Mothering Forum - Breastfeeding, anti-vaxx, and co-sleeping, oh my!

[Piga Dgrifm]

The Mothering forum has been a personal cow of mine for a long time, and I think it's time to share this wonder with the world.

http://www.mothering.com/forum/index.php

On the surface, it seems like an average parenting forum, with advice on preparing for the first day of Kindergarten, dealing with your child's bullying problems, and the like.

But, upon closer inspection, you'll find things that are troubling to say the least. Many of the users are anti-vaccination:

http://www.mothering.com/forum/47-vaccinations/

http://www.mothering.com/forum/47-v...ve-you-ever-created-immunization-records.html

http://www.skepticalob.com/2013/12/...the-anti-vax-nuts-couldnt-sink-any-lower.html

http://www.mothering.com/forum/47-vaccinations/1506105-jesus-pro-vaccine.html

Others participate in Elimination Communication, which involves never putting a diaper on your infant, under some insane delusion that you can tell when they need to go by hand-movements or facial-expressions and stick them onto a potty in time.

http://www.mothering.com/forum/227-elimination-communication/

http://www.mothering.com/forum/227-...51426-help-my-baby-spiteful-toward-me-ec.html

http://www.mothering.com/forum/227-...r-embarrassed-about-having-go-potty-baby.html

http://www.mothering.com/forum/227-.../1506769-ec-hold-too-much-pressure-booty.html

Aside from that, there's Co-Sleeping, which is when you stick your infant in bed with you. I'm sure absolutely nothing horrible could ever come from rolling over in your sleep when there is a newborn baby next to you.

http://www.mothering.com/forum/37-co-sleeping-family-bed/

http://www.mothering.com/forum/37-c...993-cosleeping-newborn-who-can-roll-over.html

http://www.mothering.com/forum/37-c...ildrens-books-portray-co-sleeping-normal.html

http://www.mothering.com/forum/37-c...y-sleep-when-spending-night-someone-else.html

Finally... there's the breastfeeding craziness:

http://www.mothering.com/forum/27-breastfeeding/

http://www.mothering.com/forum/27-b...-problems-blamed-prolonged-breastfeeding.html

http://www.mothering.com/forum/47-vaccinations/1558306-breastfeeding-substitute-vaccines.html

http://www.mothering.com/forum/333-...521-extended-breastfeeding-joint-custody.html

 

[Scrappy]

Elimination communication, huh?

That's a neat concept, but it's pretty fucking gross to read that a lot of them let their kid pee in public restroom sinks, and poop outside in very public places like parking lots. I don't care if it's a baby, that's disgusting.

 

[Dorsia.Reservation]

Oh, these mother fuckers!

I took parenting classes and they had someone from the La Leche League speak.
One of the handouts with support links, listed the mothering forums.
These people are absolutely deranged.

They consider formula feeding child abuse.
Even if you can't due to medical reasons.

 

[ICametoLurk]

http://www.mothering.com/forum/45-w...chlorine-dioxide-mms-eradication-disease.html

http://www.mothering.com/forum/45-w...mineral-solution-mms-anyone.html#post14633364


10/10 parents

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

They consider formula feeding child abuse.
Even if you can't due to medical reasons.

People like that actively piss me off.

Spoiler: Powerlevel

My mom couldn't breast feed, and her older sister went out of her way to harass her about it for years, long after Mom even had a baby young enough to still benefit from breastfeeding.

Vegan boob juice reeing:

http://www.mothering.com/forum/366-vegetarian-vegan/226536-breastmilk-isn-t-vegan.html

IMHO you probably shouldn't raise your kid as a vegan from birth, stuff like that should be their own choice, not yours.

 

[ICametoLurk]

This reminds me but there is one special Motherless user I can think of

http://edition.cnn.com/2013/06/24/us/colorado-transgender-girl-school/

The mom who turned the boy into a girl is named Kathryn Mathis, a woman who has made a career out of parading her various fucked up children around for the media. Before the tranny stuff she took fertility pills to get triplets and home-birthed which ended up causing one of them being dropped to the floor by a midwife thus getting stitches and they are all fucked up mentally.

http://visionarymom.com/an-interview-with-kathryn-mathis/

I am a mom of 4 amazing, wonderful, awesome children (and one on the way!). Dakota is 5 1/2 years old and has Autism. Coy, Max, and Lily are 3 1/2 year old triplets. Coy is our special little neuro-typical child. Max is also on the Autism spectrum. Lily had a very bad brain injury as a 4 month old and is about like having a 1-2 month old baby, but is so much fun (and feisty!). I work full time at home as Lily’s nurse as well as being a professional photographer outside the home. My husband, Jeremy, is a full time student at two colleges and should be done with school in Spring 2012.

http://www.mothering.com/forum/157-special-needs-parenting/958309-now-all-my-kids-therapies.html

Max had his evaluation today and he was "severely delayed in cognitive, social, adaptive, and communicative areas"
No shock. I knew this, they didn't believe me.

