[Nov 25] Phil Threatens His Neighbor - Fends off Sexual Assault - Needs Bail Money

Tragi-Chan

A thousand years old
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
But hold on, Phil, I thought you were an internationally-wanted terrorist killing fascists on the streets of Portland? Why would the police arrest you for this, but not any of your many other infinitely more badass crimes? Surely... you weren’t... lying to make yourself feel better about your failed life?
 

break these cuffs

W A O
kiwifarms.net
$50 on the situation being completely in his mind?
It's so fucking hard to tell with Spud since he lives so much in fantasy land. Combine that with his dick chop being a huge flop and him being a boring faggot since then, it's entirely likely he just manufactured this as something to bounce and squeak about. If anything happened I'm guessing the neighbor might have said something directly to him whereas before he kept his comments under his breathe or only gave Phil disgusted looks. At most Phil garbled something incomprehensible and waddled away while trying not to piss himself, :optimistic: I know. Especially about the not pissing himself part.
 

REGENDarySumanai

Poopie
Local Moderator
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
Lol I first read this as "Phil Threatens - His Neighbour fends off Sexual Assault" and thougtht that Phil had finally succumbed to eunuch lust and tried to bugger his neighbour with a stud of ginger
That would be an infinitely more interesting story, but Phil lacks the thought process or anything else to go through with it.
 

Tragi-Chan

A thousand years old
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net


Phil had to smoke some pot and pass out after all that excitement.
I love the way Phil claims to be this total badass who’s feared across Portland, yet one unarmed man giving him the stink-eye terrifies him so much that he can’t even be in the same building. I’m starting to think that his genitalia dropped off out of revulsion at what an unbelievable coward he is.

I don’t know what he thinks his planned mob is going to do, other than give the property management company a solid reason to boot his continent-sized ass to the gutter.
 

wes

kiwifarms.net
LITERALLY SHAKING

Tbh fam, it's embarrassing for a "Antifa Crime Min. of Vegan ISIS" to be so cowardly. Real ISIS members would blow up the apartment in the name of the Islamic State.

We should heed Spud's warning though. Casa de Potato apparently has guard ducks! :c
spud.jpeg
 

Adamska

Last Gunman
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
So my guess is that the sickly old man that is his neighbor told him to quiet down due to the two tards being unable to keep quiet at sane hours of the day, and Phil babbled in real life while shitting his pants in fear and then made up this tough guy act to pretend he isn't a fat coward who can't even sleep in his own bed. This is also a shitty attempt to get money from people who won't give it to him since he doesn't feed the scam back, as well as a possibility that the sped-housing he has might be under threat due to how Phil is too retarded to pay his bills on time.

Regardless, it shows once again that Phil is a monstrous retard who can only pick fights if he thinks he's stronger than the victim, and that he's often too chickenshit to even do that.
 

nvrwastetree

Identifies as an attack helicopter
kiwifarms.net
It's November
The first of the month is in a couple days. Phil will have his tugboat by then. But yeah, if his stupid ass did hit his neighbor with the baton, he's going to have alot more to worry about than going to jail. He's probably going to get hit with a assault with a deadly weapon charge, as well as premeditated murder (hopefully) if everything he has been crying about is true. Also, it's nice to see that Phil finally understands that no one likes him, nor has his back. If he does go to jail, I hope the neighbor presses charges, as well as anything else. If Phil is dumb enough to have slingblade post bail, well, he shouldn't have high hopes for that because we all know toren will just take the bail money and buy booze, just like Jim Lahey and Randy Bobandy.
 
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