Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

NoReturn

CEO Wash & Smash llc.
kiwifarms.net
How long do you think this addition to our new friend's household will last? Hopefully he has more time than the squished chinchilla.
Aww Jesus. I was under the impression that was a pre-existing lizard. Please don't tell me she ran out and bought a new pet right after her daughter killed the rodent.
Also, where the hell are all the kid things? Again, I can understand respecting her child's privacy, but shouldn't there be like... something indicating a child lives there in the background of that photo?
 

fuzzyrodent85

kiwifarms.net
I was wrong, it was a birthday present for her daughter. Screenshot_20210215-203527.png
Onto the rest:
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I hope this isn't foreshadowing.


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Ironic.

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Witches aren't endangered. Because they aren't real.

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Tfw when you have to spend eternity as a sperg's edgy fursona.
 

EyelessMC

kiwifarms.net
theriocidal
I hate you for making me have to look this up. Great archiving, though.
Patricide: Killing of one's Patriarch (Father)
Matricide: Killing of one's Matriarch (Mother)
Suicide: Killing of one's Self
Infanticide: Killing of Infant

Theriocide: Killing of Animals ????
Okay, that's cheating. I'm not wearing the dunce cap for not being able to figure that one out.
Anyway, she sounds like an absolute delight. Mental problems + single mother + DUDE WEED LMAO + 🎆magic🎆 = Mother of the Year
Almost makes me nostalgic for Angie. At least she seemed like an objectively better mother and wife. Too bad she was a HEARTBREAKER
Rest in power chinbro. F
On a lighter note, it's Angie's birthday! :biggrin:
Good for her I guess. Maybe she can put what's left of my heart into her birthday cake...and probably shove that into a spell jar.
I feel so cold... How will I ever be able to trust another witch again?
View attachment 1918198
Whiteness isn't a modern concept though? Correct me if I'm wrong.
I went back to check my historical resources and yeah they're White. But my absolute favorite here is:
This breaks my brain. It's not even the kind of excuse fujoshi (female anime nerds) use to gloss over their favorite anime hunk being a genuinely disturbing sexual deviant (see: Gilgamesh from Fate/Stay Night). Their excuse is "Yeah we know but he's sexy so shut up."
But here it's not even that. It's, "Don't criticize me simping for my abusive serial rapist deity because I'm an abuse victim."

If any posters ITT are going for a Master's in Psychology use this tumblr for your paper. You cannot possibly get a failing grade.
View attachment 1922090
How come these gods are always speaking in emojis?
The idea behind the emojis seems to be that their imaginary friends are very cozy and personal, but instead of making them seem like friends they always make them seem like a cross between children and puppies. It works for them because of how infantilized they themselves are and, since their gods are like little kids, they'll never be forced to live according to any stringent principals and grow up.
"Ugh! Mom said I shouldn't stuff my face and do nothing with my life! I'm so mad! What do you think?"
"😤"
"That's why I love you, Moloch!"
"😚"

Although I do like that she went the extra mile to make Aphrodite look like a retarded pokemon, all day just screeching "EEERRRR BURDS! BURDS OF PRAY!"
View attachment 1922096
It's better than period blood I guess.
"Breast milk is supernatural in its uses. I was even able to feed my baby with it! It's magic!"
I desperately hope her kids took their IQ points from their dad or else they'll be taking their first steps at 18
Don't gaze upon it! That is the monstrous visage of the elder dark, the black beast which resides amidst the tarry shadows of the collective unconscious! This fool witch seeks to summon the Blackest One himself.... Count Oinkula!
lol I am convinced at least most of these "anons" are Angie giving herself an excuse to vent her real opinions in a safe way on tumblr. You cannot convince me she didn't write "cultural appropriation" is a "shitty bigoted ideology", not after she went in hard on wiccans ITT because of their abuse of Celtic and Welsh stuff.
Oh, she's totally doing this herself. This was her way of making sure Tumblr didn't confused her for someone with an opinion spicier than mayo.
But we all know, Angie. We all know how much you hate the wiccans.
The fragrance of cinnamon sticks trails behind her,
And the green locks serves as a reminder,
Of the joy leaves of towering branches of the oak bring me in times of succor.
She left and it makes me cry,
I can feel my hope slowly die,
When I realize soon might be time to say goodbye.
The finest manchego I will bestow,
If she promises to not let me go,
If, somehow, sweet Angie doesn't leave I will be left positively aglow.
I cry every time. That was great, man, but you gotta let her go. She was last logged in on Jan. 30th, and although there's reason to think she browses the thread now and again (without logging in) we both know she'll never come back.

