my weight loss plans 2019 - 01/08/19 -

[pecansandies]

Islamic Content in this video:

• fresh air and sunlight is new and exciting
• "my body is craving the sun"
• another nutritionally bankrupt salad. Iceberg lettuce, cheese, and more diet crap
• doesn't know what to do during the day since she's been sleeping during normal hours
• Becky does her best impression of a beached whale on the driveway
• "we're fossil gonolossils"
• A+B
• singing
• back to warmmort for overpriced scented candles
• Twinkie has a nervous breakdown after being bathed
• more Becky anime crayola tiddies
• "would you rather have a dead mice sandwich....OR a bunch of mice alive sleeping with you" (Becky unsurprisingly chooses the food option)
• AL may have a cat allergy. This cuts her future romantic prospects, significantly
• ASMR with glass straws feat. chunky stained hands
• got a weightloss book - had another one like it before. Clearly it worked the first time
• omg someone PLEASE make a gif of her making those slurping sounds with her mouth I was so disgusted lmao at the 9:13 mark!
• keeping her weightloss plans "super simple" and going at it in phases
• phase 1: 2000 calories/day. moving more. stop sitting in bed all day. drink lots of water. stay positive. "don't give up!". trust the process

SO BASICALLY we are now in the redemption part of AL's cycle. Part of me is wondering if this might actually work because she's kind of not making a big deal out of it? But considering how clear her pattern of behaviour is, here is what will most likely happen next:

1. 1-2 more videos showing what she ate, getting her steps in/going outside, drinking water, etc
2. possibly a weigh-in video showing she lost 1-2lbs (but this might not happen because she lied about her initial starting weight)
3. 2-3 videos of her just doing whatever, running errands, no mention of her weight loss/eating at all
4. INDIGNANT MUKBANG
5. Torrid Haul
6. INDIGNANT MUKBANG
7. another vlog with no mention of her weight loss plans
8. 1-3 crying, "emotional", "raw" videos about her weight, wanting sympathy, new highest weight, baw my depression, baw my binge-eating, baw the haydurs made me do it
9. repeat #3-#7
10. Start at #1
11. repeat

 

[fat]

"My body is like... craving the sun. I do spend a lot of time indoors."

No shit?

 

[Rebel Scum]

She is putting some level of effort into this video I guess? For her standards at least...she went outside you guys. Although, I almost died when she held up the “link down below” scrap of notebook paper.

 

[Mesh Gear Fox]

Now she's doing weight loss in phases

Phase One : 2000 calories a day, move more ("Get up! And stop sitting in bed all day"), and drink water. Stay positive.
Phase Two : "We ain't even worryin' about that now!"

So, this will last 2 or 3 days and then we'll never hear about it again.

 

[C3PBRO]

• Hacked up hamhock
• Screechy laughing at some unfunny bullshit
• Walmart
• Candles/incense
• Coloring
• Weight loss sperging/new weight loss plan
• Journals
• Complaining about ailments
• Complaining about lighting
• A disgusting concoction (this one is made of pale, sad-looking lettuce)
• Visible weight gain on Becky and Twinkie Storr
  
• Shitty ASMR
• Money wasted on useless tat that we'll never see again

This video is still boring, despite hitting all the AL-bingo classics.

 

[Dr. Samuel Hayden]

Video begins with her acting like nice weather is the best thing she's ever experienced. Probably because she's getting ready to never go outside again when she's bedbound.

She's gonna wait in the car during Becky's appointment. What a shock. Why, you ask? ...Well she says "Because I am hooked, you guys!" She means some show named Catfish on Amazon. She's watching it on her phone because one of her followers said she's in an episode. Amberlynn truly is among celebrities, y'all!

Becky and AL wanted to eat out, but AL said Becky needs to help her "stick to her guns" so she made some chicken salad instead. Yeah, sure, because I'm sure Becky is the one finding any excuses to drive three times a day in the middle of the night to eat out and drag you along.

AL is bored, wants to go to a movie and Becky doesn't. "That sucks." AL gets bored because her sleeping schedule is so much better and she admits she doesn't know what to do with the whole day.

Becky lies on the porch pavement to enjoy the weather. Eric lets out his puppers to take a walk in the yard and enjoy the weather. Naturally, Twinkie is not among them, and left inside to fester in unwashed blankets while her friends get to enjoy the fresh air.

