MY NEW WEIGHT LOSS PLAN - aww shit here we go again, 08/07/2020

How long until Amber's Noom coach blocks her?


  • Total voters
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pr3nt177

"I am suicidal if you don't believe me ask my mum"
kiwifarms.net
I don’t think the word “journey” means what Amberlynn thinks it means.

Pro tip: If you’ve spent the better part of your life on a “weight loss journey”, then it stops being a journey and is basically your daily life.

Also: I can’t help but be impressed with how they built a whole fucking industry on losing weight, and basically repackaging and selling all this shit that people already know!

They’re all basically shilling the same shit:

1: Dont gorge yourself, eat less than X amount of calories.

2: Eat this rarely, eat this sometimes, eat this a lot.

Anything else? Nope, that’s pretty much it. And folks still pay money for what is basically gradeschool-tier concepts.
Yeah but these gluttons won't have someone to blame.
 

beautiful person

kiwifarms.net
So she said she would binge 4K calories at night, let’s do some calorie comparisons just for funsies since she doesn’t say what she would eat. (And I have a hard time imagining what 4K calories looks like)

4k calories could be:
7 BigMac hamburgers from McDonalds. (563 cal. each)
7 Crunchwrap Supremes from Taco Bell. (530 cal. each)
4 Pints of Ben and Jerry’s (1,000 cal. each)
7 King Sized Snicker Bars (540 cal. each)
1 Entire Jar of Peanut Butter and some change (avg. 3,000 cal per jar, brand dependent)
33 Large Bananas (121 cal. each)

What she is actually eating during binging we may never know. But what I have concluded is that’s a lot of food.
Based on the examples you gave and how I picture Amber eating/binging, I'm going to guess that 4k is a generous estimate.
If I was the owner of the company that makes this app, I would be terrified that this toxic cunt is damaging my app's reputation just by talking about it. Everything she touches with her beetus paws turns to shit.
She's not going to be on it long enough to make an impact on their reputation.
 

Masta

Faggot
kiwifarms.net
So she said she would binge 4K calories at night, let’s do some calorie comparisons just for funsies since she doesn’t say what she would eat. (And I have a hard time imagining what 4K calories looks like)

4k calories could be:
7 BigMac hamburgers from McDonalds. (563 cal. each)
7 Crunchwrap Supremes from Taco Bell. (530 cal. each)
4 Pints of Ben and Jerry’s (1,000 cal. each)
7 King Sized Snicker Bars (540 cal. each)
1 Entire Jar of Peanut Butter and some change (avg. 3,000 cal per jar, brand dependent)
33 Large Bananas (121 cal. each)

What she is actually eating during binging we may never know. But what I have concluded is that’s a lot of food.
Her off track eating videos are one of my guilty pleasuresbecause it amazes me and disgust me of how much of a pig she is.

Here is an example of a typical day of eating:

It was around 4.4k calories and she always mentions that these videos are not a binge, but simply over-eating..

What shocks me too is sometimes in these videos, is that she’d be on track only if she just didn’t get take out or eat out. Her meals when she eats out are always over 1k calories and she’d eat out twice a day.. So instead of doing some new fad diet how about cutting out the fast-food/take-out because it’d save her a wad of cash as well as losing a bunch of weight.
 

repentance

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So instead of doing some new fad diet how about cutting out the fast-food/take-out because it’d save her a wad of cash as well as losing a bunch of weight.
She could literally buy all her meals and snacks and still lose weight. There are tons of frozen meals which aren't high calorie and there are many meal delivery businesses whose meals aren't high calorie - and that's without even getting into the pre-prepared meals made specifically for people trying to lose weight.

Amber's problem is that she's a pig who doesn't eat reasonable portions of anything. If you look at big eaters who are a healthy weight, they're normally more active than those who eat average sized meals. Amber does nothing to limit the calories coming in and she does nothing to expend calories.
 

GrinningCat

Just some asshole cat
kiwifarms.net
Alright, this makes it what, number 100,244,235? Can't wait for the usual cycle of her losing 10 elbees, boast about it to everyone, Bingemonster striking, her not showing her weigh ins but assuring us she's losing weight, then admitting to have cheated, giving up on the weight plan, going back to her own "counting calories" bs aaaaaand there goes another 100elbees on our gorl piled up.
 

Impossible Brutality

Stop oppressing me!
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 1503841
not even over 10 sec in and she smacks her lips and does her tongue thrusting
I'm convinced her tongue thrusting and lip smacking is just her version of withdraw from not eating in the last 45 minutes. Gorl needs to fill her abyss.

