Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention

Toohottotrot

kiwifarms.net
View attachment 929584Ooo yikes look at this photo I found of bee and a celebrity and her mum when she won an award again giving off distinct fake CP vibes and again is in their benefit ie she’s won an award for being so special. If you want more check out her personal Facebook Bernadette crisp .

Also article explaining why a local place is like a mini Disneyland to someone as special as her https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.northantstelegraph.co.uk/news/find-out-why-this-teenager-says-rushden-lakes-is-like-a-mini-disneyland-1-8308913/amp

Here her food has to be specially prepared here but the staff don’t mind :) she can no longer hold a pencil 😂

“Bernadette’s progressive condition has stopped her playing wheelchair basketball, which she loved.

And in the past year she has deteriorated so is now unable even to hold a pencil.

But despite not being able to continue her favourite pastime of drawing, she now draws pictures on her touchscreen computer using only one finger.”

“Sadly she now has also lost all speech, but is able to communicate through her computer and Makaton sign language.”
Ha come again that dribbly can draw using a touchscreen when most of those profound and multiple learning people disabled noisey shitting wastes of resources are either using switches or eyegaze.

her drawings facebook page archived here

but as her disability does the yay i can talk walk use my hand NOW I cant noisense what would you wanna bet someone call her on her bs at bb or shes only gone as an abled bodied saneish person

re the tard signing leaves pisses me off bee is too moderately learned behavioured impaired to understand real sign language because it gives too much information but basically a tard version of the same thing just in english word order instead of in bsl grammer because tard

EDIT: To add so I browsing the facebooks as one does and came across rather this rather depressed sad sizcohenia looking pup who had to finish high school thow become axengy ridden. only to be voted the most likely to become the next "warning I bite dog at the shelter" from none of that of COS mbp mother of the year

Are own(er)ed trained pets allowed to come school?
 
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Kate Farms Shill

Has slain countless pelicans
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Ha come again that dribbly can draw using a touchscreen when most of those profound and multiple learning people disabled noisey shitting wastes of resources are either using switches or eyegaze.

her drawings facebook page archived here

but as her disability does the yay i can talk walk use my hand NOW I cant noisense what would you wanna bet someone call her on her bs at bb or shes only gone as an abled bodied saneish person

re the tard signing leaves pisses me off bee is too moderately learned behavioured impaired to understand real sign language because it gives too much information but basically a tard version of the same thing just in english word order instead of in bsl grammer because tard
one wonders if she's bad at art because she's bad at art, or if she's intentionally making it look like a 5th grader drew it...
 

TonySoprano

I promise I'm not a nazi
kiwifarms.net
BIG NEWS from our favorite pissed orf dog abuser!


-Opens to her stuffing her face in her car, 7:30 pm and just starting to vlog. Went to get food because she has some but not the ingredients to make special faux meat meals so she can pretend she doesn’t miss eating tasty animals and still hold it over everyone’s head that she’s vegan and better than you 🌱 . going to pick up evil dad in her car, mixing the food with her bare ass dirty hands and licking her fingers and touching her hair and the steering wheel and all sorts of gross shit.
-heart is feeling blah
-another bride photo she did hair and makeup on
-posts a comment from an asslicker and literally says “people DO enjoy my vlogs! See see!!! It’s not all people who think I’m a liar and an animal abuser!!” Comment is about how SJ taught op to doctor shop.
-cut to crying face because she’s watching Claire Wineland’s documentary in the car. She so wishes she had a terminal illness it’s fucking sick. SJ is glad CW reached age 21 so she could go clubbing.
-SJ turns this into a story about herself and how she started her care package business in honor of her... while she was still alive, and how she wanted to meet her because she was empowering and selfless (and everything SJ is not) and an “imperfect perfect person.” SJ misses her and doesn’t have the strength to keep watching but she must.
-officially done crying. Couldn’t finish, quit after 7 minutes.
-picking up dad, at the airport. Brought the dowrgs because whyyyy not and also the goddamned cat because “let’s make this a family vacation!”
-got a check from aunt for her organization. Sold some cheap ass bracelets to aunt as well. Announces that aunt donated $300 because that’s not tacky... .org is now $100 away from being a legal non-profit which she previously claimed it already was.
-More crying. EvilDad hands her the extra $100 she needs to be a real boy.
-so so so so tired so tired. 2:22 am and she can’t sleep because she’s so awake because she’s so excited about being a non-profit and she has no idea how to make it official which made her panic and worry she will never be an NPO. Not sure if it’s even worth it, because all it will do is stress her out more. More stressed trying to keep her business afloat but it’s more stressing to be a real NPO and she’s too delicate for this.
There needs to be a "Free Freckles" task force, this fucking idiot can't be trusted with a goldfish.
 

