Musical LOLcows -

NobodyInParticular

Steven Feelsperg
kiwifarms.net
Eh, while Amanda Palmer has some definite lolcow tendencies and definitely needs to grow up (and this is coming from a fan, mind), I'd say Emilie Autumn is worse. For one thing, Palmer's only really gotten noticeably lolcow-ish over the past few years, from what I've seen, but Autumn's pretty much been like this her whole career. (See also: Trisol.)

Plus Palmer has some degree of lyrical depth beyond "I HATE MEN AND AM TOTES BIPOLAR U GUISE!!!!11111 LOL SO CRAZY", and having seen both of them live, I can also say she puts on a much better live show, in that hers actually includes her actually making music. Autumn's shows are basically her doing karaoke of her own songs--she does sing them, but all the instruments are prerecorded. Even her violin, for the most part (I think she took it out for a few songs but for the most part it was canned). And keep in mind that Autumn got her start as a violinist, and actually is pretty skilled there--you'd think she'd put some actual focus on the thing she's really, genuinely good at, but nope. :(

Finally, there seems to be a lot more active malice coming from Autumn. Palmer seems more clueless than outright malicious to me (though she's incredibly clueless, to be fair), but Autumn just seems cruel a lot of the time, so I really can't bring myself to pity her in any way, ever--I just kind of laugh and roll my eyes at her batshittery.

So while Palmer is a bit of a lolcow, I'd say that if you had to compare her and Autumn, the latter is worse. (And honestly, I'm not sure why there's as much comparison between the two as there is, since aside from having somewhat similar aesthetics and belonging to the same basic genre, there's really not a lot in common between their music. Again, this is speaking as someone who listens to both of them.)
I would have to agree with you here. I am a fan of both of their music (not so much the later stuff for either of them...EA's last album's lyrics sounds like random clippings from tumblr sites) and have seen both live when I didn't know about their lolcowery. I briefly met Amanda Palmer after a Dresden Dolls show. Of all the musicians I have met, she easily came across as the most narcissistic, so it is really isn't that surprising that she has progressed to clueless self-promotion. At least she played live music (and with Brian fairly well).

Emilie Autumn can't even do that. Her live shows are basically Hot Topic Pussycat Dolls with lots of girl-on-girl fanservice that EA tries to explain away as feminism. She makes all of these sexual innuendos on stage and gets hussy when someone from the stage yells out "show us your treasure chest" in the theme of her lame pirate based innuendo. She is the only artist I came to specifically see that I ended up heckling instead.
 
X

XH 502

Guest
kiwifarms.net
Emilie Autumn can't even do that. Her live shows are basically Hot Topic Pussycat Dolls with lots of girl-on-girl fanservice that EA tries to explain away as feminism. She makes all of these sexual innuendos on stage and gets hussy when someone from the stage yells out "show us your treasure chest" in the theme of her lame pirate based innuendo. She is the only artist I came to specifically see that I ended up heckling instead.
Emilie seems to heavily incorporate innuendo into her public persona, even outside her concerts. I've never actually seen her perform, but I've met her during a screening of The Devil's Carnival and later in a casual setting. She was just oozing innuendo and constantly flirting with the crowd in the theater. It threw me for a loop because I was under the impression that she's asexual. Apparently that's not the case or she's the most sexual asexual I've ever encountered.
 

Pinball Lizard

The best thing you could ever do is die
kiwifarms.net
Do Insane Clown Posse count? I know they've had numerous run-ins with the jerkops, at least.
 

AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
Do Insane Clown Posse count? I know they've had numerous run-ins with the jerkops, at least.
I'm not sure if they do personally, but juggalos certainly do.

Whatever else they've done, ICP has made a lot of money. I've also seen them interviewed and they seemed to have a sense of humor about their ridiculous schtick.
 

FemaleGoodra

Solidus Slug
kiwifarms.net
I'm surprised no one has mentioned Reh Dogg yet. In addition to his... questionable rap skills, he has a tendency to call out people he doesn't like in his songs. And watch these while you can, because he's been known to delete his videos on a whim.

