New member or thinking of joining? / Directory - How to fit in to forum culture | Ask questions here

THOTto

Kamov’s (legal) personal cum dumpster.
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
cYEj.gif


  • While reading a thread, use "QUOTE" (it's next to "REPLY") to grab quotes for your post.
  • When you're ready to make your post, click "INSERT QUOTES" below the text box (it's next to "ATTACH FILES"). A list of the quotes you grabbed will pop up. Add the quoted messages to your post.
  • Insert your replies between the quoted messages.
  • If you're still too dense to understand this, kill yourself see visual guide below

1. Select "QUOTE" not reply. Do this for each post that you want to respond to.
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2. Down in the text box, select "INSERT QUOTES"
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3. The popup shows all the posts you quoted. "Click QUOTE MESSAGES".
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4. The quotes are now in the text box. Add your reply between each quote before submitting your post.
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Copy the URL of the video. Not the "embed code" just the simple URL.

At the top of the text box, click the three dots (next to the smiley)
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In the drop-down menu select "MEDIA"

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Paste the URL into the pop-up box and hit "CONTINUE"
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Here at the Kiwi Farms we enjoy new perspectives, and are welcoming to new members. What's less enjoyable is how the same mistakes are made again and again. Here's a thread we hope can help to remedy that! This should serve as both a crash course for new users. regardless of where you're posting on the Kiwi Farms, and also a simple guide to the ALR subforum. This is NOT a thread for asking questions about Amberlynn. Take that to General Discussion, or another topical thread where it fits, such as Health or Pets or Finances.

If you have a question about how Kiwi Farms works, there are several places you could ask:
Forum Discussion. If you have questions about forum functionality or would like to suggest/whine about a feature.
Talk To Staff. Use this forum to address more sensitive issues privately with staff.
Technical Grievances. Thread for reporting when ur shit aint werk. Remember to add your OS and browser info.
How to Support the Forum. Here you can find information on how you can donate to help bolster our beloved Kiwi Farms. You can also DM @THOTto or @Twinkie for help donating, if you have questions but are more comfortable discussing donations privately.

Site wide tips
  • Don't doublepost (see guide above)
  • Embed youtube videos (see guide above)
  • Archive everything. See this thread for tips on archiving content.
  • Check out the thread on staying safe. By far the stupidest thing newbies do is select a non-unique username
  • Consider upgrading. People often ask how they get the special stickers:drink:. You get the stickers plus access to a secret cool kids board by donating $20 for a True & Honest upgrade. See Supporting the Forum thread
  • No one cares about your weight/diet/life. Revealing identifying, intimate, or embarrassing details about yourself is referred to as "powerleveling." You don’t need to prove you’re better than the lolcow. It's not exactly a high bar. If you feel the need to say how much better you are than someone, you're probably not.
  • Lurk. Not for a day or a week, lurk for a good while, and not just this subforum. Get to know what the site is like before posting.
  • Language policing will be mocked. if slurs offend you, you're on the wrong site. Fuck your pronouns too.
  • Have something to say, otherwise use stickers. Don't post just to say you agree with someone, or that your post made them laugh. That's not content. By the way, reaction gifs/videos/images are not allowed.
  • We don't care that you prodded the cow. Whether your youtube comment got deleted by Chantal, or you scalped Charlie Gold on Twitter, you will garner no admiration here by bragging about (or bemoaning) your interactions with lolcows. We look but do not touch. Keep any cow interactions you've had to yourself.
  • No trolling plans. Don't try to get cows deplatformed (banned), demonetized, do not prank call them, send them pizzas or cardboard cocks, contact family or friends of the cow, etc. We don't do that here.
  • REPORT THINGS. You will not be penalized for reporting content even if the report is ultimately rejected and you were mistaken about the user breaking a rule. If you think someone is breaking the rules, or borderline breaking the rules, report. Again, you will not be punished for helping us sweep, so don't be shy.
  • Don’t backseat mod. Reporting is good. Directing a new user to this thread is fine, so is answering a question or reminding them of a rule. Beyond that, report and move on. Do not dogpile a user that dun goofed, you're only shitting up the thread further.
  • Use spoiler tags judiciously. If you're hiding your screed behind a tag it's a good indication that you shouldn't be posting it at all. It's probably too indulgent/long, too off-topic, too assmad, a powerlevel, etc. Spoiler tags are for NSFW images and videos, or for large batches of images. Stop putting spoiler tags on every goddamned thing.
  • Thumbnails please. Do not embed full-size images, especially phone screenshots. Hiding huge images behind a spoiler tag isn't a solution. Use thumbnails.
  • Don't host images offsite (imgur, tinypic, etc.): Image hosting sites are not dependable. Upload content via attachment directly to the Kiwi Farms. If the the images are not stored on your PC/phone, you can copy the images and paste them from your clipboard directly into your post.

