Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

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Flexo

Don't blame me. I voted for HK-47.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
If prayer and spells are one in the same why not just pray to God if you're a Christian instead of casting spells? You already know Jesus isn't okay with witchcraft so why cling to it? And I feel like it should be obvious why he would because I doubt they pray to God as much as they do witchcraft which was probably partially why he's against it.
Also because He's not your little bitch, but the Lord of spirits and all of creation. Yes you can bring your troubles to Him but maybe also show a little respect and realize if the prayer's answer is a no, there's other people and things He has to take into consideration.

Heck, the first temptation of Jesus was turning rocks into bread. If even the Son of the bossman won't do any transmuting or manifestation, that's a pretty strong sign humans shouldn't be doing it.
 

Marshal Mannerheim

Koti, uskonto, ja isänmaa.
kiwifarms.net
The amount of Christfagging in this thread is getting suffocating. It's off-topic and comes across like a bunch of old boomers took over the last 3 pages. We're here to laugh at Internet witches. That's it.
If you don't like seeing Christians on KF, may I suggest a solution?

Simply push the Windows key on your keyboard, click the button that says ”Shut down”, and your screen will be free of those dang, dirty Christfags. Thank Dawkins for technology!
 

NoReturn

CEO Wash & Smash llc.
kiwifarms.net
The amount of Christfagging in this thread is getting suffocating. It's off-topic and comes across like a bunch of old boomers took over the last 3 pages. We're here to laugh at Internet witches. That's it.
I see what you're getting at, but the topic at hand is actually relevant to modern Christianity, and even the division between Protestantism and Catholicism. What we're seeing is a religious shift, not just in the United States, but in the world as a whole thanks to internet-facilitated communication. Speaking personally, I've learned a lot from insights from people like @Marshal Mannerheim especially with regards to how the beliefs and actions people we feature in this thread are at odds with existing dogma.
Going further, I would argue that one of the ongoing themes of this thread is the phenomenon of how our modern "value system" is hyperfocused on one's personal identity and the self as a whole. You could even argue that it's taken the form of a non-spiritual religion where things like "Original sin" have been replaced by inborn privilege; self-cultivation is a parallel to self-expression; etc. but that's getting off-topic.
As @PunchCat put it, internet spiritualists/witches embody the idea of: "I want Norse, but WOKE Norse and hot Loki with Kung Fu grip"
Christianity is a convenient lens through which to explore this phenomenon because it is the best-known religious tradition among English speakers, even among those who may have never practiced it themselves. We've also had a number of people in this thread (e.g. Angie) who have been able to provide insight into their own religious beliefs and provide an informed critique of what we're seeing and mocking in this thread.
That said, if you want us to move on to other topics, get to contribooting.
...
And so I'm not a hypocrite. Here's me contribootin'.
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Two posts, one year apart.
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Fair point, actually.
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It's just little glass bottles.
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That last tag is the one that should tip you off.
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First, it wasn't Apollo, it was Prometheus.
Second, the "source" is Hyginus' "Fabulae" which is a collection of fables, rather than part of a larger oral tradition.
Third, the context is explicitly meant to allude to homosexuals. Not trans people. Modern interpretation tries to separate the two, but to the original author it was a way of explaining being gay.
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Join our political movement or else.
tAgBSSo.jpeg
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"Decorum"
 

Marshal Mannerheim

Koti, uskonto, ja isänmaa.
kiwifarms.net
Speaking personally, I've learned a lot from insights from people like @Marshal Mannerheim especially with regards to how the beliefs and actions people we feature in this thread are at odds with existing dogma.
I'm glad someone apart from me likes reading my Catholic takes. And now, back to the purpose of this thread:
Oppression and ostracism? Would someone like to remind this bitch that witches were feared for a lot of history?

Ironically enough, the reason they were feared is also why they became disliked after the rise of Christianity; it's all very well claiming that you can call lightning down on anyone who crosses you, but the second (to use a historical example) St Boniface comes and chops the Donar's Oak down and you do nothing, you end up looking very silly.
 

fuzzyrodent85

kiwifarms.net
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Angie, the only people who know about you is your tumblr following and us. Neither really give a shit.

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This guy needs to go outside into the real world. 7 paragraphs about a non-existent problem.

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@NoReturn based on your expertise, is this possible?

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If I was a goddess and was worshipped and then one day got called a "girl boss", let's just say that the 97% statistic would no longer be false.

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If I knew someone who made shit like this I would abuse them too.

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Michael's is a good craft store I recommend.

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Lord Viagra is the best demon for this purpose.

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@Marshal Mannerheim do you agree?

Screenshot_20210417-205947.pngScreenshot_20210417-210000.pngScreenshot_20210417-210007.pngScreenshot_20210417-210013.png
Goodbye horses. . .

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It would be cheaper to break up with him.

