Your crime is Autism.
Your sentence is Death.
I've never met such an aggressive fuck-up. Someone who's so proud of being a fuck-up that they insist on making sure you are aware that they are a fuck-up. Someone who makes absolutely no effort what so ever to give themselves plausible deniability of being a fuck-up. I'm going to try and dole out this story in a way to help you understand how I found out this person was a thing. If reading a lot of bullshit isn't your fancy, just watch the dumpy autist sing "rub a dub" and call it a day.
So, uh, meet Mix Master Ketchup. Just watch it.
The videos are in MKV format, which some browsers can't play. Download links will be provided below them.
https://video.lolcow.wiki/SpergMagnet/Ketchup/Rub a Dub [SHORTER MUSIC VIDEO]-1vdJvESQt5w.mkv
The fat dumpy Mario looking dude is Mix Master Ketchup / Neal. If you can't figure out what the song is about, I can't blame you, because it's pretty shit. It's about a lolcow: Jonathan Ross. Ross had a bit of a gaff in admitting he casually looked up pictures of naked children taking baths (things parents would post on their Facebooks). His pedophilia became a big topic with Jim / Metokur and Ross blew up into a big autistic nuclear bomb with full death threats.
That thread is here:
So why's this guy doing these videos? Well, uh... he "found" Ross. He's very proud of the fact he "found" Ross and started the big drama with Jim. Very proud.
Yes, that is indeed someone bragging on their Twitter bio that they made a thread. When I saw this I had no clue of who the account holder was. I assumed it was just some sperg who was trying to get some personal popularity off their content, which is a bit gay but I'm not about to tell people "don't contribute to the site".
I only knew them because King of /pol/ (@FedoraManManMan) was a friend of his and had used dox they posted to call the police on the pedophile lolcow the rub-a-dub song is about. I advised not to do this because it was probably bad dox. KoP had a bit of a spat with me over this, but apparently Metokur himself reached out to KoP and told him to "lol calm down" and that I was probably right about the dox being bad. The person who apparently did not get the "lol calm down" memo was KoP's friend, Neal -- Mix Master Ketchup.
So Neal was not happy about two things. One, I told people his dox was bad because it was bad. Two, that people in the KF thread were not letting him post about this guy called PAK. So what did Neal do? He used his small following he had accrued from being the Internet famous Jonathan Ross KF thread starter to do a livestream about us.
https://video.lolcow.wiki/SpergMagnet/Message to Kiwifarms and PUK015 defenders-ya82VyAUCAs.mkv
This is a long, autistic livestream. Luckily, I wrote a footnotes version.
hahahaa omfg at 9:00 he's mad people on the forum are bullying him for being a noisy autistic because he "motherfuckin' built this house" (in reference to making this thread). Literally autistic, literally trying to act hard because he made a thread.
@ 11:00+ he starts saying that he's "heard rumors" we're going to halal him so he double-dog dares us to and then justifies being a loud noisy tard because it's "going to happen anyways". this dude might be genuine.
@ 16:00 he's huffing and puffing and sounds like he's genuinely on the verge of tears over his dox being fake and then does absolutely nothing to prove the articles are genuine.
"Null, if you're watching this (I'm pretty sure he's not but whatever, if he does watch this at some point): you said it was a bad dox. Like, the thing is, his -- fucking cops went to his address, so it couldn't have been that bad. It seemed pretty accurate to me. Motherfucker."
Hey, asshole, you know who told you that cops showed up? His friends. How would they know? How would they see? If someone thought they had my dox and were SWATing the wrong address, you know what I would want my friends to do? To confirm it and misdirect fucking morons like you.
and I'd not have ever seen this if you didn't send it directly to me. You are so desperate for my attention you're literally forwarding hour long cry videos and then expecting to get eaten alive for it anyways, so what's the fucking point? Why not just shut the fuck up?
@ 27:00 someone joins in and asks him immediately "What the fuck are you doing Neil?", and this person is apparently his friend lol. his response is "I'm making a livestream", endquote. Friendo says he's "embarrassing himself" and his response is "I don't care anymore".
Friendo is sane. Friendo is trying to pull this man out of his nosedive.
@ 31:00 friendo begins to explain that KF is not about lynching pedophiles and all he can do is tantrum and stress sigh and say it ain't right. when tard tries asking friendo what the difference is, friendo carefully explains that Metokur can make a joke out of ross but not this PUK person. Tard is mentally incapable of understanding this and thinks it's just about ruining people's lives.
@ 34:00 tard begins comparing himself to Jim and when he says "[my montage video] took a lot of editing", friendo actually busts out laughing.
@ 36:30 friendo EXPLICITLY OUTLINES in very clear terms people are laughing at Ross, not trying to lynch him, and tard is just collapsing under the weight of his brain trying to understand this
@ 42:00, Friendo is trying to get him to explain why he's even livestreaming and his brain is collapsing into a neutron star trying to explain why he's not embarrassed and why he thinks doing a livestream is a good idea.
@ 45:00 omfgggg this convo
Friendo: "Look at you being the victim."
Tard: "And then fucking come in here and like, fucking say you're being off-topic and shit..."
Friendo: "Yes, because you are. I also said you're being embarrassing. Which you are."
Tard: "Well I honestly don't give a shit if I'm being embarrassing. If they wanna fuckin make me look like a [unintelligible] darth vader motherfucker ...."
