MUH MENTALS: In which we sperg about whether Amber is the product of a traumatic upbringing or just a natural born cunt -

LatinasAreTheFuture

Supreme Leader of Greater Muttistan
kiwifarms.net
You don’t even have to look at Amber or listen to her to realize some shit happened. All it takes is her mother.
Ask yourself, have you ever met a single good person that smoked meth? Or someone that associates with meth smokers?
I don’t have to listen to amber to tell somebody was really hurting her. And to preempt some stupid bitch telling me that this doesn’t excuse her actions, you are right it doesn’t. That’s why I never made that claim.
 

YOUR MOM

I hate this
kiwifarms.net
Direct result of childhood abandonment. Look up the term “individuation”. She never went through this process, thus you see a 30 something year old woman with no serious goals, no real identity, no long-lasting relationships etc.

Bad parenting can really fuck you up. On some level, I do feel sorry for her. Because I know she will likely die without having found true meaning to her existence. A good psychologist could help sort out her issues, once and for all. But that would require a lot of work and soul searching on her end. To me that’s the tragedy of people like this; They could get help and live fulfilled lives but give up on themselves.
Yes all of this but remember under all that, Amber is a dimwit, a retard, a dummy. Her lack of intelligence can't be entirely blamed on the methheads and the system. She's just plain stupid as well. She was never going to find true meaning anyway.
 

brooky

i'm brecki and so can you
kiwifarms.net
Yes all of this but remember under all that, Amber is a dimwit, a retard, a dummy. Her lack of intelligence can't be entirely blamed on the methheads and the system. She's just plain stupid as well. She was never going to find true meaning anyway.

Nobody is "entirely" blaming it on that, just like nobody is giving her a free pass with it. She's stupid, greedy, selfish, AND had a shitty childhood.

It's a perfect storm for creating Ambers and others like her. She's too stupid to be able to learn anything useful from the trauma, and the trauma kicks any existing narcissism into overdrive.

This is not nature versus nurture. It's nature and nurture working together to make a giant blob of smug stupid awfulness that contributes absolutely nothing positive to the world, and ensures that blob is too selfish to want to change and too stupid to even recognize she should.

Regarding Amber saying she had good foster parents, etc. If she's a liar, why should we trust those claims more than other claims?

And remember that Amber also makes out that she loves Becky and has a great relationship. Her entire perspective on what love is or what a happy family or relationship is is fucked up, so positive claims are just as untrustworthy as claims of abuse.

There's a slight difference between being a liar and being an unreliable narrator, but I believe Amber is bolth.
 

some cunt

fan with a short attention span
kiwifarms.net
Amberlynn isn't completely stupid, she is quite the conniving pig when she wants to be and it's only fuelled further by being a total narcissist. Be it nature or nurture, she was doomed from the moment meth momma chose not to trap her in a condom instead of letting baby daddy go raw.
 

double second

anal spasm
kiwifarms.net
Maybe she has trauma, maybe she’s just a narcissistic asshole. I really don’t know, she lies too much for me to be able to keep up with her shit. But I don’t think it matters. Whether she knows or cares about why, she knows she’s self-destructing and she’s choosing to let it continue. What she doesn’t seem to really understand is that she cannot just deal with her shit later. Like someone with severe OCD (just as an example because it’s the psychopathology I know the most about) is technically able to put off the intensive treatment they need to get better until they feel ready to do it or whatever. Severe OCD is hellish and a person who is opting to put off treatment will suffer for it, and they will probably get even worse, but OCD doesn't kill people like weighing 600 (or 572.4 I guess) pounds will. It’s never too late to get help for stuff like OCD, but it can be too late to help someone like Amber. She refuses to accept that, regardless of what did or didn’t happen to her, she will die if she doesn’t get whatever her psychological problems are under control and lose some weight. And she has to do it fast.

It doesn’t matter what her ~mental things~ are, because she’ll never take responsibility for fixing them regardless of what they are. Maybe she’s a fat narc because she has trauma, maybe she’s a fat narc because she’s just fat and a narc, I don’t care. She’ll never do the work necessary to figure out why she has the problems she has, much less do anything to fix them.
 

