Musical LOLcows -

Dysnomia

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Sebastian Bach, former singer for Skid Row. He hasn't matured at all and is perpetually a spoiled whiny 14 year old. He's also a major Kisstard. In fact, Kiss is why he will never be back in Skid Row. Sebitchian booked the band to open for Kiss at the Meadowlands. Without consulting anyone.

http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/sk...e-wont-put-ourselves-in-a-volatile-situation/

During an appearance on the August 7 episode of "Another FN Podcast", Hill was asked if it's true that Bach was relieved of his duties from SKID ROW when he reportedly booked the group to open for KISS without first consulting his bandmates. "That caused a giant uproar is what it did, and [Sebastian] did something to Snake that was unacceptable," Hill revealed (hear audio below). "He called his house on Thanksgiving and said some horrible things into his answering machine, and Snake says, 'You know what? I'm not gonna be in a band with you anymore.' There you go. It's as simple as that."

Hill also talked about SKID ROW's decision to take a break following Bach's departure from the band. He said: "Well, at that point, grunge had come into play. We had done 'Subhuman Race'. It's a cool record; it's got its moments. And then we had gone out and done that tour and it was a failure. And at that point, with everything that was going on internally in the band, something was gonna give, and that just happened to be what it was. Everybody had had enough of everything, and it wasn't worth it for anybody to leave the house for that. So when that happened, we just all stopped calling each other. We had been on the road a lot, man. I mean, we went out on that first tour — it was sixteen months — we came home, we did a record, we went back on tour for twenty-two months, we came back home, we did another record, we went on… We were out for a long time, but those first two tours were really long. For people that get along, that will wear thin. So when there's lots of turmoil and stuff like that, it's hard to go on. So with all that combined, you've got guys that just were, like, 'All right. I need a break.'"

According to Scotti, he didn't see any of his bandmates for "probably a year" until he, Snake and Rachel "started a little side project," the aforementioned OZONE MONDAY. "We just wanted to try something different — whatever comes out comes out — not particularly for heavy music, or any kind of music," he explained. "But after a while, that just wasn't feeling right. And I remember Snake and I were going to New York one day, we were on the ferry riding over there, and he was, like, 'Would you be interested in doing SKID ROW with a different singer?' I was, like, 'Yeah. People are gonna freak out, but they can start their own fucking band then — do it the way they wanna do it. This is what's happening.' So that's what we did."
I've heard this story before. That Sebastian called up a bandmate and left a nasty message because the band was not interested in opening for Kiss. They weren't very happy at the time due to grunge taking over. They were into other projects and Kisstard Number 1 wouldn't take no for an answer and had a meltdown over the phone.

If you've ever seen an interview with Sebastian it doesn't matter if it's from 1989 or 2017. He's the same immature and obnoxious ass in every one. He has never changed. At least Axl seems to have grown up. I can understand why Snake Sabo and Rachel Bolan want nothing to do with him. Check out Sebastian's MTV Cribs episode. Could you spend five minutes with this guy without strangling him?


I think this is the house that got destroyed by a hurricane. I wonder if he lost all that Kiss memorabilia. He actually kept a cup of Gene Simmons' fake blood spit from the reunion tour. His house is so loaded down with Kiss stuff that Gene Simmons must be rolling in more of Sebastian's dough than he is.

A huge highlight here is at 3:38 when you see the bathroom and realise that this guy is so autistic for Kiss that it's mind blowing. Imagine having to use the toilet with Gene Simmons face silently judging you from the door. He's got one bedroom reserved for his Kiss addiction and the bedroom he actually sleeps with is mostly Kiss free (probably at the insistence of his wife).

You'll see that he has a costume for Jekyll & Hyde. That's because he had a rather nice Broadway career at that point. That he completely and totally fucked up by acting like a primadonna and embarrassing the cast of Jesus Christ Superstar during the curtain call due to his stupid rock star antics.

Here's an interview where he talks about how he got into a fight with a bar owner and bit him, resulting in jail time and a rabies test. The snorting laughter is so annoying. But it's his signature laugh and it wouldn't be Sebitchian without it. He also thinks he has the right to tell people who own pictures to take them down because that's his woman on them. Your wife is not your property Mr Meth Pipe Teeth.


But one of the things he's most famous for is injuring a teenage girl at one of his concerts in 1989.


