Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

Marshal Mannerheim

Koti, uskonto, ja isänmaa.
kiwifarms.net
I don't know what to call these two things other than demonic so I'll start by saying a prayer.
St Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the Devil; may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do thou, oh Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the power of God, thrust into Hell Satan and all the evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

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First off, the fact Protestants believe that Catholics worship a biscuit does not mean we worship a biscuit, nor is transsubstantiation magic. The fact Jack Chick said something about the Catholic Church does not make it true, although witches seem to have a hard time understanding this (the number of witches who think they can use the Virgin Mary or saints in their witchcraft is surprisingly high).

Secondly, the fact that some Catholic laity do a thing does not make that thing licit. There are many lay Catholics who have committed adultery but this does not mean that the Sixth Commandment stops being valid. Similarly, the fact some lay Catholics practice witchcraft does not mean that we can practice witchcraft with a good conscience and the Church has always viewed it as a sin (case in point: Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2116-2117 and 2138).

Thirdly, the Church has never told people to pay to get their loved ones out of Purgatory. She has always taught that prayer can help speed penitents' passage through Purgatory and that one way this can be done is through Masses, but ”you can pay for a Mass to be said for your soul or your loved ones' souls” and ”if you give us a bunch of money angels will transport your soul straight to Heaven” are two different concepts. As an aside, it's worth noting that there was, and still is, a legend that even St Thomas Aquinas had to genuflect in Purgatory before entering Heaven. Purgatory is where the souls of the dead are cleansed of sin; it is not a place where you hang out while your wife sits around on Earth giving a priest money.

Fourthly, relics of the saints can work miracles because of the intercession of the saints who they belonged to. If someone has (to use an example) a lance that St Louis carried into battle, any miracles that happen as a result of that lance being venerated take place because of who St Louis was, not because of the fact it's a lance. The idea that lucky charms can work miracles on their own, without God's involvement, is a pagan concept.

Fifthly, if taking payments to heal ailments is a form of witchcraft someone should let the US healthcare system know that anything other than M4A is now witchcraft.

Sixthly, anyone who believes that the Catholic Church believes that the era of miracles ended with Jesus' death is incredibly ignorant about what the Catholic Church actually believes. To use two examples, for someone to be canonised two miracles almost always have to take place after someone prayed that that person would intercede for him in Heaven, and the Church has recognised 70 miracles at Lourdes alone. Bear in mind that the Lourdes apparitions took place in 1858, or more than 1800 years after the death of Jesus. Claiming that Marian apparitions are somehow demonic is, ironically enough, something I mainly see coming from Jack Chick-style Protestants.

Finally, anyone who believes Muslims like witches should remember that Islamic religious police routinely arrest, imprison and execute suspected witches. Ironically enough witchcraft is often a defence in sex crimes; both partners can get the death penalty if they're found guilty of adultery, sodomy or whatever, but if one of them claims that the other is a magician and hypnotised the other, he can get off.
Firstly, most scholars believe that the Urim and Thummim were used to see what the will of God was, not to try and see the future. Even if that was the case, things like the Jewish high priesthood were superseded by the New Covenant and continuing to use them implies that Jesus did not die for us, which is blasphemy. We are not Mormons, and we do not use magic rocks to tell us what God wants.

Secondly, the Albigensians were only loosely Christians. Albigensianism or Catharism was another form of Manichaeism, which was a dualist religion. The fact that the Albigensians believed that Jesus was not a material being and that the God of the Old Testament was another form of Satan should show you that they are heterodox at best.

Thirdly, people who think you can ”intersect... two religions” when one of those religions is Christian and the other not should remember what St Paul said in 2 Corinthians;
St Paul said:
Do not be yoked with those who are different, with unbelievers. For what partnership do righteousness and lawlessness have? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness? What accord has Christ with Beliar? Or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols?
 

Small-arms Supremacy

Boomer appropriator
kiwifarms.net
(the number of witches who think they can use the Virgin Mary or saints in their witchcraft is surprisingly high).
From experience this is very common not just with European witches but in the Arab world as well, just replace using saints with Islamic prophets or calling on angels or the names of god. The reason for it is that demons want to desecrate holy names and symbols. Witches will do it either out of ignorance, thinking that mixing religion with witchcraft makes it holy, or out of genuine hatred for god like the demons they contract.
Ironically enough witchcraft is often a defence in sex crimes; both partners can get the death penalty if they're found guilty of adultery, sodomy or whatever, but if one of them claims that the other is a magician and hypnotised the other, he can get off.
The issue with claiming someone is a witch is that false accusation is in itself a sin in Islam. A traditional court would take an accusation very seriously and without evidence it goes nowhere. Plus for both people to be found guilty of adultery or whatnot you either need a confession from both parties or 4 witnesses. The circumstances required for someone to not only be caught for adultery but then to claim it was witchcraft and get off are nearly impossible. Maybe being possessed would be a better excuse but I'm not aware of it being used before.
Sixthly, anyone who believes that the Catholic Church believes that the era of miracles ended with Jesus' death is incredibly ignorant about what the Catholic Church actually believes.
This was something I was very surprised that guy said. It's common knowledge that miracles are requirements for canonizing saints.
 