Why yes, he did film himself in the shower for this video!

This looks less like a music video and more like a video of a family reunion.

10/10 great lipsynching

For a song titled "Exploding Anger," its video starts off really calming.
 

KFC

✈ ✈ █ █
kiwifarms.net
How about Kail? He was this guy from the mid-to-late 2000's who wanted to be the next Weird Al. He is infamous for making a song called "Tails is Hot." Because around the time the song was released (2008) Sonic was still the spergiest fanbase out there, he had his own batshit fanbase. Not long after releasing the album the song was on ("Humor Songs"), he dropped off the face of the Earth. He resurfaced in 2011, only to focus on some podcast no one cared about. Because most of his content was on MySpace, a lot of it is lost, save for a mostly-empty YouTube channel and an ED page.
 

TheMightyMonarch

Yee
kiwifarms.net
Tonetta isn't a lolcow, but people probably get a laugh out of him anyways.
Fuck, I love Tonetta. There was a period in 2011 where I would show that video to almost everyone I knew just to get a rise out of them. His gimmick is bizarre and his lyrics are just wtf but other than that, he's pretty damn talented. Pressure Zone is catchy as hell.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned Reh Dogg yet. In addition to his... questionable rap skills, he has a tendency to call out people he doesn't like in his songs. And watch these while you can, because he's been known to delete his videos on a whim.

Why yes, he did film himself in the shower for this video!

This looks less like a music video and more like a video of a family reunion.

10/10 great lipsynching

For a song titled "Exploding Anger," its video starts off really calming.
I came into this thread, specifically to see if anyone he mentioned Reh Dogg. As I got to the last page of this thread, I started to assume that nobody did and was getting ready to post Why Must I Cry. But lo and behold, you did! I think he might be my favorite lolcow, music wise. I once went on a date with a guy who told me that he was pen pals for him for a bit. He told him that (probably not sincerely, at least I hope) he loved his music and Reh Dogg replied with that he was grateful that he recognized real talent. For someone who's absolutely awful at rapping, he's got a Kayne West sized ego on him. At least Kayne is decent.

Necro is another rap related lolcow. He's a really white guy who tends to have super sexually explicit lyrics in his songs. But they're also really bad. With such classics as "I'd like to leave my dick in you forever". "All The Hotties Eat the Jizz" and "Butt Plugs" are actual titles of his songs. Despite all this, he seems to have quite a following.

Here's probably the sleaziest thing you seen all week. I remember seeing this five years ago and laughing so hard that I couldn't breathe.
 
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stateira

kiwifarms.net
Honestly, early black metal had a lot of lolcows.
Oh, and she's a total radfem.
How so? Does she argue for lesbian separatism or that the entire concept of gender should be eradicated, that the family unit is inherently sexist, or that seeking change within "the system" is useless?
 

Abethedemon

Trve and Honest
kiwifarms.net
Sun Ra is not a Lolcow, but he's worth discussing here.
He basically believed he was from Saturn and wrote epic, cosmic albums about his "Equation." He was definitely intelligent, and also a great musician, and he might have been making a commentary on the segregation that took place during his time in Alabama.
 

silvana-sama

dark empress of surprise pickles
kiwifarms.net
alright so it was either here or obscure lolcows, but we're here to get musical so i thought i'd share this talent with you guys on our very own jukebox

he's like the kevin bloody wilson of intoxicated jesus music and confusing shit, and also a helpful tutorial on making biofuel which is what originally lead me to discover this gem of youtube

ladies and gentlemen, i give you craigggy


sing along everybody!

