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Ninjas vs pirates -

StraightShooter2

StraightShooter2

kiwifarms.net
This shouldn't even be a debate:

1. Ninjas are elite, trained warriors - basically a Feudal Japanese equivalent of SpecOps

2. Pirates are just a bunch of drunken, scurvy infested rabble

Of course ninjas would win hands-down. It's be like asking "who would win in a straight-up firefight - a Delta Force or SAS team with sniper and assault rifles - versus a group of saggy pants gang-bangers with 9mms.
 
mr.moon1488

mr.moon1488

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Don't know about that now, a lot of pirates started off as privateers (basically mercenary pirates) and had actual military training.

Jean Fleury
JeanFleury.jpg
 
Bec

Bec

Good dog best friend
kiwifarms.net
How to be Funny on the Internet: Lesson 1 by Andrew Hussie

The Internet is nothing if not a boundless population of aspiring comedians. They utilize this uncensored medium as an incubator of sorts for their abilities as humorists before exploding onto the standup circuit. While this will is universal, being a natural humorist is far from it. Luckily, I have a roadmap that will guide you towards the appearance of being funny on the Internet, if strictly adhered to.

Mention Ninjas.

“A blur of black in a dim room. As the emperor ponders his koans, he cracks an eyelid. But it’s too late. Who else could make off with ancient scrolls and the lion’s share of a kind emperor’s spine before the shutter has yet swung closed from entry? If your answer was ‘not a ninja’, you’re fucking retarded.”

Ninjas are evidently hilarious. Particularly if alluded to in a manner that might be construed as tongue-in-cheek. But not completely. You don’t want to come off like you’re making fun of ninjas, because it is common knowledge that they are awesome.

If you are unlearned in the vicissitudes of cyberspace, you may find this confusing. I will try to explain. The first thing to realize: ninjas are awesome. There is nothing not awesome about them. They are practically the archetypical embodiment of awesomeness. So what exactly is so funny about them? Actually (and this is what may be hard to understand), nothing at all. When a ninja is invoked in any context, the response promotes the illusion that something humorous was said. But what has actually occurred is a mutual celebration of ninjas’ all-around awesomeness, kind of like an “implied high five”.

But wait, there’s more. You don’t want to get too wrapped up in how awesome ninjas are. That would be comedic seppuku. This will breed an attitude of reverence, and you begin to take them too seriously. Taking things seriously is nerdish, and very unfunny, especially on the Internet. You will become the target of ridicule, rather than targeter. This is why you must take a step back, and strike that intuitive balance between reverence for, and an outright mockery of ninjas. The joke becomes the fact that they are awesome, and they become MORE awesome because they are the joke. Place them in curious juxtapositions, mix them with references to pop culture. You’ll get the hang of it.

And one final thought. Once you have digested all of this, and then mastered it, realize this profound scrap: the joke is actually the joke. Meditate on THAT.

Mention Pirates:

Pirates are also hilarious, and mentioning them will make you hilarious as well. This is for a similar set of reasons that make ninjas are funny. They are awesome. But awesome for different reasons. True, both classes share themes of danger, deadliness, and being generally badass. But while ninjas convey stealth, precision, and cunning, pirates evoke a sense of adventure, bravado, and foolhardy swagger. Their passion for buried riches is legendary, and they are not too proud to sing and dance either, provided a steady flow of rum. Mentioning pirates will conjure visions of all these things, and your friends will be enamored of your ruggedly adventurous sensibilities.

But as is the case with ninjas, your deployment of pirate references must also be tongue-in-cheek. You don’t want to come off as actually being into pirates seriously. That would be idiotic. Again, it’s like a verbal high five in celebration of pirates and what they represent. Consider a literal high five for a moment, between a couple of guys. It’s not about the momentary slapping of skin. It’s a symbolic gesture celebrating good times. If it were actually about the touching, the feeling of the other male’s skin on yours, and that’s what you liked about the high five, your mate would quickly become uncomfortable as you prolonged the gesture, caressing his palm. He would think you were gay. This brings us to the next point…

Call Things “Gay”.

