my hysterectomy journey 07/18/20 - survived the surgery, big fart at 2:25

[Twinkie]

 

[Revo]

Archive of my hysterectomy journey... (360p):

 

[AlabamaWhitman]

Not Amber resting her mask on her head like a pair of sunglasses lmfaooooo what the fuck

 

[a llama weighs 450lbs]

thumbail looks like she's pushing out her clot baby

 

[Scarboroughgirl]

Time for another saga. I'm mildly surprised the mask fits her moonface.

 

[Nocellara]

How many damn times does she lick her lips... god damn.

"I'm barely eating so that's not good" For the first time in your life, Fatty.

 

[Hamberlard Raid]

Spoiler: REEEEEEEEEEEECAP

• sittin outsahd the cancur center
• tested for coh-vid
• surjeree in 2 days
• coh-vid results 2morrow
• surgery time given 2morrow
• real scared
• she looks like bane here wtf
• sitting on a bench waiteen for beck-ee to drive to her
• I THOUGHT YOU WERE MOBILE BOO-BOO
• why no walk?
• mah skin yellow
• blud work bad
• liver levels up by one point, starts with a b
• IT'S BILIRUBIN YOU FUCKING OVER-RISEN BOWL OF PIZZA DOUGH
• tested negative for coh-vid
• arrival time given
• meth mommy is not with me
• stayeen in hospital for 3 days after
• have to be at hospitahl in 36 mins
• will keep you updated
• maybe beck-ee will?
• hey guys, I JUST GOT MY PUSSY SCOOPED
• eyes are swoleen
• did it!!!
• surjin told me surgery went perfectly
• im in a lot of pain
• MAH LIPS are swollen still
• 13 hours since she arrived at the hospital
• in a room with beck-ee
• on a liquid diet
• BIG UPS LIQUID AMBER
• dis waturr is pretty gr8
• HEY GUYS
• a lot is happeneen
• might make a (w)hole video
• epidural before surjeree
• 2 hours ago, stood for the first time
• really dizzy, naushus
• not used to the meds
• i fill crazy
• eyes are back to jaundiced raccoon normal
• pain will get worse
• cancer was very deep in her uterus
• glad they got it out when they did
• scary
• very grateful
• the surjin is amazeen!
• i had a catheter, took it out 6 hours ago
• have not peed on her own yet
• never pees anyway
• sweateen lahk a pig
• I DONT SWEAT YOU GUYS
• soooooooooo weird
• was bleeding yesterday
• big blood clot came out!
• been sleeping all day and night
• successful shitted and farted
• extremely nauseous whenever i stand up
• my face burns LIKE I AM FIRE
• downfall: not used to sleeping alot
• nurse WAS SHOCKED AT HOW GOOD MY LUNGS ARE
• barely eateen!
• I AM WITHERING AWAY
• today has bin really ruff on me
• worst feeleen i have ever experienced
• day 4: mah skin is rill dry
• my incision is perfect
• not eating alot
• I WANT THE PAIN TO GO THE WAY
• miserubl
• want to go back to mah old self
• WHY ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????
• not doing very good
• might be going home!
• fillin a bit beddur
• not bombarding you with hysterectomy videos
• GOODBYE FUCKERS

tl;dr/w: ridiculously boring for a surgery video/hospital vlog

 

[bobafelty]

"As you guys know, I don't sweat." and "I don't like sleeping all day." Sure. Sure.

"Why MEEEE?" Because fat.

She said she didn't walk the first time they asked her to, and blamed it on the meds making her feel nauseous. Wondering if they've been able to get her up and moving enough yet.

 

[OstREEEch]

“I want it all to go’d away.”
Same Amber, same.

Cry-EEN starts at 9:30-ish, you degenerates

 

[Single_Sock]

I like to think the anesthesiologist got a little rough with amber while she was under and that's why her mouth is messed up.

 

[Orion Balls]

Well, she's alive. And if she didn't have surgery, this is the best acting I've ever seen from her.

 

[Punished Spoon]

She's miserable and she wants this to go away. That was my take watching this. It's almost like...people warned her that this could happen...for example, she talks about the fact her skin is yellow and "one of the proteins was high, I can't remember what it is, it starts with a B." The protein is called Bilirubin, and is what is associated with Jaundice. The farms has long speculated it, and she flat out admitted it.

 

[Clamchowder]

Onward with the crash menopause symptoms and raging mood swings - poor thumby

 

[Nocellara]

Well, she's alive. And if she didn't have surgery, this is the best acting I've ever seen from her.

What surgery though? Weight loss with a cancer cover sob story.

 

[ADHD]

I am sad she didn't have Becky film her getting the WuFlu test.

Onward with the crash menopause symptoms and raging mood swings - poor thumby

It's going to be Cuntylynn on steroids and I can't wait for her first rant.

On a daily basis I don't pee a lot

No shit. What does she think the UTI/bladder infections are from?

I don't like sleeping all the time

Why wouldn't she want to sleep while she's stuck in the hospital? She can't really do anything otherwise.

 

[Taco Bell Chihuahua]

I love how quickly she turned off the water works because the doctor said she’s fine and ready to go home. Lol. The theatrics are too much.

 

[lethalshroom]

Istg, I'd cut her fucking tongue off

 

[Nocellara]

When she starts to "cry" she is about to burst out laughing.

She is LOVING this.

 

[GargoyleGorl]

You know, I think most people recovering from surgery, hopped up on painkillers and feeling like death, have a moment of "why me". It's understandable.

Trouble is, AL busts that out all the damn time. I'm sure we all remember, "I just want to lay in a field of sunflowers and ask god, 'Why me? Why was I chosen to be 500 lbs?'"

She wants to go "back to normal". Okay. What's different? She's lying in bed, watching TV. She's not able to walk or even stand for more than a few moments. She's actually sweating, not "glistening," so she has a fan pointed directly at her. All of this is pretty standard. She's in pain, but she didn't say she wanted the pain to stop -- in fact, the pain itself got surprisingly little mention.

What did get a mention? Not eating. "I'm on a liquid diet immediately after surgery. It's awful!" "I can't eat, and it's really not good for me! I must eat! *gets teary-eyed* I just want to go back to normal!"

She says shthooo much more than she intends to. It's remarkable.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

Pressing F for the team of nurses that had to catheterize her.