Notorious murderers or criminals who are lolcows -

Feline Supremacist

I am a Dog-Exclusionary Radical Felinist
True & Honest Fan
Michael X, an OG race baiting grifter from the UK who was hanged in Port of Spain for killing a Conservative's MP's daughter. He was the muscle for a London slumlord while simultaneously conning people out of money for his black power commune (he was bailed out by John Lennon on more than one occasion). In an incident that gained him notoriety he accosted and beat a businessman, dragged him to his commune and forced him to wear a spiked "slave collar" while extorting him.

He's a character in the film The Bank Job, which may or may not be based on fact.

All of them.
I can only think of 2 famous criminals that aren't lolcows D.B Cooper and whoever carried out the 300 million yen robbery in japan but that's probably because nothing is known about them.

Peter Madsen seems like a huge lolcow high school dropout who built midget submarines and rockets. He gave a submarine ride to a journalist where he raped her, killed her and dismembered her corpse.

Chaos Theorist

It would be spiteful To put jellyfish in a trifle
Stephen Mcdaniel.


Does Chris Watts count


My Face Everyday | Archivist
True & Honest Fan
John Wayne Gacy. Gay clown
Ironically he was an upstanding citizen. Even in Jail, he made life better for the inmates. The clown thing comes because the group he belonged too went to birthday parties as clowns.


"I-It's pitch black! My future is pitch black!"
T.J. Lane

Shot up his High School where he was then tried as an adult and plead guilty to get three life sentences. According to Wikipedia:

A couple years later he managed to escape prison but got captured a few hours later.

Anyone who throws their life away to be an asshole in Court for 15 minutes definitely qualifies as a lowcow.
I was about to say TJ Lane! His whole family situation was fucked up and his attitude during the trial was absolutely horrifying.

Flip: Draw 2
Jerrod Murray. He is noteworthy for being incredibly courteous despite being a cold-blooded murderer. He confessed to police, spoke clearly and politely and of course, wore his nice suit every day but wasn't balding enough to wear a fedora. Surprisingly, he was found not guilty due to insanity.
Take notes kids, pretending to be the joker won't get you out of the slammer. Being polite will.


Burke and Hare. They accidentally stumbled into serial murder to make money selling cadavers and free up space in their boarding house. Their biggest mistake was killing a lovable town idiot who everyone began to miss instantly, as well as prostitutes that everyone in town recognized.

They are lolcows because they were dumb and fucked each other over during the trial. But the real villain of the story was the surgeon they sold the bodies to. He got away with it completely.

Conan the Cylon

Defeating the purpose
UK centric post, and I don't know if these criminals would be considered lolcows but they're pretty infamous for idiotic reasons.

This is a case where in 1993 two ten year olds abducted, sexually assaulted, and brutally murdered a 2 year old boy, and were arrested and spent eight years in prison. They were released and given new identities because there was a real threat they would be hunted down and killed by the boy's family and community, and really all sound minded people in England (and there still is). The first culprit has managed to stay out of trouble and not much is known about him now. The other however, originally named Jon Venables, had to be relocated with a new name several times because he would either just TELL people who he was, or his new friends would share photos including him online. The last time this happened, as the police came around to escort him out of his location he was caught trying to destroy hard drives discovered to be filled with child porn. Gigs-worth. He went back to prison for a few years and released under the same stipulations only to be once again caught with child porn and a child grooming manual. He's in prison still after this one as far as I know. A lot of the UK would still very much like to see him dead.

Charles Salvador better known as Charles Bronson isn't exactly a lolcow as much as he is a fun read because he's a maniac. He's been in and out of prison and involuntary psychiatric holding for over forty years because while out of prison he seems content merely with robbery, in prison he can't stop mauling people. Since his initial arrest, the times he's been actually free range between 15 and 69 days. He's a former strongman and bare-knuckle boxer who is apparently capable of bending his cell door bars with his bare hands. He's been in solitary almost as often as out for several altercations with other inmates and guards, often taking hostages, and taking part in several riots, once (that we know of) buck-naked. He's absolutely a violent psychopath, but because he's so well-known in the UK he keeps getting interviewed by the press and authors writing books and films about him and no one knows exactly how many crimes he's committed because he's known for constantly making up new stories about himself. He's also won several awards for demented and edgy paintings he's created in prison. Behold:

If you want a laugh, read up on Bronson. He makes media appearances from behind bars pretty frequently still.