Northern Irish Loyalists/Unionists - Willie Frazer, Peter Robinson, Ian Paisley, DUP, PUP, UVF, A bunch of dinosaurs who belong in a museum, bigots, raging hateboners for anything Irish

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18 year old grey wolf high school dropout
As much as I dislike Republicans and their homicidal party Sinn Fein from up North, in terms of idiocy, Northern Irish loyalists take the cake. They make the country and its entire Protestant community look like dogmatic, small-minded retards, when they really aren't. Northern Irish Loyalists can be best described as a mix between bible-thumpign evangelicals from the USA and the horrendously cringey British far-right. Usually, you can find them on Youtube chimping out about videos relating to Ireland or on Facebook circle-jerking in their groups with Unionist content. Many come with usernames such as "UlsterScots *Insert Generic name here"" or "Loyalist4eva, ironic considering that England could hardly ever care about them (As seen in this Grauniad Article here). Many politicians and prominent Unionist figures such as Willie Frazer, member of the failed Protestant Coalition and Ian Paisley Jr. (Son of Reverent Ian Paisley) can arguably considered lolcows in their own right. With their intense paranoia, some are strangely convinced that the Republic is the number one enemy and are trying to undermine their beloved Ulster, even though they wanted nothing to do with either side during the Troubles.

Their culture is very interesting indeed. While the rest of the UK has become fairly secular, NI unionists worship King William (A Dutchman ironically) in their Orange Marches and speka of their victories at the Battle of Boyne and Aughrim (which neither Ireland or UK are particularly interested about). Other interesting aspects of their culture include creating bonfires on thr 12th of July consisting of Irish flags and figures and having Autistic tantrums over their "culture" being attacked. Sometimes, they take their anger out on the Republic, who don't really understand why they're trying to stir tensions. Their raging hate for Ireland and Irish culture from accusing anything Irish such as the GAA as IRA supported and believing the South is some "terrorist hellhole" is quite ironic, considering they use the Red Hand of Ulster and Cú Chulainn ( which are symbols of Irish culture and nationalism). It's even more funny considering their beloved phrase "No surrender" was first said by a Protestant living in Co. Cork.


Northern Irish Loyalists, despite believing their entitlement to Ulster is "god-given", are descendants of the remaining plantation owners that came from Scotland and Northern England during the 1600s in the North of Ireland. During the next few centuries, clashes between the native Catholics and settlers would begin to simmer slowly, thus leading up to the partition of Ireland in the 20s and the Troubles midway in the 20th century as a result of poor planning by the UK government. As a result from centuries of violence and difficulty from both sides, England couldn't bother their arses, especially considering it took a lot of budget from them. Many of them bang on about their victories against the Catholics from the 1600s, even though Ireland has eventually gained independence and their own land.

How to piss them off​

Some of the ways you can piss them off include talking about the three other counties of Ulster or telling them that it's Irish majority but one way to really get under their skin is to question their culture and why they have bonfires and how they cause health issues or the celebrations when the rest of the UK don't really give a shit.

Note: Peter Robinson got cucked by his wife's boyfriend.

They even march in another Catholic country, how interesting.




Note: that symbol is actually the emblem of Munster.

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Hint: The GAA jersey was from a school.
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Guy gets his knickers twisted over a photo of Dunluce Castle in a video about the Irish anthem and spergs about it.
They really come across as really insecure.

Somebody tell them that the three counties voted to be in Ireland!



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Even though they're lulzy, some of their songs are awesome and flute skills are pretty good.


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Yo, buddy. Still alive
So.. how are they lolcows? This behaviour is pretty universal across a lot of nationalists/patriots online and irl.

Hell, even football fans do it. Football hooliganism is considered somewhat of a serious issue for a reason, after all.

kosher bath salts

You wouldn't get it
High upon the gallows tree swung the noble-hearted three.
By the vengeful tyrant stricken in their bloom;
But they met him face to face, with the courage of their race,
And they went with souls undaunted to their doom.

"God save Ireland!" said the heroes;
"God save Ireland" said they all.
Whether on the scaffold high
Or the battlefield we die,
Oh, what matter when for Erin dear we fall!

Girt around with cruel foes, still their courage proudly rose,
For they thought of hearts that loved them far and near;
Of the millions true and brave o'er the ocean's swelling wave,
And the friends in holy Ireland ever dear.