He's talking about the Panama Canal when someone throws a bottle. Sebastian then hurls it back into the audience where it hits a teen girl in the face, shattering and causing cuts and facial fractures. He then proceeds to jump into the crowd and start a fight.

Recently Sebastian has been pissed off for having his real last name, Bierk, leaked. But it's actually been known for quite some time. It was broadcast on MTV news during coverage of the court hearing.


He definitely was sorry for what happened. And apologized to another guy who he accidentally hit during the fight. But he still comes off as the same ass he was almost 30 years ago. It's just that he's way too bloated from booze these days to be nimble enough to jump into a crowd and kick ass like that. He really let himself go. Bad. He was so gorgeous back then. It's not like I expect him to look like he did in the I Remember You video or anything. But holy cow Baz, that's some serious trainwreck you've got going on there. Even Axl looks better these days. There's a reason why he's always using old promotional shots from back when he looked like a god.

He was also on some reality shows. He didn't do the circuit ad nauseum like Bret Michaels did. But he was on Supergroup where he acted like a spoiled child who needed a serious beating. Ted Nugent is on there too. As well as Evan Seinfeld who you can smell from here.

He was also on Celebrity Fit Club. He's done some acting on Gilmore Girls and Trailer Park Boys as well as other things. But I never watched those shows.

Editing because I forgot the infamous "AIDS Kills Fags Dead" incident.


Essentially someone threw a shirt up on stage with the aforementioned slogan on it and he thought it was funny. So he put it on and everyone got pissed. He then says he doesn't condone being gay but doesn't think death is funny either. I imagine that a guy who looks like Sebastian probably got hit on a lot by gays and maybe that gave him some kind of complex. But back then AIDSphobia was very real and the stigma attached to having it could destroy your life entirely. There were people who still believed you could spread it by being breathed on by or sitting next to an infected person.

He could never get away with this stunt today.

And this is like 1989. In 2017 he's essentially the same dumbass 20 year old kid he was 30 years ago.

He also had a hilariously pathetic Twitter war with William Shatner over an emoticon. Sebitchian proceeded to dox him. The dox was later deleted.

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/n...atner-engage-in-bizarre-twitter-feud-20160601

William Shatner and Sebastian Bach engaged in what could be the strangest Twitter feud of 2016, with the Skid Row singer at one point threatening to go the 85-year-old Star Trek actor's Los Angeles home. "I will run past your fucking house every day until the day I die. Deal with me with your phaser cell phone bullshit," Bach wrote in a since-deleted tweet.

The catalyst in this unlikely beef: A purple devil emoji that Shatner used in replying to a tweet liked by Bach, Blabbermouth reports. Unfortunately, the seeds of this feud have been largely deleted by its combatants, depriving future historians of key evidence into what actually transpired between the two. However, some tweets remain from Bach and Shatner's online tiff.

During the heated exchange, Bach called Shatner a "dickhead" and at one point reportedly posted the actor's home address. "U don't have to harass me on Twitter," Bach wrote to Shatner. "I live right near you in Studio City. I run past your house. Say it to my face." Shatner responded with a pair of emojis, the yellow-faced one with the eyes rolling upward as well as another purple devil.

Shatner and Bach then quibbled over when the singer should run over to the actor's house. Shatner, a busy man, told Bach, "I'm back in town the week of the 13th." "Good. I will run over to your house on the 13th. Perfect day for it. See you soon emoji man," Bach warned.
 
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Pointless Pedant

Waiting in queue for 2b2t
True & Honest Fan
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Design The Skyline.


When Sarcofago said "if you are a false don't entry, or else you'll be burned and died", this is who they meant.
 

Dysnomia

Party like it's COVID-1999
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http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/bi...on-psychiatric-medication-at-time-of-suicide/

Billy is a a brainwashed Scientology drone who's been indoctrinated into the cult of Xenu since the 70s. As you know, Scientology believes that psychiatry and treating mental illness with drugs is a scam and a sham. Unlike expensive audits to purge vengeful alien ghosts from your body. Which is totally legit and will make you a perfectly happy and functional member of society. Providing that you can keep shelling out the cash.

Seems ol' Billy believes that Chester Bennington's suicide was caused by psychiatric drugs. Here's Billy making an ass out of himself:

Billy Sheehan says that he is willing to "bet ten thousand dollars" that Chester Bennington was taking psychiatric medication just prior to his suicide in July. The legendary bassist is an avowed member of the Church Of Scientology, which decries the practice of psychiatric medicine and whose members believe that all anti-depressants and other psychiatric medications are dangerous and addictive.