 

Alberto Balsalm

No Xmas for John Quays
kiwifarms.net
I mentioned them elsewhere before, but I think The Gerogerigegege are somewhere between lolcow and horrorcow. They have this... Nick Bate-esque fixation on ruining their lives and being as disgusting as possible, except they brand it as nihilistic performance art. (Same obsession with shit, too.) Some of their shenanigans are amusing:
The Gerogerigegege is known for their releasing extremely limited edition records such as 1989's 昭和 (Shōwa), which bookended a recording of people having sex with "Kimi ga Yo", the Japanese national anthem (the sleeve was a picture of the Ramones with nothing mentioning The Gerogerigegege at all), and the Night EP, which features what seems to be a recording of a man defecating into a toilet after the usual "1 2 3 4!!" count. The album Recollections of Primary Masturbation contains 338 songs, including the entire Tokyo Anal Dynamite album as one track and ten minutes (spread over two tracks) containing 223 previously unreleased songs. There are also some non-musical conceptual releases, including This Is Shaking Box Music part 2, which is a destroyed cassette copy of the Mother Fellatio EP. Another, "Art is over" consists of a single octopus tentacle housed in a cassette box. These non-music releases were typically released in even smaller quantities than the actual music releases, in quantities of 50 or less. Similar concepts are rampant throughout the band's catalogue, and often, the more ridiculous the theme or packaging of a release is, the more sought after it is by collectors. Copies of some Gerogerigegege records go for hundreds of dollars.
But the big picture... not so much.
Juntaro Yamanouchi met the other founding member Tetsuya Endou, also known as GERO 30, in a particularly deviant gay S&M club. And this is what their average concert looked like, according to Yamanouchi:
The contents of the show was nothing but to eat each other the shit of GERO 30 and mine and twist about in our pee and shit. While we played such performances, the audience, mainly middle-aged people, was jacking off. Anyway, all we could hear in the darkened space was panting voices of such men and excited snorts. Such experiences, beyond all description I could give, has been made most of the time in the pieces and lives of THE GEROGERIGEGEGE.
...Yeah. These guys are unlike your usual grindcore musicians. They're not making songs about shit and vomit just to piss people off, they're doing it because it gets them hard as hell.
Although they were obviously never very well-known, a seemingly official VHS tape containing one of their live performances has surfaced online. I would recommend not clicking this unless you are prepared to see an overweight Japanese man with his dick stuck in a vacuum cleaner.
 

Smelvin

kiwifarms.net
I'm not sure if they do personally, but juggalos certainly do.

Whatever else they've done, ICP has made a lot of money. I've also seen them interviewed and they seemed to have a sense of humor about their ridiculous schtick.
From what I've seen, ICP themselves seem like alright dudes. Dumb as hell, but a sort of well-meaning, lovable kind of stupid. I could probably stand to be around them much more than most artists who are way better than they are. Plus they can be funny when they want to be. Too bad apparently they never want to be in any of their music.

Big Money Rustlahs was fucking amazing, though. Can't tell if it was for all the right reasons or all the wrong ones. Either way my grilfriend and I still quote it to this day.

Anyway, as for musical lolcows, gotta throw in Ken Ashcorp, AKA ForeverPandering. Does horrendous weeaboo raps and other songs where he tries to sound sexy and cool, but his perpetually-16-years-old sounding voice and autistic over-enunciation completely kill it (and this is overlooking his horrendous subject matter). Also he has horrendous subject matter. If you have even a passing interest in anything from japan this chucklefuck will make you feel humiliated for it. Here's a little ditty he wrote (desperately trying to sound like some new breed of college rock) about a Japanese game where you play as a little boy who gets raped repeatedly by increasingly disgusting looking monster girls. He's apparently a big fan.


Also he has a fursona of an anime-esque crossdressing lady-boy panda bear. And he nuked his videos in a huff because people liked his joke videos more than they liked his garbage songs.
 

RepQuest

Unfunny
kiwifarms.net
Do Insane Clown Posse count? I know they've had numerous run-ins with the jerkops, at least.
I'd say that their fans are more cowish than ICP themselves.

Anyway, as for musical lolcows, gotta throw in Ken Ashcorp, AKA ForeverPandering.
Ashcorp isn't a cow for his music. If anything, he's a cow for shutting down his YouTube channel when he was known for doing scathing commentary.
 
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