Kiwi Farms

So my bodypillow gave me the ultimatum today. She said I should buy her a ring and marry her or else.

On the one hand, she's so pretty and I have had the best of times with her, on the other hand, I am a rational, logical and high T male with desires that a bodypillow may not be able to fulfill. For instance, I have tried several times to talk to my bodypillow about atheism and other rational, scientific ideas, but she has largely been unresponsive and I can't help but feel like she only wants me for my (admittedly a tiny bit out of shape) body.

Should I do it, KiwiFarms?
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