How in the eternal blue fuck is any straw of any kind a choking hazard? Using a straw is universal. It's vacuum suction. The substance used to create that vacuum means fuck all. Are these dumb bitches eating them? FFS. They are the fucking worst.
This was linked in the article above - it is a ridiculously long list of excuses about why they can't do this. I mean seriously, in the time it took to come up with all of these, they could have solved the original problem about 10 times over...
Luckily it includes a quick and easy reference chart! (Who knew single-use straws were so amazing, huh?)
It goes on and on and on. I have no idea if their illnesses are legit or not but the argument is amusing all the same!