED SNAKE
kiwifarms.net
If you had your mind but the physical and financial limitations of Chris, how long would it take to turn his life around?
At this point there's only so much you CAN turn around and I guess I didn't consider there's still Barb to deal with.

Granted she's kind of stupid so a person of average intelligence (which I hope I am at least) should be able to talk her out of her dumb ideas
 

ComeoutandJULAY

BURN BURN BURN TO THE GROUND BU-BURN TO THE GROUND
kiwifarms.net
Arin Hanson's life seems pretty comfy. Just sit on your ass and play video games, and all the moolah and screaming fangirls will soon follow. You don't even have to be good at the games you play. That, and unlike DSP, he has a past as a well-respected Newgrounds animator.

Only downside is being married to someone like Suzy, but it's nothing unmanageable.
 

Street Meat

2 for a dollar!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Abby Brown comes to mind. She lives with her parents who are middle class and retired. She rotates through phases of dangerhair, weird outfits, and spergouts. It would be pretty nice to not have to worry about bills, what I'm going to cook, did I wash my face today? No, none of that matters.
Abby will happily suck down cigarettes in 4 day old crusty makeup and beam the whole time. Plus her dogs are kind of cute.
 

White Girl

Cookie Monster Pjs and Smokes LET'S GO!!
kiwifarms.net
Momokun pre-dickening era was the first person I thought of. She gets paid crazy money and hires her friends to make her cosplay. All she has to do is put on the costume and get her photos taken. It won't last forever but I'd become a las Vegas slumlord with my earnings.
 

Operaghost

Gimmie 20 dollars!
kiwifarms.net
Any Youtuber with 100K+ subs (unless their videos are unmonetized), a lot of them within that range make so much money off of doing something with FAR less responsibility than say a doctor or an engineer, especially the most popular ones like PewdiePie and KSI who just react to shit and get like a million views per video.
 

Just A Butt

are you some sort of mexican?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Any Youtuber with 100K+ subs (unless their videos are unmonetized), a lot of them within that range make so much money off of doing something with FAR less responsibility than say a doctor or an engineer, especially the most popular ones like PewdiePie and KSI who just react to shit and get like a million views per video.
do you even know what a lolcow is?
 

Old Wizard

I'm doing my part!
kiwifarms.net
One of the low-effort SJW munchies from the Munchausen's By Internet thread- maybe Juniper/Howdyitsjunebug, specifically.
Pros: None of the stuff that makes Munchausens dangerous -no tubes, no self-mutilation, no drug addiction- just endlessly LARPing oppression/disability and milking alleged past homelessness HOUSELESSNESS on TikTok while maintaining a comfy white upper-middle-class lifestyle. Shamelessly raking in patreon/e-begging bucks but too NPD to care. You know you have it good when you have to make up all your problems.
Cons: Ugly
There's also one (they're pretty much the only black munchie I've seen, lmk if you know the name) who endlessly begs for money to spend on weed and spa trips. Like, thousands of dollars. Not a bad choice either.
 

contradiction of terns

A windmill will kill many bald eagles
kiwifarms.net
I'd want the life of my personal lolcow, Kiba Spiritstone. She's got those unfortunate Brit genetics, but she only needs to lose about 10-15 pounds to be fairly attractive, and all of her issues come down to her furfaggotry and diaper fetishism. Otherwise she's young, has a wealthy, doting family, and enough artistic talent that she could make a career out of it if she could tone down the insanity and stick to Blender modeling/animation.
 

mr.moon1488

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Probably one of the Ethot cows here. They literally make a fortune by doing absolutely fuck all. DSP may always seem to get out of his money problems catching up to him, but he still does have money problems. Most of the Ethots don't really because they can just flash tits and all their bills are paid.
 

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