eternal dog mongler

kiwifarms.net
Really? This person can't use there diabetic grandma's lancing device? or buy one at Walmart for like 10 bucks? Also, hematuria isn't going to really alarm anyone. it sounds more like something someone might do to get a sick note for an exam.

someone needs to start telling these girls to find a way to swap there IV solutions out for distilled water. that message needs to be spread. They would need some kind of luer lock needle and the biggest syringe they could find with a luer lock adapter. these girls are so darned industrious one of them will figure how to accomplish this. then change the rate to infuse super fast and watch the magic happen.
We had a munchie somehow get her hands on potassium chloride once and we couldn't figure it out for a while.

If you want to ruin everyone's day in the ED, well, there you go.
 

Umaibae

kiwifarms.net
Oh snap I can do that and never realized it made me a ~zebra~ brb launching my GoFundMe career
Shit same. So when we getting our matching tops and going to the hospital?
I can do this too! We must have severe EDS, POTS etc, let's go get our ports fitted and we must start infusions immediately. We also must post about how sick we are on social media. People need to know that we're sick. Especially as we have flexible thumbs.
Late, but myself and multiple members of my family can also do this. Diagnosis for all!!!
 

Free Pancakes

kiwifarms.net
I forgot sunscreen the other day too so if I'm careful with my insta angles I may be able to fake MCAS. Not that I'm trying to compete! We Sick Widdle Ones gotta stick together and share vlogs and definitely aren't secretly hating each other for getting a cuter wheelchair or whatever.

Don't forget to get drunk and make a scene at the funeral I'm definitely going to have because I'm way sicker than you fakers! Xoxo best friends forever

In other news SJ is my new favorite til Anna starts posting recipes again. The non alcoholic peach schnapps started it, but the Thai food is technically Asian sealed it up. This bitch would be a gold mine even without the Munch garnish
 

Pimpkin Pumpkin

Problematic af.
kiwifarms.net
I was assuming they were going in and lying about the fact that they were menstruating, therefore stray blood in urine sample.

content time! Some IF refugees who lurk here have requested that Porochista Khakpour be introduced so that they may lol without constant guilt trips from the reddit handwringers, and given that she is a prolific and very successful munchie scammer, I oblige. I might send her over to proving grounds eventually since I think she is in fact threadworthy, but until then, here is PK 101.

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This is her fave pic of herself, which she uses for anything she uses to get more sympathy, inc. her book cover and the banner image of her go fund me pages.


Name: Porochista Khakpour
Born: 17 January 1978
Address: moves every few weeks but currently in brooklyn
Claims: late-stage lyme; EDS, POTS, MCAS; chronic inflammatory response syndrome (aka mold toxicity), craniocervical instability, tethered cord, osteopenia, dysphagia (undiagnosed but mentions not being able to swallow all the time and since all her problems are in her head...), TBI, IBS, malabsorption, a hiatal hernia, multiple chemical sensitivity, fibromyalgia, valley fever, PTSD, OCD, biotoxin illness, reactive hypoglycemia, MARCoNS (Multiple Antibiotic-Resistant Coagulase Negative Staphylococci); fishing for Sjøgrens and/or antiphospholipid syndrome (alternately claims she has been diagnosed with or she “highly suspects” it is APA) and Addison’s.

