Musicians that are also Lolcows? -

[Guile of the Bolden Ditch]

Brian Evans (writes and records drums for the band CHON) occasionally spergs out on Instagram, revealing his narcissim and inflated ego.
I know he doesn't meet the requirements for a cow but I've been wanting to post about this guy for a while.

A few examples of Brian getting butthurt that barely anyone knows he's recorded drums on CHON's albums

Brian raging about Meinl endorsing CHON (HOW DARE THEY PUT THEIR LOGO ON MY RECORD!), eventually leading to Meinl blocking him

 

[qu_rahn]

Mark Kozelek of Sun Kil Moon and Red House Painters

You might know him as the "Dude, Fix Your Fuckin Face!" guy from Vanilla Sky. He was also one of the bandmates in Almost Famous

The Koz has been writing sad bastard songs since the early 90s, but for the past decade or so all of his albums are essentially spoken word diary entries. Since his acclaimed 2014 album "Benji", he's released over 10 records filled with mundane stories and diatribes, each more pointless and rambling than the last. Several of these albums are double discs, and more than 80 minutes in length. Almost all of these songs are about what he had to eat in this-or-that town, or the last conversations he had on the phone. It's quite Trumpian in a way

• Leftists hate him because he tries to bang what 20 something female fans he has, and he got me-too'd last year
• He had a feud with the band "The War on Drugs", because they played the next stage over during a festival. Mark wrote a song about this experience called "War on Drugs: Suck my Cock"
• All you fuckin hillbillies shut the fuck up
• I Interviewed Mark Kozelek and He Called Me A Bitch On Stage

I honestly love this guy, I think he's hilarious. Some of his music is great. The asshole shtick that he maintains seems to partly be an act, but also just part of his nature.

Spoiler

Mark ranting in Nashville

Here's Mark's song about Michael Jackson- "he's bad, and he's dead and I'm glad!"

here's a Modest Mouse cover Mark did, the first track from an album of covers. I like this release quite a bit - he's a huge Isaac Brock fan apparently

I just checked out the Sun Kil Moon website and Mark has a new album out: Lunch In The Park http://sunkilmoon.com/

 

[Piss!]

Living: Kanye, debatably
Dead: GG Allen

Varg Vikernes. Black metal singer who killed his bandmate (supposedly in self defense), burned down medieval churches, and is now a neo-nazi vlogger and amateur RPG developer.

I bet both GG Allin and Varg would post here.

 

[Ita Mori]

You might know him as the "Dude, Fix Your Fuckin Face!" guy from Vanilla Sky. He was also one of the bandmates in Almost Famous

Damn, now I need to rewatch these Cameron Crowe films.

 

[Stretched Face Bongo]

Ian Brown of the Stone Roses is a conspiracy nut and always posting mad shit on Twitter about the latest thing he's got into his head. There's a few rappers like that too, Lowkey is a bit less out there than he is but he still goes around calling people Illuminati.

Jordan Raskopolous of The Axis Of Awesome trooned out, seemingly out of a mix of autogynephilia, spending too much time on Something Awful, and feeling inadequate compared to his footy player dad so in typical sexist creep fashion decided that failed man = woman. Now he posts lewds and rambling walls of text about how he can't possibly carry the band's equipment around because he's a dainty lady now, even though plenty of female musicians and roadies do just that.

Blood On The Dancefloor are more horrorcows but probably count.

somehow he still looks more masculine than them. what the fuck. forget hauling the bands equipment around. he looks like he could be pulling trucks out of ditches.

 

[EmpireOfTheClouds]

Brian Evans (writes and records drums for the band CHON) occasionally spergs out on Instagram, revealing his narcissim and inflated ego.
I know he doesn't meet the requirements for a cow but I've been wanting to post about this guy for a while.

View attachment 2176535View attachment 2176539
View attachment 2176543
A few examples of Brian getting butthurt that barely anyone knows he's recorded drums on CHON's albums


View attachment 2176538View attachment 2176565
Brian raging about Meinl endorsing CHON (HOW DARE THEY PUT THEIR LOGO ON MY RECORD!), eventually leading to Meinl blocking him

Everyone in Chon are pretty cowish tbh.