OH BOY THEY'RE GOING TO WALMART. AL talks about some candles with an ellipse shape and she says they're so amazeen. They smell so good she "wants to eat" the black cherry one. Pull at the reigns, Becky, she's goin' in for a snack!

Back at home, Becky immediately asked "are you filming?" as she's coloring something. AL says it's Q&A time with her. Becky looks less than thrilled and mumbles "Oh god, I'm not prepared." Doesn't matter anyway because AL asks if she's okay with being on vlogs and Becky says yeah, she just wishes she looked better since she just woke up. I had to turn up the volume while Becky slurs about the chores she's doing today.

Bought glass straws and cedar incense. Also a book called "100 Days of Weight Loss", a journal where you log each day or something. AKA another empty book AL will never write in.

Weight loss plan this time: Sthuper Sthimple. 2000 calories a day that she claims she will log on her fitness pal. Moving more. Drinkeen lots of water. Keeping her mind positive, and reminding herself not to give up.

 

[HomeAloneTwo]

New

• Hacked up hamhock
• Screechy laughing at some unfunny bullshit
• Walmart
• Candles/incense
• Coloring
• Weight loss sperging/new weight loss plan
• Journals
• Complaining about ailments
• Complaining about lighting
• A disgusting concoction (this one is made of pale, sad-looking lettuce)
• Visible weight gain on Becky and Twinkie Storr
  
• Shitty ASMR
• Money wasted on useless tat that we'll never see again

This video is still boring, despite hitting all the AL-bingo classics.

not only does she live this boring life, she gets to watch all of that night when she edits her trash.

 

[Failed the Corn Maze]

Spoiler: Unfortunate mouth movements

 

[Turd Blossom]

The new fancy graphics have already gone out the window in favor of torn out notebook pages. While I'll miss those, bless Amber for giving us some great photoshop fodder.

But she's keeping it simple, guys: 2,000 calories a day, more water, journaling, and a positive attitude!

She didn't reveal what "Phase 2" is, but I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that it's going to include a 2000 step a day plan waking up Becky in the middle of the night for a few fast food runs, a high calorie mukbang, a crying video, and then a switch to Weight Watchers.

ETA: The one new and remarkably positive development is that Becky has started taking Twinkie for walks. This is a New Year's resolution I can get behind. Good for you, Becky!

 

[Francis Dollarhyde]

"I love catfish so much... favorite show."

Is that how you reel in your narc marks Al?

 

[a dinosaur]

 

[Francis Dollarhyde]

4:50 she has her beetus knuckles back to black. And she of course talks about eating the ones with the good scent.
More beetusknuckles at the end. She forgot her foundation.

On the bright side, her wattle is growing big and gelatinous.

 

[Gordon Cole]

Now she's doing weight loss in phases

Phase One : 2000 calories a day, move more ("Get up! And stop sitting in bed all day"), and drink water. Stay positive.
Phase Two : "We ain't even worryin' about that now!"

So, this will last 2 or 3 days and then we'll never hear about it again.

Phase One: "Git Hellthee."
Phase Two: ???
Phase Three: Orange Chicken

 

[CindyChafe]

Come now wasn’t the paper thing a dig at Chantal? Someone tell Chantal that and we will get another cow crossover.

Edit: spelling

 

[HamFan]

When she opened the amazon package she "totally forgot about," I was really hoping it would be a collapsible cleaning stick or some other embarrassing item. But, no, it was a diet journal! How convenient, she was just gonna talk about that!

Hard to take her phases idea seriously when she doesn't have a timeframe for the phases or any specific milestones to reach.

 

[BerriesArnold]

Thank you @Turd Blossom for the screencap. We did a similar thing on Chantal's thread the other day when she foolishly held up a piece of paper, inspired by @Man vs persistent rat . Here's a blank template for anyone looking to shit post:

 

[YourMommasBackstory]

it's always a mistake to have photos with paper sheets in internet


edit: oh fuck i was late

 

[thejackal]

MORE? That suggests there was weight loss.

Also, nice crack pipes.

 

[Lesbian Sleepover]

This vid has a "I'm really trying here " vibe to it .

 

[666EVE666]

Dry, cracking skin on her wrist, greasy hair, eye area looks dry and irritated, leftover sleep or eyelash mites in her lashes, eyebrow hairs basically non-existent they are so spread out... the epitome and big n healfy y'all