Porochista Khakpour is a 41 year old compulsive liar and GFM scammer who lives a very comfortable lifestyle funded by people she tricks into believing she is gravely ill, on the verge of death. She was born in Tehran, Iran and witnessed the Iranian Revolution and subsequent Iraq-Iran war before fleeing the country with her family at age 5. Her family settled in South Pasedena, California where she was raised in a tiny shitty apartment.

Khakpour claims to have been sick since she was a youngster and to have become much worse while living in Pasedena, leading her to have fainting spells and hand tremors, which sound a lot like anxiety caused by living through a fucking violent fundamentalist theocratic revolution wherein women went from having rights to being property of men and unable to even leave their house without a dumb costume covering every inch of them, then a bloody terrifying war, then moving to a new country as a child. She admits to having PTSD from the experience, as is to be expected when your childhood is watching people die and not knowing if the parked car next to you is rigged to explode. However, this is, according to her, not the real source of her problems and rejects any suggestion that she might be a lil’ psychosomatic.

She attended Sarah Lawrence College for her BA and Johns Hopkins for her MA. While in school, she did an ass-ton of drugs, especially cocaine, and fucked anything that moved. She admits living off of “coffee, cigarettes, and bagels,” clearly a well-balanced diet that would not at all make a person feel like shit on toast. One night she landed in the emergency room after smoking a joint laced with something or other, and the ER nurses ask if she’s been sick because her vitals are off. Rather than realize that doing anass-ton of drugs, eating a shit diet, not sleeping, and fucking everyone she meets is not good for your body, Porochista latched onto this and decided to get to the bottom of her health problems once and for all.

Now here’s the part where I admit I have never read and likely will never read her masturbatory memoir, but from what I gather through Professor Google, she traveled all over the country trying to get a diagnosis. Her complaints included insomnia, pain, nausea, unexplained fevers, neuropathy, and other likely psychiatric symptoms. She essentially gives away that she was just a drug seeker at first, realizing that claiming a random illness would get her access to all sorts of fun controlled substances in this innocent pre-Opiate Crisis world. And access she got! Whenever she would get bored of being addicted to one drug, she’d shop around and get addicted to a new one. She was particularly fond of Xanax and gabapentin.

Despite this (or perhaps because of it) she became a successful and well-connected novelist who won awards and shit.

In 2012, she got diagnosed with late-stage lyme with an IGeneX battery. IGeneX misuses already ridiculously unreliable tests like the Western Blot, which the CDC explicitly advises against using to diagnose lyme disease without further testing because it is extremely likely to give false positives. They furthermore interpret these tests extremely liberally, such that nearly anyone who gets this test will be told they have lyme disease. Since other meanie poo poo head doctors had ignored her when she asked if she suffered from a made-up disease that isn’t real, she believes that she was the victim of medical racism and sexism and that a white man would not have been treated this way or whatever.

She likes to cry racism and sexism whenever she doesn’t get what she wants. Just in case you didn’t guess that.

She has no idea when she got lyme, didn't have a tick bite or rash she could pinpoint, but has narrowed it down to around 2006. Except when she needs to cry at you, then she claims she had it since she was a child. Every once in a while she claims to pick up a new, more terrible strain of lyme, right when she's about to be healed finally.

In 2018, she wrote her memoir, Sick, where she details her life of addiction, misdiagnosis, and finally the magical lyme dx that changed everything. The fact that she's a fiction writer didn't seem to factor into people's opinion of this book. Rather than suggesting she maybe dramatized or outright fabricated some things, the reviews praised her for raw honesty. Flashbacks to A Million Little Pieces anyone? Except no one's going to call an allegedly "queer" opportunistically muzzie refugee pee-oh-cee disabled woman of making shit up because something something woke points.

