• ”WHY IS MY NAME STILL ON YOUR SITE FAGGOT”

New Movie Night ThreadEvery Friday Starting at 6ish

Discussion in 'Multimedia' started by Splendid Meat Sticks, May 15, 2017.

  1. So let's have a rundown on Vanity Night
    • The Room: This is a well-known classic that I shouldn't really have to explain. It's famous enough that it got its own dramatization of its making, which in turn won an Oscar. It's the most normie bad movie.
    • Maradonia: The movie that lolcow Gloria Tesch made. It's based on her incomprehensible and unfinished series of fantasy novels. The only known version (which we have,) mysteriously appeared on Youtube on an account named "America's Next Top Stripper." The entire movie is there, but they seem to have run out of money for their special effects, which makes this insane movie even more hilarious.
    • Geteven: One of many movies covered by RLM. We haven't watched this one much, but it's a masturbatory revenge fantasy that some rich guy made, just like The Room. A surprisingly gigantic number of movies get made this way.
    • Some of Neil Breen's movies: Same deal as Geteven, except he just keeps making them. Neil Breen is the star of every Neil Breen movie, and in every movie he is either the world's best hacker, Jesus, or both. Breen seems to have no budget, very strong political views (although we can't figure out what they are,) and no idea what the plot of his movie will be once he starts filming, preferring to figure it out as he goes along. He's also probably a secret genius.
    • Troll 2: it has that one part that they made a gif out of that you upvoted on Reddit
    • Food Fight: An animated movie that was supposed to rival Pixar's production quality that took nearly a decade to make. Unfortunately, the hard drives containing all of the movie got stolen and nobody remembered to make a backup. The movie that they produced afterwards suggests that none of the writers were very good anyway. It also depicts store brand food mascots as nazis, and they're lead by a sexy nazi.
    • And as always, a shitton of insane YT videos that you never thought could possibly exist.

    Guide to userscripts (mandatory to watch many movies)

    In order to watch movies, you'll need to download TamperMonkey, then create a new script, then paste all of this in there instead (delete the old stuff.)
    Code:
    // ==UserScript==
    // @name Google Drive Video Player for lolcow
    // @namespace gdcytube
    // @description Play Google Drive videos on CyTube
    // @include http://lolcow.tv/r/*
    // @include https://lolcow.tv/r/*
    // @grant unsafeWindow
    // @grant GM_xmlhttpRequest
    // @grant GM.xmlHttpRequest
    // @connect docs.google.com
    // @run-at document-end
    // @version 1.6.0
    // ==/UserScript==
    console.log('Script running');
    try {
       function debug(message) {
           if (!unsafeWindow.enableCyTubeGoogleDriveUserscriptDebug) {
               return;
           }
    
           try {
               unsafeWindow.console.log(message);
           } catch (error) {
               unsafeWindow.console.error(error);
           }
       }
    
       var ITAG_QMAP = {
           37: 1080,
           46: 1080,
           22: 720,
           45: 720,
           59: 480,
           44: 480,
           35: 480,
           18: 360,
           43: 360,
           34: 360
       };
    
       var ITAG_CMAP = {
           43: 'video/webm',
           44: 'video/webm',
           45: 'video/webm',
           46: 'video/webm',
           18: 'video/mp4',
           22: 'video/mp4',
           37: 'video/mp4',
           59: 'video/mp4',
           35: 'video/flv',
           34: 'video/flv'
       };
    
       function getVideoInfo(id, cb) {
           var url = 'https://docs.google.com/get_video_info?authuser='
                   + '&docid=' + id
                   + '&sle=true'
                   + '&hl=en';
           debug('Fetching ' + url);
    
           GM_xmlhttpRequest({
               method: 'GET',
               url: url,
               onload: function (res) {
                   try {
                       debug('Got response ' + res.responseText);
                       var data = {};
                       var error;
                       res.responseText.split('&').forEach(function (kv) {
                           var pair = kv.split('=');
                           data[decodeURIComponent(pair[0])] = decodeURIComponent(pair[1]);
                       });
    
                       if (data.status === 'fail') {
                           var error = 'Google Docs request failed: ' +
                                   unescape(data.reason).replace(/\+/g, ' ');
                           return cb(error);
                       }
    
                       if (!data.fmt_stream_map) {
                           var error = 'Google Docs request failed: ' +
                                   'metadata lookup returned no valid links';
                           return cb(error);
                       }
    
