Kiwi Farms
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Sister services, email, and search will continue to be negatively effected by the attacks. I made a thread to talk about it, if you're into networking.
The other day I was alerted to the existence of a truly surreal individual. And while he's been mentioned on the site a few times, shockingly no proper thread had been written. So with the help of @glossdrop I took it upon myself to compile information.
Let me introduce you to Nathen Mazri, real name Ayman El-Masri, Born in Dubai in 1992, Nathen studied marketing at Concordia University in Quebec before immediately returning to Dubai for work in 2008 where he quickly found positions as either a marketing director or a board member for various businesses. In 2011 he founded the Marketing firm A3 Communications which he allegedly sold in 2013.
While it's just a footnote in the greater picture, A3 is where we see the first issue with Nathen. You see, a quick google search will bring up a company called A3 Communications that is headquartered in Colombia, South Carolina. That is not the same A3, that's a legitimate company. Nathen's A3 communications was in Dubai, and as far as I can tell, no paper trail of it exists outside of Nathen approved resources save for one bare bones LinkedIn page that has a dead link to a potential website.
This page has no posts, no employees, and only 25 followers yet Nathen wants us to believe that this was a highly successful company that he sold within a few years as he proudly states in his LinkedIn bio:
"He finally sold his ad agency A3 Communications with blue chip accounts with ad spendings of $10million yearly at age 24 years old to a prominent young Saudi entrepreneur part of a renowned family known for drilling water in the 1950s."
Nathen would then attempt to be pass on his "business expertise" by publishing the confusingly titled "Arabiolosis" in February 2016.
Surreal Back of Book Description
The book was published by Author House. If you're not familiar with this excellent company, I don't blame you. They're a self publishing firm that works with a "print on demand" business model. Translation? They print vanity books for people who want to pretend that they're interesting enough to have their own book. In fact, despite it being available on both Barnes & Noble and Amazon, even reviews of this book are hard to come by.
It's available on kindle, but I both don't know how to remove that DRM, and I don't want to give him $10. If someone here would like to bite that bullet to see if there's anything exceptional inside, let me know.
So now we have a Dubai marketing firm of questionable existence and a self published vanity book. But that can't be all that makes this guy interesting right? Of course not! Buckle up, because this was just the preface.
Nathen's true call to fame came in 2017 when he opened Garfield Eats. What is Garfield Eats? Why it's truly a brilliant business concept.
Nathen spent who knows how much money to secure the rights to use Garfield, the most relevant comicbook character ever, as the branding for a Uber Eats based fast food restaurant, exclusively in Dubai and Canada. Two regions famous for being the epicenter of the Garfield fandom.
"But wait!" you say, that restaurant's name isn't Garfield Eats, it's "Love Me, Feed Me, Don't Leave Me." Sorry to burst your bubble, but that tacky, nonsensical comic sans sentence that takes up nearly the entire building face is not the name. It's the tagline! Notice that tiny emblem to the left? Yeah, that's the logo. Why he'd make a novelty restaurant's logo the smallest thing on the building is anyone's guess. But just look at that food! They serve a Garfield shaped pizza!
What the pizza actually looks like
Yum! Totally not deformed pizza. That bit to the left that looks like a rat gnawed on the crust really sells it.
If that didn't horrify you, this jingle certainly will. Listen at your own risk!
We've even got a bizarre 18 minute documentary to understand why Nathen is a genius and why Garfield Eats is the greatest concept of all time. Oddly though, this documentary features a different, but equally terrible jingle.
With all this hype, surely the restaurant is great, right? RIGHT????
Speaking of the food though, let's take a look at the menu.
As you see, fairly basic. Pizza, spaghetti, salad, and lasagna. Basic Italian restaurant stuff, but to be fair you can't have a Garfield themed eatery without lasagna. Speaking of that Lasagna though
[HEADER]Frozen Lasagna Saga[/HEADER]
Another aspect of the "business model" is selling frozen lasagna directly to consumers in Ontario, and only in Ontario. As you can see here these sell for $17 CAD, roughly $14 USD. A brave soul on twitter ordered this lasagna and the results were utterly terrifying.
Cringe TikTok dance to Garfield Eats Theme
So Garfield Eats, the "Entergaging" restaurant idea, was an utter failure. Who would have guessed? But don't worry, as hinted in this bizarre 50 questions video, Nathen has a new business idea.
Ignoring the fact that he's super cringe and trying to seem cool in this video, he mentions a few important things in this video. First is his new company egeez which he glosses over because there's truly nothing to say about it, the others are his father and Scooby-Doo. Let's ignore his father for a moment and look at his new business: Scooby-Doo Eats.