Also, glancing at the photo and holy fuck that lighting isn't hiding those pitch black circles around her eyes. Now I need her to cosplay as rocket raccoon.
 

EvaBraunsGhost

I was like - whuuuuut???
kiwifarms.net
Ah cool, Optavia MkII

Well what another waste of time (and her gullible loyal supporters hopes) this will be

As we've seen, Albert has been doubling down on Twatter that she absolutely does have 'binge eating disorder' which makes me wonder why she would choose a programme that doesn't deal with eating disorders?

One is tempted to think this could be her 'out' - she wouldn't even have to say she quit or failed, just 'the Noom meanies wouldn't help me cos muh mentals, boohoohoo' and half her dumb viewers likely wouldn't even check for themselves and see the Noom policy

Alternatively, lets give her the benefit of the doubt for a second (hahahaha I know, I know, not my style) and say she is going into this truly, honestly hoping it will help her -

How the hell does she think any 'coach' can help her when she's lied from the start (if she chooses not to tell Noom she 'has' BED)?

It seems pretty explicit to me...they CLEARLY state that;

Although the program is rooted in a variety of psychological tools, it's not a comprehensive, individualized treatment, nor is it intended to replace any type of mental health or medical treatment. We recommend reaching out to your primary care physician or other treatment provider to determine the best individualized program to meet your needs.

Tl:dr Amber is a fucking moron who will never learn, but then we knew that years ago...

Screenshot_20200808-031035~2.png
 

Gorlax

Let’s go fill the internet with crime, come on!
kiwifarms.net
Whatever reason she quits for, it’s gonna be because EVERYONE told her to quit. “I told my mom that the app didn’t specifically recommend me to exercise and she was like whuuuut? and my mom and I are ruhlly close so like, I just had to take her advice.”
I’m also seeing in my crystal ball that she’s going to blame becky for her failure somehow. Ahhh, patternlynn.
 

mindlessobserver

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Her off track eating videos are one of my guilty pleasuresbecause it amazes me and disgust me of how much of a pig she is.

Here is an example of a typical day of eating:

It was around 4.4k calories and she always mentions that these videos are not a binge, but simply over-eating..

What shocks me too is sometimes in these videos, is that she’d be on track only if she just didn’t get take out or eat out. Her meals when she eats out are always over 1k calories and she’d eat out twice a day.. So instead of doing some new fad diet how about cutting out the fast-food/take-out because it’d save her a wad of cash as well as losing a bunch of weight.
I get annoyed with myself when I get over 4,000 calories in a DAY, counting all three meals.i usually try and keep it under 3,000. I cant imagine eating 4400 calories in a single sitting.
 

Bees

No Mods No Masters
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I get annoyed with myself when I get over 4,000 calories in a DAY, counting all three meals.i usually try and keep it under 3,000. I cant imagine eating 4400 calories in a single sitting.
no1curr

Noom posts an article you have to read every day and assigns you to a little group of chubby people you are supposed to interact with like a mini facebook. The coach looks at your food logs and sends you questions periodically.
 

fvckm3

have you taken your b12?
kiwifarms.net
Ah cool, Optavia MkII

Well what another waste of time (and her gullible loyal supporters hopes) this will be

As we've seen, Albert has been doubling down on Twatter that she absolutely does have 'binge eating disorder' which makes me wonder why she would choose a programme that doesn't deal with eating disorders?

One is tempted to think this could be her 'out' - she wouldn't even have to say she quit or failed, just 'the Noom meanies wouldn't help me cos muh mentals, boohoohoo' and half her dumb viewers likely wouldn't even check for themselves and see the Noom policy

Alternatively, lets give her the benefit of the doubt for a second (hahahaha I know, I know, not my style) and say she is going into this truly, honestly hoping it will help her -

How the hell does she think any 'coach' can help her when she's lied from the start (if she chooses not to tell Noom she 'has' BED)?

It seems pretty explicit to me...they CLEARLY state that;

Although the program is rooted in a variety of psychological tools, it's not a comprehensive, individualized treatment, nor is it intended to replace any type of mental health or medical treatment. We recommend reaching out to your primary care physician or other treatment provider to determine the best individualized program to meet your needs.

Tl:dr Amber is a fucking moron who will never learn, but then we knew that years ago...

View attachment 1504205
lol - i made this for you
amber & noom.jpg
 
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