                       data.links = {};
                       data.fmt_stream_map.split(',').forEach(function (item) {
                           var pair = item.split('|');
                           data.links[pair[0]] = pair[1];
                       });
                       data.videoMap = mapLinks(data.links);
    
                       cb(null, data);
                   } catch (error) {
                       unsafeWindow.console.error(error);
                   }
               },
    
               onerror: function () {
                   var error = 'Google Docs request failed: ' +
                           'metadata lookup HTTP request failed';
                   error.reason = 'HTTP_ONERROR';
                   return cb(error);
               }
           });
       }
    
       function mapLinks(links) {
           var videos = {
               1080: [],
               720: [],
               480: [],
               360: []
           };
    
           Object.keys(links).forEach(function (itag) {
               itag = parseInt(itag, 10);
               if (!ITAG_QMAP.hasOwnProperty(itag)) {
                   return;
               }
    
               videos[ITAG_QMAP[itag]].push({
                   itag: itag,
                   contentType: ITAG_CMAP[itag],
                   link: links[itag]
               });
           });
    
           return videos;
       }
    
       /*
        * Greasemonkey 2.0 has this wonderful sandbox that attempts
        * to prevent script developers from shooting themselves in
        * the foot by removing the trigger from the gun, i.e. it's
        * impossible to cross the boundary between the browser JS VM
        * and the privileged sandbox that can run GM_xmlhttpRequest().
        *
        * So in this case, we have to resort to polling a special
        * variable to see if getGoogleDriveMetadata needs to be called
        * and deliver the result into another special variable that is
        * being polled on the browser side.
        */
    
       /*
        * Browser side function -- sets gdUserscript.pollID to the
        * ID of the Drive video to be queried and polls
        * gdUserscript.pollResult for the result.
        */
       function getGoogleDriveMetadata_GM(id, callback) {
           debug('Setting GD poll ID to ' + id);
           unsafeWindow.gdUserscript.pollID = id;
           var tries = 0;
           var i = setInterval(function () {
               if (unsafeWindow.gdUserscript.pollResult) {
                   debug('Got result');
                   clearInterval(i);
                   var result = unsafeWindow.gdUserscript.pollResult;
                   unsafeWindow.gdUserscript.pollResult = null;
                   callback(result.error, result.result);
               } else if (++tries > 100) {
                   // Took longer than 10 seconds, give up
                   clearInterval(i);
               }
           }, 100);
       }
    
       /*
        * Sandbox side function -- polls gdUserscript.pollID for
        * the ID of a Drive video to be queried, looks up the
        * metadata, and stores it in gdUserscript.pollResult
        */
       function setupGDPoll() {
           unsafeWindow.gdUserscript = cloneInto({}, unsafeWindow);
           var pollInterval = setInterval(function () {
               if (unsafeWindow.gdUserscript.pollID) {
                   var id = unsafeWindow.gdUserscript.pollID;
                   unsafeWindow.gdUserscript.pollID = null;
                   debug('Polled and got ' + id);
                   getVideoInfo(id, function (error, data) {
                       unsafeWindow.gdUserscript.pollResult = cloneInto({
                           error: error,
                           result: data
                       }, unsafeWindow);
                   });
               }
           }, 1000);
       }
    
       function isRunningTampermonkey() {
           try {
               return GM_info.scriptHandler === 'Tampermonkey';
           } catch (error) {
               return false;
           }
       }
    
       if (isRunningTampermonkey()) {
           unsafeWindow.getGoogleDriveMetadata = getVideoInfo;
       } else {
           debug('Using non-TM polling workaround');
           unsafeWindow.getGoogleDriveMetadata = exportFunction(
                   getGoogleDriveMetadata_GM, unsafeWindow);
           setupGDPoll();
       }
    
       unsafeWindow.console.log('Initialized userscript Google Drive player');
       unsafeWindow.hasDriveUserscript = true;
       unsafeWindow.driveUserscriptVersion = '1.3';
    } catch (error) {
       unsafeWindow.console.error(error);
    }
    
    After that, save the script and you'll be good to go.
    If it doesn't work, make sure that you have ad blocking disabled on lolcow.tv, and make sure that anything that could interfere with your connection, like a VPN, is disabled as well.