NoReturn

CEO Wash & Smash llc.
kiwifarms.net
Mictecacihuatl
I've seen a lot of weird offerings but cigarettes are new for me lol. This feels like a religion out of mad max.
Like I said, the religion is old.
Older-than-the-Aztec-Empire old.
Part-of-why-the-empire-existed old.
There is a reason why the Spaniards had support from the non-Aztecs of modern Mexico when they first rolled up, and it's because the Aztecs were scary as fuck. I've mentioned the story of the flayed princess earlier, but there's also this whole complex backstory between the Aztec empire and the city of Tlaxcala where the latter holed themselves up in the mountains completely separate from the empire and the Aztec only came up to bother them when they wanted prisoners of war ("butterflies") to sacrifice because they couldn't manage an actual takeover.
That's to say nothing of the tongue-and-penis bleeding, the cannibalism, the system of moral philosophy which existed in contrast to that of their neighbors... They weren't going to give up the god of death to some invaders who worshiped "A woman and a baby" (Mary and Jesus).
 

RazorBackBacon

kiwifarms.net
@Flexo if you're still taking recommendations, Panzerkampf, Great War, Lost Battalion, Last Stand, Shiroyama, and No Bullets Fly.

Also check out the band Beast In Black. And maybe Grailknights if you're into a little more silliness with your metal.

In the hopes that I can maybe not get slapped for off-topic, uh, have some viking metal?
 

Marshal Mannerheim

Koti, uskonto, ja isänmaa.
kiwifarms.net
The issue with claiming someone is a witch is that false accusation is in itself a sin in Islam. A traditional court would take an accusation very seriously and without evidence it goes nowhere. Plus for both people to be found guilty of adultery or whatnot you either need a confession from both parties or 4 witnesses. The circumstances required for someone to not only be caught for adultery but then to claim it was witchcraft and get off are nearly impossible. Maybe being possessed would be a better excuse but I'm not aware of it being used before.
I was just quoting something I heard from a guy who worked in the UAE.

Basically, a married woman was caught having sex with her cleaner and claimed that her cleaner had placed some sort of spell on her to get her to have sex with him. This might be complete nonsense but I'm just going off what this guy told me.
 

Small-arms Supremacy

Boomer appropriator
kiwifarms.net
I was just quoting something I heard from a guy who worked in the UAE.
I believe that 100% now that you mentioned where it happened. I lived there for years and that story sounds about right lol. UAE stories are wild and I have so many of them that are witchcraft related that are just as crazy.

That being said, since the fall of the Ottoman empire there hasn't been a single 'Islamic' country that applies sharia law the way it was applied in courts during Caliphate times. All these countries have secular constitutions based on old English or French constitutions with legal systems surprisingly similar to western ones. I know it might sound like a 'no true Scotsman' situation but I wouldn't call most rulings that come out of said countries Islamic in the slightest. As an example, Saudi will implement the capital punishment side of sharia but only as a political tool for people they don't like and without the nuance mentioned above about having all the witnesses or the precedent of leniency. The UAE has long prison sentences for minor drug offences when that isn't a thing in sharia.
 

RazorBackBacon

kiwifarms.net
Imagine being born into a cultural heritage of one of the most civilized countries in the world, speaking the lingua franca of the world, with so much available to you in terms of art, music and especially literature--only to collect cat bones, dress in tiger linen and frantically click your tongue while pretending to be a spear chucking head shrinker. You know, to be "authentically" Black.
Hate to keep shitting up the thread, but stuff like this reminds me of an old short story I read years ago.
 

Flexo

Don't blame me. I voted for HK-47.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
@Flexo if you're still taking recommendations, Panzerkampf, Great War, Lost Battalion, Last Stand, Shiroyama, and No Bullets Fly.

Also check out the band Beast In Black. And maybe Grailknights if you're into a little more silliness with your metal.

In the hopes that I can maybe not get slapped for off-topic, uh, have some viking metal?
Listened to Lost Battalion, Last Stand, and Shiroyama today. Will probably buy another album.

I like the historacity of them. Comedy bands amuse me too (like Okilly Dokilly).
 