In her journey she has opened multiple GoFundMe accounts, raking in close to $80,000 by claiming to be poor and unable to live. Despite this, she lives in New York City, where she moved recently after the place she had been living before proved unsuitable. See, with her terrible mold sensitivity she moved to the desert where she would not contact spores. This proved “too cold and dry” for Poor Old Chista, so she complained about mold there, too, then moved to fucking New York, which is way colder than Santa Fe or Marin County where she moved temporarily after Santa Fe, and which is full of decaying 100+ year old buildings full of mold, dust, mice, rats, and cockroaches and their assorted bodily wastes and all sorts of fun shit that could cause serious problems to someone who is actually sensitive to anything. She basically made her followers on social media find her a place to live, begging them to send her recommendations for “safe” houses that had low mold scores (but ultimately said the mold score didn’t really matter, she just wanted a place to live. Exactly what someone who was actually dying would do.) She constantly pimps out her GFM accounts, mooches off of people, symptom shops, and begs for rides places because trains/buses/taxis/uber are too dangerous for this fragile princess.

She moves around the country constantly, staying somewhere for a few weeks and swearing this, THIS city is her healing place. Her demanding, mooching, attention-seeking behavior means she quickly overstays her welcome and starts posting statuses about how she’s about to be homeless!!!! if her followers don’t help her find a large, mold-free (and tested!), apartment in her price range in some of the most expensive cities in the US and also pimps out the old GFM to pay for this place. And she needs a ride there. She moved from temp home to temp home fourteen goddamned times in 2018 alone.

So about that "queer" claim... She likes to say she's “queer” but she hasn’t ever dated a woman and only uses this identity to get more attention and oppression olympic points. Some pearl clutchers on IF said that it was unfair to mention this because she might have just not met another “queer” woman when she was in her fuck-anything-that-moves phase. Despite that she went to Sarah fucking Lawrence. She also enjoys her status as one of Allah’s Chosen People when it suits her, ending posts where she’s pretending to be hopeful/acting like she’s actually going to help herself out of a situation she’s gotten her dumb ass into with “inshallah!” while other times admitting she doesn’t follow the religion at all/being openly critical of a batshit religion that made her family flee their homeland in terror.

Oh, and she suicide baits, including saying she considered intentional heroin overdose to end her pain or whatever.

Her twitter and insta are private and I can only go by what IF posted/what people send me (if you have access please post receipts as the IF crew are so worried about looking good themselves that they likely skip over all the good stuff.) Her facebook is public but far less active. She still goes from doctor to doctor trying to be healed from this terrible affliction (but only if other people pay for it.) She’s recently claimed to desperately need another 15-20k to be treated in Utah. Or Switzerland. She’s not fussy. Except she is.

Her followers are batshit insane and constantly suggesting new diseases she should have her doctor look into and trying to get her to try Kambo, which is some kind of frog poison that induces intense vomiting. This is not a pill you take, by the way. They burn a hole in your flesh, put the frog poison into the wound, and then you puke your guts up. Oh, and the only way to collect this miracle nectar is to torture the frogs, usually by tying them to sticks with their legs splayed out into a painful unnatural position, and then smashing them into things or holding them near a fire until they panic and secrete it.

Her preferred treatments are ridiculous antibiotics doses, opiates, bee venom, and ozone.

Some receipts, in reverse chrono because I don’t actually follow this annoying twat and am just scrolling her facebook for the first time:

Fishing for a new dx
View attachment 929233

Moved to NY after whining forever, needs a caretaker until she can recover from the trauma. Never too sick to do whatever she wants to do.
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Self-diagnosed MCAS before getting a quack to confirm it. Her self-dx was based on the fact that benadryl works for her allergic reactions. Which are likely anxiety attacks, and benadryl calms her because it’s a sedative.
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Crowd sourcing what pain killers she should ask her doctors for and how to act when she does it.
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Shitting herself skinny; dairy triggers her lyme; complaining about the cost of woo.
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Kate Farms sighting! But PK is far too delicate for God’s Most Perfect Liquid. Fucking blasphemer.
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Also Fairuza Balk popped in to pray for Porochista's poop chute, because why not?
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And she's harassing Neil Gaiman
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Always grifting.
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Never updates what this was all about, probably because there was nothing wrong
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“...give an ailing cripple a ride to her neurosurgeon.” Girl lay it on a little thicker next time.
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“has anyone ever been dehydrated when they don’t drink water and shit their brains out all day because they annihilated their gut flora with unnecessary abx?” Fishing for Sjøgrens.
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TBI.
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“I want this cheap, but I don’t want to wait for it.”
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“I don’t like being here, take me out somewhere and bring snacks that fit my highly specific diet because I am starving myself and making myself shit my brains out with weird supplements and antibiotic overdoses in order to get attention, asspats, and GFM bux.”
View attachment 929262