Sheehan's comments came during an interview with the "Metal Global" show, which airs on the Portuguese national radio and TV public broadcaster RTP.

Speaking about the recent suicides of Bennington and Chris Cornell, the MR. BIG and THE WINERY DOGS bassist said: "I think everybody… your success and how famous you are, everybody's still got the same problems, no matter what. Money doesn't cure it, fame doesn't cure it — nothing really fixes it other than you fixing yourself; that's the only thing that ever fixes it. Somebody else can't fix it, you can't take a pill and fix it. You've gotta fix yourself. You create your own life in your own mind and you've gotta figure out a way to fix things on yourself so that you can continue on and enjoy your life. 'Cause I know very rich and famous people who are miserable — they hate everything and life is a constant complaint; nothing is right and they're just angry. And then I know people that have almost nothing and they live in a tiny little house in a city far away and they have a fabulous time, a wonderful time.

"It's sad to see people that are famous commit suicide," he continued. "Of course, it's the worst thing you can ever do. Suicide… I've experienced it many, many times — I've had many, many people close to me commit suicide. It's a terrible, terrible situation. You only hurt the people who care for you, and the people you hurt the most are the ones that care for you the most. And it's a terrible, terrible, horrible thing to do. And you're also torn between hating the person for doing this to you and how sad you are for them and for losing them. It's the worst thing for all people — for the person who has committed suicide and for everybody around them. It's just a terrible, terrible thing."

According to Sheehan, most people should be able to overcome mental-helth problems without pharmaceutical intervention. "People have to be able to step out of themselves for a minute, look at themselves and say, 'Jeez, I've gotta change something, because things aren't working out,'" he said. "It's a tough challenge, it's a challenge all of us had in all of our lives — every person: you, me, everybody in the world. There's this challenge to be a better person, to live the type of life that you can enjoy it. And it's a tough situation."

Billy added that he was tempted to bring up his controversial perspective on psychiatric medication in the immediate aftermath of Bennington's death. "When the gentleman who just passed away recently [committed suicide], I almost posted, 'I'll bet ten thousand dollars right now he was on psychiatric medication. Right now. Anybody wanna take that bet?'" he admitted. "I didn't post it, because I thought it would be cruel and inappropriate. But I bet he was.

"Psychiatric medication is the cause of most suicides — something like ninety-something percent, psychiatric medication is a precursor to suicide," he continued. "It says on the box now — there's a little warning on the box. 'Warning: ideation of murder or suicide may result.' There it is. Plain as every school shooter. Every person that went to a school and shot up the school, every single one was on psychiactric medication — every one. Chris Cornell was on psychiatric medication. Keith Emerson was on was on psychiatric medication. That stuff is deadly, and whatever you can do to avoid it, I urge people to do so. There's a gotta be a way, a more natural way, you've gotta get your nutrition good — there are all kinds of ways. And in some cases, you can't avoid it, and if you really need it, because you really need to settle down, fair, cool, great, that's good. But be aware, and make the people around you aware the possibilities are death or suicide."

Fellow well-known Scientologist Tom Cruise memorably publicized some of those same views in a 2005 interview with "Access Hollywood" when he suggested Brooke Shields should have taken vitamins rather than anti-depressants for her postpartum depression.

"These drugs are dangerous. I have actually helped people come off," he said. "When you talk about postpartum... what you do is you use vitamins."

Bennington was found dead in his home in Palos Verdes by one of his employees on July 20. A Los Angeles County coroner confirmed that the cause of death was "suicide by hanging."

A half-full bottle of alcohol was found in the room, but it was reportedly not near the body.

Bennington had been candid about mental health battles in numerous interviews over the years, saying he grappled with depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and substance abuse.
See? It's that easy to overcome depression! All you have to do is decide to change something.

I'm glad that he didn't have the idiocy to post this right after the suicide. It's still horribly exceptional now. He probably thinks that if Chester had been a Scientologist he'd be alive right now.
 

ZepFloyd94

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http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/bi...on-psychiatric-medication-at-time-of-suicide/

Billy is a a brainwashed Scientology drone who's been indoctrinated into the cult of Xenu since the 70s. As you know, Scientology believes that psychiatry and treating mental illness with drugs is a scam and a sham. Unlike expensive audits to purge vengeful alien ghosts from your body. Which is totally legit and will make you a perfectly happy and functional member of society. Providing that you can keep shelling out the cash.

