- Sep 9, 2013
Protip: If you're writing in first person, you damn better be able to describe your character not only damn well, but also with enough variety to keep it interesting. You also might want to make their thoughts and opinions obvious, as the entire story is more or less being perceived through their eyes.
I see no such attempts being made in this. Not only is the main character of this... this crime against literature a mary-sue, but they're completely and utterly soulless. I don't even sense the author's opinion inside them, just an endless void akin to a nonentity.
I'm not as experienced with first person as third person, but IMHO when you commit to writing in first person you also have to commit to describing your narrator as minimally as possible. At least be tactful about it. Even when I'm looking in the mirror I'm not mentally listing and describing every article of clothing. I'm thinking, "Does this look good?"
EDIT: Although this does depend on the narrative framework. If it's stream-of-consciousness then descriptions should be kept to a minimum or brought up only when relevant (ex: smeared make-up from crying, being too short to reach something). But if the story is being told through a diary or letters or something then it's more acceptable to get specific. I'm not sure what framework Boutin used, if any.