So now we've got Lily's nurse here from 8:00-4:30 M-F.
The SLP here from 9-11 Monday (for the girls) and Thursday (for the boys)
The PT from 11-12 Wednesday (for Lily)
The MT from 9-10 either Monday or Thursday (she co-treats) (for Lily)
The Teacher from the Visually Impaired school on Thursday from 12-1 (for Lily)
The OT from 4-6 on Friday (just for the girls right now, but hopefully Max soon)
and some new person, a behavioral therapist or something like that for Max once a week as well.

My house is just a party place! Whoo!

Some more stuff about her, it's been like years since I last read about her

https://stoptranschauvinism.wordpre...-suffering-from-munchausen-syndrome-by-proxy/

 

[Jaded Optimist]

http://www.mothering.com/forum/45-w...chlorine-dioxide-mms-eradication-disease.html



10/10 parents

goddamn it, not these fuckers again.

This also better not be you @Petronella

 

[Petronella]

goddamn it, not these fuckers again.

This also better not be you @Petronella
View attachment 150380

Oh fuck no
No, that's definitely not me, but now I'm dead of laughter lmao

 

[Petronella]

Also, double post, but co sleeping is unbelievably dangerous. Please never ever do it.

Spoiler: powerlevel

A girl I went to high school with decided to try co sleeping with her youngest child because so many people preached to her about how wonderful it was. During the night she rolled over and accidentally crushed the baby to death. Many of the same women who had pushed for her to co sleep then began to shame her for doing it.

 

[Lackadaisy]

Also, double post, but co sleeping is unbelievably dangerous. Please never ever do it.

Spoiler: powerlevel

A girl I went to high school with decided to try co sleeping with her youngest child because so many people preached to her about how wonderful it was. During the night she rolled over and accidentally crushed the baby to death. Many of the same women who had pushed for her to co sleep then began to shame her for doing it.

"Mothers instinctively know NOT to roll over onto their child, even in their sleep!"

 

[The Great Chandler]

Oh, these mother fuckers!

I think you mean 'father fuckers'.

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

Also, double post, but co sleeping is unbelievably dangerous. Please never ever do it.

Spoiler: powerlevel

A girl I went to high school with decided to try co sleeping with her youngest child because so many people preached to her about how wonderful it was. During the night she rolled over and accidentally crushed the baby to death. Many of the same women who had pushed for her to co sleep then began to shame her for doing it.

And if it's not outright murder, it's still a terrible decision because the baby may end up mentally stunted if it survives the night.

It's parenting like this that makes me wonder how humanity is still able to exist in its current form. And as mentioned elsewhere, how these people are even parents to begin with.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

What weirds me out the most is that parents who say they ALWAYS co-sleep, are still having more kids after the first (see; Heather Dowdee/Hathor the Cow Goddess.) How in the hell would you conceive Child 2 without fucking Child 1 up for life if Child 1 is always sharing your bed?

 

[ICametoLurk]

What weirds me out the most is that parents who say they ALWAYS co-sleep, are still having more kids after the first (see; Heather Dowdee/Hathor the Cow Goddess.) How in the hell would you conceive Child 2 without fucking Child 1 up for life if Child 1 is always sharing your bed?

That's the least of their concerns.

http://www.mothering.com/forum/65-childhood-years/1251291-how-old-too-old-skin-skin-3.html

my 8yo would probably love to snuggle up with my boobs, my 15yo would not.

Nakedness is just another state of being in my house. So my kiddos get hugs and snuggles when mommy is naked sometimes and when they are naked. When One or both of us (individual children) no longer feel comfortable it won't happen. I don't normally tend to ask for cuddles when I'm naked, but the kiddos like to hop in bed with us in the morning and we don't wear clothes to bed. Its all about everyone comfort level. I want my kiddos to understand that being naked isn't a taboo issue.

I sleep naked or in underpants. So if DD1 gets in bed with me and DH (who also sleeps in underpants) and SHE is naked (which she often is because she won't stay dressed!) there will be skin to skin. I don't really think that's the same as us both stripping off purposefully to have skin to skin, but whatever.

I still bathe and shower with both DD's, so there is nudity and skin to skin there too.

I have lots of memories of my dad, and some times, because he is a human being and didn't have clothes painted on, he was naked. I'm sure he remembers me naked, especially since he last saw me naked 9.5 weeks ago when he was with me while i had my baby. I remember my mother naked too,

we are a naked family. its dd and me. and we mostly cosleep naked. no one is going to tell me what i should or should not do in my house.

now that's just how it is. doesnt mean we are going for skin to skin time. i mean dd was born in summer and i leaked so much that the first couple fo months i just walked around at home topless because it was useless having to do so much laundry.

dd and i took showers and bath together till she could manage at 5. even now sometimes she invites me to have one with her because we always have so much fun together.

so i would do what is comfortable for you all.

We usually get underwear on right out of the shower so completely naked skin to skin hasn't come up, and I'm not sure how I'd feel, but let's say mommy in undies and kids also in undies, either after bath time or whatever, cuddling in bed is not weird at all.