Now I want to try to make a Lavender Chamomile cake with Hibiscus buttercream.
I bet it would be the most wonderfully smelling cake you'd ever eat, and probably the best smelling you'd ever vomit up, too.
 
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RazorBackBacon

kiwifarms.net
Eat vegetables you stanky hoe! Mix broccoli with hot sauce then put in the air fryer for 15 min at 350 farenheit or make some ceasar salad and a stir fry.
View attachment 1922090
How come these gods are always speaking in emojis?

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Lesbian kiwis, if you met a girl on tinder and then she tells you she's in a sexual relationship with Persephone, what would you do?

View attachment 1922096
It's better than period blood I guess.

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What is that?

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Use the broken glass for sex magick of course!
Aphrodite x Persephone

Please elucidate to me what the biggest thot on Olympus and the loving wife of the King of the Dead would have in common. Or why the two confirmed dick-lovers would want to bump clams.
 

NoReturn

CEO Wash & Smash llc.
kiwifarms.net
I was wrong, it was a birthday present for her daughter.
Capture.PNG

I want off WitchMom's wild ride.
Acting out by killing animals at six years old makes me think there's way more to it than that.
Mental problems + single mother + DUDE WEED LMAO + 🎆magic🎆 = Mother of the Year
I did more digging.
Apparently this witch is Native American™
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But wait, what's this from last year?
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Also, I was COMPLETELY WRONG about the children's privacy thing. If you go back in her account six years she was all about posting about her baby:
12.PNG

I found her abandoned blog from the same time period but it has the daughter's name in it, so I'm not linking directly. She does, however, talk about being a "natural vegan mommy", so we can see how she got down this path from there, I suppose. Back to the witch part, here's a selection from her menagerie:
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She has a fucking pitbull. It's her familiar.
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RazorBackBacon

kiwifarms.net
It's almost as if wasting your time doing witch shit and getting high in order to ignore your kid makes them act out. Acting out by killing animals at six years old makes me think there's way more to it than that.
Killing small animals at six years old? The family pet, even? That's what an FBI profiler might call a 'red-flag.' Better keep an eye on that kid; we may be reading about them in the papers one day.
Being an annoying cunt makes you a witch?
Sure seems that way.
 

EyelessMC

kiwifarms.net
View attachment 1924422
I want off WitchMom's wild ride.
Agreed, and great work yet again. Man, I cannot describe the ever encroaching feeling of consuming hatred I have for this stupid, entitled and evil "witch" to run her home like a pet sanctuary while everything else that's been written is going on, and to top it off she even shoved pics of her kid with her name on the net those years ago. Wonderful. Now she lets her kid starve herself as a cry for help while flirting with guys for free pizza and getting high.
And I haven't forgotten that she's a divorcee, too, which means she gets alimony and child support plus custody despite all this and a suicide threat she gave. Either the man is a truly derilict father or we have yet another example of how the courts are just straight dumb.
Poor kid. Poor puppers. Poor bunny. Poor everyone.
She does, however, talk about being a "natural vegan mommy", so we can see how she got down this path from there, I suppose.
lol Of course she'd start off vegan. I'm not even surprised. Why couldn't she just be a vegitarian at worst and still be relatively normal? Veganism is like a gateway drug to worse and worse brainrot
Untitled.png


Also, ”Indian” is nowhere near as bad a word as ”nigger”. The fact that you won't even say ”nigger” should tell you that it's the worse word.
Nah, the reason "Nigger" can't be said is because Blacks have incredibly thin skin after generations of focusing singularly on their race v. the world, like Jews in a lot of ways. Also "Indian" is a proper term not a slur since the full term is "Native American Indian".
These idiots wouldn't be such sticklers about it if they had to be man-handled by vicious Braves all night before getting scalped in the morning--which was not something they did only to Settler women/men either. That started with that during their genocidal tribal warfare long before pale skins came to the shores.
 

Marshal Mannerheim

Koti, uskonto, ja isänmaa.
kiwifarms.net
Nah, the reason "Nigger" can't be said is because Blacks have incredibly thin skin after generations of focusing singularly on their race v. the world, like Jews in a lot of ways. Also "Indian" is a proper term not a slur since the full term is "Native American Indian".
These idiots wouldn't be such sticklers about it if they had to be man-handled by vicious Braves all night before getting scalped in the morning--which was not something they did only to Settler women/men either. That started with that during their genocidal tribal warfare long before pale skins came to the shores.
My point is that, for whatever reason, ”nigger” is one of the few words you're not supposed to say. ”Indian” doesn't have that connotation and the fact that this witch will say ”Indian” but censor ”the N word” speaks volumes.