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The fae also like to kidnap children.

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How come I haven't seen any crystal vaginas yet?

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Yes you do. Like your employers, your parents, your school.

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Go to therapy.


 

NoReturn

CEO Wash & Smash llc.
kiwifarms.net
@NoReturn based on your expertise, is this possible?
Hexes are a stupid concept for stupid people. Just throw a brick through someone's window. Much easier.
If I was a goddess and was worshipped and then one day got called a "girl boss", let's just say that the 97% statistic would no longer be false.
She isn't even a goddess. She was a priestess who gave people Mad Cow disease iirc. Medea, btw, is the embodiment of Null's belief that women tend to only kill their own children.
How come I haven't seen any crystal vaginas yet?
81ZNRqOITML._AC_SL1500_.jpg

Ice-Lady-Crystal-Jelly-Fleshlight11.jpg
I'm sure the gods would love old, stale coffee. Great offering.
Also who TF is Jack?
 

Marshal Mannerheim

Koti, uskonto, ja isänmaa.
kiwifarms.net
Calling Hermes a Jew is retarded because Judaism is a monotheistic religion.

Also, the first thing I think of when I hear ”Armenian” is ”Kim Kardashian”, not ”greedy”. Is there something I'm missing here?
Screenshot_20210417-171332.png
@Marshal Mannerheim do you agree?
It's always nice to see the ”Church” of Satan's Twitter page because they have a talent for saying the quiet part out loud.
 

PunchCat

In a just world, we all have a thread here
kiwifarms.net
The amount of Christfagging in this thread is getting suffocating. It's off-topic and comes across like a bunch of old boomers took over the last 3 pages. We're here to laugh at Internet witches. That's it.
I think @NoReturn almost completely nailed it. The only thing I would add is that the people posting as witches/neo-pagans etc. are also viewing their beliefs through the lens of a largely Christian West, which is what carries these individuals into "The Unaware Lolcow" territory. They aren't worshipping demons as nightmarish creatures which represent the worst aspects of humanity- they are attempting to reform them as misunderstood others with a different view from a stern and grumpy patriarch (To "make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n" if you will). Same with Zeus, Loki, pick a deity and someone is trying to remold them as sympathetic, compassionate gods very similar to the Christian deity, but with a touch of that god's purview (Aphrodite- it's Jesus, but everybody's getting laid!) instead of what they were depicted as by their own people- cold, cruel, cowardly, capricious, and childish (although the emoji thing does make me think they have the childish part down).

If we start getting some individuals from the Norwegian Black Metal scene or some Wolves of Vinland in here, I'll be glad to use pagan talking points as an assumed base.
 

janedoe

kiwifarms.net
i saw some sperging on twitter the other day, just some fagfights between these "witches" over the use of whitesage.
something about burning it to "cleanse" is cultural appropriation or some bullshit because indigenous people
like wow. burning leaves. if we were to actually believe their lunacy, then i don't think "magical forces" or whatever give a shit if white girls are using it to cleanse or not, so why gatekeep a fucking plant?

although i guess mental illness can explain anything when it comes to these people. really
 

Flexo

Don't blame me. I voted for HK-47.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
i saw some sperging on twitter the other day, just some fagfights between these "witches" over the use of whitesage.
something about burning it to "cleanse" is cultural appropriation or some bullshit because indigenous people
like wow. burning leaves. if we were to actually believe their lunacy, then i don't think "magical forces" or whatever give a shit if white girls are using it to cleanse or not, so why gatekeep a fucking plant?

although i guess mental illness can explain anything when it comes to these people. really
Burning incense for cleansing goes back to OT Judaism. It's all over the place in history, nobody has a patent on it.

Between this and moviebob I'm afraid I'm actually losing hard drives to these people.
 

Flexo

Don't blame me. I voted for HK-47.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Can you specify? I just like to hear you talk about this stuff.
Dunno about @NoReturn but it certainly bugged me as turning the Fae into the equivalent of mystical "McDonald's" who just live to serve you. Especially as traditionally they were old school tricksters who never gave you what you wanted. It's just more narcissism. "Oh normally I trick and beguile people and make their lives miserable, but YOU, I'm going to give you everything you ever wanted because you're just so darn awesome and oppressed by society."

It also goes against every tradition and philosophy about the importance of naming and names in old folklore and cultures. There's a reason there's a lot of tales where animals would do things for the protagonist in exchange for a name.
 

Jason Blaha's Hat

No gods, no jannies
kiwifarms.net
View attachment 2098875
Angie, the only people who know about you is your tumblr following and us. Neither really give a shit.

View attachment 2098886View attachment 2098887View attachment 2098889
This guy needs to go outside into the real world. 7 paragraphs about a non-existent problem.

View attachment 2098897
@NoReturn based on your expertise, is this possible?

