Musical LOLcows -

CatFace

Hey Mom, I’m Becoming an Indian Woman
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Ah, The Gerogerigegege! "Let's jack off into a recording microphone and release it as a limited edition vinyl!" Do you know that their name apparently means The Vomit Diarreah Band?
"Gero" is the onomatopoea for vomiting. "Geri" means diarreah. I thought the GeGeGe had something to do with GeGeGe no Kintaro, but I might be wrong about that last part.

They are certianly called "Vomit Diarreah" something though. Or perhaps more accurately "Vomiting up Diarreah" something.
 

Alberto Balsalm

No Xmas for John Quays
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"Gero" is the onomatopoea for vomiting. "Geri" means diarreah. I thought the GeGeGe had something to do with GeGeGe no Kintaro, but I might be wrong about that last part.

They are certianly called "Vomit Diarreah" something though. Or perhaps more accurately "Vomiting up Diarreah" something.
"GeGeGe" is an exclamation of disgust repeated three times. They're the "Vomit Diarrhea Yuck Yuck Yuck".

Rumor has it that the original members are the resident creepy dudes in a nursing home now. Their target audience of older men is literally dead.
 

Yaoi Huntress Earth

My avatar is problematic.
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Nicki Minaj is definitely heading into that territory is she doesn't watch herself. I'm awaiting the day that she (or Azula Banks) discovers that Boney James exists and tries to go after him.
 

Mystia

Spankety Spankety Spankety!
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Emilie seems to heavily incorporate innuendo into her public persona, even outside her concerts. I've never actually seen her perform, but I've met her during a screening of The Devil's Carnival and later in a casual setting. She was just oozing innuendo and constantly flirting with the crowd in the theater. It threw me for a loop because I was under the impression that she's asexual. Apparently that's not the case or she's the most sexual asexual I've ever encountered.
Emilies Definition of asexuality is quite... well. Wrong. She explains her Asexuality with the fact that while she actually enjoys sex, she claims that never met anyone who was good at it or something. Which... makes no sense at all.

Lets not forget how she makes her whole personality revolving about her BIPOLAR PERSONALITY DISORDER.
 
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*Asterisk*

Five-Percenter
True & Honest Fan
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Personally, I think Azealia Banks is the sexiest woman in the world and I love her music, but she's such a fucking drama llama. I don't know if she's as bad as Kanye, but just to give an indication of how bad she is, I propose an experiment:

Google has a search feature which allows targeting your search towards specific dates. Unless I'm mistaken, Azealia first started blowing up in September of 2011. I'm positive that if you search for her name on Google to any date between September of 2011 and now, you'll find something really embarrassing, and it'll often be released directly by her.

I guess we all have artists and figures we love in spite of them being a total embarrassment. Bambi's just one of mine, I guess.
 
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cukurcuka

iggy pop enthusiast
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Billy Corgan is a good example of this
  • Frontman of Smashing Pumpkins
  • Is a fan of Alex Jones and infowars
  • Constantly shitposting about chemtrails on Twitter
  • Got into a Twitter beef with ex girlfriend Courtney Love because he didnt attend Francis Bean Cobain's sweet 16 birthday
  • Made up a Catholic/Buddhist hippy religion
  • Did some pretentious 8 hour long performance of ambient Siddartha shit
 

AnOminous

Really?
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
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Billy Corgan is a good example of this
  • Frontman of Smashing Pumpkins
  • Is a fan of Alex Jones and infowars
  • Constantly shitposting about chemtrails on Twitter
  • Got into a Twitter beef with ex girlfriend Courtney Love because he didnt attend Francis Bean Cobain's sweet 16 birthday
  • Made up a Catholic/Buddhist hippy religion
  • Did some pretentious 8 hour long performance of ambient Siddartha shit
Don't forget got in an online slapfest with Verified User @Devi Ever.
 