 

[benutz]

Iommi is definitely a cow. He's not as bad as Lars Ulrich or whatshisface, that neckbeard sperg from Machine Head, and perhaps I'm just biased because I hate all of Iommi's "music". But yeah, he's right up there for me!

Apparently, back when they were kids, Iommi used to cyberbully Ozzy IRL. Now all he does is ride Ozzy's coattails (and Dio's, too).

Read somewhere that iommi turned up at some one's property (to buy the place) in his Yellow Lambo.

Hard to be a lolcow when you drive a lambo.

He overcame cancer. He's also a phenomenal guitarist, considering he had one of the tips of his fingers cut off.

I don't doubt he's a cunt and a bully. But a cow, not so much imho.

Guy doesn't give a fuck.

Ulrich is a cow, mos deff.

 

[benutz]

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was a brilliant composer and musical prodigy but was also a huge lolcow in his personal life.

Was just checking though the thread to see if anyone had posted Eldritch, and there you are with that seminal photo of him from This corrosion, in your avatar.

Many say that he is a cow. But he is not.

Guy took more amphetamine than all the fucking retards with adhd in 'merica in the last decade. He hasn't released an album in decades, because: it would cost too much and unless you give me 20 gorillion to produce it, then I ain't playing ball.

He makes his living by booking and playing festivals in Europe. Norway, Sweden, Finland, that kind of thing. Rock things that love a bit of Goth on top.

He even calls his 'fans' "Gloom Cows" - how fucking based is that? He loathes all those goth cunts that turn up at his shows wearing black with purple lippy.

He even made his website himself and gave it a bright orange theme just to spite them: http://www.the-sisters-of-mercy.com/

Read everything on there. It's a fucking hoot.

From stolen guitars to why you got no chance of making a living in the music industry. I fucking love him, and I fucking love the band.

Having said that, he's a left leaning cunt who has got a lot to learn.

Misguided, misquoted, misspoken.

He also had a bit of drink problem. But that goes hand in hand with downing grams of pure sulphate I suppose.

Read this interview by him. It's hard to come by and harder to hold:

Sisters - VirginNet Interview

He's an enigma.

When he went in to his record company's office to tell them about his plans for his new record, they said: that will make a cheap album, and he said: no, that's just for the single!

Even got niggers in his vidz. Then again he did get Public Enemy to open up his shows. He's down with the bro's.

Another fucking oddball. But not a cow.

Jim Steinman sealed and approved.

Probably his finest fucking work.


EDIT:
Sorry for double posting. I'm a cunt.

 

[ClownBrew]

Hard to be a lolcow when you drive a lambo.

Two words: Yngwie Malmsteen.

He overcame cancer.

Sometimes cows do that. Especially if they are multi-millionaires who also have access to #ClapForMuhGloriousNHS.

He's also a phenomenal guitarist, considering he had one of the tips of his fingers cut off.

Go anywhere in the Third World and I guarantee you can find some eight-year-old street-corner musician playing with the two remaining toes that haven't yet rotted off or been hacked off by the Tonton Macoute...and I guarantee that kid can play rings around Mr. Eye-ommi.

 

[DigitalSoryu]

Björk, she’s literally into beastiality
https://www.elitedaily.com/entertainment/bjork-into-bestiality-and-nature/1636076

 

[Meriasek]

I bet both GG Allin and Varg would post here.

They'd be so mad about Internet stickers on A&H.

Given recent developments regarding Prince it has been made clear again that Sinead O'Connor is definitely a cow.
Also, Demi Lovato.
Not that either is really fit to be called a "musician" at this point, though...

/edit:
As for Tom Morello, while he is a massive spastic who writes the most boring guitar solos of all time (goddamnit, someone take away his Whammy pedal), his shilling for the Star Wars park is authentic. He's a bona fide geek and had cameo roles on Star Trek before.

I don't know if 100 Gecs are proper lolcows, but their music is so terrible it can barely be called such, and one of them is a troon, so they must be close.