Once again located exclusively in Canada, Scooby-Doo Eats is not a restaurant. This time it's strictly a frozen food brand intended for super markets and online orders. Nathen announced this via a nearly 35 minute long video that's just as baffling as the Garfield one. Seriously, it gets weirder and weirder as it goes on.
Scooby-Doo Eats features three "delicious" items. $15 for 4 frozen Hamburgers, $10 for 6 frozen hot dogs, and a currently out of stock frozen lasagna...wait a minute, lasagna? For Scoobyy-Doo? Gee, it almost looks like he just repackaged the failed left over Garfield lasagna. That wouldn't be the case, right?
Now with Scooby-Doo eats being so fresh, we don't have a ton of info on the business itself yet, but Nathen's behavior on social media related to it has been a source of exceptional content.
First is his Supermarket Rant that comes across as a school shooter tier manifesto
These rants are echoed in tweets he's made
Speaking of social media, guess who's both a covid denier and a Arab Nationalist
[HEADER]Arabic TikTok Ranting[/HEADER]
An interesting aspect of Nathen is his self described "explicit" TikTok account where he shouts in Arabic. Now I don't speak Arabic, but I do happen to have a friend in Kuwait who was able to translate two of his clips.
First was this one where someone asked why he's pretending to be Canadian:
My friend described his accent as "unusually hard to understand" and said "It's easy to think he's spouting nonsense" but explained this rant sounding something like:
"You son of a bitch, are you a jealous you dollar lover? Canada is also my home so don't be jealous. I'll put you on a donkey and take you to Palestine"
Next up is this one:
This was roughly translated as
" Arab leaders fuck you, you sons of bitches! You think god will be pleased with you sitting in that chair doing noting? Take this middle finger and go do something! Fuck you bitch!"
Again, this is the man behind the Garfield restaurant and the Scooby-Doo frozen food brand. Both of these were uploaded in May of 2021 by the way. There were not old videos.
Now that we have covered Nathen's businesses and behavior online, we need to briefly go over the real source of his money. Surprisingly, he is not a major success. But his father his.
Meet Hayssam El Masri, a senior executive at a Dubai based Investment Banking firm.
Besides managing billion dollar construction projects and businesses, Hayassam also runs a capital firm that manages Canadian food and beverage companies in the gulf states. You read that right, almost all of Nathen's connections and business plans were only made possible because of his billionaire father. In fact, a quick glance at Nathen's LinkedIn shows a bunch of short lived "executive" and "board member" positions and empty reviews from places all connected to his father. It's almost as if his entire life is a sham his father purchased.
Which brings this OP to a conclusion. Nathen is a lot of things. A failed author. A failed actor. A failed business man. A tiktok schitzo. A twitter mad man. A instagram nutjob, an attention whore, and more importantly, an moron who was literally born into Arab fortune and couldn't come up with a better business scheme than a Garfield themed restaurant.
Youtube
Instagram
Twitter
LinkedIn
Tiktok
Cameo
IMDB
While it's just a footnote in the greater picture, A3 is where we see the first issue with Nathen. You see, a quick google search will bring up a company called A3 Communications that is headquartered in Colombia, South Carolina. That is not the same A3, that's a legitimate company. Nathen's A3 communications was in Dubai, and as far as I can tell, no paper trail of it exists outside of Nathen approved resources save for one bare bones LinkedIn page that has a dead link to a potential website.
This page has no posts, no employees, and only 25 followers yet Nathen wants us to believe that this was a highly successful company that he sold within a few years as he proudly states in his LinkedIn bio:
"He finally sold his ad agency A3 Communications with blue chip accounts with ad spendings of $10million yearly at age 24 years old to a prominent young Saudi entrepreneur part of a renowned family known for drilling water in the 1950s."
Nathen would then attempt to be pass on his "business expertise" by publishing the confusingly titled "Arabiolosis" in February 2016.
The book was published by Author House. If you're not familiar with this excellent company, I don't blame you. They're a self publishing firm that works with a "print on demand" business model. Translation? They print vanity books for people who want to pretend that they're interesting enough to have their own book. In fact, despite it being available on both Barnes & Noble and Amazon, even reviews of this book are hard to come by.
Reviews on Goodreads said:
It's available on kindle, but I both don't know how to remove that DRM, and I don't want to give him $10. If someone here would like to bite that bullet to see if there's anything exceptional inside, let me know.
So now we have a Dubai marketing firm of questionable existence and a self published vanity book. But that can't be all that makes this guy interesting right? Of course not! Buckle up, because this was just the preface.
Nathen's true call to fame came in 2017 when he opened Garfield Eats. What is Garfield Eats? Why it's truly a brilliant business concept.