Friendo: "If that's really what you want to do, you should kick me and continue on being embarrassing."
Tard: "I'm not a fucking SJW is the thing. I'm not like Ross and Ruby."
Friendo: "Mmhmm. I believe you. Don't worry."
Tard: "Well, if I was, I would have banned you from my server a long ass time ago."
Friendo: "Mmhmm. I'm sure you would have banned me, but a normal person wouldn't be throwing an autistic fit about it."
Tard: "Yeah well a normal person doesn't act like a god damn SJW and close out their fucking comment section and fucking server and shit --"
Friendo: "Oh my god, what are you doing? What does that have anything to do with that?"
@ 47:00 is Friendo asking Tard if he's going to continue embarrassing himself and Tard just asks in return if he's going to continue being off-topic and you can actually hear Friendo dying on the inside because Tard just cannot understand how little what he says has to do with "off-topic"ness.
@ 48:00 Tard keeps talking about being off-topic and Friendo finally tells him that no one cares about him being 'off-topic' and Tard just keeps beating the off-topic thing to death and it's making me laugh out loud because I've never seen anyone be this mad at being called off-topic
@ 50:20 "Neal you got so butthurt about Kiwi Farms you're making a livestream about it, you're as bad as the Hole -- I'M NOT AS FUCKING BAD AS THE HOLE!! I'm not as bad as the Hole! Because if I was as bad as the Hole, I'd have disabled ratings and comments" omfggggggggggggggggg
Friendo: "The problem I'm really seeing with your Discord right now, is that now that the Ross well has dried up, you're DESPERATE for the next Ross. Just DESPERATE."
Friendo: "The problem with the actual video you made, isn't that you were making a video on Puck, is that the entire video is just hyperbole on how bad he was."
friendo reg an account i will give you a winner rating ok
Tard: "I'm just tired of this shit. Tired of the fucking --"
Friendo: "You're tired of the Kiwi Farms making fun of you, so you're going to post a stream saying, 'You can't make fun of me'?"
Tard: "YES!!! I've said it 50 fucking times, YES!!!!"
Now you might be wondering, "this is a terribly embarrassing thing, why would a person make this?" That's a good question. A better question would be, "why would someone make a terribly embarrassing livestream (which is mostly one person ridiculing you) and then send it directly to the head of a website that you're paranoid is about to dox you?". I do not have an answer for this.
Yes, this person was so proud of this livestream, that is almost entirely one person warning you to stop and delete the livestream because it's a fucking tragedy, he sent it directly to me. He actually was so proud of this livestream he made sure I saw it.
Now here's the jump. The cross-contamination. The jump from tard to lolcow. How do I connect Mix Master Ketchup to this guy who made the Jonathan Ross thread? Well, he admits it.
And I can't take your exceptional ass seriously with that goddamn anime picture, dude. Seriously, why even share shit like that? It wasn't about ross and it was in the goddamn past, so leave me the fuck alone.
This guy genuinely thought he was going to jumpstart his Internet Famous career with his Kiwi Farms thread on Jonathan Ross and a "diss track" rap about molesting children. He thought he was the next Metokur or some shit.
And guess what? Without even having that sort of influence, just the delusion of having it, he decided to P.A. this "PUK" guy, who apparently said he watched a CNN documentary about a porn star who lied about her age. So there's some porn out there of a 16 year old girl or some shit and PUK has seen it. Mr. Ketchup was going to use that to lynch PUK, under the thought that we were both (a) a personal army in awe of his amazing Jonathan Ross thread, (b) some sort of weird paedofinder general witch hunting cult. Surely, if we want to have a thread on Jonathan Ross, we can have a thread on his weird friend, yea?
Aside from PUK just not being a lolcow and hardly culpable for anything, Ketchup was livid that we did not go after him. He is not mentally able to understand why "literally screaming at my grandmother because of people on the Internet" Ross is funnier to us than "I looked at a naked 16 year old girl on the Internet" PUK. That's why he's been on this little warpath.
Oh, but as it turns out, PUK isn't Ross's friend. PUK is an old friend of Neal.
So this dude completely burned himself out on a crusade against a former friend from his DSP trolling account which later turned into his rap career as Mix Master Ketchup and later into his Internet Famous Jonathan Ross Thread Starter career. Neat.
"Mix Master Ketchup"
1402 W St. Louis St.,
West Frankfort, IL
(You can confirm this address by comparing the Rub a Dub video's street views to the Google Maps street views.)
Another username (probably his first) is Vidon100
https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/User:Vidon100 (banned lol)
https://mrenter.deviantart.com/modals/watchers/?offset=6900 (mr enter, what a suprise)
And what supremely autistic Internet history is complete without hentai comments.
"Holy shit, the infamous "Imari Rape Scene" from Bible Black might be uncensored! "
He likes a Family Guy pic on Hentai Foundry (gross but not explicit):
"Hope we get to see her swallowing a nice load "
Really liking this Tenchi Muyo hentai: "Extremely sexy, you remind me a lot of seto yuuki with your attention to detail and the overall hawtness factor of your hentai.
What i'm trying to say is really nice work mate. "
"Really nice work dude, the nice thick load shot in her mouth really set me over the edge though."
"This shit should really stop being allowed on Hentai Foundry, seriously, it's called HENTAI foundry: not "take our your credit card to see the hentai....foundry"."
More complaining about censored hentai:
i wanna rub a dub