Seems ol' Billy believes that Chester Bennington's suicide was caused by psychiatric drugs. Here's Billy making an ass out of himself:



See? It's that easy to overcome depression! All you have to do is decide to change something.

I'm glad that he didn't have the idiocy to post this right after the suicide. It's still horribly exceptional now. He probably thinks that if Chester had been a Scientologist he'd be alive right now.
I remember him saying a similar thing when Keith Emerson killed himself.

Amazing bass player, but he always was an insensitive twat toward those who killed themselves.
 

Burmy87

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And this one:


I don't know what's the best part: the cheesy 80s keyboard, the unused grand piano everyone is huddled around, the line "He is like a Mountie, he always gets his man", or the obvious fakery of the guitar player (there isn't even a guitar in most of the song!). These guys were apparently somewhat famous and became rather memetic over their cheesy Jesus music.
Is it wrong that when I hear "And He'll zap you any way He can-ZAP!" I think of a Sonichu #0-style cover with God the Father sending the Son forth and saying "GO JESUS! GO AND ZAP TO THE EXTREME!"
 

blah

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Skimmed the thread and couldn't find speak the hungarian rapper, so here goes:

His accent is a tad bit special. Sad story though, Dogg tried so hard to help the gy and in the end the guy steals his jewelery.
 

Memeanon

slownic doesn't zap to the extreme
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would xxxtentacion count as a lolcow? he always acts edgy but in reality he's a talentless controversial domestic abuser who is also a pussy. he also got arrested several times.


he also got into a war with drake because he thinks that he stole his flow.
 
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Chopinpiano

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There's this guy from my choir who post cringy as hell singing videos. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6tG70N-oTMztUBx_djpXUA

He says he can sing up to a G#7 which if you don't know music, is extremely high. He got rid of the video but his videos are still cringy as hell. https://twitter.com/misukiy

He responds to any criticism in a lolcow manner.


He thinks he can sing, but his voice is so strained I cringe as a singer.


He goes completely flat lmao
 

KookiesNKreem

There is nothing but Luck inside your bag!
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While it may seem like cheating to nominate an album more than a single person, I'd like to nominate the Golden Throats series. These things were meant to promote the singing voices of celebrities- who really should just stick to acting. While there's some funny bits in trying to get Muhammad Ali to sing "Stand By Me", or Andy Griffith butchering "House of the Rising Sun", the real stars of the albums are always William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy (The original Kirk and Spock!). Their covers within and even outside Golden Throats are somewhat of personal lolcows to me.

These albums are usually sourced as inspiring Shatner to continue his disastrous music career. That's how we got this spectacular work of art. I leave you with Captain Kirk attempting to monolouge to Bohemian Rhapsody:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cKo4FMzt_hM
 
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An Sionnach Seang

Justin Bieber shit's like a cat!
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While it may seem like cheating to nominate an album more than a single person, I'd like to nominate the Golden Throats series. These things were meant to promote the singing voices of celebrities- who really should just stick to acting. While there's some funny bits in trying to get Muhammad Ali to sing "Stand By Me", or Andy Griffith butchering "House of the Rising Sun", the real stars of the albums are always William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy (The original Kirk and Spock!). Their covers within and even outside Golden Throats are somewhat of personal lolcows to me.

These albums are usually sourced as inspiring Shatner to continue his disastrous music career. That's how we got this spectacular work of art. I leave you with Captain Kirk attempting to monolouge to Bohemian Rhapsody:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cKo4FMzt_hM
in fairness, William Shatner's non-singing can actually be funny

this, on the other hand (an unedited studio recording of a non-humorous celebrity single) is just excruciating
 

KookiesNKreem

There is nothing but Luck inside your bag!
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in fairness, William Shatner's non-singing can actually be funny

this, on the other hand (an unedited studio recording of a non-humorous celebrity single) is just excruciating
Oh, it's definitely hysterical. Singing songs like Shatner is always fun. That album walks a fine line between funny and horrible. Leonard Nimoy singing The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins is something else.
 