Tips that are specific to the Amberlynn Reid subforum
  • Read General. Odds are the Amberverse answers you’re looking for have been posited, repeatedly.
  • Limit chatter in the Social Media thread. Take it to General Discussion, or Health Speculation, et al.
  • We make a new thread for each AL video and livestream, and we discuss it there. Do not discuss new videos in General or post the vids there. Use the purpose-created thread..
  • For the sake of consistency, please title video threads using MM/DD/YY format

Navigating ALR / points of interest:
  • People are always asking for THE CYCLE image and/or origin so here it is!

Orbiters
  • Supporting Cast: Amberlynn's ex-girlfriends, her roommates, her "friends" and "family" and some Becky...
  • The Rebecca Williams Clan: Eventually Becky and her tribe earned their own thread; see also insider @FrazzleCakes tea thread.
  • Amberlynn's aunt Tammie joined Kiwi Farms, and while she hasn't logged in for over a year and hasn't said anything since way longer than that, you should check out her post history. Fun fact: Tammie was one of, if not the very last Guest account(s) on the Kiwi Farms before Null killed the Guest account feature. The Tammie on Kiwi saga begins here with Guest accounts and soon after Tammie registered as @Interventionist (by going to her profile you can easily scroll through her post history).
  • Videos about Amberlynn that are made by other people, whether they are reactions, comedy edits, rants, etc. belong in Haydur Nation. This thread is for Amberlynn content only. If you want to discuss the Haydurs themselves (Zachary Michael, etc.) take it to Haydur Nation Meta.
  • Exceptional Haydurs of Reddit & Facebook. Point and laugh at idiots trollshielding and making fools of themselves in Amberlynn haydur groups across various social media platforms (excluding youtube).
Sperging

Dark sided

Fun

Nostalgia

Courtesy of @Hortator
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REMEMBER: Above all we’re here to laugh, if a fat idiot on the internet makes you so mad you actively wish harm on her :alog: y'all need help.

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If you feel this OP is lacking any essential info, or if there's a thread you feel should be listed here but isn't, you can DM Salon staff @THOTto & @Twinkie or leave a comment in this thread.

Thanks to @StrawberryDouche (video embed screencaps) and ya gorl twonko stair for the doublepost screenshots
 
Last edited by a moderator:

HurriedBeanbag

Chicken fucking tendies
kiwifarms.net
While there’s a few threads like this on the site, a lot of Amber centric users tend to stay in in this sub forum, since they aren’t versed in Kf’s culture at best it ends up shitting up the thread. This isn’t directed and any one user, more the influx of newfags.

  • Lurk- I don’t mean for a day or a week, lurk for a good while, and not just this subforum or the beauty parlor. Get to know what the site is like before posting.
  • READ THE GENERAL THREAD- Yes, the entire thing. Chances the answers you’re looking for have been discussed repeatedly.
  • Language policing will be mocked- if the words faggot, tranny, nigger, kike, spic, etc offend you, this isn’t the site for you. No one gives a flying fuck about proper pronouns.
  • The cows don’t need prodding- if you call Amber a fat bitch and come here to brag you’ll be mocked. Don’t get involved, it’s not funny and trying to earn the approval of a bunch of autists online is stupid. These people are funny on their own.
  • No one gives a fuck about your weight/diet/life. The forum calls this powerleveling, giving out identifying information isn’t the best idea. You don’t need to prove you’re better then Amber, if you can wipe your own ass you already are. It’s not a high bar.
  • Don’t sign up under a known alias- it’s posted everywhere for a reason, and to paraphrase the great Abbo “if someone pops into a thread and calls you a faggot don’t downvote them especially if you’ve reused a username”
  • New videos, discussion topics and streams get a new thread, questions are best left to posting in the general thread.
  • Videos about amber that aren’t made by her, whether negative or positive go Here
  • Theories about Ambers health in any capacity go in The speculation thread
  • Discussing only the side characters goes in the Supporting cast
  • The NASTY thread is for any gross stuff particularly sexual related to amber. Follow this one in particular or mama @emspex will smack you with a broom.
There are rules for a reason guys, and believe it or not a good chunk are to protect your asses. If you ignore this which I’m sure a good chunk of you will since so many people don’t read the subforum rules, I hope you like being cannibalized. If anyone can think of whatever I forgot (I’m sure there’s plenty) feel free to add on. I can’t speak for everyone but I enjoy new perspectives and members. Just not when the same mistakes pop up again and again. Have fun!
View attachment 747774
It's going to be a long summer.
 

Mr Foster

Dosh, grab it while you can lads!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
While there’s a few threads like this on the site, a lot of Amber centric users tend to stay in in this sub forum, since they aren’t versed in Kf’s culture at best it ends up shitting up the thread. This isn’t directed and any one user, more the influx of newfags.

  • Lurk- I don’t mean for a day or a week, lurk for a good while, and not just this subforum or the beauty parlor. Get to know what the site is like before posting.
  • READ THE GENERAL THREAD- Yes, the entire thing. Chances the answers you’re looking for have been discussed repeatedly.
  • Language policing will be mocked- if the words faggot, tranny, nigger, kike, spic, etc offend you, this isn’t the site for you. No one gives a flying fuck about proper pronouns.
  • The cows don’t need prodding- if you call Amber a fat bitch and come here to brag you’ll be mocked. Don’t get involved, it’s not funny and trying to earn the approval of a bunch of autists online is stupid. These people are funny on their own.
  • No one gives a fuck about your weight/diet/life. The forum calls this powerleveling, giving out identifying information isn’t the best idea. You don’t need to prove you’re better then Amber, if you can wipe your own ass you already are. It’s not a high bar.
  • Don’t sign up under a known alias- it’s posted everywhere for a reason, and to paraphrase the great Abbo “if someone pops into a thread and calls you a faggot don’t downvote them especially if you’ve reused a username”
  • New videos, discussion topics and streams get a new thread, questions are best left to posting in the general thread.
  • Videos about amber that aren’t made by her, whether negative or positive go Here
  • Theories about Ambers health in any capacity go in The speculation thread
  • Discussing only the side characters goes in the Supporting cast
  • The NASTY thread is for any gross stuff particularly sexual related to amber. Follow this one in particular or mama @emspex will smack you with a broom.
There are rules for a reason guys, and believe it or not a good chunk are to protect your asses. If you ignore this which I’m sure a good chunk of you will since so many people don’t read the subforum rules, I hope you like being cannibalized. If anyone can think of whatever I forgot (I’m sure there’s plenty) feel free to add on. I can’t speak for everyone but I enjoy new perspectives and members. Just not when the same mistakes pop up again and again. Have fun!
View attachment 747774
Excellent work @Blotto this is awesome.
 

Creepy Pig Man

A dog's rights activist, a lover, a friend.
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Looks good. I just wanted to add that the reason why you don't want to powerlevel is that KF laughs at insane, vindictive people who might dox you and fuck your shit up because you're presumably a cishet shit lord alt-right omniphobic garbage person and should be destroyed.

And don't assume 'Amber's not like that so we cool' or 'I don't even mock trannies' is going to cover you. Remember. Insane and vindictive.

Edit: for anybody who gets doxed you have my sincerest gratitude for being such a sped. Make sure you post about your experience in a General forum so guys like me who don't watch ham-planet threads can drink in the flavour of your failure to Internet.
 

Mr Foster

Dosh, grab it while you can lads!
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I wanted to expand on one point:

If you are from FB ,Twitter, or Tumblr. Do not wêen and report any cows accounts.

Getting cows suspended or banned from social media effectively kills the content we love to laugh at.

If you do this and brag about it you will get torn apart.

This is not a catty fb group, don't touchy the shity.
 

666DEATHGAY

kiwifarms.net
I wanted to expand on one point:

If you are from FB ,Twitter, or Tumblr. Do not wêen and report any cows accounts.

Getting cows suspended or banned from social media effectively kills the content we love to laugh at.

If you do this and brag about it you will get torn apart.

This is not a catty fb group, don't touchy the shity.
You are basically telling the trolls exactly what to do to push your buttons.
 

Optavia Sales Rep

kiwifarms.net
A note on power-leveling in this forum:

We're all typically pretty chill and friendly in this subforum, but please keep in mind that being friendly does not equal friends.

Don't be tempted to PL just because we've got some good banter going in one thread or another.

You do not know who is watching that thread.

Don't take PL ratings as an insult, treat them more like a stern verbal warning to watch out for yourself.
 

StyrofoamFridge

The Octoroon Child of Brittany Venti & Null
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Remember to use Brave Browser's Reward system and give Kiwi Farms a tip. You earn money you can donate just by simply browsing this way. Also, direct donations are appreciated. Null spends a lot of personal money keeping this site up and every single shekel helps!
EDIT: Due to pressure from external sources, we have been banned from the Brave BAT system, but it has been assured that there will eventually be a way to donate to Kiwi Farms privately using your BAT wallet.
 
Last edited:

sperginity

kawaii farmer
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I would move the "no one cares about your diet/weight/lifestyle" shit to the very top, because a lot of these fuckers are gonna see the suggestion to lurk more and just say "fuck this" and not read the rest of the post. Powerleveling about dieting is the number one thing that newbies do wrong imo. That's my only real suggestion to improve this post, thank you for writing it @Blotto .
 

THOTto

Kamov’s (legal) personal cum dumpster.
True & Honest Fan
Retired Staff
kiwifarms.net
A note on power-leveling in this forum:

We're all typically pretty chill and friendly in this subforum, but please keep in mind that being friendly does not equal friends.

Don't be tempted to PL just because we've got some good banter going in one thread or another.

You do not know who is watching that thread.

Don't take PL ratings as an insult, treat them more like a stern verbal warning to watch out for yourself.
Adding to this, if PLing is apart of the thread and something you have to say adds to the conversation and provides a new perspective it’ll probably be okay. Just don’t make the thread about yourself, otherwise people will take an interest in you. That being said adding content a few times grants you no immunity. Everyone is on the same level, posters, trolls and sources alike. You only need to look at Nick Bate or Shmorky to see how it can go awry.
There are plenty of newfags that are great. It's just... the type of newfag that needs to read this is the exact same type of newfag that won't read any of this.
I’d say 90% of them are fine honestly, they just need time to adjust. I was hoping it could help them a bit quicker and for the ones who ignore it, well they can’t say they weren’t warned, of that NOBODY TOLD THEM!
Remember to use Brave Browser's Reward system and give Kiwi Farms a tip. You earn money you can donate just by simply browsing this way. Also, direct donations are appreciated. Null spends a lot of personal money keeping this site up and every single shekel helps!
Another great point, not to kiss his ass to much but Null gets a lot of shit for keeping this site up. Also don’t piss him off, he’s a chill dude but this is his space still.
I would move the "no one cares about your diet/weight/lifestyle" shit to the very top, because a lot of these fuckers are gonna see the suggestion to lurk more and just say "fuck this" and not read the rest of the post. Powerleveling about dieting is the number one thing that newbies do wrong imo. That's my only real suggestion to improve this post, thank you for writing it @Blotto .
Sure thing mate, There’s a lot to cover so it was mostly stream of consciousness typing it out. Appreciate the feedback.
 

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