NoReturn

CEO Wash & Smash llc.
kiwifarms.net
Thread content: I learned why that one chick had issues with moldavite.
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Small-arms Supremacy

Boomer appropriator
kiwifarms.net

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

voted best emperor of 222
kiwifarms.net
Like I said, the religion is old.
Older-than-the-Aztec-Empire old.
Part-of-why-the-empire-existed old.
There is a reason why the Spaniards had support from the non-Aztecs of modern Mexico when they first rolled up, and it's because the Aztecs were scary as fuck. I've mentioned the story of the flayed princess earlier, but there's also this whole complex backstory between the Aztec empire and the city of Tlaxcala where the latter holed themselves up in the mountains completely separate from the empire and the Aztec only came up to bother them when they wanted prisoners of war ("butterflies") to sacrifice because they couldn't manage an actual takeover.
That's to say nothing of the tongue-and-penis bleeding, the cannibalism, the system of moral philosophy which existed in contrast to that of their neighbors... They weren't going to give up the god of death to some invaders who worshiped "A woman and a baby" (Mary and Jesus).
The way they talk is so grating. I hate TikTok with a passion
It’s all so bloody awful
 

_giantmeteor2024_

kiwifarms.net
The people themselves. I've got a whole spiel I could go on regarding magic, but when it comes to these people I put that all in the "for later" box. The practitioners of Santa Muerte are goddamn dangerous and insane.
Now I'm way more interested than I was before.

Edit: Not literally interested as in joining the religion.
 
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Marshal Mannerheim

Koti, uskonto, ja isänmaa.
kiwifarms.net
I'm crossposting this from the SJW's thread because it seems like this might fit here:
Oh, and speaking of religious devotion to an ideology, I was trying to get some material together for a thread I was thinking of writing and found that ”climate altars” are now a thing. Unfortunately Xenforo won't let me post the PDF containing this to the forum so I'll have to post screenshots. If you want to see the PDF that badly then PM me.
climate altar 1.png

climate altar 2.png

climate altar 3.png

climate altar 4.png

climate altar 5.png
 

NoReturn

CEO Wash & Smash llc.
kiwifarms.net
Makes me want to throw in this famous figure in the witch community known as Stargirl the Practical Witch. She claims to be a starseed and is notorious for her tarot readings and messy love life.
Cross-quoting this because this witch lady has a reading for us!
 

fuzzyrodent85

kiwifarms.net
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How kill the foot hex? Just post your feet here and we will make a custom binding spell for them.

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I never even hear of the magickal vaccine debate until this tweet. I wonder how far deep into witchblr she is.

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They very rarely admit how their spells are just mental illness so points for that I guess.

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How about moving out?

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If I had her as a coworker I would probably kms if I had to listen to her talk about her magickal pms.

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I just mix my pubes and honey mustard.

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>Finally, one night she woke up at 3am saying in a deep growl "I'll eat your soul"

Exorcism time.

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You don't need a book you need to be medicalized.

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Doesn't he have other things to do than be some tumblrite's therapist?

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I work in a convenience store. The number 2 AND 7 pops up all the time on the receipt numbers. Does that mean I'm being contacted by angels and Aphrodite? :o

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Emoji spells are literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard of.

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The husband did nothing wrong?!

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Give the 1000 to me. I have some spare period blood lying around somewhere.

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No.

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Call the police.
 
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Small-arms Supremacy

Boomer appropriator
kiwifarms.net
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You don't need a book you need to be medicalized.
Maybe this person is schizophrenic but this is a rare case I think could be legit. I knew a girl with the exact same issues and her mother did some black magic on her as a child. 'Incubus demons' don't exist but I can vouch for the fact that demons can and do become attracted to people, following and harassing them, especially if the person is entirely unprotected and/or literally invited demons over through a ritual. Unfortunately for the person who posted that, looking to more occult books will likely make the problem worse instead of solving it.
This looks like one of those overly specific 'custom' shirts in Facebook ads that use your metadata to seem personal.
 

Marshal Mannerheim

Koti, uskonto, ja isänmaa.
kiwifarms.net
> don't turn vaccines into a spiritual debate... we [are] all still doing magick just fine

This is like me asking ”why are Jews making bacon cheeseburgers a spiritual debate? I eat them and my priest doesn't see anything wrong with them.”
The husband did nothing wrong?!
These people are really into the idea of polyamory. The fact that nobody can point me to a ”polycule” that doesn't devolve into everyone getting the clap, one member basically abusing everyone else or someone getting pregnant and not knowing who the father is doesn't seem to have convinced them that polyamory is unnatural.
 

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