Daisy

I have a complicated relationship with Mondays
kiwifarms.net
I believe she had a shit childhood. I believe she has mental problems. And I believe she's milking that shit for every last drop to make sure she never has to take responsibility for anything. This generation of the internet is all about going "but I have autism and depression and my mom used to be mean to me, you can't tell me I'm wrong!!!"
 

Borbie Dahl

Among Which!
kiwifarms.net
Wow! Nature vs nurture is a decent example of an issue that can really be argued from both sides. There isn’t a real answer here, but I’ll throw a few thoughts out there.
I think Amber, as a young girl, was born into a group of immature, unprepared, under educated folks, who had no business throwing lives out into the wild without any stability or training. Impulsive, unbalanced, selfish. I could write a book about what I think of Kristine & George.
As a child & into adolescents Amber is there observing her family’s hi-jinx. Mom & Dads police contact, domestic violence, so on. She learns quickly that what you say in serious situations is never what happened. Amber learns to appeal to people’s empathy & play up how impoverished she is. She’s learns from her mom that you play a helpless damsel for the cops. She tells tales of abuse at school to slide on homework. She learned that on top of getting out of obligations, you also get sympathy & attention. She did not learn however how to reach out for help or even recognize when she should be trying to. Holy crap, George & Kristine created a monster.
There was a brief time period for Amber to say, that’s how I was raised. I didn’t know anything different. Therefore, my past behavior is not up for scrutiny. I did bad things because I didn’t understand. I do now & that behavior is over. It would be so nice to see this. An actual positive outcome grown up out of the drunken ruckus raised by George twenty some years ago. I won’t be holding my breath.
Bottom Line- I feel Amber had some inherent deceptive qualities, & that Amber naturally had a knack for bending perceptions, or being able to ‘sell’ a certain spin. However it was her environment & parenting that taught Amber how to weaponize emotional deception & manipulation ie- you’re getting pulled over- quick start crying. Amber learned deception & manipulation for personal gain from her parents, and decides to start behaving this way on any given day just to do it. Purely for attention.
 

Tattoos

kiwifarms.net
I think a lot of people would agree she has had a shitty childhood and mental illness is real. HOWEVER you don't get a fucking gold star to be a grade A cunt for the rest of your life. You either work to better yourself or say fuck it and let the trauma eat you alive.

Also...if she was this truly super sweet woman (not gorl) who just overate to 600lbs because of trauma, I wouldn't watch her. It would be sad as fuck. But nope, our gorl is a narcissistic gluttonous bitch who is exploiting her past/disorders for monetary gain. I have no sympathy.
 
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DoctorVanHelsing

kiwifarms.net
Reminds me of the famous question of nuture vs. nature. Personally I think its a bit of both. If your whole family consists of jerks, crackheads and the like it probably runs in your family's genes but you are also exposed to your toxic loved ones all the time, especially during childhood. So in those circumstances you're pretty likely to end up yourself as a morbidly obese toxic cunt.
 

twi1992

Buckle the Fuck Up Slut, We're Geting Shitfaced.
kiwifarms.net
It's both. There's this channel on Youtube called Soft White Underbelly that interviews crack addicts/prostitutes/pimps/etc and there's a pretty consistent string of abuse equating to a not so savory life so if her family was on drugs, I don't doubt that she was affected. Because no normal person becomes 600 (sorry, 560) pounds JUST from liking food. But there are other people who have the same experiences and don't become awful people. The weight is a symptom but it doesn't excuse that she's self absorbed, manipulative, mean and childish. She may be able to control it but she doesn't. She can see a therapist but she doesn't. Maybe it's a chemical imbalance but she can't even be bothered to take her medication on time. As the saying goes: God helps those who help themselves.
 

dfranki723

kiwifarms.net
Because no normal person becomes 600 (sorry, 560) pounds JUST from liking food.

