Musical LOLcows -

[lunac]

Yeeessss I'm so glad to see Sondra "Gimme a BEAT!" Prill was covered here. It's a shame so much of her footage has been lost...this is one I periodically Google, just to see if she's ever been tracked down or there's an update.

 

[hm yeah]

little thing, but

you know in some of the internetaristocrat's vids, he has a song play about how it's okay to cry. when i first heard it, my thoughts were "david tanny has a song about how it's okay to cry???" then i realized it was barney the dinosaur.

and then i realized that i have never seen david tanny and barney the dinosaur in the same room together.

 

[SpasticusAutisticus]

Move over Sir Mix-A-Lot. Move over Macklemore. Seattle has a new rap king, and his name is Fantasy A.

I noticed his flyer posted around town (info redacted even though he doxxes himself regularly), and it sounded more promising than the wannabe rappers hawking their CDs in front of Westlake Station so I had to check it out. I'll let the music speak for itself.

I wasn't totally sure he was a lolcow, but his YouTube has some choice cuts, including this video where he calls out a nemesis in an OPL-esque manner:

 

[Yaoi Huntress Earth]

I remember reading about some lolzworthy stuff about Beethoven in Mental Floss magazine. One being that he was a peeping tom, got caught and screamed at the lawmen, "you can't arrest me, I'm the great Beethoven". (Three days later his friends paid his bail.)

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I can't access YouTube from here, but L. Ron Hubbard.

Basically, as you probably know, L. Ron Hubbard was a science fiction author turned religious guru with the founding of the Church of Scientology, and is generally regarded as a conman. He was also extremely self-promoting and had a tendency to lie outrageously about his achievements. That was all very well at first, but as he got older he started to believe his own publicity, that he was capable of basically anything he put his mind to. At this point, he was surrounded by cultists who didn't dare to say, "No, Ron, you know nothing about music and you sing like gas being expelled from a corpse!" The result was an album called Space Jazz, which is shall we say unique.

 

[ManicPixieDreamGirl]

Move over Sir Mix-A-Lot. Move over Macklemore. Seattle has a new rap king, and his name is Fantasy A.

I noticed his flyer posted around town (info redacted even though he doxxes himself regularly), and it sounded more promising than the wannabe rappers hawking their CDs in front of Westlake Station so I had to check it out. I'll let the music speak for itself.

I wasn't totally sure he was a lolcow, but his YouTube has some choice cuts, including this video where he calls out a nemesis in an OPL-esque manner:

I know that Wesley Willis has already been mentioned, but here me out! This kid reminds me of a young Wesley. Honestly, after I heard that it was Jello Biafra (lead singer of the Dead Kennedys) who discovered him playing his keyboard on the streets of Chicago, I realized that miracles DO happen.

Jello Biafra: King of Trolls

EDIT: Just found this... WOW. I am honored to be the 5th whole person to watch this video. This is the kind of song that would make parent go, "Aaaawwww! I am so proud of you, honey!" And only a parent.

 

[SpasticusAutisticus]

I know that Wesley Willis has already been mentioned, but here me out! This kid reminds me of a young Wesley.

It's a bit of a leap to compare Fantasy A to Wesley Willis, but I can hear some similarities: repetitive song structure, reliance on canned beats, and complete lack of vocal talent. However, Wesley Willis covered a much more diverse set of topics, like whooping the asses of superheroes, rock shows he attended, airlines he flew, and mammals whose genitals should be sucked. Fantasy A, if you're reading this, write a song about whooping Phoenix Jones's ass!

 

[Abethedemon]

Florence Foster Jenkins might count

As might the Legendary Stardust Cowboy

I second Charles Manson. My dad has one of his albums, it's really hard to listen to, harder when you consider what he did.

 

[Randall Fragg]

Would "Black Out Band" be a borderline example? They're the ones behind the infamous "Video Games" song.

I can totally see how they came up with that song.
"Now Jimmy, it's time for you and your little friends to practice."
"Mom, you've been making us practice nonstop for the last three weeks. Can't we, just, like, play video games over at Kenny's house for a day or something?"
"You just want to play video games? Son, I think we've got your first hit song!"
""

 

[Abethedemon]

John Sakars?

 

[Mechalcanos]

Joshua Michaels

Both the song and the music video are an amazing trainwreck to witness.

Also, William Shatner.

I probably could link to his cover of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, but this one just makes me laugh a lot more.

 

[Shokew]

Crazy bitch FAIL... Right here:

BTW, the low quality? Old as fuck videos I found.

HERE, you can her Youtube Page, too (Since she's still doing this awful music!): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC2iAkypR-u-0mi2oLFsGtMA

 

[Abethedemon]

I guess this might count

 

[Roger Rabbit]

How come nobody has mentioned Kayne West?

 

[Abethedemon]

How come nobody has mentioned Kayne West?

I guess he counts as a lolcow, but I like his stuff imho.

 

[Christ-Chan]

I think Frankie from Emmure might be one of the funniest people in show-business, only slightly less funny than the fact that Emmure has fans. Dude thinks a secret lizard-people rules the world and that Ryu from video game series Street Fighter is his other personality AND writes songs about it, all the while selling "edgy" shirts with mass-shooters on them for Fuck's sake.

 

[mardonik]

I guess he counts as a lolcow, but I like his stuff imho.

Kanye's not a lolcow. He knows exactly what he's doing with those goofy antics; it's just a way to keep himself in the headlines. He's a very intelligent and successful troll.

And while I'm not that familiar with hip hop, his music is pretty catchy.

 

[Abethedemon]

I think that Dave Mustaine of Megadeth counts as a lolcow. He spews conspiracy theory babble, has an inflated ego and got kicked out of Metallica for drinking too much. I saw him live once though, it was pretty cool.
http://grantland.com/hollywood-prospectus/dave-mustaine-tk/

 

[Yaoi Huntress Earth]

Sinead O'Conner has become one in her later years and from the readings on her cyber entries (via The FPlus) will tell you why.

 

[ManicPixieDreamGirl]

Anyone in the swag rap scene, especially the white ones.
Riff Raff
Dirt Nasty
Andy Milonakis
V-Nasty
Lil Debbie

Not really lolcows, but rather unamusing caricatures.

I was gonna say, I am not sure if Andy Milonakis counts as a lolcow. He's going for the lolcow thing but, ultimately, remains highly cognizant of how ridiculous his actions and words are. Lolcows are impoverished of self-awareness.

He's actually the cousin of one of my best friends. She says that he's much wittier and sarcastic IRL but that his roles always feature a childish slant to it because of his appearance. She also said that he's really intelligent, chill, and totally anti-Hollywood douchebaggery. I spent my early adolescence sperging over his web videos. He's one of the few people I've ever seen on TV and thought, "Whoa, I wanna meet this dude."

But since Andy doesn't mind being milked for the lulz, here's a few good ones: