MUKBANG CRUNCHY VEGGIE TRAY | CONCEALER KNUCKLES 9/14/2019 - Day 88 of 100 - Heil Hamber!

Turd Blossom

A mug-o-gravy a day keeps Lord Beetus away
True & Honest Fan

I for one am so glad that Amber has finally gotten through her backlog of prefilmed vlogs so we can be treated to her current, up-to-date, real-time feelings on each and every vegetable item offered in this fascinating Walmart party pack that her dutiful manservant picked up in between runs for McNuggies.


Junk Culture
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28 going on 50

Saying that tomatoes are the most vile things on the planet then saying you like them in salsa makes no sense 😂 you sure do like them at Casa Grande and BJ's spaghetti. Thats like saying lemons are the worst tasting things ever and loving lemonade.

Another symptom like breathing hard and back pain that shes embarrassed by so she says she stubbed her toe as a child! Of course it couldn't be that you cant reach ur toes and Becky hasnt been around to clip them.

There is literally 1% difference between her present and old face.


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MUKBANG CRUNCHY VEGGIE TRAY | CONCEALER KNUCKLES - 9/14/2019 (Day 88 of this 100-Day Nightmare)
Because I hate myself and my blood pressure enough to watch these "inscrutiateen" videos so YOU DON'T HAVE TO:

- TrollLynn clearly rollin' in with this title.
- No intro again? Not filling that extra 10 seconds so there's more time in the video for filling her face? Cool.

- Celery
- Cherry tomatoes (she will not be eating)
- Carrots
- Snap peas (she doesn't care for them though, they will go to Necky)
- Broccoli (her favorite)
- More carrots
- Ranch buttermilk "si-chew-ation"

- Video borderlines on ASMR territory with the level of cruncheen.

- Laughs about her disgusting toenail that was seen during weigh-in. Thinks it's become a "scandal" (that word again, used incorrectly again).

- Her RIGHT foot "doesn't look like that" though.

- Boring story about her being young, living in a trailer, and stubbing her toe on a brick and her toenail came off in the process. So her toenail grew back SUPER THICK since then and it's "so hard to take care of". (Gosh, Hamber - it's so hard to take care of things that are SUPER THICK? *hopes Necky is in the background nodding her bobblehead to that sentiment*)

- "I hate that I even have to talk about this" (They're called socks. They've been around for many years.)

*30 solid seconds of crunching silence as she dips and shovels*

- VictimLynn calls everyone rude for making fun of her appearance. She was raised not to do that. More shoveleen because this is "first meal" and gorl is hongry.

- Thanks those who have donated. (Doesn't bother to play VictimLynn about how so many of those donations include comments against her.)

- "In the video I uploaded yesterday . . . which was today." (TimeLordLynn can't even keep this shit together?)


- "I hate seeing people being upset" ("because it means they're not paying attention to MEEEEEE")

- BeetusPaws all UP IN the camera. See? No knuckle concealer! Even gonna rub a scrunchie all over them knucks! Nuffin comes off! NO CONCEALER LAY OFF IT HAYDURS! Even gonna scrub it with a MAKEUP REMOVER WIPE! NUFFEEEEN!
(Except the lighting is SUPER bright on her to hide the darkness still visible on the knuckles, which is why there's no concealer. Why waste product when you can just shine bright lights to hide how dark they are?)

- CalorieCountingLynn has to sperg about her veggie tray's calorie content, which she claims is 450 calorees, even if she drank the rest of that ranch (which she wouldn't DREAM of doing).
Servings: 6 at 70 calories per serving = 420 calories. (Closest I could find, and it looked like the right one since she only really shops at Kroger.)

- Hamber just realizes that the foods she DOESN'T like are the ones Necky LIKES and vice-versa! Perfect tray of veggies! They're SO COMPATIBLE THEY FINISH EACH OTHERS' MOOKBONGS.

- Complains about "one gnat" in the house.

- Complains about "tomatoes".

- Big crunching, nodding, mm-hmm-ing finale bite. Putting the rest away.

(Which means she's back to filming multiple videos in a day and this wasn't the Comment of the Day video.)


January Cyst

I could eat a knob at night
A cup of ranch dressing has 1,168 calories. How can she claim that whole tray has 450 calories. Delusional.

This might actually be accurate this time, since the whole thing was just a pre-packaged convencience food and it has the calories printed on the label.
She could however have not read it properly and it's 450 calories for 1/3 or 1/2 of the pack (which would line up with your statement), since this is obviously something that is meant for several people at a party "sit-yuuuh-aysheen".
It's impressive that even though she doesn't do anything all day long she decided to get the ready made platter, when making your own takes less than 5 minutes and is a lot cheaper.

Have her videos always been so washed out and overexposed? I feel like the last few have gone the Onision route of jamming that brightness to max.

Eric recently bought new light bulbs for the kitchen and dining areas of the home to increase the brightness in his vlogs. Apprently buying some spot lights is just too complicated I guess so the hillbilly solution is to buy the brightest light bulbs wommart sells. I, for one, enjoy the new lighting as it highlights how much healthier Eric and Rickie are while highlighting how pasty and dead-looking Hamlord is.

Chicken Morris

The best part of the video is how she interrupts herself talking about Becky's mom to instead talk about something more important: food. Clip attached...
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Autism here but eating crunchy foods is not good for weight loss. Crunchy foods make you pay attention to them more and cause you to become more focused on the food that’s partly why you end up eating more of them. That’s why chips and Magnum bars are made to be extra crunchy.

Diet Coke 4 Life

When I peek, it is in the line of duty.
I'm just curious about where she got her nutritional data. After all, if this is the party tray she had...
Oink oink
Then it's 10 servings at 110 calories apiece. That count seems to include the ranch dressing.

Leaving out the cherry tomatoes and the snap peas would reduce the 1100 calorie intake by about 100-150 calories max.

Maybe I'm all fucked up in this, but m'thinks that's not.

Gorl. You still a lah.

Preview Pain

You Can't Nig-nag the Zig-zag
I am not verified as an artist by the Myers-Briggs personality test like ALR is, however I do believe she has figured out how to use iMovie for basic color correction - as mentioned by Billie Ross.
The Beast just found out what light actually does to videos...

She definitely upped the contrast and took the time to color-correct her video to be less yellow in her latest vid. I'd say it's a step in the right direction but we all know she did it for the sake of her indignation. Here is my shit attempt with color correcting in Photoshop. It's not perfect, but you can definitely see the change especially in contrast. (Also let me know if this image size is annoyingly large.)


EDIT: Apologies to photographers for misusing terminology.

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Day 91 of 100 - posted at 11:05 PM - talk about cutting it close!
"Comedy" network and its money burning subsidiaries, now on a permanently sinking ship, plugging their holes with podcasts, crappy animated shows, a fuck ton of booze, and colored monkeys. Now with more dick pics then anyone asked for.