View attachment 2098903
If I was a goddess and was worshipped and then one day got called a "girl boss", let's just say that the 97% statistic would no longer be false.

View attachment 2098909
If I knew someone who made shit like this I would abuse them too.

View attachment 2098913
Michael's is a good craft store I recommend.

View attachment 2098920
Lord Viagra is the best demon for this purpose.

View attachment 2098925
@Marshal Mannerheim do you agree?

View attachment 2098934View attachment 2098935View attachment 2098937View attachment 2098939
Goodbye horses. . .

View attachment 2098943View attachment 2098945
It would be cheaper to break up with him.

View attachment 2098951
The fae also like to kidnap children.

View attachment 2098952
How come I haven't seen any crystal vaginas yet?

View attachment 2098954
Yes you do. Like your employers, your parents, your school.

View attachment 2098959
Go to therapy.

View attachment 2098961
View attachment 2098962
Why is it that all these girls have “abusive exes”? Seriously, they all claim to have “survived” a “toxic relationship” at some point. Makes me thunk.
 

Flexo

Don't blame me. I voted for HK-47.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Why is it that all these girls have “abusive exes”? Seriously, they all claim to have “survived” a “toxic relationship” at some point. Makes me thunk.
Only click below if you have alcohol handy.

The violence of the jealous man is not always occasioned by his lover's supposed interest in another man, however. On the contrary, it serves a prophylactic function and helps to keep the woman utterly in thrall to him until the day she decides to leave him: for the whole focus of her life is the avoidance of his rage. Avoidance is impossible, however, since it is the very arbitrariness of his violence that keeps her in thrall to him. Thus, when I hear from a female patient that the man with whom she lives has beaten her severely for a trivial reason—for having served roast potatoes when he wanted boiled, for example, or for having failed to dust the top of the television—I know at once that the man is obsessively jealous: for the jealous man wishes to occupy his lover's every thought, and there is no more effective method of achieving this than his arbitrary terrorism. From his point of view, the more arbitrary and completely disproportionate the violence, the more functional it is; and indeed, he often lays down conditions impossible for the woman to meet—that a freshly cooked meal should be waiting for him the moment he arrives home, for instance, though he will not say even to within the nearest four hours when he is arriving home—precisely so that he may have an occasion to beat her. Indeed, so effective is this method that the mental life of many of the violently abused women who consult me has focused for years upon their lovers—their whereabouts, their wishes, their comforts, their moods—to the exclusion of all else.

When finally she leaves him, as she almost always does, he regards it as an act of the utmost perfidy and concludes that he must treat his next female companion with even greater severity to avoid a repetition. Observing the fluidity of the sexual relationships around him and reflecting upon his own recent experience, he falls prey to a permanent sexual paranoia.

. . .

But why does the woman not leave the man as soon as he manifests his violence? It is because, perversely, violence is the only token she has of his commitment to her. Just as he wants the exclusive sexual possession of her, she wants a permanent relationship with him. She imagines—falsely—that a punch in the face or a hand round the throat is at least a sign of his continued interest in her, the only sign other than sexual intercourse she is ever likely to receive in that regard. In the absence of a marriage ceremony, a black eye is his promissory note to love, honor, cherish, and protect.

It is not his violence as such that causes her to leave him, but the eventual realization that his violence is not, in fact, a sign of his commitment to her. She discovers that he is unfaithful to her, or that his income is greater than she suspected and is spent outside the home, and it is only then that his violence seems intolerable. So convinced is she that violence is an intrinsic and indispensable part of relations between the sexes, however, that if by some chance she alights next time upon a nonviolent man, she suffers acute discomfort and disorientation; she may, indeed, even leave him because of his insufficient concern for her. Many of my violently abused women patients have told me that they find nonviolent men intolerably indifferent and emotionally distant, rage being the only emotion they've ever seen a man express. They leave them quicker than they leave men who have beaten and otherwise abused them.

-Source (pub date? 1999)
 

Buer

The God of Tits and Wine
kiwifarms.net
i saw some sperging on twitter the other day, just some fagfights between these "witches" over the use of whitesage.
something about burning it to "cleanse" is cultural appropriation or some bullshit because indigenous people
like wow. burning leaves. if we were to actually believe their lunacy, then i don't think "magical forces" or whatever give a shit if white girls are using it to cleanse or not, so why gatekeep a fucking plant?

although i guess mental illness can explain anything when it comes to these people. really
They do know that some native tribes also sell white sage right? I mean I'd understand getting a bit upset if someone was buying white sage from a retailer and not from some native small business but to say they can't use it at all is really stupid. Because not all native tribes think the same way. And it's always white sage they bitch about too. I guess that's all the information they have about natives which they probably only got from twitter anyway. They also never suggest any native-owned business to go to instead which is strange.
 

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