My bodypillow wants to marry me, should I do it? - help

Nathan Higgers

You can call me Nate.
kiwifarms.net
So my bodypillow gave me the ultimatum today. She said I should buy her a ring and marry her or else.

On the one hand, she's so pretty and I have had the best of times with her, on the other hand, I am a rational, logical and high T male with desires that a bodypillow may not be able to fulfill. For instance, I have tried several times to talk to my bodypillow about atheism and other rational, scientific ideas, but she has largely been unresponsive and I can't help but feel like she only wants me for my (admittedly a tiny bit out of shape) body.

Should I do it, KiwiFarms?
 

Solid Snek

kiwifarms.net
Sure, go for it. What's the harm? Worst case scenario, it doesn't work out, and you throw her in the dumpster out back. Don't worry about her getting a lawyer, either, since no divorce court is going to side with a pillow over a Higger.

For the lack of responsiveness, have you considered sewing an Alexa into your pillow?
 

Solid Snek

kiwifarms.net
I wouldn't have Jeff Bezos devices in my house; and she is plenty responsive, thank you very much, it's just that she doesn't like to discuss atheism in length.
That's not so bad, though, is it? According to the Bible, a woman's place is to be seen, not heard, especially in matters pertaining to the faith ( 1 Corinthians 14:34-35 )

As the husband, you have the burden to speak to her about atheism, not the other way around. Surely you wouldn't want to subvert God's natural order by forcing her to formulate complex thoughts on atheism?
 

draggs

Kyle Avgvstvs, Antifvs Maximvs. AVE KYLE
kiwifarms.net
Why buy the cow when the milk is free

Some logical rationalist you are

You probably arent even atheist lol probably love you some Allahuuuuu Ackbar all day long
 
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