ZepFloyd94

kiwifarms.net
Eddie Van Halen became this to me after his Billboard interview.
  • Completely destroyed Van Halen's reputation from a cutting edge band to yet another nostalgia act that happens to fill arenas and amphitheaters.
  • Blames everyone but himself for his problems with the lead singers and Michael Anthony.
  • Totally oblivious as to why he got tongue cancer (He actually believes that electromagnetic energy on his guitar pick gave him the cancer, and not smoking like a chimney)
  • Openly admitted to touring with David Lee Roth just for the money.
  • Fires bandmates for the most idiotic and often childish reasons (He initially fired Sammy Hagar in 1996 when he wanted to take time off to be with his wife and newborn baby and then fired Michael in 2004 simply because he was friends with Sammy)
  • Contradicts himself in interviews (he claimed to stop following music after Cream broke up, then immediately say that he and Alex went to every single Led Zeppelin concert in LA)
 
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TheMightyMonarch

Yee
kiwifarms.net
Nicki Minaj is definitely heading into that territory is she doesn't watch herself. I'm awaiting the day that she (or Azula Banks) discovers that Boney James exists and tries to go after him.
The more I hear about Nicki Minaj's antics these days, the more I'm convinced that she needs a new publicist or something. There's nothing wrong with talking about racism and sexism in the music industry but you might not wanna make yourself look like a egotistical douche at the same time. Azaelia Banks is definitely a lolcow though and makes Nicki look sane.

These days thanks to Twitter and whatnot, it's a lot easier to spot celebrity lolcows than ever before.
 
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*Asterisk*

Five-Percenter
True & Honest Fan
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The more I hear about Nicki Minaj's antics these days, the more I'm convinced that she needs a new publicist or something. There's nothing wrong with talking about racism and sexism in the music industry but you might not wanna make yourself look like a egotistical douche at the same time. Azaelia Banks is definitely a lolcow though and makes Nicki look sane.

These days thanks to Twitter and whatnot, it's a lot easier to spot celebrity lolcows than ever before.
The funny thing about Azealia is I'm certain even if she got a new publicist that kept her on a short leash, it probably wouldn't change anything. She's worked so hard at giving her image the Kanye treatment, nobody would see anything else from her as believable.

Nicki has been much better at hiding her dirty laundry. Most people don't even bring up the obvious and repeated plastic surgery.
 

Yaoi Huntress Earth

My avatar is problematic.
kiwifarms.net
The more I hear about Nicki Minaj's antics these days, the more I'm convinced that she needs a new publicist or something. There's nothing wrong with talking about racism and sexism in the music industry but you might not wanna make yourself look like a egotistical douche at the same time. Azaelia Banks is definitely a lolcow though and makes Nicki look sane.

These days thanks to Twitter and whatnot, it's a lot easier to spot celebrity lolcows than ever before.
What seems off is if there is racism against her, how come she has six other nominations? If she had none, there would be something.
 

Tehshigelisok

I put the "Burger" in "Assburger"
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I see this one on Facebook a lot:


The "My name is John Daker." *Deer in the headlights look* part gets me every time. And the funny part is, the mush-mouthed piano lady is actually doing a decent job playing.

And this one:


I don't know what's the best part: the cheesy 80s keyboard, the unused grand piano everyone is huddled around, the line "He is like a Mountie, he always gets his man", or the obvious fakery of the guitar player (there isn't even a guitar in most of the song!). These guys were apparently somewhat famous and became rather memetic over their cheesy Jesus music.
 
Q

QE 757

Guest
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VLAD

I may be but small, but I will die a colossus.
True & Honest Fan
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I think Blake Judd of Nachtmystium is heavy metal's greatest sadcow.


yep that's his mugshot

So let's rewind to 2010. Nachtmystium, a US black metal outfit from Chicago, is the darling of the metal press. After a few albums of boilerplate Burzum worship, they managed to fuse the stagnant genre with influences from psych rock, industrial, synthpop, you name it. It was very catchy and creative stuff, and Blake is the man at the helm of the band calling the shots and reaping the rewards.

Unbeknownst to the public at large, he's also a prolific scammer. He's selling off rare records in his collection that he doesn't have, he's selling rights to his (or his friend's) band catalogs that he doesn't even own, and then when the other party asks about where their merchandise is he just stops answering their calls. He had been pulling shit like this for a few years beforehand to hear other people tell it, but it was only in 2010 that his scams started picking up steam. That's because he got himself addicted to heroin.