Who would have thought that one of the most notoriously expensive areas of the country where a 350 square foot studio goes for thousands would not be the best place for a whiney unemployed leech with high standards?
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Fishing for Sjøgrens. Quack treats her for common bacteria that only causes complications in people who have cystic fibrosis or are immunocompromised
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Literally every post is begging for something or complaining about her current living situation.
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Faking sick is expensive wahhh
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Homeless again, naturally.
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“anyone want to cart my broke ass around all the time and be at my beck and call? I'll never be grateful and I'll always whine about how much worse my situation is than anyone else's and ask for money.”
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Can you watch my dog? I’ll pay a little but really, he’s such a joy you should do it for free!
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Found a nice excuse not to visit the folks
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“I’m not asking for much! I just need a place to stay that you have tested for mold and chemicals and which meets my standards.”
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complaining about the price of doctor shopping and actively seeking new diagnoses.
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Claims to have been dx'd APA. Later claims the test is conflicting and it might be Sjøgrens
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Lol, even this batshit crazy leech thinks Medical Medium’s ghost diet is dumb
View attachment 929239

Took a positively stupid amount of antibiotics, gave myself a yeast infection, plz halp.
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random leftovers:
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That's all I got in me tonight. Might come back with more later.
Thank you for the run down on their PK! Whenever I look into IF (mainly to laugh at the competitive munching and increasingly stupid drama), PK seems to be the most popular and I’m dumb so thought they were talking about PurpleKecleon. I’m sure PurpleKecleon has a few fake sjw illnesses but has nothing on this bitch in that regard.

Also, I haven’t heard of the Medical Medium before but that sounds like some hilarious quackery.
 

A Seagull

I'll shit on your wife's tits.
kiwifarms.net
Either put up or shut up. That said...

Our dear Ophelia live-tweeted her ER visit a couple days ago and it's clear they are done with her shit. Order is backwards within each screencap, as twitter timelines do.

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Good god, why do munchies have such a case of neverland syndrome? Why do they try SO HARD to go in the pediatric ward?
Like, sure. Nothing wrong with indulging in some disney or doll collecting as an adult. As long as you have a job, pay your bills and taxes, no one really cares all that much.
 

eternal dog mongler

kiwifarms.net
This is crazy to me since her fiction is critically acclaimed in the lit fiction sphere.
Is it? She's not, like, a completely terrible writer or anything.

They went to see Ben Hur. Afterward they had wine at her place. After many hours of arguing about the movie, politics, current affairs, history, Christianity, Islam—he leaned in to kiss her. That night, he told her his real age and she threw a fit, a huge fit, before melting into his kisses again and again. By the end of the night they were joking about it, in bed.

After a year of that they were engaged. After another year, they eloped. Hendricks was twenty-one.

They started trying to have children immediately, Nilou already thirty-eight. But as much as they tried, instead of a baby came pains, deep gripping pains throughout her body that were, she claimed, unlike any she had ever had. Something is wrong, Tony. Something is wrong, I know it.
but, uh
 

homewayhalf

kiwifarms.net
Is it? She's not, like, a completely terrible writer or anything.



but, uh
Yeah, it is. I thought The Last Illusion was bad plot-wise but the writing is good. Of course, in litfic world any novel by a qweer (lol) WOC is automatically praised to the high heavens. I’m pretty involved in the litfic world (ugh I sound like an asshole) and Khakpour is often interviewed and writes article for prestigious publications and stuff.

I also read a book of essays by a woman named Esme Wang and she has an essay where she goes to Sante Fe with Porochista. Makes me suspicious of Esme’s claims now lol.