As for Indians fighting each other, the image people have of noble savages living in harmony before Hernán Cortés came with firesticks is, in the words of Joe Biden, malarkey.
 

NoReturn

CEO Wash & Smash llc.
kiwifarms.net
Killing small animals at six years old? The family pet, even? That's what an FBI profiler might call a 'red-flag.' Better keep an eye on that kid; we may be reading about them in the papers one day.
The only other big red flags for serial killers are single mothers and soiling themselves after being potty-trained, but luckily-
OH WAIT
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Veganism is like a gateway drug to worse and worse brainrot
4.PNG

They have their own subreddit, but it's not very active: /r/VeganWitches
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1613519149623.png
 

fuzzyrodent85

kiwifarms.net
Screenshot_20210216-075732.pngScreenshot_20210216-075739.png
You barely gave us a chance Angie!

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A spell for Angie to talk to us again:
:heart-full::popcorn:AUGH YEAH:biggrin:
Like to charge
Put cinnamon in a jar to cast

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All of you kiwis owe me $2.

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This explains why the kid annihilated that chinchilla.

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Hopefully being able to breathe fire will save this gecko.

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How come you didn't blog about the art I made you Angie?

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I wish I could hear the ex's side of the story.

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Please keep witches out of your mind.

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If I ever write a whole essay on Tumblr witch drama, treat me like a puppy in a PETA shelter and euthanize.

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I thought they were cum bottles at first.

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This is why people hate vegans.

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Angie stole my heart if that helps.
 

discombobulate

kiwifarms.net
The only other big red flags for serial killers are single mothers and soiling themselves after being potty-trained, but luckily-
OH WAIT
View attachment 1925883
She's overreacting to it. A three year old previously potty trained now shitting themselves is sadly normal. Suddenly there's all this stuff they want to do, they're not used to their little kid body after their growth spurts, and without expecting it they crap themselves. It's annoying, sure, but yelling and swearing at them isn't going to fix it.
 

Nazz

kiwifarms.net
I was wrong, it was a birthday present for her daughter.View attachment 1923683
Onto the rest:
"This isnt the discourse i came here for" ffs
What did you expect? Did you think everyone was just going to say blessed be my good bitch and tell you to smoke some weed and not worry about it? Give like half a shit about your animals for like 2 seconsd dude.
View attachment 1924422
I want off WitchMom's wild ride.


I did more digging.
Apparently this witch is Native American™
View attachment 1924425
But wait, what's this from last year?
View attachment 1924426
Also, I was COMPLETELY WRONG about the children's privacy thing. If you go back in her account six years she was all about posting about her baby:
View attachment 1924428
I found her abandoned blog from the same time period but it has the daughter's name in it, so I'm not linking directly. She does, however, talk about being a "natural vegan mommy", so we can see how she got down this path from there, I suppose. Back to the witch part, here's a selection from her menagerie:
View attachment 1924429
She has a fucking pitbull. It's her familiar.
I wonder if the daughter sees all the rescues as competition for attention. It seems like the mom doesnt give a shit about her anymore, and the dad is out of the picture now so she is likely feeling pretty isolated and on edge, and when children feel like that they'll do anything to get attention. Like, this kid has a mom who is smoking weed and focusing on her witchy vegan animal rescue lifestyle, a dad who won't bother to put a shirt on to talk to her, and hasnt been able to see her friends for a year now. She's six. Obviously she shouldnt be hurting animals but I can't say I dont feel bad for her on some level. Especially since Moms solution is to put shit on TV and "give up" or make her eat until she can't anymore.

The only other big red flags for serial killers are single mothers and soiling themselves after being potty-trained, but luckily-
OH WAIT
View attachment 1925883

View attachment 1925884
They have their own subreddit, but it's not very active: /r/VeganWitches
View attachment 1925886
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Every time she talks about this kid it sounds like she just really wants to live her burning man lesbian polycule goddess worship vegan witch fantasy and forget about her fucking kid.
View attachment 1926127
This explains why the kid annihilated that chinchilla.
I wonder if the realization of that fetish in the dad caused the mom to distance herself from the daughter, either because being around her daughter simply reminds her of it or perhaps something worse going on behind the scenes. Whatever the case I hope vegan swami mommy puts down the blunt and the crystals and talks to her daughter
 

NoReturn

CEO Wash & Smash llc.
kiwifarms.net
You barely gave us a chance Angie!
Tag yourself, I'm raspberry leaf tea.
I'm only there to help you fuck shit up on your period and bleed all over the enemy witches.
I wish I could hear the ex's side of the story.
The "friend" is directly related to her coming out as bi. Calling it now.
Angie stole my heart if that helps.
What did you expect? Did you think everyone was just going to say blessed be my good bitch and tell you to smoke some weed and not worry about it? Give like half a shit about your animals for like 2 seconsd dude.
Read this in Nazz' voice. It did not disappoint.
 