I am not sure where a naked parent and child would come up after the kids hit adolescence, though. I would have a different opinion of that, because I do think post-pubescent nudity can be sexual and even in the least-clothed cultures they still cover their genitals to some extent. However, hugging your teenagers, even if the male has no shirt on, or you're wearing shorts and tanks? Sitting close on the couch with your daughter's head on your (mom's) bare legs with you in boxers? I think that is fine and normal.

I have hugged my cousin... okay, it was a light hug... but still... when he was wearing no shirt. We were adults. It didn't feel odd. And we're a pretty modest family, but it was hot! I MEAN THE WEATHER WAS HOT. Not my cousin. Ugh. He's not hot at all, actually, probably why it didn't feel uncomfortable. He is pasty!

I do understand that boundaries must be respected when it comes to ANY kind of contact, but i also know little kids screaming out for a bit of physical affection, whose parents think it's "weird" to even cuddle (fully clothed) past the age of about 3. I really worry those children will fall prey to abusers because i fear they will accept loving human contact on ANY TERMS. Abusers can see the signs of a child who is untouched, or have no open dialogue with their parents about bodies, sexuality, etc. And that to me is the danger of NOT being physically available to one's kids. And i guess that's what i'm hoping to be - available. Not pushing anything on anyone, but very open and approachable so that my kids never have to go to someone else to seek contact when they have a need of it.

ETA - i've just been talking to my dad about this (my dad, who i have seen naked and who was with me when i gave birth in June). We were thinking perhaps the reason some on this thread think skin to skin is ok as long as all involved is ok, and some think that the kids CAN'T really be ok with it and there must be some sort of (however subtle) coercion from a parent going on, is cultural...?

I mean, i grew up with my folks being nude around me, and hugs were available, whenever you wanted them. My parents didn't stress about nudity - they didn't encourage or discourage it. I became "private" about my body at about 11 when puberty was in motion, and became more open again when i was about 19 or 20, when i was used to my adult body. My parents were relaxed, i sensed no stress around the situation when nudity was involved. It was ok, it was totally normal to me. I am not damaged by it because i have not internalised the idea that one COULD be damaged by it. Likewise my children haven't, and thus i am confident that i am not traumatising them.

However if i had grown up in a house where nudity was not done, and where everyone was relatively anxious and careful NOT to be seen nude, i'm sure i would, as a child, internalise that anxiety and care and feel genuine trauma if that family taboo was breached and i did see my parents naked.

Like we are relaxed and unconcerned about the DD's seeing us naked, and they are the same, but we are careful NOT to have them see us DTD, and i'm sure if they did our obvious embarrassment over it and how we'd behave WOULD make our kids realise that a boundary had been crossed and thus they might remember it as an adult and cringe.

Obviously it's more complicated than that, because sometimes our friends might tell us how something is not acceptable - thus a child who grew up with nude-and-casual-about-it folks might grow up to feel it was improper.

But is this maybe why some on the thread (me included) can see how nudity or skin to skin with older children CAN be totally harmless, and others suspect that however ok our kids seem there MUST be a problem we are unwilling or unable to see?

 

[Sperglord Dante]

If these weirdos grew up in normal homes and believe all this stupid shit, imagine what's going to happen when their own offspring, raised without any notion of normality, have children of their own?

 

[Petronella]

Here's what I find interesting, in many cases these women who push so much for "skin on skin" and openness about sex and nudity turn out to have also been victims of incest...

 

[Bugaboo]

Letting a baby sleep on something soft and squishy (eg. A bed) can be very dangerous if they're to roll over and they'll end up suffocating in the bed because they don't have the strength to roll back over by themselves. I'm sure there are a few other reasons I don't know (other than you crushing the baby under your fat ass) but there is a reason cribs and beds for toddlers have hard mattresses and not soft ones

 

[Sharonthecat]

Having glanced at the forum, I am not surprised to see it action packed with people trying to find back-assward home remedies for common childhood crap because their snowflakes are TOO SPESHUL to be subjected to the evil doctors. I wish we could deport some of these people who whine and bitch and hate modern medicine and swap them out with parents in poor countries who will never have the ability to access the lifesaving treatment these asshats are screaming about having to endure.

 

[GolgoXIII]

Another bad parenting thing. This is pretty depressing.

The fact that it looks official and is apparently a recommended resource for parents is very troubling. It seems like it would be in bad taste to make a joke about these people, because you'd be essentially making fun of a child's formative years being sabotaged, and the child probably being a little messed up for the rest of their life and requiring psychiatric help to fix the damage done.

Oh my god, I now feel guilty for chuckling at Honey Boo Boo and those Toddlers And Tiaras videos.

 

[Petronella]

What weirds me out the most is that parents who say they ALWAYS co-sleep, are still having more kids after the first (see; Heather Dowdee/Hathor the Cow Goddess.) How in the hell would you conceive Child 2 without fucking Child 1 up for life if Child 1 is always sharing your bed?

Usually they just openly fuck in front of their kids, they figure the kids are too young to understand what Mom and Dad are up to and sometimes the parents try to excuse it by saying it's their way of educating their kids about sex and reproduction.