There have been people on 600lb life who had both parents in their life, who catered to their every whim and had a loving upbringing (if a bit spoilt). They were just pushy and greedy.
Obviously in most cases something deeper causes the food addiction but there are truly some folk out there who are nothing more than gluttons surrounded by enablers.

It's a real thing to just be a fat bastard.
 

twi1992

Buckle the Fuck Up Slut, We're Geting Shitfaced.
kiwifarms.net
There have been people on 600lb life who had both parents in their life, who catered to their every whim and had a loving upbringing (if a bit spoilt). They were just pushy and greedy.
Obviously in most cases something deeper causes the food addiction but there are truly some folk out there who are nothing more than gluttons surrounded by enablers.

It's a real thing to just be a fat bastard.

Yes but we're not talking about that. IF she's literally lying about everything, I'd get it. But I don't think that. I definitely don't believe that everything she says is accurate but I can believe some of it happened. But again, she could, oh, I don't know, not be a cunt to her girlfriend at least?
 

The Queen of Autists

kiwifarms.net
Wow! Nature vs nurture is a decent example of an issue that can really be argued from both sides. There isn’t a real answer here, but I’ll throw a few thoughts out there.
I think Amber, as a young girl, was born into a group of immature, unprepared, under educated folks, who had no business throwing lives out into the wild without any stability or training. Impulsive, unbalanced, selfish. I could write a book about what I think of Kristine & George.
As a child & into adolescents Amber is there observing her family’s hi-jinx. Mom & Dads police contact, domestic violence, so on. She learns quickly that what you say in serious situations is never what happened. Amber learns to appeal to people’s empathy & play up how impoverished she is. She’s learns from her mom that you play a helpless damsel for the cops. She tells tales of abuse at school to slide on homework. She learned that on top of getting out of obligations, you also get sympathy & attention. She did not learn however how to reach out for help or even recognize when she should be trying to. Holy crap, George & Kristine created a monster.
There was a brief time period for Amber to say, that’s how I was raised. I didn’t know anything different. Therefore, my past behavior is not up for scrutiny. I did bad things because I didn’t understand. I do now & that behavior is over. It would be so nice to see this. An actual positive outcome grown up out of the drunken ruckus raised by George twenty some years ago. I won’t be holding my breath.
Bottom Line- I feel Amber had some inherent deceptive qualities, & that Amber naturally had a knack for bending perceptions, or being able to ‘sell’ a certain spin. However it was her environment & parenting that taught Amber how to weaponize emotional deception & manipulation ie- you’re getting pulled over- quick start crying. Amber learned deception & manipulation for personal gain from her parents, and decides to start behaving this way on any given day just to do it. Purely for attention.
Being somebody brought up in a similar environment to amber and having a lot of similar traits as her, I hope it isn't power leveling if I just offer a couple insights into the behavior so others can understand.

The manipulation and lying is a survival mechanism and it gets engrained so deeply in childhood that you don't even always realize that is what you are doing even in a person such as myself that has been told I have a lot of insight.

I have often gone into victim mode and after some time in recovery have had to learn to stop and ask myself, is that really the truth? Am I really sad or just crying to manipulate?

Lots of things like that, the person who grows up in an addicted home is out of touch with reality and disconnected from their true feelings. Everything becomes sort of reactionary and it takes a lot of time and therapy or 12 step work to learn how to stop doing that.

It's often not somebody being purposely cunning and manipulative, it's them behaving as they have always behaved without much insight or awareness of it. But we can fly off the handle at a trigger and not even realize why, or get overcome with some sort of need we don't understand and start blindly trying to get it. It's not all just thought out and planned piece by piece like a psychopath would, it's actually a lot of haphazard repeated patterns of a person that barely knows themself.

Unless she is a sociopath, I dont know. But if she's not then it's more like what I wrote above. She needs some serious reprogramming through psychology or a 12 step group like adult children of Alcoholics (and dysfunctional families).