 

[Trianon]

Halsey. There's a small chance having a baby (she's pregnant) will calm her down a bit, but MAN she's funny.

 

[round robin]

Halsey. There's a small chance having a baby (she's pregnant) will calm her down a bit, but MAN she's funny.

She's gonna troon that baby out, there is no doubt in my mind.

 

[macguyver16]

There would have absolutely been a thread on Daniel Johnston had the Farms existed in the 1990s

I remember watching "the Devil and Daniel Johnston" a while ago, and this one chick in it literally states that he was kind of a weird asshole. He also was literally a "mixtape in your Happy Meal" kind of guy.

 

[Seventh Star]

I don't know if he qualifies as a musician, but that fag Adam Neely has recently done a video about music theory and white supremacy. He has been going off the deep end recently.

 

[Raging Capybara]

I don't know if he qualifies as a musician, but that fag Adam Neely has recently done a video about music theory and white supremacy. He has been going off the deep end recently.

I cringed so hard when I first saw that thumbnail on my recommended list. Didn't have the courage to watch the video, what did he talk about there? Was it suicide-inducing bad or just average SJW boring stuff?

 

[Seventh Star]

I cringed so hard when I first saw that thumbnail on my recommended list. Didn't have the courage to watch the video, what did he talk about there? Was it suicide-inducing bad or just average SJW boring stuff?

I gave it the dislike and left. The ratio is pretty bad for a major channel. I don't feel like wasting my time on his shitty content which appeals to:
1) People who don't play
2) People who play but suck at it
3) Meme faggots

 

[ChampFantana]

As a long time metalhead, we'd be better off listing the dudes in the black/death metal scene who AREN'T massive cows.

My juggalo phase ended long ago, but ICP are definitely too self-aware to count as cows.

RATM, Ministry, Rob Flynn and the rest of the sub-moronic antifa ball lickers are utter cows.

 

[Megaroad 2012]

I don't know if he qualifies as a musician, but that fag Adam Neely has recently done a video about music theory and white supremacy. He has been going off the deep end recently.

I saw him simping so hard for world renowned plagiarist Yoko Kanno.

I'm no composer, but my take away is he was arguing if you choose a chord more like than not a song is somehow going to come out sounding completely like all the music she rips off... but to him she's not ripping off music because theres only so many songs one chord can have? And every instrument, vocal melody and timing will be just same too????

Fuck if I know, it was so soy I cringe just thinking about it and reading the Yoko Defense Force retards in the comments. Talk about a community thread that needs making, her fans.

My juggalo phase ended long ago, but ICP are definitely too self-aware to count as cows.

I don't know man, the last time I gave them any interest was when I saw them on Stern talking tough and getting nervous when the big black dude showed up for the fight lol.

 

[Seventh Star]

I saw him simping so hard for world renowned plagiarist Yoko Kanno.

I'm no composer, but my take away is he was arguing if you choose a chord more like than not a song is somehow going to come out sounding completely like all the music she rips off... but to him she's not ripping off music because theres only so many songs one chord can have? And every instrument, vocal melody and timing will be just same too????

Fuck if I know, it was so soy I cringe just thinking about it and reading the Yoko Defense Force retards in the comments. Talk about a community thread that needs making, her fans.

I don't know who that is, but from what you mention it doesn't surprise me. He seems to be the typical snobby youtuber with fake mannerisms to project an image of professionalism, intelligence, and correctness. He is the popularizer of "the riff" as a meme for one, but I used to watch his videos somewhat often, and they were about interesting but ultimately pointless garbage that don't help for most musical styles except for the very eclectic (even prog rock won't see use of some of the things he talks about, like that one vid about some weird 7/11 polyrhythm; yes, I know polyrhythms are used in a few prog bands). Again, he knows far more about theory than about good music... or even logical reasoning and argumentation. There are lots of people who can memorize books and knowledge yet are still at their core, utter morons.

Also I'll give ICP props for one more thing: Their album covers and mythology are pretty fuckin dope, even though I don't like rap. I thought they were just two lame stoner assholes from my impression from the stoner assholes in Homestuck, but they're much better than I thought, more like the typical rock star than anything else in how they act.