Being associated with homosexuality on the Internet, particularly being called “gay”, is to be avoided. On the other hand, calling people and things “gay” yourself is a good way to help you in your quest to be funny. It lets people know the following:

1) You aren’t too politically correct to humorously equate homosexuality with something negative. This is not to say you dislike gays or the practice of being gay. You just know how to stay loose and have fun, you know?

2) You clearly have opinions on things, particularly dislikes. Hating things, or more importantly, appearing to hate things, is a really excellent way to create the illusion that you have interesting thoughts, and a complex set of criteria for evaluating things for quality. This will intrigue people, who may secretly fear that your outlook on which things are gay might be more sophisticated than their own. Who knows, you may get some converts to your (largely fictional) set of values.

Call Things “Retarded”.

If you don’t see why this word by itself is milk nostril-evacuatingly side-splitting, you’re fucking retarded.

Conversation Exercises:

Actor A: “Hey man, that website you showed me the other day was so gay.”

Actor B: “You must be retarded. You’re so retarded, your grandmother was raped by fucking pirates.”

Actor A: “Don’t say shit about my grandmother. She WAS a pirate. Trained by secret ninjas to do some totally un-gay moves on retarded gay people like you.”

Actor B: “I’d appreciate you not bringing my sexual orientation into this.”

Actor A: “Sorry.”

Actor B: “You know, I think you’re right. That website is pretty gay.”

Lesson Summary:

The themes in this lesson you have noticed, and indeed the key most Internet-driven humor, are:
- Mentioning things. By mentioning funny things, you seem funny.
- Use 2 hilarious words a lot.
- Communicate poorly developed opinions with those words.

With a little practice, these rudimentary skills will be yours. Try using Google to dig up a picture of a ninja for your e-journal. Use the word “gay” to describe the next movie you see, even if you like it. Oh man, I’m laughing already!
 
Just A Butt

Just A Butt

are you some sort of mexican?
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
wasn't this debate old 10 years ago?

eta: why did you delete the thread about the nazis killing atheists?
 
Solid Snek

Solid Snek

True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
I've always loved ninjas, and for most of my life, I - like many other autists - believed in the "historical ninja" trope. I rejected the idea that ninjas were magical superhumans - proposed by authors such as Frank Dux and Ashida Kim - but accepted the notion that ninjas were a historical special forces group, raised and trained in, for example, the Iga and Koga provinces- an idea championed by many instructors and academics, as for example Antony Cummings and, formerly, Stephen Turnbull. However, the most reliable and most widely cited source on Ninjaology, Dr Turnbull, published the following paper in 2015:

The Ninja: An Invented Tradition

tl;dr ninjas didn't exist. And by that, we don't just mean that magical fantasy ninjas never existed; even the "historical ninja" trope is probably itself a fiction, stemming from a misreading of period sources. While there was certainly a military need for intelligence operations and covert action in feudal Japan, these functions were most likely performed by normal soldiers and samurai, not by a distinct caste of rural Spec Ops warriors.
 
Ughubughughughughughghlug

Ughubughughughughughghlug

kiwifarms.net
Solid Snek said:
I've always loved ninjas, and for most of my life, I - like many other autists - believed in the "historical ninja" trope. I rejected the idea that ninjas were magical superhumans - proposed by authors such as Frank Dux and Ashida Kim - but accepted the notion that ninjas were a historical special forces group, raised and trained in, for example, the Iga and Koga provinces- an idea championed by many instructors and academics, as for example Antony Cummings and, formerly, Stephen Turnbull. However, the most reliable and most widely cited source on Ninjaology, Dr Turnbull, published the following paper in 2015:

The Ninja: An Invented Tradition

tl;dr ninjas didn't exist. And by that, we don't just mean that magical fantasy ninjas never existed; even the "historical ninja" trope is probably itself a fiction, stemming from a misreading of period sources. While there was certainly a military need for intelligence operations and covert action in feudal Japan, these functions were most likely performed by normal soldiers and samurai, not by a distinct caste of rural Spec Ops warriors.
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NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
You can’t take ninjas away from me 🥷 🇯🇵
 
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