An Sionnach Seang

Justin Bieber shit's like a cat!
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ABC's first album, though musically excellent, has some songs with very whiny, loveshy-type lyrics

in the interests of science, I shall replace song titles from that album with ones which better reflect their actual message

before: Show Me
after: Please Have Sex With Me I'm A Nice Guy Honest

before: All Of My Heart
after: Please Go Out With Me I'm A Nice Guy Honest

before: Poison Arrow
after: Why Aren't You Interested In Me I'm A Nice Guy Honest
 

fingerpaints

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How about Kail? He was this guy from the mid-to-late 2000's who wanted to be the next Weird Al. He is infamous for making a song called "Tails is Hot." Because around the time the song was released (2008) Sonic was still the spergiest fanbase out there, he had his own batshit fanbase. Not long after releasing the album the song was on ("Humor Songs"), he dropped off the face of the Earth. He resurfaced in 2011, only to focus on some podcast no one cared about. Because most of his content was on MySpace, a lot of it is lost, save for a mostly-empty YouTube channel and an ED page.
Totally late to this, but wasn't he the guy who wrote this infamous Kotaku article?
 
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fingerpaints

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Also, no mention of Jim Corr so far? You know - the one from The Corrs. The drummer. The one who could have been fucking a goat live on stage and nobody would have noticed, as they would be too busy gazing at Andrea, Sharon, and the other one. For those too young to remember, The Corrs were a band made of siblings who were huge in the late '90' with their radio-friendly adult-contemporary pop. Pretty inoffensive all round, really.

Except that Jim was a massive 9/11 truther and conspiracy theory crazy dude. Unfortunately, when they reunited for a tour a year ago, his website got scrubbed by a savvy PR guy, but vestiges of it remain in news articles...

"The website open before me now conforms to all of these tropes, but differs from all its seething peers in one key respect. It is not the work of some lonely, tinfoil-hatted denizen of his parents' basement, but of a multimillionaire rock star. It is jimcorr.com, the online presence of Jim Corr, guitarist with the Irish soft-rock band the Corrs. His Twitter feed – @jimcorrsays – keeps about 2,700 agog followers updated with such bulletins as "Newscaster alludes to Satanic government", "Severe child abuse goes to the top of the establishment", and "32 signs entire world being transformed into a futuristic big brother prison grid". If imagined as song titles, these certainly whet the appetite for a Jim Corr solo album."

His Twitter account isn't as batshit as the website was, but a quick glance shows he likes Trump, mocks 'SJW reactions to RepealThe8th' (the campaign to legalise abortion in Ireland) and that 9/11 is still an inside job.
 

Jarilo182

BIRDPOSTER
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would xxxtentacion count as a lolcow? he always acts edgy but in reality he's a talentless controversial domestic abuser who is also a pussy. he also got arrested several times.
You forgot the part where Geneva (the ex) lied about being pregnant, cheated on him with 5 other men, and half of her bruises were revealed to be makeup. That's literally why his case is being postponed and eventually dropped.

He's an edgelord with beef who gets into stupid fights, but if X is a lolcow, so is Geneva.
 
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RichardMongler

Causing much mayhem, dropping drama
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David "Custer" Daboll of Lightning Rod might be my favorite musical lolcow of all time.

It's hard to describe this man's music, but if you can imagine David Tanny anally impregnating Gary Numan who then, after giving birth, sent his child to Segregationist parents for adoption, you'd be much closer. David Custer's one-man project Lightning Rod is pretty much the peak of outsider music, but given his white nationalist politics he's an outsider even to the outsiders. What's even crazier is his completely bold and sincere claims that his music is superior to others within his own scene. To him, Bound for Glory is music for tattooed trailer parks residents who attend monster truck rallies while Lightning Rod is tailor-made for intellectuals and college students.

Moaning like a tone deaf dork without melody or timing over a drum machine and guitar set up, Custer doesn't hesitate to let his audience know which people are on his shitlist. Even the Irish, Italians and Greeks aren't spared his Aryan wrath. Apparently there ain't nobody white enough for this fella. Choice comments from an interview with him including lovely replies such as the following:
Hatespawn.png

KriegsberichterNo5.png


Here he is in the flesh:

His music? It speaks for itself:
 
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Cable 7

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Punk and the indie rock scenes breed a lot of weirdos. It's gotten really bad now since a lot of these people are letting thier freak flag fly because of Trump.
 

Yaoi Huntress Earth

My avatar is problematic.
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Sinead O'Connor has been trying to be relevant again by converting to Islam and changing her name to Shuhada' Davitt. What makes this lolzy is that she recorded herself singing the Adhan (call to prayer), which is prohibited to be sung by women. Also, for someone who ripped up a picture of the Pope for looking the other way with child molestation, she's fine with a faith that thinks its ok to marry little girls.
 
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