Edit: quickly since I’m at work and hopefully someone else can archive but there’s an ama with someone who lived with PK on r/malingering
 
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elliptical narcissist

kiwifarms.net
Is it? She's not, like, a completely terrible writer or anything.



but, uh
I read her memoir Sick last year. Well, half of it. Ok, some of it, before I took it back to the library and dumped it in the return bin. It was so riveting that all I took away from it was that she was still outraged that when they fled Iran and came to the US, they had to live in an apartment with only one bathroom for four people.
 

Kate Farms Shill

Has slain countless pelicans
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Yeah, it is. I thought The Last Illusion was bad plot-wise but the writing is good. Of course, in litfic world any novel by a qweer (lol) WOC is automatically praised to the high heavens. I’m pretty involved in the litfic world (ugh I sound like an asshole) and Khakpour is often interviewed and writes article for prestigious publications and stuff.

I also read a book of essays by a woman named Esme Wang and she has an essay where she goes to Sante Fe with Porochista. Makes me suspicious of Esme’s claims now lol.

Edit: quickly since I’m at work and hopefully someone else can archive but there’s an ama with someone who lived with PK on r/malingering
Esme is just as bad as Porochista. They used to be "blood sisters" and go to treatment together but had a falling out and no longer follow each other on social media. I had never heard of Esme before and didn't come across her name in the 15 minutes of research I did, so that's my bad for omitting this important plotline.

I have ama archived and a bunch of other things redditor sent me to upload later, but I am in the middle of a billion things.
 

homewayhalf

kiwifarms.net
Theres
Esme is just as bad as Porochista. They used to be "blood sisters" and go to treatment together but had a falling out and no longer follow each other on social media. I had never heard of Esme before and didn't come across her name in the 15 minutes of research I did, so that's my bad for omitting this important plotline.

I have ama archived and a bunch of other things redditor sent me to upload later, but I am in the middle of a billion things.
wow, that’s fascinating. I wish there was enough interest for a literary drama thread lol. Them and Roxane Gay. So Esme’s whole thing is that she has schizophrenia - I really enjoyed her collection, it was really well written and had a real voice - but like PK, she avoided a lot of specifics and her story was very disjointed. I have no doubt she’s mentally ill though, but she often went on about how she presented as perfectly fine because she wore expensive clothes. Like girl I’m pretty sure if you’re going through mania a Gucci dress isn’t going to stop people from noticing.

Edit: just googled Esme Wang and Lyme and she claims to have late-stage too! Lol I don’t remember that from her book.

Found this essay where she details going with PK. I remember reading it but being under the impression that it was just Esme trying to find out what was wrong with her, not that she had Lyme. Jesus.

 
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Maxie

kiwifarms.net
Found this essay where she details going with PK. I remember reading it but being under the impression that it was just Esme trying to find out what was wrong with her, not that she had Lyme. Jesus.

Reading that essay will give you schizophrenia for fucks sake. No of course it's something that doesn't exist that's causing your psych issues not the fact you were crazy to start with.
 

Kate Farms Shill

Has slain countless pelicans
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Edit: just googled Esme Wang and Lyme and she claims to have late-stage too! Lol I don’t remember that from her book.

Found this essay where she details going with PK. I remember reading it but being under the impression that it was just Esme trying to find out what was wrong with her, not that she had Lyme. Jesus.

Someone sent me a fuck ton of Esme/PK receipts last night that I'm still sorting through but holy shit. These two lovebirds were just made for each other. I wonder if IRL munchie olympics is what did in their friendship.
Screen Shot 2019-09-09 at 20.01.58.png
 

homewayhalf

kiwifarms.net
Someone sent me a fuck ton of Esme/PK receipts last night that I'm still sorting through but holy shit. These two lovebirds were just made for each other. I wonder if IRL munchie olympics is what did in their friendship.
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I like how Esme claims they're getting cured but in all her references to it she talks about how awful she feels when it's done.
 

IBrokeBob

kiwifarms.net
Someone sent me a fuck ton of Esme/PK receipts last night that I'm still sorting through but holy shit. These two lovebirds were just made for each other. I wonder if IRL munchie olympics is what did in their friendship.
View attachment 930317
Props to you for all you do for this thread. I love a good read with excellent research and you hit the mark every time.
 
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