Nathen spent who knows how much money to secure the rights to use Garfield, the most relevant comicbook character ever, as the branding for a Uber Eats based fast food restaurant, exclusively in Dubai and Canada. Two regions famous for being the epicenter of the Garfield fandom.
"But wait!" you say, that restaurant's name isn't Garfield Eats, it's "Love Me, Feed Me, Don't Leave Me." Sorry to burst your bubble, but that tacky, nonsensical comic sans sentence that takes up nearly the entire building face is not the name. It's the tagline! Notice that tiny emblem to the left? Yeah, that's the logo. Why he'd make a novelty restaurant's logo the smallest thing on the building is anyone's guess. But just look at that food! They serve a Garfield shaped pizza!
What the pizza actually looks like
Yum! Totally not deformed pizza. That bit to the left that looks like a rat gnawed on the crust really sells it.
If that didn't horrify you, this jingle certainly will. Listen at your own risk!
We've even got a bizarre 18 minute documentary to understand why Nathen is a genius and why Garfield Eats is the greatest concept of all time. Oddly though, this documentary features a different, but equally terrible jingle.
With all this hype, surely the restaurant is great, right? RIGHT????
Yelp Reviews said:
Speaking of the food though, let's take a look at the menu.
As you see, fairly basic. Pizza, spaghetti, salad, and lasagna. Basic Italian restaurant stuff, but to be fair you can't have a Garfield themed eatery without lasagna. Speaking of that Lasagna though
[HEADER]Frozen Lasagna Saga[/HEADER]
Cringe TikTok dance to Garfield Eats Theme
So Garfield Eats, the "Entergaging" restaurant idea, was an utter failure. Who would have guessed? But don't worry, as hinted in this bizarre 50 questions video, Nathen has a new business idea.
Ignoring the fact that he's super cringe and trying to seem cool in this video, he mentions a few important things in this video. First is his new company egeez which he glosses over because there's truly nothing to say about it, the others are his father and Scooby-Doo. Let's ignore his father for a moment and look at his new business: Scooby-Doo Eats.
Scooby-Doo Eats features three "delicious" items. $15 for 4 frozen Hamburgers, $10 for 6 frozen hot dogs, and a currently out of stock frozen lasagna...wait a minute, lasagna? For Scoobyy-Doo? Gee, it almost looks like he just repackaged the failed left over Garfield lasagna. That wouldn't be the case, right?
Now with Scooby-Doo eats being so fresh, we don't have a ton of info on the business itself yet, but Nathen's behavior on social media related to it has been a source of exceptional content.
First is his Supermarket Rant that comes across as a school shooter tier manifesto
These rants are echoed in tweets he's made
Speaking of social media, guess who's both a covid denier and a Arab Nationalist
[HEADER]Arabic TikTok Ranting[/HEADER]
An interesting aspect of Nathen is his self described "explicit" TikTok account where he shouts in Arabic. Now I don't speak Arabic, but I do happen to have a friend in Kuwait who was able to translate two of his clips.
First was this one where someone asked why he's pretending to be Canadian:
My friend described his accent as "unusually hard to understand" and said "It's easy to think he's spouting nonsense" but explained this rant sounding something like:
"You son of a bitch, are you a jealous you dollar lover? Canada is also my home so don't be jealous. I'll put you on a donkey and take you to Palestine"
Next up is this one:
This was roughly translated as
" Arab leaders fuck you, you sons of bitches! You think god will be pleased with you sitting in that chair doing noting? Take this middle finger and go do something! Fuck you bitch!"
Again, this is the man behind the Garfield restaurant and the Scooby-Doo frozen food brand. Both of these were uploaded in May of 2021 by the way. There were not old videos.
Now that we have covered Nathen's businesses and behavior online, we need to briefly go over the real source of his money. Surprisingly, he is not a major success. But his father his.
Meet Hayssam El Masri, a senior executive at a Dubai based Investment Banking firm.
Besides managing billion dollar construction projects and businesses, Hayassam also runs a capital firm that manages Canadian food and beverage companies in the gulf states. You read that right, almost all of Nathen's connections and business plans were only made possible because of his billionaire father. In fact, a quick glance at Nathen's LinkedIn shows a bunch of short lived "executive" and "board member" positions and empty reviews from places all connected to his father. It's almost as if his entire life is a sham his father purchased.
Which brings this OP to a conclusion. Nathen is a lot of things. A failed author. A failed actor. A failed business man. A tiktok schitzo. A twitter mad man. A instagram nutjob, an attention whore, and more importantly, an moron who was literally born into Arab fortune and couldn't come up with a better business scheme than a Garfield themed restaurant.
Youtube
Tiktok
Cameo
IMDB