I'll let his former bandmate and best man at his wedding, Neill Jameson, tell this story.
In 2010 I was in Chicago recording Krieg’s “comeback” record. I had tried my best to avoid him during this trip, but on the night I was meant to leave there was a terrible snowstorm. Blake offered to put me up at his place until the weather cleared and I could fly back home, so I decided to stay in and get some sleep. He woke me up around three in the morning by sitting on my chest and holding me down. I was aware he was fucking around with heroin under the misguided idea that it would help him with his music. His idolatry of Kurt Cobain was very well known among his friends. He told me when I woke up that we were going to take a cab (in a fucking blizzard) to the ghetto to buy heroin. He told me that I was a “poser” for covering the Velvet Underground without ever shooting up. We got into a somewhat physical altercation, and he told me “You need this. It’s time you had another tragedy in your life” before calling me a “faggot” and leaving. By the time he got home with the drugs I was asleep on the floor of O’Hare. That was the last time I saw him in any kind of good physical shape.
You can read Jameson's entire account here. It's long and very depressing.

His scummy behavior became publicly known around 2013, when the head of a label that Blake had sold his nonexistent record collection to posted a public advisory thread on his forums. People from all over the metal scene started coming out of the woodwork to share their stories of how Blake the Flake ripped them off. The thread now stands at 54 pages and counting, and Nuclear War Now even released commemorative T-shirts to spread awareness.



Later that year, Blake was arrested for theft after stealing a guitar from his roommate and pawning it for smack money. After being released on probation, he wrote a lot of sob stories about how he had turned over a new leaf, wanted a fresh start, typical junkie shit. But let's think about how his type operates. You've ripped off your bandmates, your coworkers, and every business relationship you've established, but you've ignored the biggest mark of them all - your fans.

In 2014, he started the publicity campaign for his new (and last) album with an ~*~exclusive bundle preorder~*~ where fans could get the record plus some associated merch at a discounted price, direct from him instead of buying from the label or a third-party seller. Needless to say, he didn't have any of this merch. Once his label found out that a musician they had signed was ripping off his fans to the tune of hundreds, if not thousands, they got in contact with each and every scammed fan and made sure they received the merchandise they had ordered. They also terminated their working relationship with Nachtmystium immediately. Century Media's a pretty class act.

Today, Blake Judd is off the grid. Nachtmystium's Facebook page disappeared after the bundle fiasco, and everyone in the heavy metal scene knows that he's pretty much industry toxin. Rumors pop up on the "official" hatewatching page every once in a while. One guy claims he saw Blake panhandling outside of a McDonald's. One guy says Blake came into his record store claiming he was working with Vice on a documentary about the homeless. Another claims he saw him sucking dick for crack (optimistic).

In classic ADF fashion, he's burned every bridge except the one he's living under. But isn't it all worth it in the end once you end up on Family Guy?



 
Q

QE 757

Guest
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Trust your Heart is an one-man Christian heavy metal band from Italy.
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Trust_Your_Heart/3540394662

The mastermind behind this project , Cesare Sannino , has released quite an impressive discography
with his previous band , Animae Capronii :
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Animae_Capronii/101233

A reviewer from Encyclopedia Metallum wasn't impressed with Trust your Heart's self titled album .
http://www.metal-archives.com/reviews/Trust_Your_Heart/Trust_Your_Heart/501714/

Official band site with artist approved downloads :
http://trustyourheartband.webs.com/

And how does his latest album sound like ?


His music is album after album similar monotonous stuff , never a sign of improving despite doing this for years.
 