I hope that's not an offensive post I just wanted to share a little. In my 20s I was just as bad as amber and now I'm a much better person but it took ten years of very hard work and facing the truth and pain and working hard to rewire everything about me and how I interact with the world. I'm not better than ALR because I did that, that would be power leveling. I'm just luckier than ALR that I got the right help. My best friend with the same problems jumped out of a window and died, she was just like me, the same person, but one got the help and the other didn't. It was like the luck of the draw.
 

Cuck Shack

Chuck's "writing shed."
kiwifarms.net
Being somebody brought up in a similar environment to amber and having a lot of similar traits as her, I hope it isn't power leveling if I just offer a couple insights into the behavior so others can understand.

The manipulation and lying is a survival mechanism and it gets engrained so deeply in childhood that you don't even always realize that is what you are doing even in a person such as myself that has been told I have a lot of insight.

I have often gone into victim mode and after some time in recovery have had to learn to stop and ask myself, is that really the truth? Am I really sad or just crying to manipulate?

Lots of things like that, the person who grows up in an addicted home is out of touch with reality and disconnected from their true feelings. Everything becomes sort of reactionary and it takes a lot of time and therapy or 12 step work to learn how to stop doing that.

It's often not somebody being purposely cunning and manipulative, it's them behaving as they have always behaved without much insight or awareness of it. But we can fly off the handle at a trigger and not even realize why, or get overcome with some sort of need we don't understand and start blindly trying to get it. It's not all just thought out and planned piece by piece like a psychopath would, it's actually a lot of haphazard repeated patterns of a person that barely knows themself.

Unless she is a sociopath, I dont know. But if she's not then it's more like what I wrote above. She needs some serious reprogramming through psychology or a 12 step group like adult children of Alcoholics (and dysfunctional families).

I hope that's not an offensive post I just wanted to share a little. In my 20s I was just as bad as amber and now I'm a much better person but it took ten years of very hard work and facing the truth and pain and working hard to rewire everything about me and how I interact with the world. I'm not better than ALR because I did that, that would be power leveling. I'm just luckier than ALR that I got the right help. My best friend with the same problems jumped out of a window and died, she was just like me, the same person, but one got the help and the other didn't. It was like the luck of the draw.
That was an interesting read but you could have given us the same information without saying it was you. We wouldn't have known whether it was you, your brother, your therapist, or you're the therapist, but that's irrelevant because you're correct. The truth doesn't need to be supported by anecdote. This is just friendly advice from a young kiwi to a baby kiwi. ;)

Your post reminded me of something. I don't like how many believe that the split second you turn 18, you'll magically learn how to act like a decent person. As you mentioned, many people have abusive, addicted, and neglectful parents that modeled only bad behaviors. So I understand people in their twenties seeking help once they realise how fucked up they are. Amber doesn't count of course. She's 30 and has never tried to better herself. She will be the same awful cunt until the beetus kills her with hoof rot.
 
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Situation Type Deal Gorl

Fuck your feelings, nancypants
kiwifarms.net
Yes but we're not talking about that. IF she's literally lying about everything, I'd get it. But I don't think that. I definitely don't believe that everything she says is accurate but I can believe some of it happened. But again, she could, oh, I don't know, not be a cunt to her girlfriend at least?

She's a pathological liar, and it's clear that she deliberately lies when she perceives some benefit in it for her to do so. That said, she's also just about as classical a narc as you can get, and it's very easy for her to see herself as the power member of her particular coupling, and act like a condescending dickhead because that's what she does, whether it's with Becky, or her viewers, who she has explicitly said are stupid, dispeckful, and not as good as she is.

Unless she is a sociopath, I dont know.

I think it's very possible she is.

I hope that's not an offensive post I just wanted to share a little. In my 20s I was just as bad as amber

I doubt it.

 

mythical mother

ayyyy
kiwifarms.net
I don't know if any of you have watched Dr Todd Grande on YouTube, but he has several videos on the intersection of Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (or Vulnerable Narcissist) that seem to check a lot of boxes regarding her behavior.
I love him so much and I wish he’d do a video on Amber. I haven’t ever seen anyone request it, though. Maybe one of us will eventually lol
 

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