    Movie Night Info
    http://lolcow.tv/r/Autism Ok, so as many of you know, there's a movie night every Friday. It's an official Kiwi Farms thing.
    For a while, it's been run inside of a big PM chain for a bunch of reasons that no longer really apply anymore, so we're bringing it all back out here.
    Who
    Everyone on KF. You don't need to do any additional registration to comment, but if you want to comment on the stream you'll need a separate account.
    Voice chat and cool kids text chat requires a Discord account.
    Remember, since this is KF, it's best to make a discord account that's separate from anything else you might do.

    What
    We watch all sorts of shit, movies, tv shows, random Youtube videos, just about anything.
    If you want us to watch something specific, you should generally have a free source already set up and not blocked in too many (relevant) countries. Sometimes a video will be randomly blocked in a bunch of tiny countries and that's no big deal.
    At present, your choices are to stream it yourself, or use Youtube or Dailymotion. Vid.me also works, but there's a little more effort involved.
    Links to videos hosted elsewhere are worthless and will be ignored.

    When
    Every Friday at 8. There's also an unofficial alternative movie night on Saturday, and some people are experimenting with an unofficial anime night on Sunday.
    Where
    The stream itself: http://lolcow.tv/r/autism
    The official Discord: https://discord.gg/BGDSSyQ

    How
    Most people can't add videos. Bug someone with a colored name on the stream if you want to watch something, but see the rules below.
    Please be sure that any videos that you a
    Upload your videos to vid.me as unlisted. Note that unless you verify your channel, you can only upload 1GB per week, and your videos can only be 30 minutes long, so if you want to watch something longer, you'll have to split it up manually beforehand. They won't verify your account with no original content, and it's a manual process, so you're probably not going to cheat your way past it somehow. There's nothing preventing you from having as many vid.me accounts as you want though.
    Next, you have to get the link that vid.me uses:
    [​IMG]
    See that long ass url? That's the one you're looking for.
    Vid.me links expire about 2 hours after you first load the page, so keep that in mind when you're putting the links into the playlist.
    We also have a way to directly stream shit but it's complicated and I've never done it.

    Rules
    1. In voice chat, don't scream over other people, and if you want to discuss politics, go to the politics room. A few political jokes, etc are fine, but anymore than that and you need to head there.
    2. Since Movie Night is an official KF thing, any bans from KF also apply to movie night. The reverse isn't true.
    3. MN staff is there to enjoy the event too, so an occasional request for a relevant video is fine, but demanding that we insert your 3 hour long Hindi romantic comedy at 11:30 PM or whatever is probably just going to be ignored. You're much more likely to have success if you already have the link ready to stream for us and you ask in advance. You're still pretty likely to get what you want if you have a working, ready-to-stream link for us when you ask us. Remember that we can only take links from a few services though. Right now, Youtube, Dailymotion, vid.me, and (I think) Efukt all work. Most other stuff doesn't, but feel free to ask. The sites that just straight up host pirated content don't work though.
    Shit we don't watch
    We don't watch any of this stuff for one reason or another, ranging from Null banning it to previous poor feedback. Exceptions are sometimes made for some of them though:
    • Anything that has more than a little bit of subtitling
    • Hardcore porn
    • Ancient Aliens
    • Serious/mainstream music videos
    • Serious documentaries (unless they're about something weird or fucked up or whatever)
    • TIHYDP's
    • Videos that have been heavily edited to avoid automatic takedowns (moving image, super zoomed in, you get the idea.)
     
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    #1 Splendid Meat Sticks, May 15, 2017
    Last edited: May 10, 2018
    Splendid Meat Sticks

    Splendid Meat Sticks Castigat ridendo mores
    True & Honest Fan Lolcow TV Captain

    kiwifarms.net
  2. Ok, first off, taking suggestions on what we should watch this week.
    For those of you who are new, there's usually some overarching theme every week. Oftentimes that gets very diluted and sometimes is completely unrecognizable by the end of the week, but having something to start with helps keep us focused.
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    Splendid Meat Sticks

    Splendid Meat Sticks Castigat ridendo mores
    True & Honest Fan Lolcow TV Captain

    kiwifarms.net
  3. Since were starting off fresh here with a new thread let's make it a simple theme this week. Turkish action movies.
     
    • Like Like x 3
    MasterDisaster

    MasterDisaster Back in the Stone Age.
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  4. Oh we don't take shit videos that are bot protected. Yeah lets not squint over a high contrast video that fills up less than a quarter of the screen
     
    • Agree Agree x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    Valiant

    Valiant Salty Space Bitch
    Staff Member Moderator True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  5. Also if you want to add a movie make sure its the actual movie. There's a ton of fake-out movies where it'll look legit and even start right up but it's actually just one still shot from the film for an hour and a half.

    Also since no one has challenged Bollywood yet I offer this;
     
    • Dislike Dislike x 1
    MasterDisaster

    MasterDisaster Back in the Stone Age.
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  6. I'll add this to the op
     
    • Dislike Dislike x 1
    Splendid Meat Sticks

    Splendid Meat Sticks Castigat ridendo mores
    True & Honest Fan Lolcow TV Captain

    kiwifarms.net
  7. Watching this.
    Also, @MasterDisaster and @_blank_ provided these:


    Hell yeah we're watching these.
    I'm busy this week, so I'm going to throw in some Troma content from Youtube, unless people have other suggestions.

    I'm also always looking for filler videos, so feel free to submit those too!
     
    • Dislike Dislike x 1
    Splendid Meat Sticks

    Splendid Meat Sticks Castigat ridendo mores
    True & Honest Fan Lolcow TV Captain

    kiwifarms.net
  8. has this been played at a movie night before ?

     
    DICKPICSRUS

    DICKPICSRUS Tfw no salt mine

    kiwifarms.net
  9. At least twice.
     
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    MasterDisaster

    MasterDisaster Back in the Stone Age.
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  10. It's really short, so I wouldn't be opposed to playing it again.
     
    • Dislike Dislike x 1
    Splendid Meat Sticks

    Splendid Meat Sticks Castigat ridendo mores
    True & Honest Fan Lolcow TV Captain

    kiwifarms.net
  11. Time to discuss a theme/what you would like to see this week!
     
    • Dislike Dislike x 1
    Splendid Meat Sticks

    Splendid Meat Sticks Castigat ridendo mores
    True & Honest Fan Lolcow TV Captain

    kiwifarms.net
  12. I've been out of the loop for a while, but with Roger Moore's passing, I would think there's a plethora of awkward low budget spy movies out there that just wait to be watched.
     
    RomanesEuntDomus

    RomanesEuntDomus May contain nuts.
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  13. when did Roger Moore passed away to me he is 2sd best 007 there was
     
    • Disagree Disagree x 1
    jenffer a jay

    Verified True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  14. Spy kids?
     
    Ido

    Ido Discord Dominatrix
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  15. Spy movies, especially low budget ones, sounds great
     
    • Dislike Dislike x 1
    Splendid Meat Sticks

    Splendid Meat Sticks Castigat ridendo mores
    True & Honest Fan Lolcow TV Captain

    kiwifarms.net
  16. So Spykids?

    Also Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
     
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    • Agree Agree x 1
    Valiant

    Valiant Salty Space Bitch
    Staff Member Moderator True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  17. Super Mario Bros. (1993) or Brazil (1985)?
     
    ConcernedAnon

    ConcernedAnon Concerned and hopefully anonymous

    kiwifarms.net
  18. Spy movies you say?

    Oh wait, bad spy movies? I know the crown jewel of them all is Leonard Part 6 but that's a hard one to find...so I'll toos ins two I know I can get.
    Get ready for super spy Sean Connery('s brother Neil) in his breakout role in this inept italian spy movie.
    It goes by a lot of names but it generally knows as Double oo7.


    And this one, well, I can't say enough about it. I can promise you this; you will be laughing within the first thirty seconds of this movie.
    I mean the title alone says so much. 'For Your Height Only'.
     
    • Winner Winner x 2
    MasterDisaster

    MasterDisaster Back in the Stone Age.
    True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
  19. If anyone has a good digital copy of it, Class of 1999 would be great for a movie night. It is full of cheesey tough 80s punk teenager moments, and the big action scenes at the end are great. It takes place in the nightmare future of 1999 where teenage punk rocker gangs run around armed with military weapons. A mad scientist played by Stacey Keach (who would years later play the head nazi in American History X) invents these Terminator robot teachers its really great. Also he isn't, but I could have sworn the main character was played by Corey Feldman, I had to check imdb just to be sure lol.

     
    Picklepower

    Picklepower This isnt even my final form

    kiwifarms.net
    • Winner Winner x 3
    Valiant

    Valiant Salty Space Bitch
    Staff Member Moderator True & Honest Fan

    kiwifarms.net
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