My plea to be unbanned from Kiwi Farms

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Perspicacity

Some E-Celeb Alt
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 21, 2019
Who?

Oh it's the unironic DSP fan that gives him money even though he doesn't watch him live and gives Ralph money to fuel his alcoholism... well if he's not here he might join a gang or something, which actually might help him build social skills honestly.
Wait a second.... an unironic DSP fan? Also a paypig for Ralph? Was also a paypig for JF? Well DSP has like 50-75 true fans on the planet. I knew he was a Ralph paypig which is a soon to be extinct species..... And he calls JF papa and likely still paypigs for him too..... I mean someone like that has to be 1 in 1000000. We have a very rare breed of autism that may not survive for much longer, depending on the age of his parents.... Should we really let such a rare specimen go? I didn't realize how exceptional he actually was, I mean on a curve his posts actually weren't that bad looking at the data you've all provided.
 
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Fish-Eyed Fool

I'll point my finger at your nose
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 15, 2019
:story:

I fucking knew Colonel J would get his ass banned sooner or later. I love that he wrote this though, included "The Sheriff" in his signature line, and unironically imagined he wouldn't just get laughed at. But he never could dial back the tard and stop shitting up threads for too long, which is why he gets thrown out of forum after forum.

And you can almost predict his response. I'll bet he writes back to Null complaining about how this is censorship and we all just couldn't handle his big-brained takes. "wat about muh free speech, Nool!"
 
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000%

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 5, 2019
I'll miss the retard. His autism was entertaining in small doses and it was fun watching the mental gymnastics he would go through to defend his substitute father figures. That and it always astounded me how dense someone could be.

On the other hand, his choice in anime girls is fucking bad, so not seeing that is a plus.
 

Jaimas

darkestse.cx
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Jun 27, 2014
Colonel J had some of the most fucking embarassing cringe behavior seen in basically every thread he entered. When he wasn't dick-riding Zoom or shitting up the Weeb Wars subforum, he was doing Kengle-tier faggotry in streams or dragging Internet Famous shit to other subforums.

The fact he did this does show significant unintentional comedy potential though. Kind of reminds me of Solidmario arguing with himself for four pages.
 

Nobleberry

"Ron Toye rapes babies." -Judge Chupp
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Mar 23, 2019
Well, I'm still pretty new here and getting my baby kiwi legs working so, just spitballing...

Can he be unbanned for a day or two and then arbitrarily banned again for laughs? Maybe this process could be repeated several times?
 

AnOminous

Only the rarest and smuggest of Goodmans
Retired Staff
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 28, 2014
Well, I'm still pretty new here and getting my baby kiwi legs working so, just spitballing...

Can he be unbanned for a day or two and then arbitrarily banned again for laughs? Maybe this process could be repeated several times?

Null should make him suck his dick and then not unban him.
 

Least Concern

Pretend I have a Cryptoland pfp like everyone else
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Sep 23, 2018
I think this dude was trying very hard to get using "they" as a pronoun even when you knew someone's gender a thing. Like if he kept doing it himself, it would eventually catch on and spread to others. Made his posts hard to read sometimes. (Not that I'm not trying to do the same thing with "yang.")

Other than that, he was pretty much a normal everyday sped on the Internet.
 

Slartibartfast

Discordian Archivist
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Apr 12, 2019
I've not been a member long, but I've lurked for a while, and my read on him was always that he was an incompetent troll. He seemed to swing wildly from intentionally vague to exceptionally dense in his posts, while seemingly taking the contrary opinions of other members with rarely any argument to explain it. I also found his use of "they" deeply annoying, on a personal level, but I got the impression this was done to rile people up (explaining why he never answered when asked why he did it).

If his ban is up for debate, I've got no horse in that race; nothing of value is lost in his ban, but nothing of value is gained either. He is an occasional conversational irritant, but has potential to earn his own thread simply in how he behaves about and around the site. Given the right cultivation, he could be the next Bryan Dunn.
 

Disrespected Pronouns

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Aug 7, 2017
Outside of the "they" shit and the ice cold takes, Colonel J is doubly pathetic because the majority of his time here centered around him deeply deeply caring about the shitty ass Ralph Retort forums. He first came here to complain that the his posts were being edited over there, treating KF like it was tech support. Then when the forum got deleted and he though Ralph did it, he started going hard on him and became the number one signal booster for Ralph's chief alog Dispatch. Then when he found out that it was Null who pulled the plug he immediately did an about face and started trying to show how Rlaph was 100% cool and how we just couldn't "take an L." Most of the constant shitting up of threads and talking shit about this place is because he's mad about a throw away backup forum with a dozen people on it.
 

Lord Akira

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 27, 2019
Only unban him if there's enough content to make a thread on him. If he turns out to have a funny backstory, make a thread and then unban him to shriek into the void.

Otherwise, fuck'em. He was painfully unfunny and added nothing of value to discussions.
He's already been doxed on here and by the cowboys multiple times. He's not really interesting, just an effeminate-looking sped that's into far-right politics (He voted for Patrick Little supposedly and probably why he clings to JF's nuts) and ardently defends his paypig masters with very cold and retarded takes.
 
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