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2al

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Azealia Banks is an up and coming rapper but barely known here in the US, she was signed to Interscope and was going to be on one of Lady Gaga's songs but blew it when she got into a Twitter feud with her. She's burned many bridges by getting into hilarious Twitter feuds. Her breakout album Broke But With Expensive Taste has been delayed time and time again presumably because she was busy feuding with music producers and the like on Twitter. The album was supposed to come out last January.
Am I the only person to see parallels between her and Brianna Wu? :)
 
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Alberto Balsalm

No Xmas for John Quays
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Bull of Heaven is a group I like on principle - a couple über-pretentious hipsters who release shit like negative-length "albums", albums split into separately archived 1-second files, and albums of single sounds stretched beyond the duration of the known universe, with occasional legit pieces of music sprinkled within. Unfortunately, despite their self-made reputation as musical trolls, they weren't so great at taking the inevitable criticism they got for their un-music. A couple users on Rate Your Music digested a portion of their audible albums and left scathing reviews, which incensed the Bull of Heaven duo so that they left a series of angry messages right on the front page of their official website:
This guy named Poohkali sure has a lot of dudes sucking on his dick.
Must be the thrill of a lifetime, since he obviously has no real friends.
Speaking of, there's another closet homosexual calling himself Herrahuu.
The two of them should get together and compare notes on ABBA and 311.
If we put a message on our website for one day, and you're ALREADY whining about it,
you care WAY more than we do. We're laughing—nay, guffawing at your abject puerility.
If we decide to make insanely technical music, we will, but not because YOU want us to.
We are capable of anything. Your mewling crybaby bullshit, however, is ineffectual and glib.
Special message for Poohkali: Let's compare lives in twenty years.
Hey, why wait? Let's do it now, you fat, stupid, ugly fuck.
Not only are you a worthless twat for incessantly sprucing up your sad
little RYM page, you're a waste of the very air I breathe.
Your cunting Internerd friends may think you have a redonkulous sense
of humor, but you're functionally illiterate. Just barely.
Moreover, your insipid attempts at comedy smack of desperation. Your
observations aren't clever, and you're a real loser to boot.
And if I don't mind saying so, you're a slobbering fucktard with the
worst taste in music ever. Yngwie Malmsteen? Enough said.
The problm is, you actually think your wee opinion matters to us.
Don't be so sure of yourself, Big Guy. We think you're groovy!
What, with that sparkling wit, that rapier-like, pungent, incisive
tongue. You car-loving, 39 year old little sharpshooter, you.
Then one of the guys made an account on RYM, upvoted his own music, heckled the critics, got banned, and then complained about the banning on their site while still trying to pretend it was "a fan". Gotta love them insecure narcissists.
 

Scandihoovian

Pale-faced devil
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Digging up some David Tanny. How can this gem be so neglected? It shouldn't be stuffed behind "Dead Bug on the wall" and "Happy Boy"

 

An Sionnach Seang

Justin Bieber shit's like a cat!
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Scouting For Girls were a fifth-rate band who became inexplicably popular in the UK 10 years ago with some irritatingly gimmicky, formulaic and borderline autistic songs; the gimmicks in question being a) using the same four chords for every single song, and b) constantly stopping and starting their songs instead of just letting them run

this was their first, and biggest hit, with laughably awful lyrics which contain 21 occurrences of "she's so lovely" and no less than 36 occurrences of "I don't know":


they had a second album and another stab at fame in 2010, but fizzled out and faded into irrelevance after that

in fairness, they were quite original in their own way, though only because anyone who'd previously thought of their gimmicks had dismissed them as crap

ed: just remembered, they also had a natty line in blatantly ripping off better artists' songs, e.g. Elvis Ain't Dead (Manfred Mann's Earth Band, "Blinded By The Light") or Famous (The Buggles, "Video Killed The Radio Star"), further cementing their reputation as total and utter hacks
 
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Wesley Willis

Rock over London, Burn down Chicago!
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Billy Corgan is a good example of this
  • Frontman of Smashing Pumpkins
  • Is a fan of Alex Jones and infowars
  • Constantly shitposting about chemtrails on Twitter
  • Got into a Twitter beef with ex girlfriend Courtney Love because he didnt attend Francis Bean Cobain's sweet 16 birthday
  • Made up a Catholic/Buddhist hippy religion
  • Did some pretentious 8 hour long performance of ambient Siddartha shit

Owns a pro wrestling company. Likely all kayfabe.
 
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