RazorBackBacon

kiwifarms.net
Didnt the greek gods demand animal sacrifice?
Oh boy howdy did they! The Olympians basically count as blood gods for how much sacrifice in living animals they demanded. Even very minor prayers require twisting the head off a pigeon. If it was a big animal, while you were in there your rummaged around for the heart, lungs, liver, stomach and spleen and did a little fortunetelling with those. About the only thing they didn't demand was human sacrifice and even then, well, one version of 'Iphigenia' has her getting burnt alive as an offering to Athena or Artemis or whoever (it's been a while since I read it).
 

EyelessMC

kiwifarms.net
The only other big red flags for serial killers are single mothers and soiling themselves after being potty-trained, but luckily-
OH WAIT
View attachment 1925883
Of the four replies, one of them is an answer to her own reply to it, so really only two people replied, and only one of them said anything about how she needs to find out what's wrong, that her child is regressing and she needs to be more patient as a mother. However, it was the most mildest of deliveries. I saw the reddit's rules and what do you know? A major rule is "Support, Don't Scold". I thought that was parenting advice. Haha! No, it was replying advice. Posters who were perceived to scold OPs were either banned or given warnings and then banned. They outright say "Call it a Hugbox if you want but this place is to help mothers feel better"

Why do I mention that? Because it probably has something to do with no one outright saying that this woman is abusing and/or neglecting her toddler. Also because it might be why the only reply which offered any actual observation--like from a real mother and not some womanchild brat who accidentally farted really hard only to turn around to the kid they accidentally brought into the world and realize they were pregnant all along--has no name. That actually helpful reply is attributed to "deleted". Maybe they left after a good finger wagging from the reddit mods for being too harsh.

Anyway, as for our fair b [w]itch herself...
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I'm gonna say this now because if I don't my blood pressure's gonna make my head explode:
I hope to my bones this "witch" woman--not her daughter or anyone else, just this woman--experiences a particularly inexorable and serious circumstance in which rapid and sudden changes occur for the better of her daughter so she, the daughter, is able to be received into the loving arms of a good parent (who may not be her current biological mother) and goes to therapy to thereafter live a mentally and bodily healthy life.
I hope the particular experience of this "witch" woman--not her daughter, just her--comes swiftly and is of such an imponderable quality that the response from anyone who hears of it, after they learn what we have about her parenting, is nothing short of vivacious.
That is all.

All of this is pure golden! Especially love the last post pretending to be so intellectual until you notice the hammer and sickle avatar. Thanks for this. After that other [w]itch I went to a dark place for a second, a thesaurus.
We should also keep archiving her thread-relevant internet footprints as a witch. She truly is the anti-Angie. Who knows? Our archives might prevent her poor kid from growing up to become a thread on this site in years' time. I deserve a rainbow sticky for this one...

All of you kiwis owe me $2.
I'll get on that after I finish casting my money spell from my spell jar, but first things first: My inspiring affirmations!
I am worthy
I am enough
I am growing
I am not crazy I am not crazy I am not crazy I am...
This explains why the kid annihilated that chinchilla.
lol the way you put. But wait, so the times this woman most thinks of her kid is when the kid kills something, something's wrong with her (craps herself), she starves herself or when someone says something perverted about kids/ageplay. MoTheR oF tHe YeAr

Although I do give my condolences to that OP. All sympathy there. That really is a nightmare scenario and I can't imagine what the next step would be aside from just killing him. Thankfully we've learned in this thread that magic is real and very powerful, so she can just cast a spell!
🪄 "Hex-o Divorce-o!"
How come you didn't blog about the art I made you Angie?
HEARTBREAKER That flower looks rad but I bet they spent more time writing about it than drawing it. Your ham-ham painting is top tier by comparison. She knows it, too. I bet she secretly saved it as a wallpaper for her phone but won't tell her reddit friends about it.

Every time she talks about this kid it sounds like she just really wants to live her burning man lesbian polycule goddess worship vegan witch fantasy and forget about her fucking kid.
I went into a thesaurus and yet I couldn't have said it better myself. This is exactly what that [w]itch is all about.
Also yeah like NoReturn said I keep reading your posts in Nazz's voice and it's fantastic. Never change your avatar please.
 

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